John Shrader Pt 6: Asinine Alliterations About African Adventures Aplenty!

[formergothardite]

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Record Attendance at Church, and Rain Results in Stuck "Truth Carrier"!

It doesn't look like 70 people to me. He made a point to say that these people totally did not come for food, they came to hear him preach. He also got the "Truth Carrier" stuck in the mud and got his pants and shoes muddy. 

[ViolaSebastian]

Well, he got the count from his 13-year-old son, who he admits said "around 70, dad."  Drawing from my experience as a 13-year-old, I'm extrapolating that it was more of a "*rolls eyes* I dunno, like, 70 or something."  

And oh no, poor John got his pants and shoes slightly muddy.  What a brave, brave missionary!

[formergothardite]

I tried to count the people in the picture and I got close to 40, but that includes kids that are clearly John's.  John says they didn't come for food, but he doesn't mention if he was serving food. 

[formergothardite]

John posted that heaven doesn't rejoice over people who make decisions, it rejoices over people who repent.

Someone replies:

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thumbs down. Repentance is a change of mind that involves a decision. This just muddies the water.

Which is a good point because you can't repent without also making a decision.

John gets all pissy about someone disagreeing with him and replies to the guy four times:

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you're welcome and encouraged to share Scripture to validate your opinion 

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 Nowhere does the Bible say to make a "decision" for Christ...

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The issue is that many make a mental "decision" to "believe", and the Scripture is clear in James 2:18 that even the Devils believe and tremble. One of my closest Pastor friends (who pastors an amazing church) finally trusted Christ for real this month. He made a "decision" but was not converted.

There are always stories of longtime pastors/deacons/sunday school teachers who realize they weren't really saved and then get for real saved. The scary thing was that you could spend years thinking you were saved but end up going to hell because you weren't really saved just because you didn't get saved in the right way. 

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I think I understand what you're trying to communicate, but the point of the post is based on the Scripture I quoted, and the testimony of Bro.Roy Cheong has been duplicated over and over in my 15 years of full time ministry...sadly

The guy has not replied to any of John's comments. 

[Gimme a Free RV]

And he continues to preach through an interpreter.  He needs to hurry up and learn the language because he really doesn't know WHAT the interpreter is saying.  For example:

On a one-week mission trip to a third world country years ago, I visited an old woman who lived by herself.  An "interpreter" was with me.  I got to the line "If you were to die tonight and God were to ask you, 'Why should I let you into heaven?' what would you say?"

The interpreter said something to her, she replied to him, he turned to me and replied, "She said 'Yes!.'"

I'm dead serious.  That guy could be saying anything or he could be misunderstanding John's fake accent and saying something totally off the wall that John never meant (maybe not a bad idea...) or he might be telling the prices at the market or predicting the weather.  How can John be in the country for over a year and not learn at least a working knowledge of the language?

To be fair, though, he has accomplished several things:

• Built a Bible display case
• Bought matching African outfits for the family
• Impregnated his wife
• Stole water business from a neighbor
• Angered a landlord
• Moved house three times
• Paved a street with his tracts
• Got a Zambian drivers license
• Lost an airplane
• Gained a piano
• Made Zambian teenagers laugh (at his mannerisms)
• Gotten his Sunday best muddied
• Developed memes
• Devoted much time to Facebook
• Disappointed his supporting churches
• Continually bore the burden of a grudge against a fellow missionary
• Argued with people who disagree with him
• Wasted lots, and lots, and lots of time and money
• Made one (or was it two?) trips back to the U.S. without family
• Managed to maintain his weight...and hairstyle...and clothing style...and egotism
• Benefited ($) from his sister's death
• Baptized one person
• Criticized a Zambian funeral
• Showed FB followers how to be a missionary without being humble

 

[formergothardite]

He has technically not built the Bible display case, he is waiting for supplies to come from America because there is clearly no building supplies in Zambia. None.  Losing an entire airplane is a pretty amazing accomplishment, though. 

If John has to have someone follow him around intepretting what he is saying, why is he even there? He could type that shit up and send it to the guy. His physical presence isn't actually needed. 

[ViolaSebastian]

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The issue is that many make a mental "decision" to "believe", and the Scripture is clear in James 2:18 that even the Devils believe and tremble. One of my closest Pastor friends (who pastors an amazing church) finally trusted Christ for real this month. He made a "decision" but was not converted.

I am so confused.  If it's not a decision (conscious or unconscious), then what the heck is it?  

[formergothardite]

I think what he is trying to say is that even the demons believe in Jesus so just believing that Jesus is God isn't enough, you have to repent. So making a decision to believe in Christ won't save you, you have to repent, but what John doesn't like admitting is that to repent, one must first make a decision. 

ETA: I just realized John has had people disagreeing with him about Ted Cruz and he is not handling it well. He told one person they were ignorant of history and the other person:

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So don't vote and get a Democrat again...now that's a great plan! 

The wonderful reply to John is:

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Just thank God I am a felon and can't vote

[countressrascal]

I did not know that reason he is a missionary in Zambia to tell me how to vote in the US elections

[Gimme a Free RV]

2 hours ago, countressrascal said:

I did not know that reason he is a missionary in Zambia to tell me how to vote in the US elections

John's entire reason for being is:

1. to tell everyone that they're wrong and why

2. get people to conform to his ideas of propriety

3. convince everyone he is incapable of being wrong about anything 

4.  bring lots of attention (and $) to himself

5. see how many times he can get Esther pregnant before her uterus falls out.

6.  And make people forget about the plane, aka Jedi mind tricks, i.e.  "These aren't the droids you're looking for."

"The plane's former owner can't locate the key."

And for John's Zambian misfortunates...er, audience:

"Theez eez noat de plehn you ah lookeen foh."

 

[Guest]

I'll be shocked if he builds the bible case himself.  He'll probably make Arcade do it while he finds another snake to drive over multiple times.

[formergothardite]

His latest post is just ridiculous. It is all about how he had to design a prayer card and why it took him so long(real reason was that he was arguing on FB) First of all, it can't be that hard because there are plenty of programs to help to do that shit, And secondly it looks pretty much just like his old one. He still has them posed in front of that hut like they are living way out in an isolated village instead of in a pretty big city.

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I'm not a graphics designer, and had to learn all this when God called us to the Missionfield, and trying to learn graphics design, videography, and a failed attempt to learn website design and management is quite taxing when you are trying to raise support, get to the field, continue to raise your children...you get the idea!

If you want one you have to send a self-addressed postage paid envelope to his dad's church. 

John is still arguing with the guy about how one must make a decision to repent. Instead of answering the guy's questions John is asking other questions because it is clear the guy is correct and John is fuming. No one gets to be right except for John! 

[salex]

6 hours ago, AbandonAllHope said:

 

I'll be shocked if he builds the bible case himself.  He'll probably make Arcade do it while he finds another snake to drive over multiple times.

I kept thinking he had already built the Bible case but it  was the donation box he made so quickly...  first things first. 

[slickcat79]

1 hour ago, formergothardite said:

His latest post is just ridiculous. It is all about how he had to design a prayer card and why it took him so long(real reason was that he was arguing on FB) First of all, it can't be that hard because there are plenty of programs to help to do that shit, And secondly it looks pretty much just like his old one. He still has them posed in front of that hut like they are living way out in an isolated village instead of in a pretty big city.

His prayer card looks like the kind of thing we tried to make when we were learning powerpoint in middle school. Wasn't he supposed to be developing a print ministry, necessitating thousands of dollars in printing equipment and paper? Yet he can't make a prayer card for his own family. 

And does he really need to learn "graphics design" and website design? For his purposes, a template program and a basic blogger or wordpress page would do the trick. Maybe he should have taken those hundreds dozens of hours that he spent learning how to fly a nonexistent plane and applied them to something that actually benefits a person in ministry.

12 hours ago, countressrascal said:

I did not know that reason he is a missionary in Zambia to tell me how to vote in the US elections

That too. If all goes according to John's God's plan, he'll be in Zambia through the entirety of the next presidential term. Plus none of the candidates seem to be godly enough for John, so what difference does it make?

[formergothardite]

Ted Cruz is godly enough for John. He seems to be worshiping Ted. 

ETA: John put ten pictures of himself on the prayer card. This is the John show. 

[Gimme a Free RV]

Awwww....poor John, getting his American dry-clean-only Sunday best (the value of which could probably feed a couple of Zambian households for a month or two) dirty. That's gonna play havoc with the creases. 

CAUSE and EFFECT

He gets his pilot's license.  He loses a plane.

He gets his Zambian driver's license.  He gets his vehicle stuck.  (I'm glad he drove so close to the church facility, otherwise, he might've gotten his shoes and slacks much dirtier, having to walk a few more yards from vehicle to pulpit.)

[CTRLZero]

10 minutes ago, Gimme a Free RV said:

He gets his pilot's license.  He loses a plane.

His self-promotional tract mentions a "Potential Bush Plane Ministry," so I guess he's still looking for it...

 

[happy atheist]

"Muddying My Pants Like Only A Brave Missionary Can" is our newest post count title!

[formergothardite]

Common sense should have told John that the Truth Carrier would have gotten stuck in the mud if he tried to drive it right up the the building. 

John says they had a business meeting after church. Can't you just imagine him all puffed up with his fake Zambian accent and his translator leading a meeting like that? 

[Gimme a Free RV]

9 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Common sense should have told John that the Truth Carrier would have gotten stuck in the mud if he tried to drive it right up the the building. 

John says they had a business meeting after church. Can't you just imagine him all puffed up with his fake Zambian accent and his translator leading a meeting like that? 

Seriously?  A business meeting?  Because starting a church in Kafue, Zambia should look JUST LIKE an American Independent Baptist church's twin:  piano, offering, business meeting, fancy Sunday clothes, parking right beside the sanctuary so you don't have to walk far, future Bible display case, etc.  You watch.  He'll put a honking super tall white steeple on the building when it's finished.  

[Gimme a Free RV]

45 minutes ago, CTRLZero said:

His self-promotional tract mentions a "Potential Bush Plane Ministry," so I guess he's still looking for it...

 

Found it!  

[formergothardite]

You know that he is really wanting a huge white steeple to put on top of his "church". But yes, they had a business meeting and it was raining so hard he had to shout to be heard. His parents are coming in March and John is waiting to baptize people until then. I guess he has decided not to return to the states in the spring like he had planned to do. 

[Gimme a Free RV]

You know, I miss seeing pictures of the kids and updates on the entire family.  Remember those days?  He filmed videos of the kids and showed pictures of the family around the table.  I found seeing pictures of his family much more interesting than pictures of him just...ugh.

If they are ALL missionaries, as he prompts one of his kids to say in a video from their early days there, then why not include them in the reports?  Initially, he talked about Esther starting a Bible study for women and meeting new women.  The only time he talks about her now is as a baby-making machine.  Why not praise her publicly for her sweet spirit, her patience with him, her work at home (which enables him to do missionary stuff--allegedly), keeping him and the kids fed, raising and homeschooling their children, etc.  John, I don't want to see a picture of your moderately dirty pants cuffs.  I'd like to see a picture of Esther interacting with the locals.  I'd like to see pictures of your children making friends with neighborhood children and playing with them.  Say what you will about Voddie Bachman (sp?) but from his Instagram photos, it is obvious he loves his wife, his kids, and food.  I'm sure that the people sending prayer and money his way would love to know more about the family.  I'd also like to hear more about the lives and backgrounds of the individuals he's involved with.  Theological arguments I can easily look up anywhere on the Internet.

[nelliebelle1197]

On 1/20/2016 at 9:33 AM, gustava said:

Didn't we think he'd had a "lustful" moment recently?

Eh. It was probably over long tubes of dried sausages from Costco.

On 1/26/2016 at 9:58 AM, formergothardite said:

Ted Cruz is godly enough for John. He seems to be worshiping Ted. 

ETA: John put ten pictures of himself on the prayer card. This is the John show. 

Fortunately, he is too lazy to vote absentee.

[Gimme a Free RV]

Sorry to post so much on this thread but John is, perhaps my favorite fundie to snark on because I find him so incredibly irritating and annoying and just, well, amazingly conceited.

I finally took a good, long look at his missionary card.  Let's look at what he says he's doing, shall we?

• Training National Pastors and Missionaries  He's training one guy who wants to be a pastor but he isn't a Zambian national.  He's from Burundi.  Did I miss something?  What missionary is he training? What national pastor is he training?
• Planting Indigenous Baptist Churches  Merriam Webster's online dictionary defines "indigenous" as produced, living, or existing naturally in a particular region or environment.  For the one church John is building to be existing in a state that is natural to that region, everything spoken, read, and sung should be in the native language, clothing should reflect the climate and the culture as should the ambiance and decor/architecture, the order and way the church worship and business are conducted should be done according to the local Christian customs, within scriptural parameters.  Ideally, the pastor should be Zambian.
• Strengthening Existing Baptist Churches  I call absolute bull on this one.  John has already made it clear that there are no biblical Baptist churches in Kafue.  He feels that the existing Baptist churches have it all wrong and are teaching a false gospel--without proof of this because he surely hasn't visited every single one to know for sure.  Condemning existing Baptist churches isn't exactly helping to strengthen them now, is it?
• Discipleship and Training  Maybe.  We know he's got a couple of guys he does Bible study with.
• Tract Printing Ministry  More like "Tract Paving Ministry."  Does he already have a printer?  Is he actively printing tracts?  Are these tracts in English?
• Potential Bush Plane Ministry  Might happen if he potentially comes up with a substitute for the plane that doesn't seem to exist.  Is he listing the model so donors will know what kind of plane to buy for him?  Again?

Of note, he doesn't seem to receive money through a mission agency or clearinghouse but solely through his dad's church.  This could be a recipe for trouble, accountability-wise.

The pictures of him are interesting.  They seem to be snapshots of times he was able to pose with nationals.  Remember the boy he's posing with in the picture at the bottom near the elephant?  We heard about him one time.  But, hey!  He makes a cool poster child for the prayer card!

I personally take issue with John's artistic choices depicting Zambia.  If any of his donors are uneducated about Kafue, they would be led to think John and family live in huts in a safari-like atmosphere with elephants roaming too close to the children's play area, where Esther comes out of the hut to prepare supper over hot rocks on a fire, only if John was able to bring home game that he was able to shoot before the lionesses attacked.

Hakuna matata!