Erika Shupe *grim rictus* Large Families on Purpose Part 3

[anjulibai]

We talked to DS's pediatrician this last summer. There's nothing physically wrong that he could see; he's due for another check-up soon, so we'll talk about it again. He also goes okay (except for poop) at daycare, most of the time. He's definitely trying to make a statement to my DH and me. He doesn't even want his diaper changed. 

Though just now, totally out of the blue, he said "I have to pee in the potty" and he went! So, progress? Seriously, this super frustrating. 

I know I'm not Erika, but mommy guilt can be so strong. I will say, though, stuff with fundies makes me know what NOT to do as a parent. 

[VodouDoll]

14 hours ago, anjulibai said:

I'm feeling embarassed because my nearly 4 year old son is still in diapers. Well, pull-ups, but he won't poop in the potty and is now beginning to refuse to go pee. He was making progress until we went to California for a visit over the summer and he's just regressed increasingly sense. I'm not really sure what to do. We did just buy him some new underpants for Christmas so hopefully that will encourage him, but at this point DH and I are super frustrated. I know it's not normal for him to still not be potty trained, but I'm not sure what to do. I just hope we can figure something out by this summer, because our second is due in August and I really don't want 2 in diapers at once.

Aw, don't feel bad. My brother and SIL spent six brutal months walking my 2.5 year old nephew to the toilet every fifteen minutes, all day, every day, no matter where they were or what they were doing before he got the hang of it. He just wasn't ready so it took forever and everyone was miserable. We waited until our daughter was 3.5 and showed interest and it was done in four days (though she still sleeps in a pull-up, doesn't like pooping in the potty, and has occasional accidents). Just like any other skill, a kid will do it when s/he's ready, and there's a learning curve so they won't be perfect right off the bat. Her doctor said it was fine, and it is. Potty training isn't a race. Your son will get it, I promise.

 

For my kid, the Time to Potty app was a game changer. It has a built in timer to remind me to take her to the bathroom every hour (you set the time interval you want) and a little video game she can play after she successfully goes, plus it's free. Since she never gets to play with our phones, this was hugely motivational for her.

[anjulibai]

I'll look into that app, thanks!

[Johanna25]

21 hours ago, Hisey said:

.... Anyhow, the end result was, we'd have surprise accidents at Home Depot, while company was over, in the car, etc, a few times a month. It didn't even occur to me to put her back in diapers. Wouldn't that have embarrassed her? Though she was only 3, she surely would have understood that was a step backwards into babydom. A toddler is not a machine, that you can put aside and figure out later. Anyhow, I thought those accidents were part of the process, no one is perfect at a new skill right away. 

I don't have many memories from before I was three, but one I do have was an evening when my Grandpa and uncle had come over to help my dad repair our refrigerator. I was very embarrassed that they saw me wearing diapers because I had wet the last of my training pants. Kids do feel shame, that was strong enough to make a permanent memory. Of course today at 65 it no longer embarrasses me, it's a sweet memory of relatives long passed on.

[LovelyLuna]

Of course Santa brought Erika a clock, a giant one at that. I can’t think of a more Erika gift. schedule making apps? Godly earplugs? 

[Antimony]

Looks like Erika saw Star Wars? ??

This has to be a sin

 

[mango_fandango]

6 minutes ago, Antimony said:

Looks like Erika saw Star Wars? ??

This has to be a sin

 

LOL wut? Unless she just happened to take a photo in front of the poster and didn't actually watch that at all. But I'd've thought she'd've added a disclaimer to the caption. I hope someone asks whether she actually saw it. Is Star Wars seen as some kind of Christian allegory in some circles? I can vaguely see how it could be.

[WhiteRun]

25 minutes ago, Antimony said:

Looks like Erika saw Star Wars? ??

This has to be a sin

 

My jaw dropped when I saw that. 
It must be a sin, Star Wars is a fantasy movie about fighting in space! Unless they see the rebel alliance as god fearing Christians and the dark side as atheists? 

[DaffyDill]

1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

LOL wut? Unless she just happened to take a photo in front of the poster and didn't actually watch that at all. But I'd've thought she'd've added a disclaimer to the caption. I hope someone asks whether she actually saw it. Is Star Wars seen as some kind of Christian allegory in some circles? I can vaguely see how it could be.

Yeah I can see how that would work for them. Especially when the movies mention things like the struggles characters have to stay on the side of The Force, or Light, rather than being seduced by the power etc of the Dark.

I can totally see Erika and her ilk creating a parallel between that and the daily struggles they all face as Christians to stay on the right path blah, blah, blah.

Interesting link from Wikipedia about Star Wars as an allegory doesn't really agree though: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosophy_and_religion_in_Star_Wars

Quote

 The concept of evil in Star Wars also resembles that of Manichaeism, which posits that good and evil are both real entities.[5] However, since Christianity views evil as the absence of good, the concept of evil in Star Wars conflicts with that of Christianity.[5]

This article goes into how parts of Star Wars can be used as an allegory for other religions, however.

Quote from same article credited to George Lucas:

Quote

"I don't see Star Wars as profoundly religious. I see Star Wars as taking all of the issues that religion represents and trying to distill them down into a more modern and more easily accessible construct that people can grab on to, to accept the fact that there's a greater mystery out there."[10]

Still, I am sure Erika knows better than George. After all, he only created the series... She, on the other hand, knows everything about everything because God tells her. She is THAT important.

[ViolaSebastian]

So Erika has put away the wholesome Christmas music (not the sort sung by any of those sinners!!!11!!) and is forcing the kids to listen to the complete unabridged KJV Bible in the car.  In all sincerity, I cannot imagine what could be more boring than that.  Goodness, crammed into a van with nine other kids listening to that would make me talk faster than anything the Stasi could dream up...

[IronicallyMaeve]

I looked it up. The thing is 80 hours long! o.o 

[princessmahina]

Erika has a website she goes to before she sees a movie- I think it's done by Focus on the Family (or whatever it's called). They must have give an OK to Star Wars for her to go see it. 

[ViolaSebastian]

8 minutes ago, princessmahina said:

Erika has a website she goes to before she sees a movie- I think it's done by Focus on the Family (or whatever it's called). They must have give an OK to Star Wars for her to go see it. 

OMG, the review is hilarious.  And you were right, they gave it a green for adults and teenagers and a yellow for kids.

Among the highlights:

Quote

Han and Leia reunite, hugging and holding each other affectionately.

Something tells me this wasn't a side hug....

Quote

Finn grabs Rey’s hand to run—a well-meaning gesture that Rey doesn’t much cotton to. And so she later grabs his wrist and leads him.

I'm going to pretend that I don't know why that's noteworthy, because I cannot handle that they object to this because it's a woman leading a man. 

Quote

One “d--n” and two uses of “h---."

Quote

When Kylo Ren confronts aged Resistance leader Lor San Tekka, Ren takes the opportunity to bait the guy.

“Look how old you’ve become,” he says.

“Something far worse has happened to you,” San Tekka says. And then he offers a thread of hope to the now-masked villain. “The First Order came from the Dark Side,” he says. “You did not.”

I like that. It illustrates the biblical point that while we all do evil deeds, we are not irredeemably evil. As dark as our souls are, there’s the hope of light that's freely given to each of us—the possibility of redemption.

Oh FFS...

http://www.pluggedin.com/movie-reviews/star-wars-the-force-awakens

[SoybeanQueen]

On 12/8/2015 at 3:07 PM, princessmahina said:

I don't get it either. As a kid, that would not have been a treat. That would have been "mom's depression is too bad for her to make dinner and there's not enough money to order a pizza." Maybe the kids are so desperate for something that isn't green that they enjoy it? Maybe they tell Erika they enjoy it so they don't get two salads in one day? Maybe they have to "enjoy" it or they get a beating? My mind boggles sometimes thinking about those poor kids.

Maybe my kids are weird, but they seriously love having popcorn for dinner, and they will clean out every single raw vegetable I have in the house along with it, quite happily. My youngest daughter requested raw cherry tomatoes for Christmas Eve dinner. She literally clutched the container to her chest and begged for them at the grocery store. It was a little random to add a plate of plain tiny tomatoes to the holiday buffet, but I did it.

They all love salad, too. Last time we went out to eat, I offered my 4 year old son all of the carb-tastic fried stuff on the kids menu, and he said, "can I just have a salad?"

Erica doesn't seem to feed them enough, if they're anything like my kids, they're hungry alllll the time. But the type of food she gives them could be stuff they actually enjoy.

15 hours ago, VodouDoll said:

We waited until our daughter was 3.5 and showed interest and it was done in four days (though she still sleeps in a pull-up, doesn't like pooping in the potty, and has occasional accidents). Just like any other skill, a kid will do it when s/he's ready, and there's a learning curve so they won't be perfect right off the bat.

I think this is one of the absolute best pieces of parenting advice. Everyone tries to force kids into toilet training so early, when they're really not ready, and so the child struggles, plus the parents essentially have to train themselves to constantly make sure the kiddo goes to the bathroom. It's not pleasant for anyone.

Someone thankfully told me early on that toilet training was easier if you wait for the child to be ready. My daughter was 3 and trained herself in 2 days. My youngest son was 3.5 and took about a week, but after that has never had an accident, and is even dry at night. No stress.

[SoybeanQueen]

On 12/27/2015 at 7:08 PM, anjulibai said:

I'm feeling embarassed because my nearly 4 year old son is still in diapers. Well, pull-ups, but he won't poop in the potty and is now beginning to refuse to go pee. He was making progress until we went to California for a visit over the summer and he's just regressed increasingly sense. I'm not really sure what to do. We did just buy him some new underpants for Christmas so hopefully that will encourage him, but at this point DH and I are super frustrated. I know it's not normal for him to still not be potty trained, but I'm not sure what to do. I just hope we can figure something out by this summer, because our second is due in August and I really don't want 2 in diapers at once.

It can be normal, and you shouldn't feel embarrassed. If he's regressing, though, he may be having some sort of problem, like constipation, that makes him not want to poop on the toilet.

[mango_fandango]

OOH. On the Star Wars photo Erika mentions that she's looking forward to taking the oldest five kids. That's down to and including Riley. Maybe she and Bob partly went to see if it was appropriate for them. Seems to have the thumbs up. Erika is much more liberal than some fundies in this regard. There is no way in hell the Duggars, Bateses or Maxwells would ever come near Star Wars, or The Hobbit for that matter.

[defraudingjezebel]

1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

OOH. On the Star Wars photo Erika mentions that she's looking forward to taking the oldest five kids. That's down to and including Riley. Maybe she and Bob partly went to see if it was appropriate for them. Seems to have the thumbs up. Erika is much more liberal than some fundies in this regard. There is no way in hell the Duggars, Bateses or Maxwells would ever come near Star Wars, or The Hobbit for that matter.

I'm glad you spotted that comment. I agree with what you said. I think Erika's willingness to expose her kids to "worldly" media gives traction to the argument that fundamentalism appeals to Erika's love of control and order rather than some deep sense of spirituality or morality. 

[Hisey]

On 12/26/2015 at 11:06 AM, Hisey said:

Quote

I know this is coming out weirdly formatted, but I just wanted to share my experience with a child who regresses in toilet training. My daughter, at about four, had a very negative experience with an automatic-flushing toilet (the toilet didn't do anything wrong, it just freaked my daughter out). After that, she was reluctant to spend any amount of time on the toilet. Peeing was OK, since it didn't require much of an investment of time.

We had good luck with a no-pressure bribing system. Basically, I bought a toy my daughter really wanted, and put it in a closet. She knew it was there, and that it was a reward that she could earn. I printed up a calendar of the current month. Each time she successfully used the potty for #2, we marked it off on the calendar. After about 7-10 checks, she got the toy. At that point, she was over her fear of the toilet (though she was wary of  those automatic flush toilets for many years).

I think this worked because she already knew how to use the toilet. It might not work well for a new trainee, who still needs to acquire certain vital skills. In my daughter's case, it was just about overcoming her fear of the toilet. I didn't pressure her to do this, the toy was its own motivation. (Pressuring people to do something that scares them rarely works, imo) I think it could work for overcoming other emotional reasons for regression, too.

If you have kids afraid of those automatic flush toilets (they startle me too!), you can help by draping a piece of toilet paper over the sensor device. That de-activates it.

[Jingerbread]

17 hours ago, SoybeanQueen said:

Maybe my kids are weird, but they seriously love having popcorn for dinner, and they will clean out every single raw vegetable I have in the house along with it, quite happily. My youngest daughter requested raw cherry tomatoes for Christmas Eve dinner. She literally clutched the container to her chest and begged for them at the grocery store. It was a little random to add a plate of plain tiny tomatoes to the holiday buffet, but I did it.

They all love salad, too. Last time we went out to eat, I offered my 4 year old son all of the carb-tastic fried stuff on the kids menu, and he said, "can I just have a salad?"

Erica doesn't seem to feed them enough, if they're anything like my kids, they're hungry alllll the time. But the type of food she gives them could be stuff they actually enjoy.

All of them, always liking the exact same things with no variety?  She's said her kids like different stuff, but she doesn't buy what they like because somehow it's not fair.

[Sundaymorning]

8 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

OOH. On the Star Wars photo Erika mentions that she's looking forward to taking the oldest five kids. That's down to and including Riley. Maybe she and Bob partly went to see if it was appropriate for them. Seems to have the thumbs up. Erika is much more liberal than some fundies in this regard. There is no way in hell the Duggars, Bateses or Maxwells would ever come near Star Wars, or The Hobbit for that matter.

What is the Star Wars movie like? Nudity, language, or anything else a fundie would find objectionable?

Also, normally, Erika isn't very fond of fiction, she heavily limits her daughters time on reading such books. I have to say I'm pretty astounded that she takes them to watch that movie. I mean, I'm relly glad for the kids, but still, I'm wondering if Bob somehow put some pills in Erika's food or something like that.

[princessmahina]

Erika reposted on how to leave the house. Apparently she takes taco popcorn to friends houses to eat while they're over there. This woman and popcorn...

[Guest]

8 minutes ago, princessmahina said:

Erika reposted on how to leave the house. Apparently she takes taco popcorn to friends houses to eat while they're over there. This woman and popcorn...

Maybe she was asked to bring an appetizer?  She brings a box of Froot Loops as dessert, so...

[picklepizzas]

1 hour ago, princessmahina said:

Erika reposted on how to leave the house. Apparently she takes taco popcorn to friends houses to eat while they're over there. This woman and popcorn...

i noticed she mentioned wendy jeub in her fb post; interesting to see she hasn't cut ties with them even in light of the scandalous unwed pregnancy! 

[mango_fandango]

Another day, another repost.

Gettin' real tired of your shit, Erika.

@picklepizzas: Hmm. The post is an old one, and in it Erika mentions the Wendy Jeub phrase "make a plan, implement the plan". Well, DUH. No shit. These fundies love to point out the bleeding obvious, don't they? But, in the words of Robert Burns, the best laid plans of mice and men gang oft agly (in other words, go to shit.)

[withaj]

25 minutes ago, picklepizzas said:

i noticed she mentioned wendy jeub in her fb post; interesting to see she hasn't cut ties with them even in light of the scandalous unwed pregnancy! 

Well the unwed mother storyline is an old one with the Jeubs, since Wendy was an unwed mother to her first two girls as a teenager, then Alicia was an unwed mother herself. I don't think Lydia's pregnancy is a huge shock at this point (and the Jeub Christmas letter didn't mention her pregnancy, just her engagement... ultimate eyeroll). I'm more surprised that Erika hasn't cut them off because of their decision to send the kids to school