Jill Duggar Dillard Pt 7 - Y'all Wanna Pay for My Vacation?

[EmmieJ]

https://www.healthcare.gov/young-adults/children-under-26/   LOTS of good info in plain English esp for 20-somethings facing their first independent health insurance decisions. 

Yes, Jill could be on JimBoob's insurance (if he indeed has a regular insurance plan) until she is 26 even if married.  Interesting aspect of the ACA (Affordable Care Act/ObamaCare)!    Many interesting aspects that the kneejerkers shouting "REPEAL OBAMACARE" at every turn may not even know are PART of the law. That, and no pre-existing condition exclusion and no lifetime limits on coverage (used to be common to have a $1million limit, easy to hit it with a preemie or with an organ transplant).

 

 

 

Thanks for the info - that's pretty cool.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

Thankfully, my youngest is 4 1/2 now.  

[SportsgalAnnie]

I don't know how old you were when you were "on a leash" but both my kids were early walkers and they each, in turn, wore a little halter with a sort of leash attached from around age 10 -18 months and a Velcro wrist band attached to a spiral cord after that until they were around 3 whenever we went to places (like a mall) where they could become distracted and wander off.  It gave them more range than just holding our hands, and reduced our fears for their safety.  I never saw it as an instrument of control or discipline.

that's how my parents/aunt and uncle did it.

[karen77]

Hidden Content

Thankfully, my youngest is 4 1/2 now.  

So, you made it to the F. U. Fours??? 

[xlurker]

Regarding discipline, I had one hard and fast rule "Don't embarass Mommy". At home, tantrums were tolerated, the child would be put in thier room to scream/cry/kick it out if they were unhappy with me or just circumstances in general. In public, I would remind them (from around the age of 2 1/2)  don't embarass me!  LOL For the most part, they got it and would wait until we were in a private space to lose it.  Have to say, they also learned what the word "no" meant, and what respect was--yet it was all done without beatings or blanket training.  

[doubleT]

According to Jill's post on Instagram yesterday, lost boy Justin has a nickname .... Juddy Buddy.  I wonder if he ever gets confused with Jana Buddy? 

[NotAnIncubator]

@ClaraOswin and @EmmieJ, if you'll notice I said for a place to calm down or for a spanking. I'm not instructing them to spank them but if your child is flipping out and especially if they're being destructive, they need somewhere else to breathe and calm down. I've worked for quite some time at a chain grocery store and see parents blatantly not give a crap their banshee is throwing food around in the isles and in my opinion, not correcting it in any way is the problem. So yes I may gently nudge them in the direction of the bathroom but again, not saying you have to spank but pointing out its effectiveness. 

I have been told by outsiders not to spank and it didn't offend me at all. Its their opinion and it is perfectly legal in the state of Georgia to spank a child on the bottom with an open hand. We don't believe in spanking with spoons, straps, belts or various other objects. Very similar to the prochoice/prolife arguement, what I'm doing is legal and its my personal choice for our family. People don't like it but its what works best for the family.

[nst]

according to another poster - they are blanket training due to a blanket on the floor - izzy doesn't look all that scared though 

[foreign fundie]

I have a child who spent a considerable amount of time in ICU. After being released she had control issues. It was vital for her recovery that she'd eat, but she refused. We tried everything, even eventually a butt spanking as a last resort. Of course that didn't work either, but if your toddler refuses to eat for weeks on end and is too weak to stand, you try anything. But we soon reaslized making a child eat is impossible. Even if you push it in her mounth you can't make her swallow. We gave up trying and she lived on fortified milk. Later she slowely started eating again. But for years after, she still had these meltdowns about trivial things (wrong color socks). She would completely loose it, hurt herself and anybody in a room with her. It could last an hour or longer. I would take her to the room in which she could do least damage, sit with my back against the door so she couldn't leave, and cover my head with my arms to protect myself while she went wild. And wait it out. Believe me I tried every method discussed up thread, but in the end I just had to wait it out. The tantrums lasted till she was about nine and then she grew out of it. I often wondered if the neighbours thought I was torturing her... Just saying, we don't always know the reasons for kids' bad behavior or their parents' clumsy responses. 

By the way, she is now a well adapted, smart and fun teen whom we are immensly proud of. Still has medical issues, but handeling them very maturely.

[ClaraOswin]

@ClaraOswin and @EmmieJ, if you'll notice I said for a place to calm down or for a spanking. I'm not instructing them to spank them but if your child is flipping out and especially if they're being destructive, they need somewhere else to breathe and calm down. I've worked for quite some time at a chain grocery store and see parents blatantly not give a crap their banshee is throwing food around in the isles and in my opinion, not correcting it in any way is the problem. So yes I may gently nudge them in the direction of the bathroom but again, not saying you have to spank but pointing out its effectiveness. 

I have been told by outsiders not to spank and it didn't offend me at all. Its their opinion and it is perfectly legal in the state of Georgia to spank a child on the bottom with an open hand. We don't believe in spanking with spoons, straps, belts or various other objects. Very similar to the prochoice/prolife arguement, what I'm doing is legal and its my personal choice for our family. People don't like it but its what works best for the family.

I don't care if you're directing someone to the bathroom to spank or just for "calm down" time or whatever. It's not really your place to do that sort of thing unless someone is asking for your advice or help.

Maybe what works best for THAT family is just ignoring their child's tantrum? Again..not really your place to butt in.

[justoneoftwo]

I don't care if you're directing someone to the bathroom to spank or just for "calm down" time or whatever. It's not really your place to do that sort of thing unless someone is asking for your advice or help.

Maybe what works best for THAT family is just ignoring their child's tantrum? Again..not really your place to butt in.

Does this change if the child is being destructive to others or their property?  Of is it up to the owner to ask them to leave?  Just wondering your opinion on that, as for me that is when it gets harder to find the appropriate line.  

[ClaraOswin]

I have a child who spent a considerable amount of time in ICU. After being released she had control issues. It was vital for her recovery that she'd eat, but she refused. We tried everything, even eventually a butt spanking as a last resort. Of course that didn't work either, but if your toddler refuses to eat for weeks on end and is too weak to stand, you try anything. But we soon reaslized making a child eat is impossible. Even if you push it in her mounth you can't make her swallow. We gave up trying and she lived on fortified milk. Later she slowely started eating again. But for years after, she still had these meltdowns about trivial things (wrong color socks). She would completely loose it, hurt herself and anybody in a room with her. It could last an hour or longer. I would take her to the room in which she could do least damage, sit with my back against the door so she couldn't leave, and cover my head with my arms to protect myself while she went wild. And wait it out. Believe me I tried every method discussed up thread, but in the end I just had to wait it out. The tantrums lasted till she was about nine and then she grew out of it. I often wondered if the neighbours thought I was torturing her... Just saying, we don't always know the reasons for kids' bad behavior or their parents' clumsy responses. 

By the way, she is now a well adapted, smart and fun teen whom we are immensly proud of. Still has medical issues, but handeling them very maturely.

Yep...this is one of the many reasons I think it's inappropriate for someone to butt in if a child is throwing a fit. An outsider has no clue what else could be going on under the surface. I know if anyone ever says anything to me...it will take a lot of self control not to lose my cool in front of my child.

Does this change if the child is being destructive to others or their property?  Of is it up to the owner to ask them to leave?  Just wondering your opinion on that, as for me that is when it gets harder to find the appropriate line.  

Me, personally...I wouldn't step in at all. I'd probably go find security or an employee. 

The only time I could see myself stepping in would be if another child was being physically harmed. (Thankfully I've never encountered this sort of thing.)

[ClaraOswin]

Yeesh....

 

[HarleyQuinn]

Jill is such a teenager. Lol

Honestly, all I could think of in Israel's army crawl video was "don't get to far off of that blanket " 

[nst]

Jill is such a teenager. Lol

Honestly, all I could think of in Israel's army crawl video was "don't get to far off of that blanket " 

and they don't even kiss well. in my opinion there is no passion there 

 

[twinmama]

Now that I'm a mom, I can't fathom hitting my guys. Time outs and "the look" seem to work really well for our family, even though my dude is different and behaving well in public is a big challenge, we get complemented on his behavior a lot.

With my 3 year old, almost 4 now, twins, I can't imagine hitting them because I spend most of my day trying to stop them from hitting each other! How the fuck do you teach a child not to hit, BY HITTING THEM?

[MyMilkshake]

I thought those videos were clear evidence that they are blanket training. Blanket training doesn't mean they don't want him to learn to crawl or to pull to stand.  It means that when the blanket is out and down he is expected to stay on it.  Since this is the very beginning of mobility this would also be the beginning of shaping that behavior.  It seemed to me that they were intentional about not asking him to leave the blanket space. 

The point is about having obedient children.   There is a common phrase in fundie-land that I can't quite remember but it's basically first time obedience.  Those arrows in your quiver need to be sharpened so that they can be um.. soldiers for God.. or something ,

 

This is making the rounds on another Duggar thread.  It's not about blanket trainning, but it's relivent to parenting methods I suppose. 

And a quick google found me this blog where the poster uses the Duggars suggestion to blanket train: http://lifewiththelittlers.blogspot.com/2012/03/blanket-training-101.html

And another from a blogger I believe some FJers follow:

http://www.yestheyareallours.com/2015/02/blanket-training-101.html

with the quote "There's no need to start training a baby to a blanket until they begin to become mobile. The exact age will vary widely, due to differences in development.  I started training most of my babies to a blanket at around 7 to 9 months of age.
"

"An excellent gift idea". LOL okay. Can you imagine a small child opening a present and mom saying, "This is from your Auntie. It's to spank you with". WTF?
 

[HarleyQuinn]

and they don't even kiss well. in my opinion there is no passion there 

 

 

 

 

It reminds me of how I probably kissed my first boyfriend.....in grade seven. 

[withaj]

According to Jill's post on Instagram yesterday, lost boy Justin has a nickname .... Juddy Buddy.  I wonder if he ever gets confused with Jana Buddy? 

I don't think that's really his nickname -- she's saying that because he's actually her "buddy" from her buddy team.

ETA -- for some reason I was thinking Jessa (in the Jill thread... I know!). Justin is Jessa's buddy, not Jill's, so I guess it's a nickname. Or maybe they just add Buddy to everything...

[notfundy]

Yeesh....

 

SERIOUSLY??  I mean -  seriously?  We get it - he's your man and all that.  And you have a lot of kissin' time to make up.  But really!  Don't need to see it.  (Of course, I quoted it - lol!)  

[Screamapillar]

Oh, Jill. That is cringeworthy. Is Derick not embarrassed by kissy face pictures with cutesy quotes? I'm a little embarrassed for him, and I don't even like him. 

[lilith]

Yep...this is one of the many reasons I think it's inappropriate for someone to butt in if a child is throwing a fit. An outsider has no clue what else could be going on under the surface. I know if anyone ever says anything to me...it will take a lot of self control not to lose my cool in front of my child.

Damn quoting on Tapa. My (lilith's) comment starts here-

It can also totally undermine the parent's authority and the way they are trying to deal with a situation to have another adult intervene and tell them they are "doing it wrong".

[EmmieJ]

@ClaraOswin and @EmmieJ, if you'll notice I said for a place to calm down or for a spanking. I'm not instructing them to spank them but if your child is flipping out and especially if they're being destructive, they need somewhere else to breathe and calm down. I've worked for quite some time at a chain grocery store and see parents blatantly not give a crap their banshee is throwing food around in the isles and in my opinion, not correcting it in any way is the problem. So yes I may gently nudge them in the direction of the bathroom but again, not saying you have to spank but pointing out its effectiveness. 

I have been told by outsiders not to spank and it didn't offend me at all. Its their opinion and it is perfectly legal in the state of Georgia to spank a child on the bottom with an open hand. We don't believe in spanking with spoons, straps, belts or various other objects. Very similar to the prochoice/prolife arguement, what I'm doing is legal and its my personal choice for our family. People don't like it but its what works best for the family.

You may think what you are seeing is a parent allowing their child to wildly misbehave.  What you might actually be seeing is a parent out with their autistic child, who is having a reaction to some sort of stimulus.  My sister has an autistic (now adult) child.  Over the years, she has endured many dirty looks, muttered comments, and outright remarks from people like yourself who did not really know the situation.  I also disagree that spanking is effective except for:  a grown person asserting their right to hurt a child in the name of discipline, and b- a grown adult expressing their frustration by hitting a child instead of trying to find a non-violent way of dealing with the situation.  All spanking does is teach the child that an adult can hit you with impunity, but oh boy, they better not hit back, or hit someone else, because then they are in trouble.  It's a mixed message, and depending on who is doing the hitting (and spanking is hitting), and how hard and how often and how arbitrarily, they learn to fear their own parent.  I don't think there is any redeeming value in hitting your own kid in the name of enforcing your will on them.

[withaj]

Yeesh....

 

UGH. Also... he's her only sunshine? Blasphemy! Jesus!

[EmmieJ]

I would hope that Izzy brought at least some amount of sunshine to Jill's life too.  And that quote is cringe-worthy.  I mean, sure if you and your SO are sappy, then text that to him/her, or call them up and say so.  But publicly posting that is the stuff of middle school.  I just can't help but laugh.  Yeah Jill, we get it - you and Derrick are soooooooooooooooooooooooo in lurve!