Spurgeon? Jessa's Poor Baby Part 2

[Jingerbread]

I do have to say -- I work damn hard at my job(s) and my tattoos are no indication of how hard I work. Why should tattoos have to be considered "unprofessional?" I just think some of these constructs are ridiculous.

To an extend, a willingness to conform matters to us all.  Would you take a doctor seriously if he had a tattoo on his forehead of Donald Duck?  Would you feel comfortable with a medical provider who had his sleeves rolled up to show a swastika tattoo, even if he was no longer a neo-nazi?  I went to a doctor once who had a swastika, and I never went back.  Was I wrong to judge?

I don't really think the problem is tattoos on general, but the kind of tattoo and where.  A person tatting their face to look like  a lizard just isn't going to be taken seriously on the job, and a person with an uncovered tattoo on her leg of a naked Tinkerbell fucking a light switch is going to get kicked out of Legoland (http://www.buzzfeed.com/vdlr/mom-kicked-out-of-legoland-for-naked-tinkerbell-ta-44qs).

Tattoos are a reflection of the person with them.  People often get them to share part of who they are in the inside on the outside.  If I see a cross, I know that person is most probably a Christian.  A Mickey Mouse tattoo is probably someone who likes Disney.  Anyone with a Twilight tattoo or Harry Potter tattoo are going to be fans.  Lots of sports-team-themed tattoos.  But when you get someone with vulgar tattoos, tattoos associated with hate groups or gangs, things are different.  A neo-nazi might not feel that a swastika is inappropriate since some skinheads think it's a religion.  That woman with the naked Tinkerbell porn tattoo didn't think it was inappropriate to display to children. 

But where is that line drawn?  What's acceptable to one person won't be to another.  Some people wouldn't have a problem with a judge whose face is tattood up like a lizard.  Would anyone take a doctor seriously if he had tattooed tear drops?  So I think it's easier to say that tattoos in general are unprofessional than it is to trust people to find a line, and that's why they're seen as unprofessional.  I think we will all agree that there is a line.  What happens when we can't all agree?  Just say it's up to each employer?  Eliminate the line by saying they're all unprofessional?

It really wasn't long ago that tattoos were still almost always for people who were rebellious.  Society still thinks about that, and it's slowly changing.

To state for the record, I think most tattoos are find, but I wouldn't trust that doctor or judge, and left one medical practice because I wouldn't get over that swastika tattoo on that doctor.  He might have done a good job and might not have still been supporting nazis, but I couldn't deal with it.  

[Cerealgirl]

"How long does it take to call the ambulance and then get to the ER?  It's possible to bleed out within that time."

But... Jesus will protect them.

*oops I messed up the quote.

[ksgranola1]

I used to work in a women's clinic & one patient had a tweetie bird tattoo on her lower belly. As her pregnancy progressed, Tweetie's head got longer & longer. By the time she was full term it was hideously distorted. Funny as hell. Wish I had pictures.

[Cassielfsw]

To state for the record, I think most tattoos are find, but I wouldn't trust that doctor or judge, and left one medical practice because I wouldn't get over that swastika tattoo on that doctor.  He might have done a good job and might not have still been supporting nazis, but I couldn't deal with it.  

I'm totally with you on that one. It shows EXTREMELY poor judgement (and that's putting it mildly) to get that kind of tattoo in the first place, and even assuming he has come to his senses, to not have had it removed and still display it in public. I would have been out the door the second I saw it. 

[Cerealgirl]

"The other help would be great for cooking, cleaning, laundry, running errands etc."

She has a husband.  Her husband doesn't have a job.  He should be doing those things, not other people.

But that's women's work.

[eandre31]

I don't understand why so many FJers are so vehemently against home birth even with a midwife. 

I certainly wouldn't choose it myself because I am a worrier and prefer to have the option of an epidural, but I wouldn't put down a woman for having a home birth for a low risk pregnancy with a midwife present. I certainly would never insinuate that women who home birth are dumb, don't care about their child's welfare, or that homebirthing should be restricted by the government. 

I believe women can make decisions for their bodies and babies and it scares me how many people seem to wish homebirthing was illegal or something. 

If I'm missing something please let me know.

[kimhoward]

"I just have trouble dealing with the seemingly lack of concern for both mother and child that these people have during childbirth. I just can't see taking the risk when you can have a natural delivery in a birthing center or hospital where help is available if needed."

These people believe its OK for women to risk their health by having lots of kids, because if you die, you did it for Jesus. i.e. a Martyr complex.  I  guess it's not that big of a leap to taking risks with childbirth.  

[BunnyBee]

Sort of threw up in my mouth a little reading that.  Er, thanks.

am I the only person that read the passive aggressiveness in this "open letter", does Jessa not serve Jesus Christ daily like you do Jill, is that why you need to blatantly/publicly remind her? hmmm speculation boat over here 

[EmmieJ]

Jill claimed the exact same thing.

Isn't being a wife and mother their ONLY purpose in life? Weird.

I was/am a single mom, from the start.  Until he began going to daycare, I changed every single diaper.  I don't begrudge any new mom having a partner or family/friends who help out by changing the baby's diapers.  

[rhianna]

I don't understand why so many FJers are so vehemently against home birth even with a midwife. 

I certainly wouldn't choose it myself because I am a worrier and prefer to have the option of an epidural, but I wouldn't put down a woman for having a home birth for a low risk pregnancy with a midwife present. I certainly would never insinuate that women who home birth are dumb, don't care about their child's welfare, or that homebirthing should be restricted by the government. 

I believe women can make decisions for their bodies and babies and it scares me how many people seem to wish homebirthing was illegal or something. 

If I'm missing something please let me know.

Because

1. Homebirths have been shown in many studies to have worse outcomes: (quoting a previous post of mine)  here is a link to a 2014 abstract in which 10 million (!!) cases of hospital midwife vs. home midwife vs. birthing center midwife vs. home "other" were analyzed, showing increased risk of neonatal mortality for all non-hospital births. Specific relative risk is below; a higher relative risk is worse. 

3.1/10,000 (RR:1); home others: 18.2/10,000 (RR: 5.87; 95%CI: 4.21-8.19), home midwives: 13.2/10,000; (RR: 4.32 95%CI: 3.29-5.68), freestanding birthing center: 6.3/10,000;(RR: 2.03; 95%CI: 1.28-3.24). 

Science daily also said that this study shows that the  "absolute risk of neonatal mortality was 3.2/10,000 births in midwife hospital births, and 12.6/10,000 births in midwife home births." http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/02/140203084527.htm

 

2. As far as I know, the only benefit to homebirth is that it allows the mother to be more comfortable during the birth process: i.e. there isn't data to show that morbidity/mortality is improved

3. We consistently judge pregnant women for the decisions they make regarding their bodies during pregnancy (e.g. smoking, drinking) and no one has a problem with that. 

[roddma]

Becauseu I or some here support choice doesnt mean we support risky or dangerous ones. I do feel some women arent' informed on the risks of home birththe way they know about the dangers of smoking etc. And if sol, there are pro home birth proponents who shame women into feeling like they failed if they choose another way.

[BlackberryGirl]

My husbands family is from Mississippi. He is 66. He STILL calls his father "Daddy" as do I.  right now we call each other Mommy and Papa, since we are raising grands. When our own kids were young it was Mommy and Daddy.

 We seldom call each other by name. it's either pet names or  Mommy and papa.  I don't know if it's regional, rural, age related. My own parents almost never used their names, 

 

Oh and as far as trashing the wedding couple's ride/hotel suite.. etc..it seems to me to be a variant of the  old  :shivaree"

( In the US the shivaree is still prevalent in small, rural communities, especially in the mid west. It is NOT in the most part a negative or judgmental ceremony, but a pagan, joyous, riotous custom of chaos and disruption of wedding ceremonies. Often the bride is kidnapped and the groom "jailed". Before the honeymoon, friends and family booby trap the honeymoon locale with shorted sheets, blocked toilets and drunken obnoxious clatter, in a spirit of teasing or fun.)

[Bad Wolf]

Not my idea of teasing or fun, especially the blocked toilet.

( In the US the shivaree is still prevalent in small, rural communities, especially in the mid west. It is NOT in the most part a negative or judgmental ceremony, but a pagan, joyous, riotous custom of chaos and disruption of wedding ceremonies. Often the bride is kidnapped and the groom "jailed". Before the honeymoon, friends and family booby trap the honeymoon locale with shorted sheets, blocked toilets and drunken obnoxious clatter, in a spirit of teasing or fun.)

[Srilaura]

http://throughtheeyesofspurgeon.com

[housetyrell]

I don't understand why so many FJers are so vehemently against home birth even with a midwife. 

I certainly wouldn't choose it myself because I am a worrier and prefer to have the option of an epidural, but I wouldn't put down a woman for having a home birth for a low risk pregnancy with a midwife present. I certainly would never insinuate that women who home birth are dumb, don't care about their child's welfare, or that homebirthing should be restricted by the government. 

I believe women can make decisions for their bodies and babies and it scares me how many people seem to wish homebirthing was illegal or something. 

If I'm missing something please let me know.

I agree with you 100%. I personally want to have my future children in a hospital, mostly because I am a very anxious person who wants the comfort knowing a NICU is nearby. However, I would never judge someone for having a home birth. As long as it's done safely, the mother is close enough to a hospital, and the pregnancy isn't considered to be high risk. 

[Grace]

Bleeding is a risk yes, but if she'd had that hemorrhage in a hospital they could have given her an injection right away to stop it.  The fact she has a family history of bleeds (her mother) + a 10 pound baby really should have had her in a hospital for this birth.  It's possible to labor in a hospital with a CNM and only call in a doctor if things take a turn for the worse.
How long does it take to call the ambulance and then get to the ER?  It's possible to bleed out within that time.

Just for the sake of accuracy....Not here in Northwest Arkansas. There are no hospitals who have CNMs on staff. There is the birthing center, but it isn't physically attached to a hospital.

[mairmo]

Yeah, I'm 35 and still call my parents Daddy and Momma.  It's definitely a southern thing.  I'm a professional with a master's degree and have a child of my own.

I am so glad you said that. I'm 24 and not from the south, but whenever I go shopping with my mom and say, "Momma, look at this," or "Did daddy go to the car?" people give me the weirdest looks. My husband thinks I'm looney. Others have told me that if you're over 18, "daddy" is a purely sexual term. And I think that's super weird. 

[BarbaraMary]

I agree - using Daddy as a sexual term is wackadoo. I am on the west coast of Canada and in my late twenties and still call my dad Daddy at times. I also refer to my husband as Daddy when talking to my kids about him.

[ClaraOswin]

Just for the sake of accuracy....Not here in Northwest Arkansas. There are no hospitals who have CNMs on staff. There is the birthing center, but it isn't physically attached to a hospital.

Does the birthing center transfer people to the hospital in an emergency? I think that's what the birthing center near me does. 

I liked having an ob/gyn. But my hospital does have CNMs on staff according to their website.

[CatsRevenge]

An article just popped up on my facebook about people with weird names.  I want to link it but don't know how, or if it's ok.  One of them is Ya' Hyness and a teacher submitted it because it's her students real name.  Another is of a man who was arrested and his name is Beezow Doo-Doo Zoppitybop-Bop-Bop.  There are some real doozies in the article and even after reading it I still think Spurgeon is one of the worst lol

 

[Cerealgirl]

Because

1. Homebirths have been shown in many studies to have worse outcomes: (quoting a previous post of mine)  here is a link to a 2014 abstract in which 10 million (!!) cases of hospital midwife vs. home midwife vs. birthing center midwife vs. home "other" were analyzed, showing increased risk of neonatal mortality for all non-hospital births. Specific relative risk is below; a higher relative risk is worse. 

3.1/10,000 (RR:1); home others: 18.2/10,000 (RR: 5.87; 95%CI: 4.21-8.19), home midwives: 13.2/10,000; (RR: 4.32 95%CI: 3.29-5.68), freestanding birthing center: 6.3/10,000;(RR: 2.03; 95%CI: 1.28-3.24). 

Science daily also said that this study shows that the  "absolute risk of neonatal mortality was 3.2/10,000 births in midwife hospital births, and 12.6/10,000 births in midwife home births." http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/02/140203084527.htm

 

2. As far as I know, the only benefit to homebirth is that it allows the mother to be more comfortable during the birth process: i.e. there isn't data to show that morbidity/mortality is improved

3. We consistently judge pregnant women for the decisions they make regarding their bodies during pregnancy (e.g. smoking, drinking) and no one has a problem with that. 

I think there's a portion that do have a problem with it. That's why they go to the hospital.

I wouldn't say it should be outlawed because you can't enforce it and choice and all that. But like smoking or drinking, it's a risk. Imo, not a smart one. Anything could go wrong very quickly. What if you had an undetected heart condition? Is it worth risking yours or your baby's life?

[Duggarsdugup]

What post was this about? I'm intrigued. 

oh, I was asking about how you do uterine massage after birth. I've never given birth so I was wondering how how it was done.

[KnittingOwl]

How long does it take to call the ambulance and then get to the ER?  It's possible to bleed out within that time.

In my friend's case, her midwife wouldn't wait for the ambulance. The midwife drove her to the emergency room who was prepared and had the OB attending waiting. Friend ended up needing a transfusion, but it could have been much much worse. 

[mizandry]

New poster here. I'm delayed with my snark on the "Spurgeon" surprise, but nevertheless...

  

I seriously keep misreading (and wanting to type) this name as Spungeon... (which probably means it's meant to be as far as my personal nickname for the kid goes). Hopefully this will help me to unsee the "purge on" in his first name, because that's just unfortunate. I also keep thinking of pigeon shit, which may be due to the "-geon" part or something. ehck

I would honestly feel bad for snarking on this baby's name if not for the fact that he's related to a family that has (for instance) jokingly suggested names like "JaMocha" during past pregnancies as a way to make fun of the names black people may choose for their children. I don't doubt these kinds of racist attitudes towards any non-White sounding name a person of color gives their child will continue to ruminate in that household (even with a name like "Spurgeon" in their family line), but it definitely opens up the doors for me in terms of how deserving they are of snark for trying to go tryndy and Meaningful with the names. It looks to me like a blatant demonstration of white privilege and I can't stop rolling my eyes in contempt at this name. 

[morri]

a persons name he is an author so i dont mind sharing his name is campbell jefferys. goes by Cam though but is also one of these names that could work the other way around.