Lori Alexander, 12: Transformed, But We Can't Tell

[onemama]

I can't get over her negativity.

From the yoga pants thread;

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Women have zero sense of modesty these days, unfortunately.

 

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It will probably fall on deaf ears if she is not a believe or she doesn’t have a softened heart to truth.

From the scolding men thread:

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It must be so hard to be a preacher in today’s culture and trying to please the women who make up the majority of their attendees most likely.

From the women running for office thread:

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Words that so greatly offend the majority of women today are a breathe of fresh air to women who love the Lord and His beautiful and perfect design for men and women.

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I believe the way women have voted has hurt our country more than helped it since many tend to be short-sighted and vote for what is best for them instead of seeing the big picture and voting for what is best for the country as a whole.I believe the way women have voted has hurt our country more than helped it since many tend to be short-sighted and vote for what is best for them instead of seeing the big picture and voting for what is best for the country as a whole.

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Nothing that feminists have fought for is what matters to the Lord so it shouldn’t matter to us. In fact, it has done way more harm than good

I don't know if she even knows what she's saying sometimes.  I doubt she gives much thought to these replies.

[polecat]

1 hour ago, onemama said:

Words that so greatly offend the majority of women today are a breathe of fresh air to women who love the Lord and His beautiful and perfect design for men and women.

 

Classic fundy tactic -- there is no way to argue with this. If you're offended, you're clearly a worldly woman and do not love the Lord. Therefore, you cannot say anything in response to whatever argument Lori has put forth in this post without outing yourself as a genuine Whore of Babylon (tm).

[slickcat79]

23 hours ago, polecat said:

This annoys me, too, along with those commercials where men are made to look like idiots or incompetent fools. But I wonder if Lori realizes that she does it, too, when she implies that men can't do anything around the house? Or that they are helpless in the face of their libidos? Rigidly enforced gender stereotypes/roles do none of us any good.

Lori should appreciate those tropes, since it helps reinforce the idea that men can't do anything around the house, and thus shouldn't bother to try. It allows women to continue to be stuck with all the household work in addition to any other job they may have, but with a dash of flattery because they're just BETTER at it. Of course, she probably wouldn't like the solution, which is (ideally) for couples to find a way to collaborate on household chores and teach boys that housework is part of being a responsible adult instead of just a "girl thing"

 

23 hours ago, Koala said:

It seems she watched a movie over the weekend:

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On Saturday, I was sick so I watched a Christmas movie on a Christian channel.

Every.single.movie she watches goes against her world view (women are always at fault).  

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I watch Hallmark movies. In every single movie, the woman is mad at the man for a time. I can’t recall when the couple separated because the man was mad at the woman. What’s up with this?

 I would guess that since Hallmark Channel's audience is probably 99% women, they show movies that they think will resonate with women. But since there are no Godly Older Women falling out of the woodwork to counsel me, I'll just assume I'm most likely wrong. 

 

[Koala]

Ken had an interesting exchange with one of Lori's readers yesterday.

Ken:

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Where was this post when we needed it 30 years ago! I remember being talked to in premarital counseling that it was the husband’s responsibility to lead, so this meant I had the primary responsibility for keeping the marriage on track. How do you best keep a marriage on track… you please her and apologize often.

In our toughest days of arguing and upsets I sought out the counsel of my pastor and another pastor and their simple words put me right back on this track of doing everything I could to “please my wife.” “No matter how difficult your wife and marriage is Ken, your job is to “love your wife as Christ loves the church and gave His life for her.”

The merry-go-round of trying to please a difficult wife who cannot be happy with you is an endless exercise until a Christian husband understands that Christ’s love is not to please the Church, but the Church was built to please Christ. Christ sacrifices and serves, he seeks the best for His church, but he does not spend his day trying to please the Church and meet all of the Church’s emotional baggage.

The only way that a Biblical marriage works the way God intends it to work if a husband loves and serves his wife while his wife seeks to “please her husband in everything” and be a help meet to him as God has ordained from the beginning. It is as she surrenders her emotional stubborn will to the man she says she loves and trusts the most in this whole world that she finds the peace and joy and connection with her husband that she longs for.

This approach is not psychology or marriage counseling… this is God’s design for a one-flesh marriage with a husband at the head of the marriage. This works, but more so, it’s God’s will and command.

Then a reader came along and Bibled...

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1 Corinthians 7:32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.

It’s not unbiblical to want to please your wife and it’s not unbiblical for a wife to want to please her husband. It’s part of being married. I’m sure you are concerned with pleasing her!

Ken:

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The differentiation I was trying to make is that God never commands a husband to “please his wife in everything,” but a wife is told to “submit to (please) her own husband in everything” (Eph. 5:24). I do not believe that in many marriages a husbnad can please his wife in everything because she is not pleased with herself. Her expectations and emotions too often rule her, and in these marriages, a husband should not be trying to chase down her changing desires, even as he tries to please her on the basics of the marriage.

Take home message:  

Lori doesn't like women.  Ken thinks women are emotional shrews in need of taming.    

Neither of them know how to do marriage, much less tell other people how to do it.  If there's a God, he/she probably face palms every time either one of them set foot near the computer.

[Imrlgoddess]

I have been married 2 rounds now.  I don't think I've ever sat and thought up a literal, or even physical, list of needs I must have met.  I find it odd and somewhat base for Ken to even mention that having his frozen bananas or salad dressing be on his 5-6 part list.  Is that REALLY all it takes?  I think not.  He's not a simpleton....at least I would hope that an educated working man isn't.  I would hope that needs in a marriage would include such things as:  support me in endeavors that are meaningful to me or us; bear me up when things are hard; raise children and maintain the home in tandem....but maybe I'm just looking way too deep at marriage.  Maybe I should have scaled it all back years ago, quit the job, homeschooled the girl, and fed him his favorite salad dressing and maybe...just maybe I'd still be married to the same old dude, struggling to make the same old ends meet.   

Ken just strikes me as a lazy ass who married a gold digging spoiled brat. 

[quiversR4hunting]

2 hours ago, Koala said:

Quote from Ken in Koala's post"

"I do not believe that in many marriages a husbnad can please his wife in everything because she is not pleased with herself."

Yeah, um Ken, well a woman can't please a man if he isn't please with himself. See "pleased" is subjective and I see Ken changing the rules to what is "pleased". Nobody will ever achieve it because the bar keeps moving. See what I did there, Kenny boy? Wife and husband are interchangeable. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Maybe I can put this in basketball terms for him- a team can't win the basketball game if the refs keep changing the rules during the game.

On a side note - Why, oh why do I keep reading Ken & Lori?!?!

[usmcmom]

Ken is a very insecure man. He never passes up an opportunity to remind Lori's  readers of the years of torment he lived through with his rebellious wife. He also has to make sure he gets credit for every little thing. Remember the recent recliner post, where he said "yeah you let me have a recliner but I let you buy matching couches."  Also, recall the harrowing tale of how he made soup for Lori but the pan would not fit in the fridge - or something like that. 

The exchange Koala writes about above is just another example of how he is so afraid others will get more than he. He just has to point out "yeah, but the Bible says women have to submit in EVERYTHING. Men just have to please their wives."  Of course, his argument makes no sense but that has never stopped Ken. 

Finally, we've seen many examples of how his marriage to Lori is purely transactional. He will only give something if he is guaranteed something in return. His love of consequences goes right along with this. 

Ken is a small child who is constantly on the lookout for others receiving more so he can stomp his feet and scream "That's not fair!"  I have no sympathy for Lori but no wonder she sees men as helpless creatures who are in a constant state of selfish sexual arousal. That is all Ken is. 

[onemama]

The biggest problem with Ken and Lori is that they think they're right.  It doesn't matter what you say, they think they have it down right.

The Bible doesn't support a husband deciding how much he'll please his wife. It doesn't support a husband disciplining his wife or that it's somehow more appropriate for a man to share details about his squabbles with his wife than it is for a woman to do the same thing.  But Ken thinks nothing of sharing details of how Lori failed to please him or how some other man is "in the doghouse" because his wife can't be pleased. It helps make his point, who cares if the wife reads about it and is hurt?  What happened to doing unto others as you would have them do unto you? 

But ken has it all figured out. Submission in everything means whatever he wants it to mean. So does love.

Another comment says:

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Such a beautiful and true post! It should be required reading for newlyweds! This is just my opinion, but I think that while the typical I Corinthians 13 is frequently chosen to be read at weddings, I think the verses from Romans, James and Timothy that you quote in your post should be read at weddings (or at least in the pre-marital counseling).

Really? So you don't think that understanding love and reciprocity in marriage is important?

[usmcmom]

I was lazy and just grabbed a screen shot of this part of Ken's comment. I love his passive aggressive dig about running out of bananas and salad dressing. Also, the way he assures us it was best for HER if she learned to please him in everything. What a selfish bully. 

Anybody want to try to guess Ken's "5 or 6 needs"?  He has already told us two. 

I'll go first:

sex on demand

bananas

salad dressing

basketball

pornography once or twice a month (since we know ALL MEN look at it anyway)

an "ugly" chair 

 

 

[Imrlgoddess]

10 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

Anybody want to try to guess Ken's "5 or 6 needs"?  He has already told us two. 

I'll go first:

sex on demand

bananas

salad dressing

basketball

pornography once or twice a month (since we know ALL MEN look at it anyway)

an "ugly" chair 

*sigh* Ken truly is a great and simple man. Just easy as pie to please......      

[feministxtian]

For the life of me, I STILL don't get their dynamic. Hubs and I had some really rough times, but after much WORK (and him getting sober), what it has boiled down to is that we are FRIENDS. I can honestly say (no matter how stupid it sounds), he is my best friend. We're like a couple of 12 year old boys when left to our own devices...he makes me laugh like nobody else can. He spoils me rotten (see Mustang for my birthday), and I spoil him (see complete wardrobe and car repairs). Sure, there are times when I want to get away from him, and he wants to get away from me, but at the end of the day, I can't imagine life without him.

Kenori have no clue what that's like. They wouldn't understand laughing about bodily functions, bitching about the cats, being thankful for that person I snuggle next to every night. But then again, about 4 years ago I came thisclose to losing him so his still being here and with me just means that much more. 

[desertvixen]

@Koala says:

Take home message: 
Lori doesn't like women.  Ken thinks women are emotional shrews in need of taming.    

I'd agree with this, only to add that Ken also seems to think women are all like Lori.

[polecat]

17 hours ago, usmcmom said:

snip

snip

 

 

If this were anyone but Lorken, I'd assume they were just terrible at expressing their thoughts and trying to say something like this: 

"You have to know how to find happiness within yourself because no one else can ever do enough to make you happy."

But no, this is Lorken. They mean literal stuff. So they probably really do have actual lists of things they each have to do before either of them is "happy" (like salad dressing and frozen bananas, wtf?!) You know what it takes for me? I like just being with Mr. Polecat. A fun Friday night consists of hanging on the couch, me working or reading, him playing video games or watching TV or whatever. I like to tuck my feet under his thigh as we sit there. He complains because they're cold. I do it anyway. He lets me. He cops a feel when he thinks no one is looking. I roll my eyes at him but think he's cute anyway. That, Lorken, is love. You two have never known it. I'm almost sorry for you.

[Emilycharlotte]

There is so much wrong with their relationship that it could keep a team of psychiatrists busy for years unraveling all the threads. But, Polecat, I think you you are right about one of the major issues---they just don't seem to be friends or to really enjoy each other's company.  It also seems like neither of them is truly capable of compromise---the kind where people talk and listen and try to find a win-win solution without manipulation or score-keeping. That's why they can only function in peace by having a million rules for every possible decision and situation.

I'm all for people finding what works for them, and I guess if that is what they need to do in order to get along, then that's their business. I would feel bad for them if they weren't constantly trying to drag other people down with them and blaming it on Scripture!

[feministxtian]

27 minutes ago, polecat said:

I like just being with Mr. Polecat. A fun Friday night consists of hanging on the couch, me working or reading, him playing video games or watching TV or whatever. I like to tuck my feet under his thigh as we sit there. He complains because they're cold. I do it anyway. He lets me. He cops a feel when he thinks no one is looking. I roll my eyes at him but think he's cute anyway. That, Lorken, is love. You two have never known it. I'm almost sorry for you.

Sounds like a fun Friday night at my house too! He's on the loveseat, I'm on the couch. Leia-cat is cuddled up next to him and he tells me he's cheating on me  Luke-cat is cuddled up next to me and I tell him I'm cheating on him  He reaches over and puts his hand on my leg and then tries to cop a feel. I scratch the top of his head and tell him I'm entertaining his bugs. We don't even have to talk...we're content just being together. He gets up and gets me a cup of coffee or a glass of tea without me asking him. We may or may not decide to go get ice cream in the middle of the night if we're up. We both bitch about the cats...they're a couple of rowdy fkrs! We go to bed and snuggle...he calls me his "little Cuban heater". I put my cold feet on his legs and laugh when he yells. He puts up with my geekiness and Science Channel addiction. I put up with his constant talking about coins and stamps even though I'm totally not interested in those things. 

As an aside...last Sunday at church, there was an elderly couple sitting in front of us. During the sermon, the wife cuddled in close to her husband and put her head on his shoulder. he put his arm around her and gently kissed the top of her head. I thought to myself...THAT is what I want when we're that age. THAT is love. 

Kenori will NEVER know those things...and I truly feel sorry for them. 

[Granwych]

On ‎12‎/‎17‎/‎2016 at 9:02 PM, polecat said:

Surely someone is trolling!!!! Her pastor actually said "camel toes are unholy"?!?! Good Lord, these people are freaking nuts.

From another commenter:

I guess she's using this as an example of how much her husband loves and respects her, but man, I'd be really irritated if my husband made such a damn production of NOT checking someone out. That's just ridiculous. It seems way more disrespectful to me, like, "Hey baby, that woman is smokin' hot and sexy and I so want to visually undress her and do all those nasty things that pervy Josh mentioned (in my brain, of course), but I love you so I'm going to use some self-conrol, but I wanna make sure you see me doing it, so ... " 

Not a violent woman, but I think I'd want to smack the ish outa Mr. Polecat if he pulled that nonsense.

I'm glad that Grampwych isn't so bloody smug and righteous.  I don't think he knows what "camel toes" are, but he sure as hell is too bright to ever say anything like that to me.  As for me, Gramp can look all he likes at whatever he likes.  (Children excepted, of course!)  

I can't believe that Lori continues to write such stupidity.  Actually, I can, it's her readership that confounds me.

...Ken and (frozen)bananas.   My damn mind just automatically goes to the gutter with Lorken.  Although my nurse's training says that cold is good for combatting swelling.

[feministxtian]

56 minutes ago, Granwych said:

As for me, Gramp can look all he likes at whatever he likes.

He can look all he wants...he touches and I'll be performing an at home amputation

[Imrlgoddess]

She's back on her "weaker vessel" soap box today and there are some awesome comments going on.  It still irks the crap out of me and as much as I'd love to comment or "like" one of those posted, I'm careful not to.  It amazes me to no end that neither she nor her husband will acknowledge such facts as:  the pain levels a woman feels during childbirth, or that women are physically designed differently, not necessarily less strong.  Yes, we are a compliment to the male version of our species but not literally weaker.  There is the requisite patter of "I've worked as a ____ for X number of years and never seen a woman do the job".  No one will step up and lay it out that for all those years, women weren't encouraged and in some cases, allowed, to try those jobs.  I've watched women slowly work their way into those positions in the oil field here and lo n'behold, no one is suffering because of it. 

[Colby]

Fred Lusk "In all of my 46 years working in machine shops, I've never seen a woman machinist let alone a tool and die maker. Machine operators yes but not an all around machinist. For some reason, their brains are not wired for that job."

 

BillandKristina Leyder "Fred my hubby is a machist as well and he has said the same thing. The shop he is currently working for hired a woman and unfortunately because of a lack of wisdom from those in management she ended up getting very badly injured. It was very sad."

.....some of Lori's Facebook followers......

[feministxtian]

2 minutes ago, Colby said:

I've never seen a woman machinist let alone a tool and die maker.

I was the only girl in my machine shop class in college. I got the only A in the class too...I was offered a job as a trainee machinist after that class...I didn't take it b/c I wanted to finish my design degree and I was already obligated to the employer who was paying my way thru school. 

[ViolaSebastian]

No way, guys, our little lady brain can't handle big scary machines! We're just not designed for that! It couldn't possibly be that we're socialized to not pursue jobs involving machines. And it REALLY couldn't be because more and more women are pursuing higher education and not doing manufacturing work. I mean, look at how the allies lost World War II because lady brains couldn't handle stepping up and doing stuff with machines. Oh no, it's our tiny, senseless female noggins. Boy, am I glad that Fred is on Facebook to set me straight. 

[Koala]

It really all boils down to this:

Men= Strong, godly leaders.

Women= Weak, easily deceived, and difficult. 

No thanks.  I believe I'll pass.

[ViolaSebastian]

Has the weaker vessel post disappeared on Facebook for anyone else?

[onemama]

8 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Has the weaker vessel post disappeared on Facebook for anyone else?

It's still there. There's another one of her handwritten notes on submission up now, too.  I think Lori really wants to go viral.

[onemama]

Sorry, I can't post this on Facebook or my friends and family might feel I need an intervention.

This whole weaker vessel business is infuriating.  Listen, Lori.

- the verse you are getting your ideas from does not call us "the weaker sex", 1 Peter 3:7, in your favorite version says thus:  Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

The apostle had turned to the husbands and was telling them how to treat their wives.  Weaker vessel is in the context of giving honor, not of subjugating, leading, dominating, or anything else along those lines. Oh, and this honoring was crucial to their spiritual life. No longer were they allowed to mistreat or dishonor their wives, not if they wanted their prayers to be heard.

The apostle didn't tell the wives "now, see to it that you stay weak, as the weaker sex that you were made to be". 

Lori has a way of turning every single bit of scripture into a weapon against her very own sisters.  She is sounding more and more like her mentor, Mrs. Pearl.