Bates Family Part 14 - Party in Pink

[PennySycamore]

I suppose this is a good place to put this because Erin Bates had said that she wouldn't go to a secular college as she might have to sit next to someone who had green hair.  Last night, I was at a Spinx gas station in Spartanburg, SC with my daughter and we noticed a young woman with green hair putting gas in her car.  My daughter said "She must by a USC Upstate student!"  There has been a rash of kids from the college who've died this year, like 4 or 5 in one car crash.  Some of the other kids, and faculty too, are dying their hair green  in their memory.  I think that's beautiful!

[JillyO]

12 hours ago, eclairaupistache said:

Michael is probably half way through her first pregnancy right now, and Alyssa is probably pregnant with nr 2. so all the married bates children are could be expecting right now!

 

I highly doubt that. Michael has repeatedly replied to questions on her Instagram with a very direct "I am not pregnant at this time." I know they don't take the whole telling the truth thing very seriously, but lying so absolutely bluntly would just be stupid, especially when she didn't HAVE to answer (it was just comments on her Instagram, after all, not an interview or a talking head where you kind of have to say something). No, if she were pregnant and knew about it, she either wouldn't have answered at all or she would have said something a la Jessa Seewald's "we have nothing to report right now."

4 hours ago, socalrules said:

Those two are hot to trot for each other. It is nice to see. I would not be surprised if they were kissing already. Didn't in an earlier episode Nathan and Lawson drove back to Tennessee from New York with Ashley and no one else? I wouldn't doubt there might have been some kissing going on and Lawson just didn't say anything. 

Ashley has a lot of spirit and opinions. I hope she doesn't lose that. She so obviously loves New York, I worry she will be bored in a small town. It is nice to watch a courtship where the people seem to actually be into each other. the Duggar courtships always make me think that if they weren't fundies, these people would end up getting divorced. Although, the Bates' version of courtship is really just dating without the kissing (allegedly). It's nice to not see a ten year old sitting between them and a parent not getting all stressed out over a hug. 

Really? You think it's normal dating practice that your parents are their when you ask the other person (not to mention Nathan had to ask her parents first, even if it wasn't shown on the show - it wasn't, was it?)? You think it's normal that a a sibling always has to travel with Nathan or Ashley because they can't be trusted to be alone? You think it's normal that Nathan's parents reserve the right to read their private texts at any time? The Bateses rules may be somewhat more lax than the Duggars' (after the disaster that was Zach's first courtship), but it is a far cry from normal dating. It is still controlling as fuck for goddamn ADULTS.

[TuringMachine]

I still don't quite get what it means for the Bates to be in a courtship. I mean Nathan already referred to her as his girlfriend so what's different now?

[iweartanktops]

21 minutes ago, TuringMachine said:

I still don't quite get what it means for the Bates to be in a courtship. I mean Nathan already referred to her as his girlfriend so what's different now?

They were probably already courting, but staged this for the show. 

[Kittikatz]

@catlady I would appreciate it if you could sent me the link to the store as well - there is no such thing here, and I'm suffering serious crinoline envy

I have never heard of smashcakes before, so this has been educational. Here, cakes are frequently home made or just from a grocery store, and the stores aren't giving away free cakes to any one, so I dont think many people would make or buy a cake destined for nothing but complete annihilation, but to each their own, and it sounds like the birthday girl had a good time.

I've never had a birthday party, but weirdly, this thread does kind of make me want one. I don't know how I can make it happen, but I think my next birthday should involve some combination of tutus, tequila, cat eared headbands and robotic cat tails (a girl can dream), complimented by large quantities of special brownies (the kind that could smash the attendees). Smashcake optional, but discouraged as it may be required for the inevitable munchies... 

I'm with many people here in liking bright, saturated colours. My house looks like a national geographic exploded (or an anthropologist decorated it), and is full of brightly coloured world art and kitch. Not a greige wall or pastel anything in the place, which makes me happy (I grew up in a house full of nothing but greige and pastel blue, and I still hate those colours).

[catlady]

1 hour ago, Kittikatz said:

@catlady I would appreciate it if you could sent me the link to the store as well - there is no such thing here, and I'm suffering serious crinoline envy

 

 

 

hi Kittikatz! i'm sending you a PM.

your party idea sounds like tons of fun (mmm...brownies!!!  haha), and your house must look fabulous!  i've known several people over the years who actually say they like white walls; i just don't get it.

[bucherwurm]

I watched the episode last night. I was happy to see the physical connection between the couple, but it seems silly to have an official courtship, since they were saying I love you, referring to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend. They obviously weren't just friends or in a "get to know you" relationship. I would think they wouldn't have touched much at all if these two were serious about the difference between courting and dating. Especially since she thought maybe he was going to propose engagement. I thought it was kind of mean to string her along knowing that that thought was in her mind.

[twinmama]

On 4/9/2016 at 11:00 PM, GoneDownTheRabbitHole said:

I'm not knowledgeable on this, but when would Alyssa be expected to be pregnant again if she is not using birth control after having her daughter a year ago? I've met people with age gaps of about a year, but was wondering how common that may be. I'd be curious to know if she will actively prevent conception.

You just can't tell. People can get pregnant on their first month the first time and encounter secondary infertility after that child. Back before widespread birth control, not all families were 15+ kids, some just had one or two really fast and never got pregnant again for whatever reason.

[Emkay]

1 hour ago, twinmama said:

You just can't tell. People can get pregnant on their first month the first time and encounter secondary infertility after that child. Back before widespread birth control, not all families were 15+ kids, some just had one or two really fast and never got pregnant again for whatever reason.

A friend of mine is pregnant with number two. Her little boy (who she breastfed) will be just over two when baby no. 2 arrives, and she said her period never returned in between the two (second was planned). 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

2 hours ago, twinmama said:

You just can't tell. People can get pregnant on their first month the first time and encounter secondary infertility after that child. Back before widespread birth control, not all families were 15+ kids, some just had one or two really fast and never got pregnant again for whatever reason.

This happened to my cousin and his now wife. Unexpected pregnancy when they were only 18, in the summer after they'd graduated high school and had been together for about 4 months. They got married about 4 years later.....and decided to have another couple of kids, assuming it would be super easy for them since they got pregnant without even trying the first time......it then took them ten years to conceive their second child and not from a lack of trying. Their second child was born a couple of days after their oldest turned 15. My cousin's wife actually went into labor at the oldest's quinceañera party. 

Doctors were completely baffled by their infertility. They did all the tests and there was nothing that 'should' have been causing it....they just couldn't seem to get pregnant for almost a decade. No logical explanation, it just....didn't happen. In fact, while they were not doing anything to prevent a pregnancy, they'd actually giving up actively trying when they got pregnant the second time, assuming it just 'wasn't meant to be'. 

(I now get the impression they somewhat regret going back to the baby/toddler stage when they were basically 'done' with child raising and their oldest being so close to being an adult....but that's another discussion for another time). 

 

[elliha]

In the old days it was pretty common to have a child every other year during your most fertile years but as everything this is highly individual. As Alyssa does not seem to have been breastfeeding very long it is not unlikely that she would get pregnant now or pretty soon if she is not protecting herself. Say 6 months before her period returned, perhaps not as frequent "activity" due to a small kid being tiresome giving her a couple extra months and then it taking a couple months to be pregnant would add up to about a year which is Allie's current age. 

If you breastfeed child-led and frequently you can have longer periods of menarche but given Alyssa's young age and the fact that she is not still seen frequently breastfeeding Allie I would not count on her being in this group. 

About the times before birth control and not having 15 kids. It is true that not everyone had huge families but that does not mean that they never tried to avoid pregnancy. It was common to practice abstinence, coitus interruptus, alternative ways of having sex, some women did have an understanding of when they were the most fertile and might have avoided sex around this time and there was also abortion. Although often not legal and safe, they were effective enough for many women to have them, survive, and even have them several times. My very religious great-grand mother on my father's side had two children fast after they got married about 2 years apart and then a long period of no babies and no late enough miscarriages to register in the church books at least and then she had 3 three more kids about 2 years apart again and then no more. It is interesting that this "child-free" space in the middle happened when they were busy setting up a shop and working hard with that so I am almost certain they must have actively tried to have this space. 

Of course people suffered infertility back then but most small families were probably at least to a part created by the parents themselves.

[HereticHick]

Am I seeing things, or is Carlin's red bra strap showing in this professional photo?  (she looks gorgeous by the way)

Today is also little Allie Jane's 1st birthday. [Central Florida, the level of hot pink glitter in the air may reach dangerous levels today, so stay indoors ] Congrats to Allie Jane for reaching 1 year without an announced sibling on the way.

 

 

[nausicaa]

34 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Today is also little Allie Jane's 1st birthday. [Central Florida, the level of hot pink glitter in the air may reach dangerous levels today, so stay indoors ] 

 

[19 cats and counting]

I can't get over how close Carlin's first and middle name is to mine.  I know Carlin is a form of my name (as said by Kelly on her blog) but I never realized that her middle name was similar to mine either.

(I'll give hints about my name--- my first name is a part of a very famous Neil Diamond song and my middle name is a last name, one shared by a famous basketball player).

[THERetroGamerNY]

I can't get over how close Carlin's first and middle name is to mine.  I know Carlin is a form of my name (as said by Kelly on her blog) but I never realized that her middle name was similar to mine either.

They're trying to lure you in. Next a Bates girl will bake a cake, put your name on it, and those two creepy twin girls from The Shining will be on the show calling out to you to "join them".

I would advise caution.

[19 cats and counting]

One other thing about Carlin's birthday.  It means there's another kid old enough for Gil and Kelly to marry off.

[Kelsey]

According to his Twitter, Lawson might have something on the horizon. Sorry, I don't know how to do the screen cap thing.

On April 7th, he wrote:

Lawson Bates ‏@lawbates  Apr 7

Lawson Bates Retweeted Riley Taylor-Peyton

Nope, not for too long. #BringingUpBates

Lawson Bates added,

Riley Taylor-Peyton @rileygirl96

Do you think you'll always be the "loneranger" of your bunch ??? @lawbates

 

Is there a clearance sale on the Bates kids or something?

[hollywood]

I'm still rooting for Carlin to break away, or at least be like Alyssa and marry a man who lets her wear pants

[iweartanktops]

Just now, hollywood said:

I'm still rooting for Carlin to break away, or at least be like Alyssa and marry a man who lets her wear pants

But pants have nothing to do with their terrible beliefs. 

[19 cats and counting]

12 minutes ago, Kelsey said:

Is there a clearance sale on the Bates kids or something?

That line cracked me up.

Seriously though, from what I know of Lawson, he's in love.  With himself.

[iweartanktops]

There are many women in IBLP that wear pants. 

[THERetroGamerNY]

Yeah, the pants/skirts thing in IBLP always kinda gets confused. I can see why...

Um... Think of it this way... Skirts are the "preferred" dress. Because feminine, modest, and cute.

But there is zero scripture for even Gothard to twist, so some just wear pants.

[twinmama]

1 hour ago, THERetroGamerNY said:

Yeah, the pants/skirts thing in IBLP always kinda gets confused. I can see why...

Um... Think of it this way... Skirts are the "preferred" dress. Because feminine, modest, and cute.

But there is zero scripture for even Gothard to twist, so some just wear pants.

I mean according to bibley movies (where I get my knowledge), even the men were wearing dresses back then so it's not like the fashion rules are very biblically based.

[THERetroGamerNY]

1 hour ago, twinmama said:

I mean according to bibley movies (where I get my knowledge), even the men were wearing dresses back then so it's not like the fashion rules are very biblically based.

Basically, yeah. lol

Classical Greek dress was basically a bedsheet cinched at the waist. Not even kidding.

But, I understand why peeps like @hollywood can get focused on the whole skirt thing, and what exactly is going on with it... And then incorrectly conclude that skirts are a major factor. They aren't as big as can be perceived... Kinda like if you baked a cake full of poison. You can put any sort of frosting on it, still the same cake underneath.

Also, it's important to remember that in these circles it is almost always women who enforce, apply guilt, or otherwise convince other women to do such things.

(Please note that these are my personal understandings and experiences. I'm sure there are exceptions. Notable other commentators on Quiverfull have also made the same conclusion though.)

It's a whole Titus 2 thing basically... Women guilting other women on how to avoid being harlots. :/

I rather just assume that Kelly Bates defines modesty for all her girls. *shrug* Just a guess though.

A recent example is how Jessa Duggar "gave testimony" to other women on how to dress modestly.

She's not just doing this to be some sort of modest fashionista. She is using her fame to exert influence and spread a message. The word "testimony" is used so that you know she is a woman speaking of God. She has an agenda.

But, again: The hemlines might've risen; Michelle Duggar looks a lot less like a deflated clown; Jinger wore pants; all that other stuff.

Just modesty window dressing on the same damaging belief system.

[19 cats and counting]

I think Kelly defines modesty for her daughters (until marriage) but not her sons.

She's the one who posted that rather defrauding pic of Lawson and Nathan (especially the latter, who looked like he was entering a wet t-shirt contest) right?  One look at that pic and Ashley knows exactly what she's in for.

(The pics are in the Waller thread if anyone wants to see-- IIRC they were posted today).