Preparing daughters FAQ. OMG!!

[marysue]

Hello everyone!! I ve been lurking for ages and it s nice to be finally registered!

I have just come across this page: preparingdaughters.com/daughters-board-faq.html and, although it just contains the all familiar Maxwell craziness, I was taken apart by the contempting tone, especially as it is signed by Sarah. I know that she must be submissive to dad's ideas and all, but she seems a gentle person and I actually believe that the whole thing was writen by Steve.

Here are some quotes. I hope this hasn't been posted before!

As Christian young ladies we are called to speak the truth in love. If we feel a post will not build up and encourage, we will not approve it for posting. If you would like to know why a post was deleted, feel free to write us, but understand, we won’t be drawn into argument

— No sports

Yes, we know this is a tough subject! We desire to encourage young ladies in the Lord, and do not feel that sports would be edifying. Sports draw a girl's heart outside her home and into a "team" of others. Some may say that they play sports because it is good exercise. We would encourage you instead to exercise with your siblings - what a wonderful way to build your relationship with them. Also, a long this line, we won't be discussing any types of dancing, gymnastics, and that sort of thing.

Following is a list of topics that we will not allow:

— Links to any web-site that uses Yahoo, Geocities, Homestead, Tripod and AOL. We so strongly disagree with some of the material they allow on their lists and those who have access to them, that we won’t approve sites that use them.

— Dating

We will not approve posts encouraging or promoting dating. BUT, courtship is a welcome topic! :-) Maybe you could share how the Lord brought this conviction to you, how the Lord has worked in your life on being content, etc.

— Romance Novels

We will not approve posts having to do with any Christian/secular romance novels. We feel strongly about the potential damage this can do to a young lady's thoughts, and so we will not be allowing discussion of these books.

— Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter

We also do not approve posts that talk about the book or movie, Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter.

— TV

We will not approve any posts that mention or talk about TV except in a negative manner.

— Trivial questions

What instruments do you play? What are your favorite school subjects? What is your favorite color, food, etc?

[slh12280]

I always hate when people get going on women not playing any type of sports. What is the problem with that?? I don't think that God would have anything bad to say about that. They would have loved me. I did cross country running and rock climbing in high school, I must be a man now :shock:

[prairiemuffin]

Yeesh. If playing sports is that bad, I'm sure cheerleading is a path straight to fire and brimstone. Not only are you on an evil team, you're looking at TEH MEN. Plus the uniforms-OMGZ!

......

Now I'm wondering what fundie cheerleaders would wear.

[contrary]

does that mean NO trivial questions? you can't ask what instrument somebody plays?

i've been around these blogs enough to not be surprised by anything, but lordy me, how constraining.

[Austin]

I always hate when people get going on women not playing any type of sports. What is the problem with that?? I don't think that God would have anything bad to say about that. They would have loved me. I did cross country running and rock climbing in high school, I must be a man now :shock:

Study after study has shown that girls/women involved in sports/athletics tend to have better self-esteem and do better in school/life. In other words, sports tend to empower girls/women. The fundies certainly can't be having any of that. :roll:

[VodouDoll]

Now I'm wondering what fundie cheerleaders would wear.

My junior year of high school a Baptist school sent cheerleaders to our sectional competition. They wore knee-length skirts with lots of pleats, which didn't seem very safe. All that fabric got in the way when the kids tried to do jumps and stunts, and they didn't even attempt any tumbling. The team didn't score very high, and they didn't return to the competition the next year.

Re: the Maxwells, Steve is such a prig, and he's brainwashed the whole family into it too. I wish so badly one of them would break away, but I don't think it would ever happen.

[Guest Anonymous]

Well, not surprising then that the boards are all but dead....I think that all that was left to discuss was the Maxwells' burrito recipe, wasn't it? :lol:

[Lostie]

So Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings are out. However, they didn't mention any other fantasy.

[Effie]

Study after study has shown that girls/women involved in sports/athletics tend to have better self-esteem and do better in school/life. In other words, sports tend to empower girls/women. The fundies certainly can't be having any of that. :roll:

It doesn't surprise me at all. My two little sisters are social butterflies. They have both played sports since they were somewhere between 7-10 years old. My big sister and I are both socially awkward. We have never been involved in sports. I'm not saying that not being involved in sports/athletics is the reason why my big sister and I have difficulties functioning "normal" in social settings. However I do not doubt that we both would have benefited from being involved in sports.

[Cran]

So Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings are out. However, they didn't mention any other fantasy.

Yes, we could talk about STAR WARS!

Wonder if they would take kindly to my crush on His Evilness Lord Vader?

[dawbs]

Do they EVER actually address people who don't have 47 siblings to go play with?

[tehgoobster]

So Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings are out. However, they didn't mention any other fantasy.

"So, Sarah, have you ever heard of the A Song of Fire and Ice series? You should totally check it out." Bet that would make the banhammer come down pretty quickly. :lol:

[VodouDoll]

So far the Maxwells haven't prepared their daughters for anything but living at home well into adulthood.

[Deleted03]

granted I don't have siblings, but how much effort do you need to put into building those relationships? Seriously? NOt only it is constricting to limit friendship to siblings - so what do you do when you marry and go live with your husband (since it seems like what they're doing?) ? You're not allowed friends?

Those people are crazy, brainwashed, and I wish the kids can get out of there. Please someone help them!

[Avalondaughter]

I found myself reading one of their "modesty" articles. Same BS about not directing men's thoughts in bad directions, etc. Then this paragraph caught my eye.

preparingdaughters.com/modest-articles-and-testimonies.php

Another reason we wear dresses is to appear distinctly feminine. Compare a girl wearing pants to a girl wearing a dress! Who looks more feminine? Clearly it’s the girl in a dress! We know some like to think that they have cute feminine pants, but pants are still men’s clothing in our day.

Who looks more feminine? Let's see. Let's take a girl in a well-fitting pair of skinny jeans with cute shoes and a nice flowy type in a pretty color or pattern. Maybe she has some nice touches of jewelry or makeup on.

Now let's take a woman in a baggy frumper, especially a denim one. Her hair is covered and she has no makeup or jewelry.

You know what? I think the first woman looks way more feminine. The second one is close to androgynous!

[dianapavelovna]

I know it's being discussed in another thread, but...what would the Maxwells make of the Arndts who play sports...with their siblings??

[jockosmom]

They disapprove of so many things - someone (probably Papa Max) must sit in front of their computer, endlessly trolling for sites that they can add to their disapproval list.

I didn't understand the Trivial Questions thing either - you can't ask trivial questions? Questions like what instrument do you play?, what is your favorite color? are the types of questions that some people use to get to know one another. Oh, wait - the Maxwells don't really want to know others, do they? Their insular little group is enough for them.

[Avalondaughter]

It doesn't surprise me at all. My two little sisters are social butterflies. They have both played sports since they were somewhere between 7-10 years old. My big sister and I are both socially awkward. We have never been involved in sports. I'm not saying that not being involved in sports/athletics is the reason why my big sister and I have difficulties functioning "normal" in social settings. However I do not doubt that we both would have benefited from being involved in sports.

I think the independence and confidence potentially instilled by sports are the real reason that fundies want girls to stay out of them. Why would you want your daughter to enjoy feeling powerful with her body? Why would you want her to improve her ability to socialize with others? Why would you want her to feel self-confidence? She needs to feel meek, powerless, and unable to enjoy the power of her body in order to buy into the system.

[Karsaroni]

I always hate when people get going on women not playing any type of sports. What is the problem with that?? I don't think that God would have anything bad to say about that. They would have loved me. I did cross country running and rock climbing in high school, I must be a man now :shock:

You and me both!

Oh, I guess pairing the Maxwell girls up with the Arndt boys wouldn't work. No sports is definitely going to be an issue for those guys. Even their Mom gets in on the softball stuff. I guess both families are destined to be alone forever. And more and more I'm thinking that's a good thing.

[Trynn]

Another reason we wear dresses is to appear distinctly feminine. Compare a girl wearing pants to a girl wearing a dress! Who looks more feminine? Clearly it’s the girl in a dress! We know some like to think that they have cute feminine pants, but pants are still men’s clothing in our day.

I'm not sure what century SHE lives in, but I live in the year 2011, and these days, pants are NOT solely men's garments.

[Kaylee]

Now I'm wondering what fundie cheerleaders would wear.

At my college, it was blue sweaters with an ankle-length white skirt (in 2000). They later banned cheerleading stunts because there was a chance you could flash your underwear when doing them.

Some of the other colleges had knee-lentgh or below the knee full, pleated skirts but it seems like wearing a sweater or jacket over the top was pretty common. Obviously, full-length shirts, nothing with a bare midriff.

[kpmom]

I always hate when people get going on women not playing any type of sports. What is the problem with that?? I don't think that God would have anything bad to say about that. They would have loved me. I did cross country running and rock climbing in high school, I must be a man now :shock:

To be fair, the Maxwells feel the same way about men playing sports, and wouldn't allow talk of that on the Preparing Sons either.

[emmyfair]

— No sports

Yes, we know this is a tough subject! We desire to encourage young ladies in the Lord, and do not feel that sports would be edifying. Sports draw a girl's heart outside her home and into a "team" of others. Some may say that they play sports because it is good exercise. We would encourage you instead to exercise with your siblings - what a wonderful way to build your relationship with them. Also, a long this line, we won't be discussing any types of dancing, gymnastics, and that sort of thing.

Holy hell, sports kept me sane when I got to go to high school - soccer, track, basketball, I loved team sports. I learned a lot from working in a group and it really helped my self-esteem. I guess that's bad in fundie land though. Girls may just see they're worth more than doormats and that in combination with the physical ability to run away ... only the guys would be left. At least Doug would be happy, though.

[Austin]

To be fair, the Maxwells feel the same way about men playing sports, and wouldn't allow talk of that on the Preparing Sons either.

That actually doesn't surprise. The only people who should be empowered at all, in the view of these people, are the first generation fundie men - the patriarchs.

[Hane]

My junior year of high school a Baptist school sent cheerleaders to our sectional competition. They wore knee-length skirts with lots of pleats, which didn't seem very safe. All that fabric got in the way when the kids tried to do jumps and stunts, and they didn't even attempt any tumbling. The team didn't score very high, and they didn't return to the competition the next year.

Sounds like what cheerleaders wore when I was in (public) high school (late '60s), before tumbling and X-treme cheerleading in general got popular.

Srsly, Sarah's forum could not possibly be more yawn-tastic. How long has it been up? And who is surprised that nobody seems to be pounding a path to its door?