Erika Shupe *grim rictus* Large Families on Purpose Part 3

[nausicaa]

23 hours ago, 19 cats and counting said:

I had an ex who's mother walked in while we were in the middle of, well sweet fellowship, to get his laundry.  I was mortified and he got a mouthful from me.  It was right after his 27th birthday and he had been living on his own for awhile.

Why is it always laundry that these chidults refuse to do? To me laundry is one of the easier (if not easiest) household tasks. If I had a helicopter mother I'd much rather she wash my dishes or cook a bunch of healthy meals for me to freeze. 

[anjulibai]

Erika uses "Tbl." in her rescipe - is that tablespoon? Or something else? 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

Which is to say she doesn't really love them at all?  

Oh, I agree with everything you said.  It's just that I think Erika (and Zsu) believe all those things ARE love.  Training then to do all the work, making them sacrifice their childhoods.  Twisted, huh?

[StepMonsterInLA]

18 hours ago, Rubaiyat said:

Heh.  i'm right there with you!  The more kids I had...the less stuff I brought!  We have two very important rules in our house, the second of which is "Mommy is not your Sherpa."  

The year I taught kindergarten (I got drafted!  I'm not exactly anyone's top pick ) I had a long talk with  my kiddos in the first week, starting with "your Mommy is not your Sherpa," and ending with "Mrs. Rubaiyat's lest favorite words in the English language are 'My mom didn't...'"  As in "my mom didn't put that in my bag" or "my mom didn't tell me that."  They caught on pretty quickly.  Sometimes they'd see me in the hall before class and turn to their parents "QUICK!!  Gimme my bag!!  Mrs. Rubaiyat will see you!!"  

Big ups to all the parents out there teaching your kiddos to do things like function in society, and care for their own needs, rendering them capable of leading happy, independent lives!!  

I love this. I seriously enjoy Sherpa-mommy watching while dropping the littles at school. Whenever I ask a kid to do something and his  dad jumps in and says I'll do it I yell Yay!  Daddy is moving out with you when you grow up To take out the trash, clear your dishes, bring in your groceries, etc. I don't wanna be a Sherpa!

[VodouDoll]

One day when my daughter was two she saw some kids walking home from school and fell MADLY in love with their backpacks. She thought backpacks were the coolest, most amazing and wonderful things ever. And I thought, "Score!" We went straight to the store, she picked out a little backpack for herself, I stuck a couple diapers, a box of crayons, and a baggie of Cheerios inside, and she's carried her own diaper bag ever since.

[princessmahina]

1 hour ago, anjulibai said:

Erika uses "Tbl." in her rescipe - is that tablespoon? Or something else? 

It's tablespoon.

I know fundies like Zsu like to talk about what they would do if one of their kids left the fold, but would they actually do it? There's a difference between talk and action. I guess we'll see at some point in the future. I could see Erika maintaining contact with her kids as long as they followed certain rules around her. After all, it looks like some of her siblings don't follow the same strict guidelines and she still lets them around her "precious muffins."

[defraudingjezebel]

9 minutes ago, princessmahina said:

It's tablespoon.

I know fundies like Zsu like to talk about what they would do if one of their kids left the fold, but would they actually do it? There's a difference between talk and action. I guess we'll see at some point in the future. I could see Erika maintaining contact with her kids as long as they followed certain rules around her. After all, it looks like some of her siblings don't follow the same strict guidelines and she still lets them around her "precious muffins."

I agree with you. I could see Erika maintaining contact with any breakaways but never publicly mentioning them, posting pictures with them, etc. It would align with her normal MO where she keeps up appearances despite what is going on behind the scenes. 

[Hane]

20 hours ago, Rubaiyat said:

Heh.  i'm right there with you!  The more kids I had...the less stuff I brought!  We have two very important rules in our house, the second of which is "Mommy is not your Sherpa."  

The year I taught kindergarten (I got drafted!  I'm not exactly anyone's top pick ) I had a long talk with  my kiddos in the first week, starting with "your Mommy is not your Sherpa," and ending with "Mrs. Rubaiyat's lest favorite words in the English language are 'My mom didn't...'"  As in "my mom didn't put that in my bag" or "my mom didn't tell me that."  They caught on pretty quickly.  Sometimes they'd see me in the hall before class and turn to their parents "QUICK!!  Gimme my bag!!  Mrs. Rubaiyat will see you!!"  

Big ups to all the parents out there teaching your kiddos to do things like function in society, and care for their own needs, rendering them capable of leading happy, independent lives!!  

I heart you for this and want to be your best friend.

Even though I had only one kid, I was the world's laziest mother. Forget your lunch/homework/cheerleading gear? Sucks to be you. (Unfortunately, my parents, who lived close to her schools, often got called to the rescue so I let them know my displeasure.) Out of socks and undies? You know where the washer is and how to use it.

Somehow, she is still alive at age 37 and does not hate me.

[Hisey]

5 hours ago, Hane said:

I heart you for this and want to be your best friend.

Even though I had only one kid, I was the world's laziest mother. Forget your lunch/homework/cheerleading gear? Sucks to be you. (Unfortunately, my parents, who lived close to her schools, often got called to the rescue so I let them know my displeasure.) Out of socks and undies? You know where the washer is and how to use it.

Somehow, she is still alive at age 37 and does not hate me.

I wouldn't want to make a habit of taking stuff to school. However, I try to model respect and caring to my kids. If I would do it for a friend, I'll do it for my kid. If I'd do it for my husband, I'll do it for my kid. And I'd certainly help a friend out who'd forgotten her purse or locked her keys in the car.

That means I'll take a forgotten lunch/homework in, if it happens once in a while. In actual practice, my kids forget their stuff only about 2-3 times per school year. They are always so apologetic when they ask me for help. I don't want to teach them that their needs are irrelevant, or that they need to suffer in order to learn a lesson, and I don't want them to see me helping their dad but not them. So I will help them out. But as I said, I wouldn't want to do it more than 3-4 times per year (per kid).

[Koala]

21 minutes ago, Hisey said:

I wouldn't want to make a habit of taking stuff to school. However, I try to model respect and caring to my kids. If I would do it for a friend, I'll do it for my kid. If I'd do it for my husband, I'll do it for my kid. And I'd certainly help a friend out who'd forgotten her purse or locked her keys in the car.

That means I'll take a forgotten lunch/homework in, if it happens once in a while. In actual practice, my kids forget their stuff only about 2-3 times per school year. They are always so apologetic when they ask me for help. I don't want to teach them that their needs are irrelevant, or that they need to suffer in order to learn a lesson, and I don't want them to see me helping their dad but not them. So I will help them out. But as I said, I wouldn't want to do it more than 3-4 times per year (per kid).

Yeah, I agree with this.  Especially lunch.  

I am big on teaching my kids how to function in the world- laundry, cleaning, that sort of thing.  They know that Mom is not a live in maid.  That said, I forget things all.the.time. and so does my husband.  We all help each other out. 

When I can't find my keys, everyone looks.  When my husband can't find his phone, no one complains...they just look until it's found.  So when the kids inevitably loose/forget something, we just go about fixing it.  No one makes a big deal, and everyone tries not to make it a habit.

I remember I used to help a 5th grade teacher with her class.  One day a student left her lunch in the classroom and she absolutely wouldn't allow her to go back and get it.  I was horrified that she was willing to make the child sit and watch her friends eat (AND go without lunch) just to prove a point.  I know for a fact that if she'd forgotten her's, she would have hauled the whole class back to get it without missing a beat.  
Anyway, I ended up going back for it.  Really changed the way I viewed the teacher though.

[Foudeb]

I think Zsu would be a lot less likely than Erika to cut of a kid. She'd do an about-face and explain to the world that whatever the kid is doing (going to uni, dating, a girl working outside the home etc) is actually godly and how dare the world criticise it. The way she did for all medicine is wrong, especially male OBGYNs who are all perverts, always, except when it's her twin pregnancy that's going wrong and then it's all right. Or modesty is very important, girls need to wear burqas to swim in- except when she's breastfeeding, and then flashing boobs is A-OK (and godly, and biblical).

Erika, on the other hand? she may still see the kid, but would publically say that she doesn't. The way that they cut off all contact with Bob's parents but still somehow see them.

Hopefully for the main victims here, many of them will break free and we'll get to compare styles for real.

[iweartanktops]

On 12/26/2015 at 3:52 PM, Jingerbread said:

Because she says the kids will play in the toilet unless she locks it.

I know we discussed this awhile ago, but I feel like this would be a non-issue if the kids were allowed to PLAY, in general. 

[Jingerbread]

8 hours ago, Koala said:

I remember I used to help a 5th grade teacher with her class.  One day a student left her lunch in the classroom and she absolutely wouldn't allow her to go back and get it.  I was horrified that she was willing to make the child sit and watch her friends eat (AND go without lunch) just to prove a point.  I know for a fact that if she'd forgotten her's, she would have hauled the whole class back to get it without missing a beat.  
Anyway, I ended up going back for it.  Really changed the way I viewed the teacher though.

Wha a terrible teacher!  Does she really think that a hungry child will be a learning child?  She sounds the sort who'd take a child's lunch away if their account was overdrawn, then toss it in front of the child.

[Hisey]

12 hours ago, iweartanktops6 said:

I know we discussed this awhile ago, but I feel like this would be a non-issue if the kids were allowed to PLAY, in general. 

Absolutely. I used to let my kids splash around in the sink with toys. No need for them to use the toilet.

[mango_fandango]

More evidence of the talk-to-text thing? 

hat is our van and we love it! The windows open, but they do not roll down. But there are special events just for the people in the back, so you can adjust the heat and air-conditioning temperatures for the front and the back separately or simultaneously. Really nice and spacious. Everyone can climb in and shut the doors out of the heat or the snow, and then take off codes and eat lunch, etc.

I thought they didn't eat in the van due to potential mess etc. Probably just those special crackers that can be eaten in one bite creating no crumbs etc, and apple slices that satiate their thirst so they don't have to pee or whatever. *rolls eyes*

Also, random I know, but "simultaneously" seems to be one of Erika's favourite words. I can't believe she consistently misspells "straight" yet spells "simultaneously" correctly.

[Hane]

On December 30, 2015 at 6:09 PM, Hisey said:

I wouldn't want to make a habit of taking stuff to school. However, I try to model respect and caring to my kids. If I would do it for a friend, I'll do it for my kid. If I'd do it for my husband, I'll do it for my kid. And I'd certainly help a friend out who'd forgotten her purse or locked her keys in the car.

That means I'll take a forgotten lunch/homework in, if it happens once in a while. In actual practice, my kids forget their stuff only about 2-3 times per school year. They are always so apologetic when they ask me for help. I don't want to teach them that their needs are irrelevant, or that they need to suffer in order to learn a lesson, and I don't want them to see me helping their dad but not them. So I will help them out. But as I said, I wouldn't want to do it more than 3-4 times per year (per kid).

I also did my best to model respect and caring, but had to go a little tough-love on my kid re organizational things. She learned that respect goes two ways: I was always available to help her with extracurriculars and social events, but she needed to remember that my office was 25 miles away from her school, and it was impossible for me to come running if she forgot a textbook. As I told her early on, "My job is going to the office every day. Your job is doing your homework." I was there for occasional support, but refused to be a helicopter mom who wouldn't allow her to do her own work and think for herself.

[desertvixen]

I also make guacamole one avocado at a time... because that's how much my 9 year old and I will eat in one meal.

[princessmahina]

Erika has a few words she uses way too often. The one that is really starting to get on my nerves is "desire." I guess I should just be happy she spells it correctly.

[Loveday]

3 minutes ago, princessmahina said:

Erika has a few words she uses way too often. The one that is really starting to get on my nerves is "desire." I guess I should just be happy she spells it correctly.

I notice this a lot among fundies. Why not just use the simple word 'want?' Ugh.

[princessmahina]

1 minute ago, Loveday said:

I notice this a lot among fundies. Why not just use the simple word 'want?' Ugh.

Between the Duggars and Erika, I've pretty much crossed "desire" out of my vocabulary, at least temporarily. 

[ViolaSebastian]

1 hour ago, desertvixen said:

I also make guacamole one avocado at a time... because that's how much my 9 year old and I will eat in one meal.

I would be interested in how they make one avocados worth of guac spread between 11 people.  Do they get just a tiny amount on each chip?  Or do each eat two chips worth?  Or is it like a "Long Winter" thing where Pa Shupe gets the biggest portion and Lilly and Lacey the smallest?  

[Anonymousguest]

I desire to purpose to be more orderly. 

Is"to purpose" similar to "fixin' to" in the south?

I'm purposing to wash the dishes?

 

[imokit]

3 hours ago, desertvixen said:

I also make guacamole one avocado at a time... because that's how much my 9 year old and I will eat in one meal.

LOL - I need at least two for me alone, but then my addiction has been documented since I was two 

[princessmahina]

1 hour ago, Anonymousguest said:

I desire to purpose to be more orderly. 

Is"to purpose" similar to "fixin' to" in the south?

I'm purposing to wash the dishes?

 

Fundie jackpot right there.

[Granwych]

1 hour ago, Loveday said:

I notice this a lot among fundies. Why not just use the simple word 'want?' Ugh.

Fundies need to bloviate (although I doubt that most of 'em don't know what the word means---)