Jill, Derick, Israel and the latest Dillard- Part 23

[Casserole]

5 hours ago, pfled said:

Yikes! Poor thing

How fundie is this mother? I lol-ed for a minute at the situation, but then realized this is something the Duggars would send a kid to the prayer closet for. Maybe withhold food or encourage Jesus to tell her she should eat more salads so her future husband will want her  

Hope none of that happens, of course, but if you're friends with the Duggars, you've got to be a little bit evil. 

[SweetFellowshipper]

1 hour ago, ClaraOswin said:

Why must everyone assume a woman with extra belly fat is pregnant? It's so freaking annoying to me. It's such a common place to hold onto extra weight. You'd think people would 'get' that by now. 

Even if it was Anna...she's hung onto extra belly weight since her first child so there's no way to know by looking if she's early in a pregnancy or not.

I know, I'm pregnant now but whenever I was younger and gained 10 pounds or so from, you know, EATING, my mom would ask if I was pregnant. No! I gained weight like every other person in the world does at some point-- on my stomach!

[SamiKatz]

2 hours ago, Casserole said:

How fundie is this mother? I lol-ed for a minute at the situation, but then realized this is something the Duggars would send a kid to the prayer closet for. Maybe withhold food or encourage Jesus to tell her she should eat more salads so her future husband will want her  

Hope none of that happens, of course, but if you're friends with the Duggars, you've got to be a little bit evil. 

 

Maybe the mother is actually defending her daughter?  The kid is 17, it can't be easy for her to have endless comments about how she looks pregnant, must be pretty demoralizing.

 

[halcionne]

I'm certain @Fascinated and anyone else who asks about the contents of a Duggar's uterus is only asking because it's a Duggar. The 17 year old girl should feel flattered that she looks like Anna, not embarrassed by being mistaken for pregnant. I'm built very much like that girl and I don't think I've ever been mistaken for pregnant.

[Stormy]

2 hours ago, ClaraOswin said:

Why must everyone assume a woman with extra belly fat is pregnant? It's so freaking annoying to me. It's such a common place to hold onto extra weight. You'd think people would 'get' that by now. 

Even if it was Anna...she's hung onto extra belly weight since her first child so there's no way to know by looking if she's early in a pregnancy or not.

I was reluctant to hop on the that's-totally-Anna train, but I did think it was her on the basis that there aren't a lot of fundie women with medium-length hair like hers. (I'm wondering if it's a choice or genetics.)

Aside from that, I'm 22, have never had children, and my stomach looks like that and always has. I've had to be selective about the type of shirts I wear because anything remotely tight catches all the dips and crannies of my mid-section, made worse by that I'm actually relatively petite and can look pregnant if I'm not careful. It's just where my fat distributes. I've also been 'adult-sized' since late grade school, and know what its like to be compared to grown women at a young age. I feel horrible for this girl and I hope no one's said anything to her directly, and that her mom is simply putting people on the internet in their place and won't shame her daughter over it. We don't know for sure. I know no one meant any harm, but I totally would have been mortified if it had been me.

7 minutes ago, halcionne said:

I'm certain @Fascinated and anyone else who asks about the contents of a Duggar's uterus is only asking because it's a Duggar. The 17 year old girl should feel flattered that she looks like Anna, not embarrassed by being mistaken for pregnant. I'm built very much like that girl and I don't think I've ever been mistaken for pregnant.

Let's not get to the point where we dictate how someone from [insert sub-culture here] should feel about something. Fundamentalist children are not immune from being self-conscious about their bodies. She didn't get mistaken for Anna for her likeness, but for what she looks like from the neck down. I don't think a 17-year-old's psyche goes straight to 'yay, I look like Anna Duggar!' when strangers point to an unidentifiable picture of her and cry pregnant. Flattery, my ass.

[SweetFellowshipper]

Why should the girl not be embarrassed?! Come on now, she's a 17 year old girl and people (random strangers) are saying she looks pregnant. I would be humiliated, especially at that age. If you say you wouldn't I don't think that's honest. Fundies are still human beings. And the mom seemed like she was defending her! Like a normal mom! 

Most people have a little extra around the middle, it's embarrassing to have that pointed out and speculated on. 

[halcionne]

28 minutes ago, Stormy said:

I was reluctant to hop on the that's-totally-Anna train, but I did think it was her on the basis that there aren't a lot of fundie women with medium-length hair like hers. (I'm wondering if it's a choice or genetics.)

Aside from that, I'm 22, have never had children, and my stomach looks like that and always has. I've had to be selective about the type of shirts I wear because anything remotely tight catches all the dips and crannies of my mid-section, made worse by that I'm actually relatively petite and can look pregnant if I'm not careful. It's just where my fat distributes. I've also been 'adult-sized' since late grade school, and know what its like to be compared to grown women at a young age. I feel horrible for this girl and I hope no one's said anything to her directly, and that her mom is simply putting people on the internet in their place and won't shame her daughter over it. We don't know for sure. I know no one meant any harm, but I totally would have been mortified if it had been me.

Let's not get to the point where we dictate how someone from [insert sub-culture here] should feel about something. Fundamentalist children are not immune from being self-conscious about their bodies. She didn't get mistaken for Anna for her likeness, but for what she looks like from the neck down. I don't think a 17-year-old's psyche goes straight to 'yay, I look like Anna Duggar!' when strangers point to an unidentifiable picture of her and cry pregnant. Flattery, my ass.

You said yourself you thought it was Anna because of her hair.

I wasn't clear in my comment. Of course I'm not trying to dictate how someone should feel about something. I was simply trying to reframe the situation. I don't think if anyone saw that girl they would say "hmm that teenage girl looks pregnant." People said something because they thought she was Anna. As in, "hmm that looks like Anna and she's a bit thick in the middle. Since it's Anna, maybe she's pregnant."

So, yes, someone with a bit of confidence could think "wow I look like Anna Duggar and she's so pretty" and not "wow I look pregnant which means I'm fat." I do agree with the bold but a person on Free Jinger wondering if a member of a fertility cult is pregnant isn't body shaming.

[VineHeart137]

9 minutes ago, halcionne said:

You said yourself you thought it was Anna because of her hair.

I wasn't clear in my comment. Of course I'm not trying to dictate how someone should feel about something. I was simply trying to reframe the situation. I don't think if anyone saw that girl they would say "hmm that teenage girl looks pregnant." People said something because they thought she was Anna. As in, "hmm that looks like Anna and she's a bit thick in the middle. Since it's Anna, maybe she's pregnant."

So, yes, someone with a bit of confidence could think "wow I look like Anna Duggar and she's so pretty" and not "wow I look pregnant which means I'm fat." I do agree with the bold but a person on Free Jinger wondering if a member of a fertility cult is pregnant isn't body shaming.

I dunno, if I was that 17 year old girl and I read the bolded, my thought would be "Well, I'm not Anna, so I guess I'm just thick in the middle, AKA fat."

[Casserole]

1 hour ago, SamiKatz said:

Maybe the mother is actually defending her daughter?  The kid is 17, it can't be easy for her to have endless comments about how she looks pregnant, must be pretty demoralizing.

 

It's absolutely a mother defending her daughter.

In extreme fundie families speculation about a child's sexual orientation seems pretty equivalent to speculation that your perfect innocent angel is a 17 year old pregnant heathen... thus causing private repercussions at home. Which is why I hoped God didn't "lay it on her heart" to go on a diet or something similar. 

I'm not sure what I meant is coming across properly so I'll see myself out... 

[SamiKatz]

59 minutes ago, VineHeart137 said:

I dunno, if I was that 17 year old girl and I read the bolded, my thought would be "Well, I'm not Anna, so I guess I'm just thick in the middle, AKA fat."

 

 

If a photo was posted of me and someone said "Hey, that's Angelina Jolie, she must be pregnant", and someone else pointed out it wasn't Angelina Jolie, I wouldn't be thinking "Hey, I look like Angelina Jolie".  I'd be thinking "Hmmm.  I'm fat". 

[luxfilia]

Also, a woman can be quite skinny and still have a bit of a pooch under the belly button. I know I do, and my gyno has commented before that my uterus is quite large and tilts forward (which she says is unusual for someone, like me, who's never been pregnant). No matter how thin I get, my uterus literally makes me belly stick out on one side of my body.  It bothered me more when I thought it was my stomach, but now that I realize it's just my uterus, I realize maybe it's actually not normal or healthy for lots of us to have a super flat stomach.

[Carm_88]

14 minutes ago, luxfilia said:

Also, a woman can be quite skinny and still have a bit of a pooch under the belly button. I know I do, and my gyno has commented before that my uterus is quite large and tilts forward (which she says is unusual for someone, like me, who's never been pregnant). No matter how thin I get, my uterus literally makes me belly stick out on one side of my body.  It bothered me more when I thought it was my stomach, but now that I realize it's just my uterus, I realize maybe it's actually not normal or healthy for lots of us to have a super flat stomach.

I'm the same way, one part of my stomach makes me look pregnant no matter what. I also have a puckered scar from an appendectomy. And it just drags on things. I'm making my peace with it.  

[SweetFellowshipper]

1 hour ago, halcionne said:

 

So, yes, someone with a bit of confidence could think "wow I look like Anna Duggar and she's so pretty" and not "wow I look pregnant which means I'm fat." I do agree with the bold but a person on Free Jinger wondering if a member of a fertility cult is pregnant isn't body shaming.

I don't know. I have plenty of confidence and I definitely would think "well, they think I'm fat." You can't even see her face in the photo, all you can see is her body and the comment about her body was that she's pregnant, how would she do the mental gymnastics of thinking she must be pretty if she looks like Anna? Lol

[nickelodeon]

I don't get why people are so eager to see Anna bear The Devil's Spawn in the first place. :\

[apandaaries]

1 minute ago, nickelodeon said:

I don't get why people are so eager to see Anna bear The Devil's Spawn in the first place. :\

I don't think anyone is particularly eager to see this, but many are curious about how their reconciliation is going, along with the seemingly inevitable adherence to cult standards -- which invariably means a pregnancy.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Fascinated]

Thanks, @halcionne, for trying to defend me.  Yes, I thought it looked like it could be Anna.  I expect Anna is or will be pregnant again at some point.  I apologize to everyone for intimating that this young woman looks fat (she doesn't).  

I don't think I've ever speculated on a woman's possible pregnancy before but, it is one of the areas of FJ that is confusing. I feel like without discussing pregnancies, possible or actual, the Duggar forum would have way fewer comments.  But I've chastised posters for rampant speculation here, so I'd better woman up and admit I fucked up.  

[Buzzard]

30 minutes ago, amandaaries said:

I don't think anyone is particularly eager to see this, but many are curious about how their reconciliation is going, along with the seemingly inevitable adherence to cult standards -- which invariably means a pregnancy.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm not anxious to see it, but its like when you know something bad is going to happen, you just want it over with.  We all know that she will be pregnant again, and likely Josh will return to TV along with the birth.  Lets just get this shit over with instead of pretending.

[halcionne]

Fair enough, @SamiKatz about Angelina Jolie. 

IDK, I guess fundies sometimes read here, but I don't think commenting here is quite the same thing as commenting on FB, whether it was at DFO (super rude and not cool) or Pickles (less likely for the girl to see it, but still somewhat likely). I don't know where on FB this all happened, fwiw.

There seem to be (at least) two schools of thought on pg speculation around here, and I doubt anyone is prone to switch sides. I will speculate if I see a chunky Duggar, just like I would speculate if I saw a chunky Maxwell or Mueller. Because babymaking is a huge part of what's wrong with this sect.

Don't miss The Cult Next Door, coming soon to a theater near you!

[SweetFellowshipper]

I don't feel super strongly about the morality of pregnancy speculation on FJ when it comes to these families, I just find it annoying when it clogs up the threads, but that's another thing entirely. I do feel bad for this young woman, though. I think the speculation the mom was defending her against was on FB, though.

[GotCaughtDancing]

I think with Jill and Derick we are seeing the cracks starting to happen. I am sure this runs rampant in a majority of marriages where children were raised like Duggars. You go from being completely dependent on family , because everyone and everything else is evil and Jesus. You are raised to be a breeder & run a home with no critical thinking or coping skills and the only experience you had was your buddies. Then in less than a year you meet someone and are chaperoned and wham bam you are married and supposed to be having a perfect life because you are holy. Now add kids into this mix. I am sure these two are going through growing pains as humans but they don't come first as breeding and being 'happy' does. It took Michelle a little longer to crack since she wasn't whisked into a foreign country away from her family. I think Derick is acting out because 1. he married into an insanity greater than he thought. 2. He is just a dick and we are seeing it. 3. He's been heavily swigging the koolaid and has bought into how important he is and that their message is the only right one and the rest of us are heathens. 4 He is a dick.

I do think the major reason they came home was to get pregnant.  I think out of all of the older girls Jill will pop them out like j'chelle. Her personality in needing all the attention and looking like the perfect daughter and baby vessil screams for it. lol

 

Just my 2 cents. I hope it made a little sense, I am working on 45 minutes sleep.

[flycat]

8 minutes ago, GotCaughtDancing said:

 

I think with Jill and Derick we are seeing the cracks starting to happen. I am sure this runs rampant in a majority of marriages where children were raised like Duggars. You go from being completely dependent on family , because everyone and everything else is evil and Jesus. You are raised to be a breeder & run a home either no critical thinking or coping skills and the only experience you had was your buddies. Then in less than a year you meet someone and are chaperoned and wham bam you are married and supposed to be having a perfect life because you are holy. Now add kids into this mix. I am sure these two are going through growing pains as humans but they don't come first as breeding and being 'happy' does. It took Michelle a little longer to crack since she wasn't whisked into a foreign country away from her family. I think Derick is acting out because 1. he married into an insanity greater than he thought. 2. He is just a dick and we are seeing it. 3. He's been heavily swigging the koolaid and has bought into how important he is and that their message is the only right one and the rest of us are heathens. 4 He is a dick.

Just my 2 cents. I hope it made a little sense, I am working on 45 minutes sleep.

I also think that Michelle and Jim Bob had a chance to form identities as adults and then commit to this lifestyle so they came in as more fully formed people. They were allowed to experience ups and downs as kids and teens which allows them to understand struggle as part of the human experience even if you are godly. 

[GotCaughtDancing]

5 minutes ago, flycat said:

I also think that Michelle and Jim Bob had a chance to form identities as adults and then commit to this lifestyle so they came in as more fully formed people. They were allowed to experience ups and downs as kids and teens which allows them to understand struggle as part of the human experience even if you are godly. 

Yes! Thank you, I couldn't quite get out exactly what I was going for. I can't imagine being in my mid twenties, being married with children and having no frame of reference to look upon. How more of these women don't go off the deep end is beyond me. Maybe with this second generation the truth will really be evident.  I really really loathe M & JB for the poor parenting they gave these children.

[VixenToast]

Everyone is saying, "I hope they don't put that girl on a diet."

why? She is perfect, she is lovely, yes, she is a beautiful young woman, but we are deluding ourselves that she is a healthy weight. If we go on the supposition that she doesn't have a disease and that it's based on current eating habits, then yes, I hope they don't put her on a fad diet or a crash diet, but instead encourage healthy eating. But for Christ sake, if she's hanging with Duggars how much you wanna bet they use Velveeta and other processed food nasties in for family meals? And this is just assuming she doesn't have a disease or genetic condition.

therefore, if a "diet" is in her imminent future, I sure hope her family changes their diet, and not hers. Fuck it, I wish we all could change our diets, cuz most of us, my fat ass and tummy very much included, don't eat nearly as healthy as we should, nor do we have an affordable and easy selection to shop from in our society. 

I wish happiness and healthiness and continued anonymity for this unnamed girl, but I can't ignore people ignoring reality. I'm prepared for down votes. I'm FJ's resident bipolar cootch, I'm in IDGAF mode and I don't mean to offend, however this IS an offensive topic, so if I come off bitchy, forgive me, 'twas not my intent. It's taken me an hour of writing and rewriting. Ugh. 

[twinmama]

On 1/1/2017 at 0:41 PM, SweetFellowshipper said:

It's nice. I see him and still get skeeved out, though. I'm glad they seem to continue to have an affectionate relationship. Something about him just seems so off. 

I think Jill is probably way too crazy girlfriend attached (like not going a whole workday without visiting, if he had a job), but really I'm glad they are still into each other. Better than the other way for sure!

IMO if you hang with the Duggars, you may get mistaken for one of them and they are constantly getting pregnant and making that Their Thing and inviting speculation. If this was some random girl at a party, nothing Duggar related, no one would have wondered if she was PG. The biggest deal in that kid's life is that her mother (or her?) has horrible taste in friends, not a bit of belly pooch.

[grandmadugger]

34 minutes ago, VixenToast said:

Everyone is saying, "I hope they don't put that girl on a diet."

why? She is perfect, she is lovely, yes, she is a beautiful young woman, but we are deluding ourselves that she is a healthy weight. If we go on the supposition that she doesn't have a disease and that it's based on current eating habits, then yes, I hope they don't put her on a fad diet or a crash diet, but instead encourage healthy eating. But for Christ sake, if she's hanging with Duggars how much you wanna bet they use Velveeta and other processed food nasties in for family meals? And this is just assuming she doesn't have a disease or genetic condition.

therefore, if a "diet" is in her imminent future, I sure hope her family changes their diet, and not hers. Fuck it, I wish we all could change our diets, cuz most of us, my fat ass and tummy very much included, don't eat nearly as healthy as we should, nor do we have an affordable and easy selection to shop from in our society. 

I wish happiness and healthiness and continued anonymity for this unnamed girl, but I can't ignore people ignoring reality. I'm prepared for down votes. I'm FJ's resident bipolar cootch, I'm in IDGAF mode and I don't mean to offend, however this IS an offensive topic, so if I come off bitchy, forgive me, 'twas not my intent. It's taken me an hour of writing and rewriting. Ugh. 

You can tell how healthy someone is from a random photo on the internet?  We've already had posters say their tummy area looks like that for various reasons. It's also a party where food was probably consumed and she could just be bloated. You are making a lot of assumptions based off of a photo of a young girl we've never seen before.