Erika Shupe *grim rictus* Large Families on Purpose Part 3

[defraudingjezebel]

9 minutes ago, withaj said:

Well the unwed mother storyline is an old one with the Jeubs, since Wendy was an unwed mother to her first two girls as a teenager, then Alicia was an unwed mother herself. I don't think Lydia's pregnancy is a huge shock at this point (and the Jeub Christmas letter didn't mention her pregnancy, just her engagement... ultimate eyeroll). I'm more surprised that Erika hasn't cut them off because of their decision to send the kids to school 

[bolding mine]

I can't remember when we discussed it, but somewhere in the Erika threads we've speculated as to whether Erika was considering putting her kids in school or not. She had posted a bunch of articles written by former homeschooling parents about why they chose to put their kids in mainstream schools, along with a bunch of articles about managing stress (related to homeschooling kids). So I definitely think she relates to the Jeubs on a number of levels... 

[princessmahina]

I could see Erika putting one or more of her children in public school down the line. Then again, she may just make Karen and Melanie do the bulk of homeschooling while she *giggles* *smirks* and *chuckles* over her keyboard.

[warriorblade8857]

On December 21, 2015 at 9:24 AM, defraudingjezebel said:

I do have to admit that I am amused by her snarky little end note about feng shui:

"As a side note:  I agree with the author's suggestions to close bedroom and closet doors at night, to create a sense of calm and order, although her suggestion at the end of the article that we follow these habits out of feng shui inspiration (Chinese mysticism) are NOT what I would encourage of course.  *laugh*  There is only one, true source of peace - the Lord Jesus Christ."

Doesn't sound like Erika really knows what feng shui is. She seems to think it's a type of religion.

[Koala]

Quote

My job is to be the Manager of my Home, not the primary "do-er". 

Yes, Erika just delivers the babies.  It's Karen and Melanie's job to raise them.  *giggle* 

You know what...that's just fucking ridiculous.  Erika should be both the manager AND the "do-er" for her babies/little ones.  That's what parents do.  They have the babies, they manage the schedule, they implement the schedule (they do NOT expect their teenage daughters to implement it for them).

Now don't get me wrong.  I am all for children learning how to function.  I have a 20 something year old nephew who still sends his laundry home to his mom, and all I can do is shake my head in disbelief when she actually does it AND pays to ship it back to him so he doesn't have to wait around while she does it.  Seriously, he'd be in for a rude awakening if he were one of mine.  

At a certain age kids need to learn to take care of their things, do their laundry, cook basic meals, help out with the family pet.  That's just preparing them for the real world.  They should not, however, have to raise the umpteen dozen kids you can't seem to stop having.  

[usmcmom]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

Yes, Erika just delivers the babies.  It's Karen and Melanie's job to raise them.  *giggle* 

You know what...that's just fucking ridiculous.  Erika should be both the manager AND the "do-er" for her babies/little ones.  That's what parents do.  They have the babies, they manage the schedule, they implement the schedule (they do NOT expect their teenage daughters to implement it for them).

Now don't get me wrong.  I am all for children learning how to function.  I have a 20 something year old nephew who still sends his laundry home to his mom, and all I can do is shake my head in disbelief when she actually does it AND pays to ship it back to him so he doesn't have to wait around while she does it.  Seriously, he'd be in for a rude awakening if he were one of mine.  

At a certain age kids need to learn to take care of their things, do their laundry, cook basic meals, help out with the family pet.  That's just preparing them for the real world.  They should not, however, have to raise the umpteen dozen kids you can't seem to stop having.  

Ugh...laundry.  This is exactly the reason I had my kids doing their own laundry at age twelve. I remember going to college and seeing kids who DID NOT KNOW HOW TO DO LAUNDRY! I was shocked. I'd done my own laundry all through high school so I just thought it was normal.  I was not about to send my kids into the world without basic skills like that.

When my daughter studied in Italy for the summer two years ago, the house mothers did their laundry.  She told them and her roommates "This is the first time someone's done my laundry for me since I was twelve!" The students looked at her like that was the most pitiful thing they'd ever heard. When she told me that story I got all puffed up and said "you better believe it!" 

I agree, kids should learn household skills and a bit of childcare is part of that, but teenagers SHOULD NOT be raising their siblings. They certainly should not be up in the middle of the night feeding newborns while one of their parents gets a full night's sleep. 

[sawasdee]

39 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

Ugh...laundry.  This is exactly the reason I had my kids doing their own laundry at age twelve. I remember going to college and seeing kids who DID NOT KNOW HOW TO DO LAUNDRY! I was shocked. I'd done my own laundry all through high school so I just thought it was normal.  I was not about to send my kids into the world without basic skills like that.

 

I was doing the family laundry at the council laundry from the age of eight, when my older sister left home. On one occasion, someone who saw me struggling a little with the size of the bags carried them for me, and told my mother I was too young to have the responsibility - I rather enjoyed it, especially the big rotary iron for the sheets etc......

[19 cats and counting]

2 hours ago, Koala said:

Yes, Erika just delivers the babies.  It's Karen and Melanie's job to raise them.  *giggle* 

You know what...that's just fucking ridiculous.  Erika should be both the manager AND the "do-er" for her babies/little ones.  That's what parents do.  They have the babies, they manage the schedule, they implement the schedule (they do NOT expect their teenage daughters to implement it for them).

Now don't get me wrong.  I am all for children learning how to function.  I have a 20 something year old nephew who still sends his laundry home to his mom, and all I can do is shake my head in disbelief when she actually does it AND pays to ship it back to him so he doesn't have to wait around while she does it.  Seriously, he'd be in for a rude awakening if he were one of mine.  

At a certain age kids need to learn to take care of their things, do their laundry, cook basic meals, help out with the family pet.  That's just preparing them for the real world.  They should not, however, have to raise the umpteen dozen kids you can't seem to stop having.  

I had an ex who's mother walked in while we were in the middle of, well sweet fellowship, to get his laundry.  I was mortified and he got a mouthful from me.  It was right after his 27th birthday and he had been living on his own for awhile.

[elliha]

Everything sounds so hard when you read Erika's posts about lists and planning just to get out of the house. I only have one kid and sure I understand having 9 is going to be much harder but still, I very much doubt I would use that many checklists just to go to the park. I would have pre-packed diaperbags for the youngest (doesn't every parent) and pack one bag with food. I get bringing strollers but not toddler harnesses and all the other stuff. I would probably have times where I would totally f- up the whole outing by forgetting something important but I assume that most times that would be enough. If I learned something from having my one child it is that most parents bring way too much stuff out. I had a tiny diaperbag with 2-3 diapers, one full set of clothing, some wipes and when my child was older a snack and/or lunch. The bag also contained my purse, phone, medicines and keys. Granted, I breastfed so I had no need to bring formula and bottles but most moms even the ones who also breastfed had bags 2-3 times the size of mine.

[Rubaiyat]

9 minutes ago, elliha said:

Everything sounds so hard when you read Erika's posts about lists and planning just to get out of the house. I only have one kid and sure I understand having 9 is going to be much harder but still, I very much doubt I would use that many checklists just to go to the park. I would have pre-packed diaperbags for the youngest (doesn't every parent) and pack one bag with food. I get bringing strollers but not toddler harnesses and all the other stuff. I would probably have times where I would totally f- up the whole outing by forgetting something important but I assume that most times that would be enough. If I learned something from having my one child it is that most parents bring way too much stuff out. I had a tiny diaperbag with 2-3 diapers, one full set of clothing, some wipes and when my child was older a snack and/or lunch. The bag also contained my purse, phone, medicines and keys. Granted, I breastfed so I had no need to bring formula and bottles but most moms even the ones who also breastfed had bags 2-3 times the size of mine.

Heh.  i'm right there with you!  The more kids I had...the less stuff I brought!  We have two very important rules in our house, the second of which is "Mommy is not your Sherpa."  

The year I taught kindergarten (I got drafted!  I'm not exactly anyone's top pick ) I had a long talk with  my kiddos in the first week, starting with "your Mommy is not your Sherpa," and ending with "Mrs. Rubaiyat's lest favorite words in the English language are 'My mom didn't...'"  As in "my mom didn't put that in my bag" or "my mom didn't tell me that."  They caught on pretty quickly.  Sometimes they'd see me in the hall before class and turn to their parents "QUICK!!  Gimme my bag!!  Mrs. Rubaiyat will see you!!"  

Big ups to all the parents out there teaching your kiddos to do things like function in society, and care for their own needs, rendering them capable of leading happy, independent lives!!  

[Anonymousguest]

I do not have as many kids as Erika, but still higher than average. And I had no check lists or even aI plan for leaving the house. Of course on more than one occasion I had to bum a diaper and handful of wipes from a stranger after finding myself without the diaper bag. Or an empty diaper bag. And I've had to buy shoes for a child when I got to town and discovered someone was barefoot. Maybe this is why God only gave me 6

[ILoveJellybeans]

26 minutes ago, Anonymousguest said:

I do not have as many kids as Erika, but still higher than average. And I had no check lists or even aI plan for leaving the house. Of course on more than one occasion I had to bum a diaper and handful of wipes from a stranger after finding myself without the diaper bag. Or an empty diaper bag. And I've had to buy shoes for a child when I got to town and discovered someone was barefoot. Maybe this is why God only gave me 6

Ive got 4, and the only time I make checklists for leaving the house with the kids are when going on vacation.

 

Even if I had Erika's kids, I would still just shove a handful of spare clothes for kids who are potty training or recently potty trained, diapers and a change of pants for those in diapers and a pack of wipes into a bag. Maybe more if we were out for longer and the baby would need feeding-a bottle, formula and if it was for a while, a jar of baby food and a spoon. It isn't that complicated, Erika just overcomplicates things.

[SilverBeach]

On 12/26/2015 at 2:09 PM, defraudingjezebel said:

Supposedly the older kids have a key to the toilet

[princessmahina]

She reposted again today. This time it was a recipe I didn't remember. It doesn't look too bad, actually and I generally hate casseroles. I like the vegetarian modifications. 

[elliha]

Just now, princessmahina said:

She reposted again today. This time it was a recipe I didn't remember. It doesn't look too bad, actually and I generally hate casseroles. I like the vegetarian modifications. 

Her guacamole on the other hand does not tempt me. I learned from a guy from Mexico that mashed avocado, lime juice and salt is quite enough if you feel that the more elaborate recipes are too much and never ever use sourcream. I didn't use sourcream before I met him but I did feel that it sometimes were a lot of steps to make guacamole and opted out. Doing it his way speeds things up a lot and it is very nice. 

[desertvixen]

5 minutes ago, elliha said:

Her guacamole on the other hand does not tempt me. I learned from a guy from Mexico that mashed avocado, lime juice and salt is quite enough if you feel that the more elaborate recipes are too much and never ever use sourcream. I didn't use sourcream before I met him but I did feel that it sometimes were a lot of steps to make guacamole and opted out. Doing it his way speeds things up a lot and it is very nice. 

Maybe some shallot/onion and chili powder as well, but sour cream is definitely a NO.

[princessmahina]

I have a feeling Erika adds sour cream to stretch it. Avocados are really expensive after all. I also can't imagine her taking this to a party. Shouldn't her friends just be satisfied with taco popcorn and protein bars?

[defraudingjezebel]

21 minutes ago, princessmahina said:

I have a feeling Erika adds sour cream to stretch it. Avocados are really expensive after all. I also can't imagine her taking this to a party. Shouldn't her friends just be satisfied with taco popcorn and protein bars?

Don't forget the Froot Loops for dessert! 

[Jingerbread]

4 hours ago, elliha said:

Her guacamole on the other hand does not tempt me. I learned from a guy from Mexico that mashed avocado, lime juice and salt is quite enough if you feel that the more elaborate recipes are too much and never ever use sourcream. I didn't use sourcream before I met him but I did feel that it sometimes were a lot of steps to make guacamole and opted out. Doing it his way speeds things up a lot and it is very nice. 

Sour cream?  That sounds beyond gross!

[notfundy]

So.... I just looked at her recipe for guacamole and it only calls for ONE avocado.  ONE avocado.  And that is in the context of suggesting it as an appetizer for (I assume, their) family, or as something to bring to a party.

Hmmmm... when I make it, even for just me and the headship here at the notfundy homestead, I gotta put in at least two avocados.  We love us some guacamole.  

The avocado + lime & kosher salt (as @elliha says above) is all you really need.  Sometimes I mix in a little medium-to-hot tomato-based salsa.   (That can work really well, actually.)   Sometimes a little ground cumin if not using the salsa.  Never sour cream.  But again  - what I mostly noticed was the small quantity this would make with only one avocado.    

[withaj]

13 minutes ago, notfundy said:

So.... I just looked at her recipe for guacamole and it only calls for ONE avocado.  ONE avocado.  And that is in the context of suggesting it as an appetizer for (I assume, their) family, or as something to bring to a party.

Hmmmm... when I make it, even for just me and the headship here at the notfundy homestead, I gotta put in at least two avocados.  We love us some guacamole.  

The avocado + lime & kosher salt (as @elliha says above) is all you really need.  Sometimes I mix in a little medium-to-hot tomato-based salsa.   (That can work really well, actually.)   Sometimes a little ground cumin if not using the salsa.  Never sour cream.  But again  - what I mostly noticed was the small quantity this would make with only one avocado.    

Yep. The amount of avocado Erika uses is basically just food coloring... 

I'm also a fan of avocado + lime + kosher salt, since the basics are really the best. But if I'm thinking about it ahead of time, I'll also add pico de gallo to make the real thing. The Pioneer Woman's recipe is my favorite. (Her salsa is the absolute bomb, too. I've gotten so many people hooked on it.)

[princessmahina]

I assume it's doled out carefully to avoid gluttony. *smirk*

[Guest]

I think Erika would be the type who puts all the blame on the child (or adult child) for going astray.  She's probably very sympathetic to Chris and Wendy, after all those ungrateful girls had such a wonderful, godly upbringing.   I think Erika loves her kids, but would cut them off without a second thought if they did something she didn't like.  She reminds me of Zsu that way.  

[Anonymousguest]

I think it's possible, and even likely Erika is unaware of the circumstances surrounding the 4 oldest Jeubs. Certainly she would not know that Lydia is pregnant, and she definitely wouldn't be reading Cynthia's blog. I doubt she knows that they oldest daughter is married to a Muslim. Her only source of info would be the parents blog, or maybe just their Facebook. I'd bet all she knows about then is they publish Christian debate material and have a super sized family.

 

If she did know, she would be shocked, it would shake her, I know this because that's how I felt. And it's how everyone I've mentioned it to has felt, and not one of them had known about it, and several of them are long time debating families. There is an idea. A promise even, from home schoolers that if you protect and isolate your kids they will turn out to be perfect Christians. The parents image of a perfect Christian.

 

Eta, I should say if she heard it and*believed* it. One person I told rebuked me for gossiping. 

[Eternalbluepearl]

There are pictures of a pregnant Lydia on The Jeub Family facebook page. Lydia seems to be spending time with her family again. There are also pictures and posts about Alyssa who married a muslim man and lives abroad. Erika would know these things if she read their page. 

It surprises me that Erika would be such good friends with Wendy because the Jeubs don't strike me as particularly organized or tidy. I don't think the Jeubs strive for the perfection that Erika does and their kids are always not wearing shoes and running wild. The Shupe kids do not run wild and their shoes are neatly placed on that Costco shelf system we've seen in their garage and it's someone's job to tidy them throughout the week. 

[Koala]

9 hours ago, AbandonAllHope said:

 I think Erika loves her kids, but would cut them off without a second thought if they did something she didn't like.  She reminds me of Zsu that way.  

Which is to say she doesn't really love them at all?  

I agree that Erika would cut them off without a second thought, and Zsu Zsu has said as much, but I don't agree that they love their children.  I believe they love having lots of children in order to make themselves appear holy. I think they love that their children are able to do all of the work so they can live like queens (remember...Erika is NOT the main "do-er" in her home...an odd thing to say when you have nearly a dozen children).  But none of that is love.  Those children are workers at home and accessories in public.  That's not love...that's using someone.