Jessa, Ben & Spurgeon - Those Smug Seewalds Part 2

[Full enough quiver]

For me, the infant stage is absolute hell. My daughter cried constantly for the first 3 months of her life. Jessa gets a pass from me for not working. Hell, I stay home and I don't have an infant. Bin has no reason for not getting off his butt and getting a job. If he wants a stay at home wife and a full quiver, then he needs a full time, well paying job. He should be using this time while they have family support and only one child to learn a trade of some kind. If four year college isn't for him, In two years he could be a plumber, an electrician, or a mechanic. All respectable trades that make a good living, especially in rural Arkansas where col is low. Jessa looks like she would be good at doing hair and makeup. Maybe some kind of cosmetology training would be good. She could see a couple clients a week out of her home. 

[SassyPants]

I have found that in life, you do what you need to do. I took 2 maternity leaves 1 for 6 mos, the other for 3 mos...and I worked 3-4 days a week. At that time, I was making nearly the same amount of money as my husband and we lived in a high COL area. People do what they have to do. The Duggars (none of them) don't do much because they have not had to do much for a good, long time.

The problem I have is JB selling his way as the best way...his way is Fantasy Land and smoke and mirrors as we've all found out.

Jessa thinks her reality IS reality...for most people this is just not true.

 

[ksgranola1]

"Jessa looks like she would be good at doing hair and makeup. Maybe some kind of cosmetology training would be good. She could see a couple clients a week out of her home. "

She wouldn't do that tho, b/c that's considered a "servant" service. She thinks she's "better" than that.

[singsingsing]

None of them have ever really struck me as lazy, except for Josh. Josh would roll in to the used car lot at like 11 a.m., post multiple photos of himself doing pretty much anything but working, and still manage to get home by 5 for dinner. Josh was lazy. John-David seems to do a whole variety of things. Jill and Jessa both have babies, which is a job in and of itself. Ben also works - it's not work that many of us value, but it is work. As for the adult kids at home, it's harder to know what they do, but we know that the girls especially are tasked with childcare, housework, cooking, organization, and homeschooling. Derick doesn't seem to be doing much on his 'mission', but I'm not there, so I can't really judge.

It's a myth that everyone has to work 5+ days/40+ hours a week at a traditional job. If you don't have to and you don't want to, don't do it. Traditionally the American protestant work ethic places a huge emphasis on proving your worth based on your work, and how tired and stressed out you are. Of course everyone should want to, and seek to, make a positive contribution to society, but work is only part of that. It's also pretty ableist to evaluate someone's value as a person based on how much they work. 

[FloraKitty35]

2 minutes ago, ksgranola1 said:

"Jessa looks like she would be good at doing hair and makeup. Maybe some kind of cosmetology training would be good. She could see a couple clients a week out of her home. "

She wouldn't do that tho, b/c that's considered a "servant" service. She thinks she's "better" than that.

If JB ever found himself in a lot of trouble (I think JB will brought down due to something business or tax related sooner or later), Jessa and Ben will be in for a rude awakening.  

[ksgranola1]

Quote

 

Everybody should pull their own weight in this country. I can see people getting down on their luck and needing public assistance, but if you have an opportunity to pick up a marketable skill, I think they should. If JB goes down, what will happen to his 19 children. Half of them are of working age. Derrick can go back to accounting, but Ben is wasting his time. We are all given a small window of time to prepare to earn a living and Ben's is closing in on him. Someone needs to tell him he is never going to be a preacher b/c he needs intensive speech therapy. By that time, he could has 3 more kids.

[mizandry]

10 hours ago, singsingsing said:

None of them have ever really struck me as lazy, except for Josh. Josh would roll in to the used car lot at like 11 a.m., post multiple photos of himself doing pretty much anything but working, and still manage to get home by 5 for dinner. Josh was lazy. John-David seems to do a whole variety of things. Jill and Jessa both have babies, which is a job in and of itself. Ben also works - it's not work that many of us value, but it is work. As for the adult kids at home, it's harder to know what they do, but we know that the girls especially are tasked with childcare, housework, cooking, organization, and homeschooling. Derick doesn't seem to be doing much on his 'mission', but I'm not there, so I can't really judge.

It's a myth that everyone has to work 5+ days/40+ hours a week at a traditional job. If you don't have to and you don't want to, don't do it. Traditionally the American protestant work ethic places a huge emphasis on proving your worth based on your work, and how tired and stressed out you are. Of course everyone should want to, and seek to, make a positive contribution to society, but work is only part of that. It's also pretty ableist to evaluate someone's value as a person based on how much they work. 

THANK YOU. I don't want to get into my feelings about a lot of the discussion, but I do want to express gratitude that this has been expressed. Much appreciated.

[Mercer]

I don't think the issue is that Jessa is not currently employed outside the home shortly after giving birth, though, really? 

I think it's that Jessa and Ben got married, had a planned conception, and plan on adding more to the family (they've already been seeking out an adoption agency) without either spouse having any sort of means in place to provide for their family and without any indication of a plan to do so in the future. It's not really the equivalent of "maternity leave" when it seems to be their long-term strategy both before and after having children.

What happens when Jim Bob someday dies or when he becomes too elderly to provide enough income for the whole clan?

What sort of spouse/parent will Spurgeon and his siblings grow up to be with this as the behavior being modeled?

I know Ben is interested in some sort of pastoral work, but he doesn't seem to be taking any concrete steps toward that goal like going to seminary or finding an internship. He doesn't seem to place any priority on providing for their child by finding employment. As for Jessa, this isn't the best time for her to run out and get a job, true - but she wasn't dropped into this position by aliens, her choices got her here and her future choices will affect what happens next. 

There's no shame in being legitimately unable to work, but there is a problem when a young couple simply prefer living an adolescent fantasy to doing what is necessary to provide for their family's long-term future.

[missegeno]

I still don't understand why it's considered significant that we don't see more photos of Jessa holding Spurgeon? It seems utterly insignificant to me.

And yes, the issue with Benessa isn't that they are enjoying parental leave, but that this seems to be as far as the plan goes. I think every parent, mother and father, should be able to spend a period of time after birth being able to focus 100% on bonding with and caring for their new child (#feelthebern). To have so many new parents required by circumstance to return to outside work within the first month is an abhorrent embarrassment on the US system, imo. (But working also shouldn't be precluded if that is what the parent prefers - it just should be a choice and it rarely is these days)

The Duggars acts as if just anyone can and should do this. But they only support politicians who will never expand parental leave rights. Because parental leave doesn't matter when you think real jobs are just for heathens anyways.

[nst]

2 hours ago, missegeno said:

I still don't understand why it's considered significant that we don't see more photos of Jessa holding Spurgeon? It seems utterly insignificant to me.

And yes, the issue with Benessa isn't that they are enjoying parental leave, but that this seems to be as far as the plan goes. I think every parent, mother and father, should be able to spend a period of time after birth being able to focus 100% on bonding with and caring for their new child (#feelthebern). To have so many new parents required by circumstance to return to outside work within the first month is an abhorrent embarrassment on the US system, imo. (But working also shouldn't be precluded if that is what the parent prefers - it just should be a choice and it rarely is these days)

The Duggars acts as if just anyone can and should do this. But they only support politicians who will never expand parental leave rights. Because parental leave doesn't matter when you think real jobs are just for heathens anyways.

it may not be signficant in your world - but it speaks volumes in mine

i can count on one hand photos of Jessa showing us she is holding Spud- it just shows she is trying to be the anti JIll or just doesn't care anymore about social media because the show and the specials are over - and if that is the case well - wonderful news - she can live her life and Ben can get a better job. 

#noonecares

 

[Grace]

Also, they are still filming. People I know have seen Jessa with the camera crew at least once this month. As ridiculous as we think it is (you , know... because it IS) they are still earning something from just being (some version of) themselves. It seems like THAT is the career path they have chosen right now. It's easy, it makes money and it's petty much all Jessa has seen modeled. Maybe they are striking while the iron I still hot lukewarm and piling up a good rainy day fund? Or saving to pay cash if any unsuspecting seminary takes Bin on. Also....didn't one of their updates say he was researching options? Maybe he's having trouble finding one willing to allow filming? Hmmm

[nst]

9 minutes ago, Grace said:

Also, they are still filming. People I know have seen Jessa with the camera crew at least once this month. As ridiculous as we think it is (you , know... because it IS) they are still earning something from just being (some version of) themselves. It seems like THAT is the career path they have chosen right now. It's easy, it makes money and it's petty much all Jessa has seen modeled. Maybe they are striking while the iron I still hot lukewarm and piling up a good rainy day fund? Or saving to pay cash if any unsuspecting seminary takes Bin on. Also....didn't one of their updates say he was researching options? Maybe he's having trouble finding one willing to allow filming? Hmmm

and let me guess someone else is holding spud while jessa is in public 

the iron is on level 1 - even if it's on that - are there negative numbers on an iron 

as for Ben - those days are over - pure and simple 

the teenager father is a tool who needs to man up - get a job and stop trying to live off the duggar name 

nothing can come from that 

 

[SassyPants]

5 hours ago, missegeno said:

I still don't understand why it's considered significant that we don't see more photos of Jessa holding Spurgeon? It seems utterly insignificant to me.

And yes, the issue with Benessa isn't that they are enjoying parental leave, but that this seems to be as far as the plan goes. I think every parent, mother and father, should be able to spend a period of time after birth being able to focus 100% on bonding with and caring for their new child (#feelthebern). To have so many new parents required by circumstance to return to outside work within the first month is an abhorrent embarrassment on the US system, imo. (But working also shouldn't be precluded if that is what the parent prefers - it just should be a choice and it rarely is these days)

The Duggars acts as if just anyone can and should do this. But they only support politicians who will never expand parental leave rights. Because parental leave doesn't matter when you think real jobs are just for heathens anyways.

IIRC, Jessa recently mentioned that she will not allow Ben to photograph her until she loses the baby weight. She mentioned that the scale and photos do not lie....her own words. I think she is too vain to have those photos out there at this point. She had a huge baby...I'm thinking she was ill prepared for the new "mommy" postpartum body.

[missegeno]

53 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

IIRC, Jessa recently mentioned that she will not allow Ben to photograph her until she loses the baby weight. She mentioned that the scale and photos do not lie....her own words. I think she is too vain to have those photos out there at this point. She had a huge baby...I'm thinking she was ill prepared for the new "mommy" postpartum body.

Oh i must have missed that! Do you have a link or remember whereabouts she said that? I didn't find it with a quick search here or on Google.

[SassyPants]

33 minutes ago, missegeno said:

Oh i must have missed that! Do you have a link or remember whereabouts she said that? I didn't find it with a quick search here or on Google.

I cannot remember. Was it in a video?

Anyone else remember this? It was fairly recent.

[choralcrusader8613]

She said it on the Counting On episode with the maternity shoot, so the third one, I think.

[SassyPants]

13 minutes ago, choralcrusader8613 said:

She said it on the Counting On episode with the maternity shoot, so the third one, I think.

Thank you- I knew I had heard it somewhere.

[Kira]

 

"What happens when Jim Bob someday dies or when he becomes too elderly to provide enough income for the whole clan?"

They'll have careers n the family real estate/construction business? Ben and Josiah work for "Duggar Contruction". Joseph is getting a real estate license.  A few of the boys have commercial driving licenses.JD has a few skills, including flying. Derick has an accounting degree and Ben wants to become a pastor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[MatthewDuggar]

6 minutes ago, Kira said:

 

"What happens when Jim Bob someday dies or when he becomes too elderly to provide enough income for the whole clan?"

They'll have careers n the family real estate/construction business? A few of the boys have commercial driving licenses. JD could be a pilot. Derick has an accounting degree and Ben wants to be a pastor. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They have CDL licenses?  Which boys?

[moreorlessnu]

On 1/25/2016 at 0:24 AM, Full enough quiver said:

I also envy people with a strong career drive. I've never had that. To me, working outside the home is the most stressful thing I can possibly think of. That being said, I'm not lazy. I cook, clean, and do laundry, and I homeschool. I do yard work and take care of our animals. I know it sounds cheesy, but I get fulfillment from serving my family. I will have to figure out the career thing eventually, though, and it is a huge source of stress.

It's like anything else that you do a lot of. What seems stressful at first becomes routine and mundane. 

[Kira]

12 minutes ago, MatthewDuggar said:

They have CDL licenses?  Which boys?

This is where I found  it: http://www.duggarfamilyblog.com/2016/01/duggar-kid-career-update.html

 

I dont know which boys have it, but Joseph is working on getting real estate and CDL licenses.

 

[PennySycamore]

Why would Joseph need both CDL and real estate licenses?  

[socalrules]

Does anyone really believe that Jim Bob can or does pay each of the kids that "work" for Duggar Construction a living wage? Do people really believe they are being paid every two weeks with benefits? Or the same as they would get for working for a real construction company? I just don't even believe that Jim Bob is paying them anything that would enable them to live a life on their own terms. I doubt any of them are working 9-5 everyday or even one day a week. It's more likely that they help out when needed and get thrown a little money.

This isn't a construction company that has multiple projects with multiple crews working for clients. If this was a real construction company doing work for clients, someone who works for the company, usually a managing officer, would have the have a valid contractor's license. That's how it is in most states and likely Arkansas as well. Does Jim Bob have a contractor's license? I think this company just involves working on whatever random property Jim Bob has purchased. He has to sell the property for money to come in. There is no regular income from which to pay a living wage because there is no non-Jim Bob work.

[ksgranola1]

Maybe he's going to take over the Duggar Towing business. Or run heavy equipment in the constructing.

Maybe Jessa isn't seen holding Spurge b/c she's the one taking the pictures. She can't do both.

[Grace]

10 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

Why would Joseph need both CDL and real estate licenses?  

Anybody who drives their big bus has to have a CDL so, while it is a good skill to have, it's probably not career-minded....it's just so they have an extra driver in the family.