The Invisible Jinger (and Her Preacher Man Jeremy)

[newyorkgirl52]

On 1/3/2017 at 8:25 AM, justmy2cents said:

Krista has other friends.  It could be anyone getting married, not just Joy or Joseph. I doubt she would give anything away on her social media about the Duggars before it was officially announced.

 

True. Krista has always been one of the "better" friends....nothing like J-rod

[sta_sha]

51 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

 I distinctly remember being told that women were routinely told to use a second form of birth control for three months or so  after stopping the PIll.

My family doctor recommended this to me in the spring when I told her I would likely be trying to get pregnant in the next year. She explained that the pill (or at least the particular pill I took- not sure about others) works in part by thinning the uterine lining. She suggested giving my body a bit of time to build the lining back up after stopping the pill. A thicker lining makes it easier for a fertilised to implant I guess? 

 

[Fun Undies]

17 minutes ago, SweetFellowshipper said:

She did it to have a job, I guess (she was always a little odd). It is really disconcerting to see her FB posts about how nothing matters except Jesus/prayer and science and facts are overrated (you know the kind of memes) mixed with "headed to work today xoxo!" At a hospital. Cognitive dissonance much?

Then again, I have a definite bias...When I watch the Bates' show and see the Bible verses and Jesus references in the background at the ob/gyn and even the urgent care clinic (?!?!?!), or when I see those photos of surgeons having prayer circles before a surgery, I get freaked out. They just shouldn't mix in my mind. I'm sure that some very intelligent people are doctors or nurses for partly religious reasons...I'd just prefer not to know about them or have them on the walls as I get treated.

I think it's okay if a patient brings up their faith - and if the medical team is comfortable with it as well - to pray together IF everyone's comfortable with it.  But no, I agree, that though a health plan CAN sometimes include spiritual well being as part of their healing/recovery plan, the medical team should keep religion and their job separate unless a patient brings it up first.

That being said, I have a sweet story to share: during some work training two years ago, we were swapping birth stories during our break.  Our teacher shared that back in the 70's, she had a stillborn son during her third trimester.   Shortly afterwards, she was pregnant again, and understandably anxious when she went into labor.  During it she shared she was agnostic, but if anyone wanted to pray during her delivery she'd welcome it.  Between the several nurses, and doctor, there was a Christian, a Hindu, and I think, a Buddhist.  They all joked between all of them praying at once, someone's prayer should hopefully reach some entity - and yes, she delivered a healthy, baby boy.  For her, in that moment, her medical team praying with her in that labor and delivery room was a comfort.  But again, when it's imitated by the patient first, I think it's okay

[SweetFellowshipper]

16 minutes ago, sta_sha said:

My family doctor recommended this to me in the spring when I told her I would likely be trying to get pregnant in the next year. She explained that the pill (or at least the particular pill I took- not sure about others) works in part by thinning the uterine lining. She suggested giving my body a bit of time to build the lining back up after stopping the pill. A thicker lining makes it easier for a fertilised to implant I guess? 

 

Yes! People drink red raspberry tea for the same reason. A thinner lining= no implantation.

@Fun Undies, yeah, I don't mind it if the patient wants it and I'm glad people have a choice if that's what they want. It just personally gives this atheist the heebie jeebies. Decorating the walls with it is pretty obnoxious IMO unless it's explicitly a Christian place and that's clear before you go.

[Jana814]

10 minutes ago, Fun Undies said:

I think it's okay if a patient brings up their faith - and if the medical team is comfortable with it as well - to pray together IF everyone's comfortable with it.  But no, I agree, that though a health plan CAN sometimes include spiritual well being as part of their healing/recovery plan, the medical team should keep religion and their job separate unless a patient brings it up first.

That being said, I have a sweet story to share: during some work training two years ago, we were swapping birth stories during our break.  Our teacher shared that back in the 70's, she had a stillborn son during her third trimester.   Shortly afterwards, she was pregnant again, and understandably anxious when she went into labor.  During it she shared she was agnostic, but if anyone wanted to pray during her delivery she'd welcome it.  Between the several nurses, and doctor, there was a Christian, a Hindu, and I think, a Buddhist.  They all joked between all of them praying at once, someone's prayer should hopefully reach some entity - and yes, she delivered a healthy, baby boy.  For her, in that moment, her medical team praying with her in that labor and delivery room was a comfort.  But again, when it's imitated by the patient first, I think it's okay

I use to watch Dr. 90210 on E.  Their was an episode where they were doing surgery on a Pastor. He wanted to prayer before he went under and the surgical staff did it. 

[sansan]

13 minutes ago, Fun Undies said:

I think it's okay if a patient brings up their faith - and if the medical team is comfortable with it as well - to pray together IF everyone's comfortable with it.  But no, I agree, that though a health plan CAN sometimes include spiritual well being as part of their healing/recovery plan, the medical team should keep religion and their job separate unless a patient brings it up first.

That being said, I have a sweet story to share: during some work training two years ago, we were swapping birth stories during our break.  Our teacher shared that back in the 70's, she had a stillborn son during her third trimester.   Shortly afterwards, she was pregnant again, and understandably anxious when she went into labor.  During it she shared she was agnostic, but if anyone wanted to pray during her delivery she'd welcome it.  Between the several nurses, and doctor, there was a Christian, a Hindu, and I think, a Buddhist.  They all joked between all of them praying at once, someone's prayer should hopefully reach some entity - and yes, she delivered a healthy, baby boy.  For her, in that moment, her medical team praying with her in that labor and delivery room was a comfort.  But again, when it's imitated by the patient first, I think it's okay

I know it is not for everyone but I would take the prayers any day of the week.

 

[Iamtheway]

40 minutes ago, SweetFellowshipper said:

She did it to have a job, I guess (she was always a little odd). It is really disconcerting to see her FB posts about how nothing matters except Jesus/prayer and science and facts are overrated (you know the kind of memes) mixed with "headed to work today xoxo!" At a hospital. Cognitive dissonance much?

Then again, I have a definite bias...When I watch the Bates' show and see the Bible verses and Jesus references in the background at the ob/gyn and even the urgent care clinic (?!?!?!), or when I see those photos of surgeons having prayer circles before a surgery, I get freaked out. They just shouldn't mix in my mind. I'm sure that some very intelligent people are doctors or nurses for partly religious reasons...I'd just prefer not to know about them or have them on the walls as I get treated.

That would freak me out. I know plenty of smart religious people. But I want my doctors to believe in science and facts first and Jesus second or not at all. 

[Fun Undies]

@SweetFellowshipper nope I totally understand your point! Is it okay if I ask what are some things that would be a comfort during a time of physical healing?  <-- If you'd rather not say, just ignore this post, and I won't bug you or anything, promise.  I learned a few things from atheist friends and acquaintances about what's helpful and not in basic conversations, and during a time of loss ~ but I'm interested to hear what might be comforting (besides basic awesome bedside manner ), to say to someone who is atheist, while they're stuck in a hospital bed.

^ I'm hoping I worded that right, I'm just genuinely curious.

ETA: also agree that decorating a medical place in only one religion is obnoxious, unless it's stated in their title that they belong to the religious group. 
ETA2: anyways, night y'all ~ my shows are about to be on, and I'm bingewatching with my MIL   See you all tomorrow!

[feministxtian]

When my husband had his total pancreatectomy, we had the hospital chaplain come pray...his nurse and two of his surgeons came to pray with us...evidently something worked...he is one of a very small minority who FLEW through surgery, out of ICU in less than 24 hours and remarkably complication free in the ensuing almost 4 years now. 

[goldengrove]

59 minutes ago, Fun Undies said:

^ I'm not sure it's about a lot of fundies being in the South, as much as the "Bible belt" has a lot of evangelical Christians who like to preach the loudest, and truly believe that their #1 job in this life is to convert as many souls as possible - irregardless of how those souls reach Jesus (thus giving the unfortunate appearances that all of us Christians are bible thumping, fire and brimstone types).

I actually would argue that less than 25% of Christians would actually go up to a stranger and try to scare them into Jesus' arms with threats of eternal damnation being their lead argument (but I'd have to find a study I read about the various Christians groupings found in America that I read a few years ago to confirm that statistic).

I agree...I was born and raised on the edges of the deep South, spent decades there, most Christians I knew would never dream of getting in someone's face about religion.

I also found extreme evangelicals can pop up in the weirdest situations, which is often the last thing one needs on top of everything going on at the time

[SweetFellowshipper]

24 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

When my husband had his total pancreatectomy, we had the hospital chaplain come pray...his nurse and two of his surgeons came to pray with us...evidently something worked...he is one of a very small minority who FLEW through surgery, out of ICU in less than 24 hours and remarkably complication free in the ensuing almost 4 years now. 

I actually really like chaplains if they're not pushy, as they're trained in multiple spiritual paths. 

My husband had a really bad experience when he had his spinal cord injury where nuns kept coming back to visit him when he told them every day it made him uncomfortable and he thanked them for the care but please, he did not want to pray. They came back every day assuming he was just "out of hope" (he is a hugely optimistic person, just Buddhist, not Catholic!) until he just started pretending to be asleep when they came around, lol. I think the offers are nice, I just don't like when *some* religious folks assume something's wrong with you or you have no hope left if you don't prefer to pray or talk about God. 

@Fun Undies, I don't feel offended at all! Every person is different obviously but I don't mind things like moments of silence and holding hands, or someone just saying "I believe you and your doctors are strong enough to get you through" or "we're all rooting and here for you" or "you're a strong person and I've been thinking of you/care about you." I also don't mind if someone tells me they've prayed for me, as that's about their own beliefs. If someone knows I'm not religious or I tell them and they know I don't share their beliefs, I just don't prefer direct references to Jesus/the Bible, because then it seems like their statement is more about conversion or pushing things on me than actually *me* and my tough situation. I'm not going to get mad over it but it does feel pointed if they're aware.

Re: evangelicals, I think it's pretty inarguable that there are more of them in the South than anywhere else, though that doesn't mean that all of them are obnoxious or rude...Though looking at these stats, I might have a skewed view because I have lived in the two top evangelical states AND the two least, minus mostly-Mormon Utah, so I've been exposed to the extremes! 52% of Tennesseans identify as evangelical?!?! http://factsandtrends.net/2015/11/10/the-most-and-least-evangelical-states/#.WG2rO6CIbqA

[feministxtian]

Hubby's surgery was in a teaching hospital (University of Arizona)...the chaplain was sort of a non-denominational sort...I'm thinking maybe more generic spirituality and social worker...it didn't matter. The team that operated on him was decidedly inter-faith...and at that time, I didn't care if they wanted to pray to a broom...I was such a mess that they ended up slipping me a xanax and some zofran...

[seasonsoflife]

On 1/1/2017 at 10:53 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I'm guessing Joy and Austin will announce their engagement before Jinger announces a pregnancy. This is how I think the 2017 announcements will go in order:

Jessa gives birth

Joy engaged (Valentine's Day)

Jinger pregnant

Anna pregnant

Joy married

Jill gives birth

Jinger gives birth

Anna gives birth

Joy pregnant

I can't deal with this.

[Kittikatz]

3 hours ago, Adrienne83 said:

My nurse husband tells me stories about co-wokers who have idiotic medical opinions. It really happens more often than you realize. He, and they, are RNs.

About ten years ago an actual MD told me the same thing about the pill, and gave me a big lecture about how "when" I decided it was time to get pregnant, to use alternate contraception for two months after I stopped the pill, because otherwise I would be more likely to miscarry or have a child with birth defects. She also told me to make sure I got pregnant before I turned 35 because older mothers are much more likely to have 'bad outcomes' 

At that point I knew for sure I was dealing with a doctor who was

a. quack and;

b. definitely didn't listen to me, because I'd been super clear that I was never planning on spawning and had even asked her if health care would approve a tubal ligation (for the record, they won't because "I might marry someone who wants children" - and of course a theoretical husband's desire for children would automatically trump my own choice to refrain from becoming a mother /s GD patriarchy - sorry, that's my rant for the day)

[Coy Koi]

2 minutes ago, Kittikatz said:

At that point I knew for sure I was dealing with a doctor who was

a. quack and;

b. definitely didn't listen to me, because I'd been super clear that I was never planning on spawning and had even asked her if health care would approve a tubal ligation (for the record, they won't because "I might marry someone who wants children" - and of course a theoretical husband's desire for children would automatically trump my own choice to refrain from becoming a mother /s GD patriarchy - sorry, that's my rant for the day)

How frustrating! I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I think every adult should have the option of being sterilized, of course after having been properly cautioned about any risks and the likelihood of it being irreversible (which should just go without saying...obviously all medical procedures should involve informed consent whenever possible). Adults are allowed to do an infinite number of things that can have a dramatic impact on their lives and that they could potentially one day regret. I don't see how this should be any different.

[ClaraOswin]

I've never noticed any bible quotes on the walls in any of my doctor's offices before. Though it wouldn't surprise me since one is a Catholic based hospital (not sure what if there's a better way to word that?) and the other is Methodist. I suppose if you go into those types of places they can put whatever they want on the walls.

[seasonsoflife]

1 hour ago, Fun Undies said:

I think it's okay if a patient brings up their faith - and if the medical team is comfortable with it as well - to pray together IF everyone's comfortable with it.  But no, I agree, that though a health plan CAN sometimes include spiritual well being as part of their healing/recovery plan, the medical team should keep religion and their job separate unless a patient brings it up first.

That being said, I have a sweet story to share: during some work training two years ago, we were swapping birth stories during our break.  Our teacher shared that back in the 70's, she had a stillborn son during her third trimester.   Shortly afterwards, she was pregnant again, and understandably anxious when she went into labor.  During it she shared she was agnostic, but if anyone wanted to pray during her delivery she'd welcome it.  Between the several nurses, and doctor, there was a Christian, a Hindu, and I think, a Buddhist.  They all joked between all of them praying at once, someone's prayer should hopefully reach some entity - and yes, she delivered a healthy, baby boy.  For her, in that moment, her medical team praying with her in that labor and delivery room was a comfort.  But again, when it's imitated by the patient first, I think it's okay

I was born a preemie and when they thought I wouldn't make it, one of the nurses that was taking care of me brought holly water and "baptized" me. My dad was a little upset, my mom though it was sweet (we are not Christians).

[nastyhobbitses]

1 hour ago, Fun Undies said:

@SweetFellowshipper nope I totally understand your point! Is it okay if I ask what are some things that would be a comfort during a time of physical healing?  <-- If you'd rather not say, just ignore this post, and I won't bug you or anything, promise.  I learned a few things from atheist friends and acquaintances about what's helpful and not in basic conversations, and during a time of loss ~ but I'm interested to hear what might be comforting (besides basic awesome bedside manner ), to say to someone who is atheist, while they're stuck in a hospital bed.

^ I'm hoping I worded that right, I'm just genuinely curious.

ETA: also agree that decorating a medical place in only one religion is obnoxious, unless it's stated in their title that they belong to the religious group. 
ETA2: anyways, night y'all ~ my shows are about to be on, and I'm bingewatching with my MIL   See you all tomorrow!

As a cultural Jew/atheist, what I find the most comforting when I'm scared and sick and not sure what's going to happen is just a little empathy: "I know it hurts, I know it's hard, this totally sucks right now, but we'll help you get through it and get better". Nothing special, no praying to Neil DeGrasse Tyson or whatever, just, ya know, treating me like a human being and being positive but realistic about my situation.

That being said, one of the most wonderful acts of kindness I ever experienced was when a cab flaked out on me when I had to get to the train station to get back to work after a very scary doctor appointment (biopsy revealed pre-cancerous cells, which really aren't a big deal and I'm going to be fine, but of course all I heard was "pre-cancerous" and "we're doing  biopsy right now"), and a lady heading to the train station gave me a lift. She comforted me and told me everything would be OK, and said she'd pray for me. Maybe I don't believe in an entity that would hear her prayers, but to me, "I'll pray for you" just meant "I hope that everything goes well for you and I'll think of you". It was really, really nice. I'll always remember her kindness when I was freaking out and alone.

[SweetFellowshipper]

43 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

As a cultural Jew/atheist, what I find the most comforting when I'm scared and sick and not sure what's going to happen is just a little empathy: "I know it hurts, I know it's hard, this totally sucks right now, but we'll help you get through it and get better". Nothing special, no praying to Neil DeGrasse Tyson or whatever, just, ya know, treating me like a human being and being positive but realistic about my situation.

 

Omg. Praying to Neil Degrasse Tyson-- fucking killed me. Amazing. 

Somebody could pray to Bernie Sanders or Angela Davis and I'd likely join in. Or JK Rowling. 

[SamiKatz]

My surgeon (I have severe arthritis in one of my knees), is a Christian and every time I see him he tells me he's been praying for me.  And that I need to lose weight. So he's kind of like my Mother ( who is also Christian).   

[Adrienne83]

6 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

Why did she become a nurse then? To treat people that don't have enough faith? She should have been a preacher to save lifes. 

Everyday I read something on this forum that makes me think that these people can't possibly exist for real. 

If I had to guess, the money. The people that I know of all are able to deal with the icky nurse stuff, and like the money. And honestly, it might be a ministry or something to them.

One of his old co workers was trying to marry a doctor. She's roughly mid twenties, and has slept her way through each floor. What I assume chases them off is her talking to them about how great it would be to marry a doctor that has money.

[LaPeleona]

As a long time reproductive health worker I'm always super sad to hear the crazy stuff that people are told by trusted medical sources. Current recommendations for combined hormonal contraceptives is that they do not cause miscarriages or harm to a developing pregnancy. You can quickstart a bcm (meaning don't wait for your period) and test for pregnancy two weeks later if you had some recent unprotected sex . Also when you are using some ovulation supressing bc, as soon as you stop it, you are likely to ovulate. I've never heard of delaying pregnancy to build up a thicker uterine lining as something helpful when seeking pregnancy but it sounds like that is a popular thing being told to people. Side note I'm still horrified by the poster who had a doctor try and manually flip their retroverted uterus. Retroverted uterus is less common but doesn't need treatment. 

[feministxtian]

I remember being told to use an alternate method of bc for three months after stopping the pill...but the last time I took the pill was 1989.

[PainfullyAware]

Hmmm it's really interesting to read all of these experiences. In Canadians hospitals there are specific religions or denominations that founded the hospital. I go most often to a Jewish founded hospital. The name and the fact that their is a sign to a small synagogue are the only signs of this. There is an interfaith prayer room as well. In terms of treatment though, I have never, ever had any religious references anywhere I've been treated, including mention of prayer. I have read that some Catholic hospitals in the US elect not to offer services that go against religion precepts. In Canada most Catholic hospitals refer out for abortions or vasectomies and now may refuse medically assisted dying. But they don't generally trumpet it around and they do refer out. Others may have had different experiences but religion and medicine are pretty separate here. I don't think I'd mind if someone said they'd pray for me but i would definitely if they acted judgemental about my choices.

[anotherone]

14 hours ago, vspielman said:

This.  Just....my god.   This.  Where in the hell did this woman get her nursing degree???????????  Was she actually an RN?  Or even an LPN?

The idea of going off BC for a few months to "get it out of your system" was pretty common about 20-30 yrs ago.  I was told that as well, from a mainstream doctor.  It was more an offhand comment, and I didn't question it since I had heard it before. The pill back then had a much stronger amount of hormones.  So I don't think it was any reflection on the nurse.