Jill and Jessa Duggar Special Sunday Dec 13 - Merge

[pnwgypsy]

I wonder how the group texting is policed. The person initiating the text would have to add JB & Michelle to the thread, right? Would anyone have the guts to leave them out? Or maybe phones get checked nightly?

Thinking of Derek's post op nutrition...how about a tater tot casserole smoothie?

[Jennifer Hart]

55 minutes ago, Marissap said:

All this ugly baby talk really makes me want to go watch Seinfeld. 

That was one of my favorite episodes!  I laughed so hard at Kramer's reaction to seeing the baby.

[picklepizzas]

3 hours ago, boston2495 said:

Agreed! I was shocked. I actually hit rewind when I saw that to make sure my eyes weren't tricking me. 

i don't think she was just in pants though. that's all part of the scene where she is walking around in that oversize nightgown  - i thought she was just wearing pajama pants underneath the gown and wasn't careful about how she sat on the couch.

which is still pretty defrauding.

[SassyPants]

JB and M are not checking all those cell phones every night. No freaking way.  They can barely keep them housed, fed and clean with a full component of J-slaves. There is no way they are checking the 7+ cell phones.

[Cerealgirl]

It's funny that everyone is saying how boring the special was. I think we should all take a moment to acknowledge that this period is the most interesting they will ever get.

[mebeforee]

I think it would be impossible for them to keep up with texts in a practical sense. I think someone here said they use some sort of automatic program that includes the parents in every text. But with the amount I imagine Jana or Jinger might be texting each other childcare logistics, or Jinger to Jessa, Jill to Jana, I would be surprised if they can actually keep up with it. I doubt the younger boys are texting much, with those flip phones. On the other hand it might be harder to program those old phones to automatically include the parents in messaging, so they probably don't have texting plans.

[SilverBeach]

4 hours ago, Karma said:

I generally find all babies gorgeous. But I remember going to a christening back in the 80s and when I went to gush over the baby, I was confronted with the ugliest baby I had ever seen in my entire life.  "Oh isn't he tiny" was all I could think of to say to the adoring parents . I still have never seen a baby that ugly again.

This made me crack up.

13 hours ago, slickcat79 said:

all in a valliant effort to avoid being made to hold the dread baby. 

I love babies and love holding them. Not ever woman is nurturing like me, and that's OK. It's better to recognize that and not have children.

[Cerealgirl]

I think it would be impossible for them to keep up with texts in a practical sense.

I bet they let the kids believe they're monitoring every text but only randomly checking now and then. Jim Bob is way too lazy to follow strictly. And if I was one of them in a courtship I would have come up with codes to send to my significant other because you can't be sappy with your parents reading.

[JillyO]

I thought they only had group chats for when they text someone unrelated of the opposite sex jinder. Do they seriously have to have their parents included in every text they send to each other? What the fuck?!

15 hours ago, EmmieJ said:

I always wished employers would generally give out Christmas bonuses on the check issued near the 15th of the month, but it's been my experience more often than not, that the bonus comes right at the end of the year.  Either way, I'm glad to get the bonus but that has often meant I have to charge my Christmas gifts and then use the bonus check to pay off the credit card.

Oh wow, that sucks. Here you get your Christmas bonus with your November paycheck. Very prudent, I think.

[socalrules]

I am not sure that there would be that many texts that need to be checked. These people never go anywhere without an accountability buddy. It's not like Jana is at a real Job, Jinger is at the mall and Joy at college. The only people they need to text are the two sisters who are married and maybe Joseph. They spend the majority of their time at home.

Also, I agree that Derrick is likely tired of Jill's clinginess but I wonder if he is also tired of the dumbed down world he now lives in. Jill didn't grow up with books or libraries or reviewing anything without Prince Charming  or Bible in the title. How can he not be bored out of his mind with her. She seems nice enough but I would go nuts living with someone who cannot have an intelligent conversation about what is going on in the world. Jill has no interest in learning anything not Duggar approved, which means living a sheltered, uninformed existence. 

Derrick seems like the type of guy who would go see Star Wars opening weekend. Now he is likely limited to bad "Christian" movies. I know there are great Christian movies out there but I doubt Duggar relations can watch any Christian movie that is not on the level of Kirk Cameron ridiculous. Derrick was a fully formed person with his own interests when he met Jill and now it seems like he has just morphed into the Duggar lifestyle and left Dillardville behind. 

[lascuba]

While it's hard to imagine, I think it's likely that Derrick is just fine with Jill's vapidness and clinginess. There's a reason why certain men are drawn to these cults, and I can see Derrick especially suffering from Nice Guy Syndrome, where he's convinced he's this great guy and thinks women aren't interested in him because we're all bitches who like bad boys. So he gets into Gothardism and bam, gets a sweet, dumb little wife who worships him with no effort on his part.

And to be fair, it's not even entirely a Christian cult thing. I'm sure every single one of us know highly intelligent, professional men who apparently aren't misogynists but always date and eventually marry women who are nowhere near their intellectual equals.

[karen77]

http://www.people.com/article/jessa-jill-counting-on-jessa-duggar-sad

 

Why don't I believe her for one hot second?

[missegeno]

Nice branding. It simultaneously boosts the "we never said we were perfect" line and the "Jill's midwifery is totally sufficient. Ideal even" line. Too bad it's not more believable. :-P

[lascuba]

Jessa, how many times do we have to remind you that lying is a sin? It's one of the very few lines in the bible that isn't open to interpretation.

The fact that even parents side-hug their children may not be the most egregious thing about their beliefs, but it's one of the things that bother me most.

[Gossamer1]

22 minutes ago, karen77 said:

http://www.people.com/article/jessa-jill-counting-on-jessa-duggar-sad

 

Why don't I believe her for one hot second?

In the article it said 

"While Derick and I were engaged, Miss Cathy was in the hospital going through cancer treatments. Now it's a joyous season, with her grandson and just getting to share in that," says Jill, 24. "

Miss Cathy? That's what a 4 year old calls her pre-school  teacher, not her mother-in-law! I would have hoped she moved into Mom or at least Cathy by now.

Is that a southern thing I'm not aware of?

[mebeforee]

When I first started seeing video of Derick and Jill together when they were courting, he did seem super normal, but the things he said about her indicated he thought she was intelligent. I wonder if he thought it was just a matter of broadening her horizons a bit. And maybe that would be the case, but unlike Jessa we haven't seen much to show that she has changed her intake of information or mainstream culture at all. Maybe he's still hoping he can help her reach her full potential or something. And to some extent going on mission will force her to experience things she might be opposed to trying otherwise, 9 months is a long time to be gone from her controlling family environment.

[Imrlgoddess]

6 minutes ago, Gossamer1 said:

In the article it said 

"While Derick and I were engaged, Miss Cathy was in the hospital going through cancer treatments. Now it's a joyous season, with her grandson and just getting to share in that," says Jill, 24. "

Miss Cathy? That's what a 4 year old calls her pre-school  teacher, not her mother-in-law! I would have hoped she moved into Mom or at least Cathy by now.

I called my MiL "miss" for years.  It was a long time before I was ok with calling her by her first name...I almost never called her "mom" even though we were married for 11 years.  It was drilled into me growing up that you are never your elders equal.  Even if you're 30.  

 

(I equate it to a Southern thing)

[SassyPants]

48 minutes ago, lascuba said:

While it's hard to imagine, I think it's likely that Derrick is just fine with Jill's vapidness and clinginess. There's a reason why certain men are drawn to these cults, and I can see Derrick especially suffering from Nice Guy Syndrome, where he's convinced he's this great guy and thinks women aren't interested in him because we're all bitches who like bad boys. So he gets into Gothardism and bam, gets a sweet, dumb little wife who worships him with no effort on his part.

And to be fair, it's not even entirely a Christian cult thing. I'm sure every single one of us know highly intelligent, professional men who apparently aren't misogynists but always date and eventually marry women who are nowhere near their intellectual equals.

But it's the ignorance and the instance, based on cult of JB, of how HE must live and what HE must do.

In essence, it's HIM having to DUMB down to live in the cult of JB and SHE is pulling the strings.

Most men get to live their own lives and at least get to leave the cage for work purposes.

It's becoming ignorant himself because of the cult, that is the bigger problem, far more so that being married to the ignorant.

It is the very definition of soul sucking.

[Jana814]

I think now calls her Mother-in-law by her first name. 

 

Side note: I am 35 and I still call old classmates parents mr/mrs. Even when they tell me not to. 

[AmazonGrace]

44 minutes ago, karen77 said:

http://www.people.com/article/jessa-jill-counting-on-jessa-duggar-sad

 

Why don't I believe her for one hot second?

"Oooh it's so hard to say good bye... " "it's so hard not having Jill around..."

FGS, get a grip, they'll be back next week.

[ThunderRolls]

28 minutes ago, Imrlgoddess said:

I called my MiL "miss" for years.  It was a long time before I was ok with calling her by her first name...I almost never called her "mom" even though we were married for 11 years.  It was drilled into me growing up that you are never your elders equal.  Even if you're 30.  

 

(I equate it to a Southern thing)

I agree, it's totally a Southern thing. A lot of "Yankees" seem to be totally perplexed by common Southern niceties and social norms. The use of Miss/Mr (such as "Miss Cathy" or "Mr. Derrick") is just politeness. Another one that seems to confuse Northerners (or West Coasters) is people calling their parents "Mama" and "Daddy" well into adulthood. My mother still references her "Mama" and "Daddy" - and my Midwestern in-laws and friends look at her like she's some child-woman longing for her carefree days in the 50s. 

I also agree there does seem to be a general reverence to elders in the South more so than anywhere else I've ever lived - which can be good and bad at times. 

Edit: I want to add that I don't say "Yankees" to be disparaging or blame them for not being aware of the social mores of the South (while I've lived in the South and my mother's family is from the South, I was mostly raised in Yankeeland) - there's a lot of things that aren't easy to be aware us until you actually visit or live somewhere to fully experience the customs. 

[lascuba]

17 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

But it's the ignorance and the instance, based on cult of JB, of how HE must live and what HE must do.

In essence, it's HIM having to DUMB down to live in the cult of JB and SHE is pulling the strings.

Most men get to live their own lives and at least get to leave the cage for work purposes.

It's becoming ignorant himself because of the cult, that is the bigger problem, far more so that being married to the ignorant.

It is the very definition of soul sucking.

Derrick took it upon himself to contact Jim Bob to be his prayer partner, so he was already plenty dumbed down before even meeting Jill. I think Jill will annoy him eventually, just because it's normal for people to want some personal space every once in a while, and that's something that might eventually get worked through (and Jill might actually improve in that regard with age and and a bunch of little kids to care for); but for Derrick, the ignorant-while-believing-you're-deep-and-smart is a feature, not a bug, of his marriage. Remember, cults get big when normal, relatively educated people join up and raise their kids with their new beliefs. In that sense, Derrick is no different that Gil and Kelly Bates.

[mebeforee]

I think it may still be a little too early to determine if Derick is fully committed to the whole cult thing. I am sure he'll be appalled when he sees the kind of homeschooling curriculum they actually use, he seems to want his own children to go on to college the way he did. When their child/ren get older we'll see more whether he has given it all up or not, but I don't see any of the big red flags I do with Ben and Jessa. At least the Dillards seem to be pursuing independent goals, since their plans are long-term mission work rather than the few weeks vacation in the tropics that the Duggars favor.

[halcionne]

44 minutes ago, lascuba said:

Jessa, how many times do we have to remind you that lying is a sin? It's one of the very few lines in the bible that isn't open to interpretation.

The fact that even parents side-hug their children may not be the most egregious thing about their beliefs, but it's one of the things that bother me most.

I feel like side hugs are part of their brand, and either they don't want to give regular hugs on camera or they don't want to give regular hugs at all.* It's a shame that they have to perform during an actual, real life event, but that's what they signed up for with TLC.

*Because they're non-huggers, not because they're side-huggers. I wouldn't guess Jill is a non-hugger, though. Jessa, I would bet money, is a non-hugger.

[mebeforee]

The side hug thing is also bizarre because Josh and Anna did normal hugs during their courtship. The side hugs seemed to have been introduced when their daughters started courting.