Erika Shupe *grim rictus* Large Families on Purpose Part 3

[Antimony]

2 hours ago, JillyO said:

The 9-year-old Erika's talking about in that comment would have been Brandon. She seems to constantly just throw him in with the little kids (I guess it doesn't help that he basically looks the same age as his next-youngest siblings who are three and four years younger, but still). He still didn't get to brush his own teeth at an age when his older sisters had long been responsible for basically raising their siblings. Either he has some delays that Erika's not talking about, or she is just completely stunting normal development for him.

I cannot tell the younger boys apart to save my life. I just...can't do it. 

[elliha]

9 minutes ago, Anonymousguest said:

I'm lazy too, that's why I teach my kids to do things for themselves  its  way more work to bathe a 9yr old than to send them into the shower alone. I think it is a control issue.

Agreed, lazy parents try to delegate as much as possible... Win-win, the child learns skills and can pride themselves of the control they have gained over their lives and the parent can drink some damn coffee for a change without having someone scream "maaaaaaaaaaaaaamaaaaaaaa!" (well, I can dream...).

[FrumperSeamstress]

"Merry Jane shoes", "strait skirt" "low heals" 

That drives me nuts.

[Foudeb]

9 minutes ago, FrumperSeamstress said:

"Merry Jane shoes", "strait skirt" "low heals" 

That drives me nuts.

And this is the person who's teaching 9 young humans to read and write. The only person who'll teach them because public school is evil.

This is why I don't like the idea of homeschooling. Sure, the majority of homeschooling parents are likely to be great at it. But for those who aren't up to par, and there are some, there is no safety net for the kids.

[mango_fandango]

1 hour ago, Antimony said:

I cannot tell the younger boys apart to save my life. I just...can't do it. 

I can. You can tell who Riley is cos he's the only blond. Well, blonder than the other boys, at any rate. 

In this photo: Spencer is next to Melanie on the sofa. He's the youngest of the boys. Then, in front of them, left to right, it's Riley, Brandon and Tyler. 

 

[FrumperSeamstress]

I don't know if this has been posted yet, but lol at this comment on one of her femininity posts regarding hair:

Quote

Proverbs MamaNovember 8, 2011 at 4:22 PM

I don't know. I think you just really like your hair short, and you want the Bible to tell you it's okay. That's between you and God, though. We all interpret scripture differently.

 

[Jingerbread]

23 hours ago, Koala said:

I find that very disturbing.  She claims she "just hasn't had time" to teach a NINE year old to apply soap to a washrag? No.  This is a skill he should have acquired long ago.  

This is just wrong...so very wrong.  I am almost speechless.  She needs to get the hell off her blog and Facebook if she can no longer find the time to teach her children to do the most basic tasks.

Don't most kids learn to bathe themselves by observation and helping?  This is just demeaning for a kid, especially a boy, to need his body washed by his mother.  Controlling.

[desertvixen]

Agree with all the people saying that bathing your 9 year old is excessive.

I do start the water for the bath or shower for my 9 year old daughter, and I check her hair after she's washed and rinsed it.  She has longish hair, however.

[princessmahina]

According to my mother, I started showering myself when I was about seven, and brushing my own teeth about the same time. I think Erika would find, if she gave them the chance, that her children are more capable than she thinks. 

[divadivine]

My 4 year old goddaughter can wash her body in the bath without help. She needs help with her hair. She prefers to do things by herself. She loves playing in the tub. She sits in the tub and makes up stories, cooks up "meals" and mixes up concoctions using the cups and toys. She would never survive Shupedom. 

[desertvixen]

2 minutes ago, divadivine said:

My 4 year old goddaughter can wash her body in the bath without help. She needs help with her hair. She prefers to do things by herself. She loves playing in the tub. She sits in the tub and makes up stories, cooks up "meals" and mixes up concoctions using the cups and toys. She would never survive Shupedom. 

My daughter is the same way.  Mine used to really love long baths, so I would wash her hair at the start and then she could play happily until the water is icy-cold.  She loves to use her imagination.  And I don't lock up the bathroom or the snacks.

[mango_fandango]

The oldest five have seen Star Wars!!! Apparently the rest of them are at home ill with stomach flu. Wow, they seem to get that a LOT. I know they're a big family, which of course affects things. That means some of them will have been in the bathroom on towels, some having buckets in bed... I would hate to be in Stalag Shupe at any time, let alone during stomach flu season. Gack.

[Guest]

I think she was bathing Brandon at age 9 because he's a boy.  Erika has very strict and narrow definitions of gender.  Boys are full of energy, messy, loud, and dirty.  A 9 year old boy can't be trusted to wash thoroughly.  A 9 year old girl would be fine because girls are cleaner, neater, follow directions better, and want to please people more.  Or whatever, blahblahblah.  Like the way she makes the girls call one of their little brothers to carry something heavy instead of doing it themselves.  And the boys can only run errands with Bob (because he goes to manly places like the hardware store).  She's very rigid about the stupidest things.

Also, sometimes she lets the kids take a "play bath" in the afternoon.  One child at a time can sit in the water, have bubbles, and play with toys.  If they splash water around, it's all over.  But at least they get that, I guess.

[grandmadugger]

2 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

The oldest five have seen Star Wars!!! Apparently the rest of them are at home ill with stomach flu. Wow, they seem to get that a LOT. I know they're a big family, which of course affects things. That means some of them will have been in the bathroom on towels, some having buckets in bed... I would hate to be in Stalag Shupe at any time, let alone during stomach flu season. Gack.

Maybe if they were allowed outside they'd build up an immune system.

[DaffyDill]

9 hours ago, elliha said:

Agreed, lazy parents try to delegate as much as possible... Win-win, the child learns skills and can pride themselves of the control they have gained over their lives and the parent can drink some damn coffee for a change without having someone scream "maaaaaaaaaaaaaamaaaaaaaa!" (well, I can dream...).

It works! I used to tell my best friend "Slack parenting leads to independent children" as a joke, but in actual fact it kind of does. When my boys were 10-12, they were the only ones in their classes who packed their own lunches for school. When they were 16-17, they STILL pretty much were. 

Damn she's SO sanctimonious and self righteous! From the comments: 

Quote

We've had people say or ask us, "How do you do that?" "You should write a book!" "Your kids are so...happy...and so beautiful..." And on the book comment I've always said, "We don't have to; there's already one written, the Bible, and we follow those principles on everything."

*gag* *spew* *snort*

Erika sees herself as some sort of "Super Christian" I'm sure. The best of the best, unless she has to grow her hair, or something she doesn't want to do. Then the mental gymnastics start. She really sees herself as better than many of the women who follow her blog and FB. So much for being humble and having too much pride.

[Antimony]

The Bible doesn't tell me to lock my bathroom or make my bedroom into a fire hazard though,  much less to use a bleach pen or just ruin the concept of guacamole. 

[KylieJenner]

11 hours ago, FrumperSeamstress said:

I don't know if this has been posted yet, but lol at this comment on one of her femininity posts regarding hair:

 

This is great! That's the one verse of the bible that she clearly ignores. I personally can't stand her hair, and I just recently saw a wedding picture and it looks like she has been rocking that same hairstyle for decades. I guess God lets that slide.

[withaj]

13 minutes ago, KylieJenner said:

This is great! That's the one verse of the bible that she clearly ignores. I personally can't stand her hair, and I just recently saw a wedding picture and it looks like she has been rocking that same hairstyle for decades. I guess God lets that slide.

But, but, it's... whispy and feminine!! 

[KylieJenner]

1 minute ago, withaj said:

But, but, it's... whispy and feminine!! 

I forgot!

It's clearly a typo in the bible- don't worry about, Erika. But the rest of the KJV runs true! You do you.

[Eternalbluepearl]

I'm glad Erika doesn't follow Bible-prescribed rules for her hair. Maybe there is a little independent thought in her after all. Go with that, Erika. YOU make your own decisions regarding your body. 

[KylieJenner]

14 minutes ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

I'm glad Erika doesn't follow Bible-prescribed rules for her hair. Maybe there is a little independent thought in her after all. Go with that, Erika. YOU make your own decisions regarding your body. 

Which is great... for Erika. Her poor kids don't even get to bathe themselves. They aren't allowed independence and that's why it's so disturbing.

[Koala]

5 hours ago, DaffyDill said:

When my boys were 10-12, they were the only ones in their classes who packed their own lunches for school. When they were 16-17, they STILL pretty much were. 

 

See, I don't get how that happens.  My kids are almost 11 and 12, and they also pack their lunches (healthy, well balanced lunches at that).  

I think it's very important for kids to learn basic life skills.  Seeing my nephew expect his mother to wait on him hand and foot was a real wake up call to me.   

[usmcmom]

If Erika is still bathing her nine-year-old, does that mean she's bathing the younger boys as well?  Or is it just the older one?  How strange (okay even MORE strange) if she's bathing the older one but letting the younger ones be independent.

I agree with those who said this is degrading to a child.  I'm not sure how many other non-sibling kids he's around but he must be embarrassed to know he's being bathed by his mother when similar aged boys have privacy in the bathroom.  I know Erika does not believe in privacy for her kids but this really bothers me and is downright invasive and degrading for this little boy.

I also agree with those who have said that, by nine years old, there should not be much to "teach" with regards to bathing.  He should have picked up all there is to know over the years of being bathed by a parent as he was little.  I mean, don't we just start them out by saying "Okay, YOU get to wash yourself this time. Just do what Mommy or Daddy has done for you in the bath."  Then you monitor and help them with any problems that arise.  Seriously, how hard is this?  One or two supervised sessions and then  it's "Go take your bath now." 

As for bathing the little ones once a week, I seriously doubt that it's because she's determined that's all that is needed.  In Erika's case, I'm sure it is to save water and time and to preserve her schedule as long as possible.  Once a week bathing works for some little ones for different reasons, but her thinking is likely backward from that of other moms.  She likely plans her kids' week so they don't need a bath. 

Bottom line, if she is so overwhelmed with her large family that she cannot "find time" to teach them basic grooming skills, then she is not the super organized mother she claims to be.  She also needs to give some serious thought to the idolizing of her schedule.  She thinks it helps her to be a better mother. Clearly, it is a stumbling block for her. 

[Eternalbluepearl]

20 minutes ago, KylieJenner said:

Which is great... for Erika. Her poor kids don't even get to bathe themselves. They aren't allowed independence and that's why it's so disturbing.

Yes, I so agree. I should have added that. I want that independent thought to extend to her kids as well. 

[Eternalbluepearl]

20 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

Bottom line, if she is so overwhelmed with her large family that she cannot "find time" to teach them basic grooming skills, then she is not the super organized mother she claims to be.  

I agree that she should be teaching grooming skills but also...Why can't Bob do anything? Could he tell his 9 year old son how to bathe?

Erika is slow when it comes to allowing the kids to do anything. This could be part of her "greenhousing" of the children. She wants to be so sure that things are done correctly (like teeth brushing, bathing, thinking) that the kids can't try for themselves until they are older than usual.