Bates Family Part 14 - Party in Pink

[HereticHick]

2 hours ago, EmainMacha said:

I have 70+ first cousins and 50+ had been born before I was. I grew up loving my huge extended family but looking at it now I can see how growing up in big families had some negative impact for my parents, and even more so for some of their siblings. My mother, who was an oldest girl, thinks the Bates and Duggars are 'ridiculous' and 'eejits' for having that many children. 

 

I'm curious-- did your grandparents actually give individual birthday/holiday gifts to their dozens of grandkids? I only have 10 cousins, so I always wonder how the logistics & economics of giftgiving works in such supersized families. 

[Graceshepard]

On 6 April 2016 at 8:07 PM, VelociRapture said:

See, I'm not that impressed by what John said. To me it just sounds like a nicer version of what Gil and JimBob used to say - that they let their wives decide.

He could be completely genuine in saying that, but it's one of those things where you can't know if it's genuine or not until it's happened.

He's certainly not as fundamental as the Bates family and Alyssa's dress style has become less fun die, so I'm still hopeful that John is different to Gil and Jim Bob

19 hours ago, 19 cats and counting said:

Wait until Erin's daughter is born.  We saw what she did with the marital bedroom, now imagine what happens when there's a little girl.

Brooklyn's headflowers will put Allie's to shame.

Oh dear, I can't stand to see another fun die headband

[VelociRapture]

1 minute ago, Graceshepard said:

He's certainly not as fundamental as the Bates family and Alyssa's dress style has become less fun die, so I'm still hopeful that John is different to Gil and Jim Bob

It's been explained multiple times before now - IBLP has no mandatory dress code for all their adherents to follow at all times. There are standards for official events and those who work for the organization I believe, but not for everyday life. 

Some of the followers - such as the Bates and Duggars - follow stricter standards then other families do. The Webster family allows the women to wear pants - as such they don't seem to follow the stricter "skirts/dresses only" standards, and it seems that the Salyer family does not either.

This does not make them less Fundie by any means. They have the same horrid beliefs, just packaged in a nicer and more modern look. 

As for John, we know next to nothing about him because he appears to be relatively private (which is fine - he should be able to keep things private if he wants to.) I personally believe what people show me from their actions - and I personally have not seen anything to indicate he isn't just as Fundie as his parents, in-laws, or the Duggars. 

[19 cats and counting]

1 hour ago, Graceshepard said:

A shameless grifter indeed. I wonder if any of the kids will follow suit. So far none of the married couples have shown any inclination towards a grifting lifestyle, however, if I had to bet, I'd say Nathan is most likely to become a grifter.

Just curious, what makes you think that Nathan is going to become a grifter?  Has he shown any indication of it?  As far as I know he works for the tree business and is in school.  His girlfriend is also in school.

If anything, I doubt the older kids (Nathan included) would grift simply because they watched their parents do so and were probably embarrassed by it.  Remember the episode where the Duggars did their addition and Gil and JB were grifting for all of the building supplies?

[twinmama]

On 4/6/2016 at 2:11 PM, Fundie Bunny said:

I have 17 first cousins, and we are anything but fundie. It really isn't that big of a deal

I could not even count my husband's first cousins, his parents have 5 and 6 siblings each who all have kids, plus a stepmom with 4 nieces/nephews. Not fundie, just Catholic and I don't think any of them even has more than 4 kids. My own kids have 1 cousin and he is a newborn. I don't really count the numbers as meaning much about the family until you hit Bates/Duggar levels in one family.

[withaj]

I only have 4 first cousins -- 1 on one side and 3, all 10-20 years older, on the other.

My father and his two siblings, born between 1940-1945, had no first cousins at all, which was pretty rare at the time. Their mother was an only child and their father had one brother who married but had no children.

My mother and her sister had/have around 25 first cousins, but all of them were on one side. Their father was one of 10 siblings (2 half, 8 full).

[Snarkle]

My mom is one of five (her mother was one of nine), but my dad is an only child.  There were only ten grandchildren on my mom's side, so I only had eight cousins total, only a few who were close in age to my brother and I and who lived close enough to visit.  So when I see people where I live with huge families where they hang out with their cousins as friends, it's hard for me to relate.  My dad's entire family could fit around one extended dinner table at holidays if we wanted.  My son is an only child and only has four cousins total - two on each side.  I do hope he partners up with someone who has several siblings so he has an extended family, but then again, just because a family is large doesn't mean it's close.

Also, speaking of the ages of Bates kids - while the older Bates (and Duggar for that matter) kids carry the parental burden of their younger siblings until they leave and cleave, on the other hand, by the time the youngest have kids of their own, will the grandparents have the capacity to do as much for the youngest dozen or so cousins?  Those babies 20-some years down the line will not get the UP/TLC attention and bounty of gifts.  When they showed Kelly on her shopping spree for first-born-grandchild Bradley's first birthday (for those who didn't watch the total at a kid's thrift store was around $185), I thought, how on earth could that ever continue for future grandkids?  It's one thing to do a gift swap for the holidays, but is every new grandchild going to be showered with gifts?  Why set a precedence?

[19 cats and counting]

I wonder if they'll be spoiled by all of their aunts/uncles.  By the the two little boys are ready to have kids, some couples (hopefully) will be past their baby years and will be ready to pass on the baby stuff. 

My two nieces are spoiled by Aunt 19 Cats and Counting.  

[catlady]

3 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I've got eleventy but you have 100% more relationship with yours than I do with mine...I haven't spoken to any in 20+ years and you've got one right in the house!

I see people with the close extended families and it seems like some impossible feat that people better than me can accomplish.  

 

well, yes and no.  even among the 7 of us (my number was off in the OP, i counted my sister as a cousin), we're not all close. my sister and i have a pretty ordinary relationship.  one cousin has issues with her mom and has bonded more tightly with her in-laws throughout her adulthood; i've seen her once in the past 10 years.  another fought a lot with his parents some 20 years ago, moved out of state, and although they reconciled, he sees the rest of us only sporadically.  his sister is very nice, and we manage to get together every couple of months. the sister of the first one mentioned is a lazy self-absorbed ambitionless loser who has no tact, class, or awareness of other people's feelings (terrible to say, but true); i literally screen her calls and avoid her whenever possible.  the fifth one is the one who has lived with me for about 2 years; i've talked about him on some other threads--he's deaf and disabled from prenatal rubella.    now that we've had the chance to get to know each other, i've learned that he's a really nice guy who just wants to be friends with everyone (he had no father figure, and he's been really drawn to Mr. CL).

i guess statistically, if there were 20 or 30 of us, there'd be greater chance of having more common interests with more of them.  but again, since i'm used to small numbers, it's kind of hard to wrap my head around the concept.  still rather interesting...

 

[VelociRapture]

Welcome back my lovelies. Tonight brings another round of. . .

"The Dinosaur Watches BUB: The Big Apple of Nathan's Eye"

Or, as I shall refer to it from now on - Why The Fuck Are They So Close To Me Right Now?!

Part 1:

Opening Credits run. Still creepy as fuck. Especially when Gil comes flying towards the camera at the end.

Nathan talking about being together with Ashley for a few months and how he really wants to bone move forward with her. He talks about going to visit her to ask about starting a courtship - and he plans to bring some cowboy boots with him as a gift for her. Most people do jewelry for a courtship gift, but Nathan wanted to do something totally douche baggy by reminding her she is a total outsider in Tennessee and needs to change who she is to make this work... or something. I'm a bit hazy on his actual reasoning.

THs with some of the kids talking about good courtship gifts. Callie is very adamant that everyone should get a golden rose petal like Brandon got Michael. Middle Boy Number One talks about the boots and Ashley being a Northern girl.

The Sales Woman gives him advice on what to say when he gives her the boots.

Kelly explains the difference between courting and dating for the millionth time. Seriously Kelly - we get it. Shut your trap and go do some actual parenting for once; I'm sure Tori and Carlin would appreciate a break once in a while.

<Insert lame Gil joke about boot here>

Back at the house now. . .

Lawson and Nathan are packing. Nathan asks for fashion advice - Lawson says classy, but not dressy. And that you can wear a sweater - no shit Sherlock. Nathan insists on going full on country. Lawson says you should adapt to your environment; Nathan says you should change your environment. Good luck with that - obviously you don't understand how stubborn us Northerners can be.

Carlin is sad she can't go. Erin is excited. Carson is going too - jury is out on how excited he is.

Nathan goes over his plan. Blah, blah, blah, ice skating, blah, blah, earrings, blah.

Lawson says the earrings are why he isn't in a relationship - money, money, money.

 Nathan TH - always a concern that maybe Ashley will take this more seriously than its meant and thinks he is about to propose. . . but how can you propose without courting first?!?!

Cut to commercials.

[JordynDarby5]

My mom grew up with tons of cousins on her dad's side that she was close to growing up. But when her dad died it pretty much stopped. She rarely hears from them anymore and still talks about how abandoned she felt by them. With my brother and I we grew up naturally close to our four cousins who lived in town or close to it and none of us were really close to the four who lived in a different state. But ironically now that we're all growned up my brother and I are more close to the ones who lived in a different state then the ones nearby. We have more in common and see each other more, and one of them has been really helpful with medical issues.

My nephew finally has a cousin on his mom's side who's also a boy. I'm glad he does have a cousin to play and grow up with.  Thanks to medical issues theirs little chance on my end he was going to get a cousin from me.

 

 

[VelociRapture]

Why The Fuck Part 2

They're there all of two seconds and the parents already want to go back home. Which is funny because I'm only two seconds into the episode and I want them to leave too!

Nathan explains what the Bronx is. Its not the most touristy part, lots of working class people. They hear sirens - Gil says that's the sound he was expecting to hear in the city. I'm sitting here with my dog hoping that the Police are rushing to arrest Gil for being a jackass who conceals sexual assault. Alas, it's not meant to be and they arrive safely at the Salyer house.

They greet Ashley's mom. Her dad works in Corrections and they have a daycare. Have the same standards and goals as the Bates  - such a glowing endorsement.

Really Nathan?! You REALLY didn't anticipate NY traffic?!

Everyone works together to make posters and pictures to hang on the walls to surprise Ashley when she walks in. Prominent shot of the kissing ducks   - Nike!

Ashley arrives. Everyone is trying to tell Nathan what to do. Ashley enters - her suspicions that Nathan was coming to visit were correct. I feel defrauded by that hug she just gave him. Ashley is super excited to see everyone.

Ashley's First TH - She has suspicions, but was legitimately surprised. Didn't expect Nathan's parents or Erin or Lawson to be there. Seeing the families come together is exciting.

<Insert generic praying scene here>

Damn. . . girlfriend really does talk fast doesn't she?

Talk about what they're going to do the next day. Ashley suggests Chinatown and Statue of Liberty - Kelly is excited about Chinatown. Bates clan leaves for the night.

Commercials.

Why The Fuck Part 3

TH with Ashley and Nathan. . . with Lawson sitting in between them. Talking about how crowded it is in the City.

They did a water taxi tour. Nathan gets adorkably excited seeing the Statue of Liberty. Ashley has to explain what The Village is - full of Hippies apparently.

Josie says Nathan will be who he is no matter where he is - he doesn't mind standing out a little. Nathan says it was romantic.

Kelly asks id Chintaown is indoors - its not. Yeah rain! Lawson says its like walking into another culture - I want to slam my head against a wall. They watch the Chefs making noodles. Erin says he was very talented, it was almost like an art. Erin suggests they give it a shot - Ashley goes with her. Says its good bonding time with her and she wants to get to know her better. Erin actually doesn't do too badly.

Ashley, "I got too excited and I broke it!" -> Things not to say on your wedding night.

Erin says its tough for them to try new things sometimes, especially if its not American - but it was delicious.

Apparently its freezing cold and rainy - so Ashley wants ice cream. Southerners are a bit perplexed - lightweights. Ice cream is ALWAYS a good life choice!

Lawson talks with the sister about getting Ashley's bags packed so they can kidnap take her to Tennessee for Christmas.

Commercials.

[VelociRapture]

Why The Fuck Part 4

Shots of the city. It's the big day y'all!

There is some pre-courting hand holding going on guys. I'm starting to think this episode is actually just a porno for Fundies or something. Ashley mentions that her parents went on a buggy ride before they got engaged. Ride is through Central Park - it costs $100. Lawson says that for some reason they didn't want him to share that moment with him.

Kelly says they weren't worried about watching them because they're in the city and there are a ton of people around. And, you know, a cameraman. Little details.

Nathan says it would be awesome to kick all the people out of the park and turn it into a farm. Ashley says no - she likes it the way it is because she feels like she's in the real world (ha!) She says she could use some elbow room though when he asks about living in the country. As long as she can be relatively close to a shopping mall.

Pretty sure I've seen that Saxophone player before. Ashley makes comment about how she thought Nathan was about to get down on one knee to propose. Everywhere in the city is romantic and she wants to just enjoy things as they happen.

They race up the stairs. Ashley actually does really well running in a jean skirt - they reach the top at pretty much the same time. Buggy driver, Joe, takes them to another part of the park and they have a random girl take a picture of them on a bridge together. Its actually kind of a cute picture. Joe is watching them. Closely. Very closely.

More commercials.

Why the Fuck Part 4

Ashley TH - she says that Joe is going to tell on them for jokingly ducking behind a blanket for privacy.

They get back to their families. Nathan says the carriage was one of the most special moments he's had with Ashley. Ashley gets emotional. Lawson is in between them looking awkward. Get used to it buddy - this is probably going to be your job from now on.

Nathan says Ashley mentioned one of her favorite foods to eat is crepes. They find a crepe stand and get some. Nathan describes them as a flat pancake.

They FINALLY get to the ice skating rink. Kelly points out to him that it isn't really romantic inside - Nathan should ask her outside where there is more room. Ashley is skating backwards - she pleads with him not to let her skate into anyone. He immediately skates her into a mom and her kid. Dumbass.

She says Nathan has a risk taking personality and skating is one of those times she tends to be more cautious. Lawson skates out to a blue cone and leaves the gift bag - if it wasn't for the festive gift bag it would have looked like a drug deal or something. Nathan and Ashley stop at the bag. Nathan says he isn't good at talking. Says he loves her a lot and got her something to help her fit into his culture a bit better. He has to get down on one knee in order to get the box. Ashley laughs at the boots - says he converted her.

Nathan makes sure to say the jewelry isn't a ring. He asks if she's ok with courting - she says of course. Lawson congratulates them as the family skates over. Nathan tells her that the have a ticket to Tennessee for her so she can spend the holiday with them. Ashley is just excited she didn't have to pack and someone did it for her.

Damn they hug A LOT!

Commercials.

 

[VelociRapture]

Why the Fuck Part Five

Back in Tennessee. Kelly, Gil, and Erin flew home earlier to set up for a party. Nathan, Lawson, and Ashley flew home later. The Websters and Keilens magically appear and surprise the kids. Nathan and Lawson couldn't even fucking function when they saw  them there.

Bradley has a little hair flip going on. Allie Jane has another gigantic flower headband. Carson is just chilling.

Ashley hugs everyone and does not stop talking. If she had a Southern accent she'd fit in perfectly.

Gil TH about how the kids growing up and getting married happens so fast. Wakes you up to using every opportunity to be together.

Zachney is doing a SEX reveal. They have a box they gave to Kelly - when she opens it up there will be balloons inside. Blue means boy, pink means girl, and green means Dinosaur. They take votes on who thinks what sex.

Kelly opens it. Balloons are pink. Oh joy. I swear, we should all just buy stock in those flower headband companies now.

Zach says they have a lot to look forward to in 2016 - maybe more weddings. Personally, I'm hoping for their show to get cancelled. But that's just me.

Gil says they're going to love God and love everyone (except the Gays of course) and not take a day for granted.

End of episode.

Honorable Mention - Ashley's lipstick. You rock that Harlot Red shit girl!

[justmy2cents]

@VelociRapture I have to hand it to you, great job on the recaps. Couldn't find a hand clapping emoticon.

[infooverload]

@VelociRapture your recaps are comedic gold. I don't have cable so I haven't seen any of the episodes. Plus must be nice to have a flexible work schedule to travel.

[justmy2cents]

I'm watching the rerun right now.  My DVR crapped out on me today and I wanted to see the last American Idol episode.  Wow on the hand holding before even an official courtship, and the I love yous. Either they've loosened up a bit or it's because Nathan's a guy and the girl's family makes the rules.  Good for them though.  Much more natural than staring at each other longingly stupidly and walking 2 feet apart.

[Snarkle]

1 minute ago, justmy2cents said:

Good for them though.  Much more natural than staring at each other longingly stupidly and walking 2 feet apart.

Amen to that.  Better to actually front hug and show some real affection than that super creepy handsex Anna and Josh had (they were on their way to hand blisters by the time they finally got married).

And Ashley, it's not a "buggy ride" it's a "carriage ride."  Considering you're the New Yorker...

[GreyhoundFan]

1 hour ago, VelociRapture said:

Ashley, "I got too excited and I broke it!" -> Things not to say on your wedding night.

 

Thank you so much -- this line made me laugh at the end of a really crappy day!

Lawson's whining about not being able to go on the carriage ride made me think of a three year old having a fit at Walmart because they were denied a cookie. Grow up, dude.

I love your recaps of the strangeness that is BUB.

[OyToTheVey]

I have to admit tho. Don't shoot me but as an only child watching tonight's episode made me kinda want a bunch of siblings. I mean I wouldn't want to grow up in a cult and I know not all siblings get along but the Bates seem to actually like each other.

[justmy2cents]

I've been to that creperie and it's really yummy.  I introduced my good friend to her husband there.  Makes me miss NYC.

[Exjw2015deed]

@VelociRapture can I buy you a virtual drink or something!! Your recaps are gold!!   

[OyToTheVey]

On April 6, 2016 at 10:29 AM, ophelia said:

Same here. I have to admit that I love tutus. It would be my dream birthday to wear a tutu, smash a cake and get drunk while doing all this. Maybe this year...

I'm 32 and give me a cake to smash, a bright ass tutu and am open bar and I'm good to go. 

[VelociRapture]

You are welcome one and all. I figured someone needed to recap for our international friends - and considering I'm half insane already it might as well be me. 

[mango_fandango]

Yeah, I only have four first cousins. All boys. I was the only grandchild for nearly four years, then my brother came along and we were the only ones until my first cousin was born four years after my brother. I remember hearing kids at primary school talk about how they had older cousins and I found it so odd, because I just wasn't used to it. My parents were *fairly* young compared to parents of other kids. (By fairly I mean Mum was 27 when she had me). 

Oooh and gimme a smash cake. Om nom nom. 

@OyToTheVey I understand where you're coming from. Sometimes I wish I had a sister. Also, with so many siblings, I guess you'd always have at least one you're particularly close to. And if they're being horrible, you can go to someone else.