Jill Duggar Dillard Pt 7 - Y'all Wanna Pay for My Vacation?

[MyMilkshake]

I really hope Jill doesn't assume her parent's camera hungry ways. The photos of JB  and Michelle kissing are so much ew.

[karen77]

I would hope that Izzy brought at least some amount of sunshine to Jill's life too.  And that quote is cringe-worthy.  I mean, sure if you and your SO are sappy, then text that to him/her, or call them up and say so.  But publicly posting that is the stuff of middle school.  I just can't help but laugh.  Yeah Jill, we get it - you and Derrick are soooooooooooooooooooooooo in lurve!

Maybe it's that facebook thing, the people that post the most in "love" crap on FB are the ones with the most issues going on behind the scenes...

[Timetostoplurking]

Maybe it's that facebook thing, the people that post the most in "love" crap on FB are the ones with the most issues going on behind the scenes...

very true!!!     

Besides....I really don't like PDA.   And posting an online kissing pic is about as PDA as you can get.  Yuck.  

[Nikedagain?]

My kids are older now. (Late teens ans early 20's) but I remember those frantic store outings with 3 kids under 5.  Whew!!!!!  Good times!! 

One of my kids is severely autistic and had more than one public meltdown.   If anyone would stare, I just looked them in the eye and told them "he has autism!"   Really loud so everyone heard .  You would be amazed at how that stopped the stareing.  Usually people were very kind and even offered to help.  Not much they could, do but it made me feel much much better.  I always try to pay it forward and be very sympathetic with other people's kids. 

However, I do have to admit to switching lines, at a store, if a little one is screaming. I'm not judging, I just think the parent sometimes needs some space.

It makes all the difference in the world to these parents, just to get a sympathetic look. My daughter is severely affected with autism and non verbal.  A few years ago at Christmas, I became overly confident and we went to see Santa at the mall. She had been doing so well, no meltdowns etc. Well of course this became her most epic meltdown of all times. She stripped most of her clothing, she screamed, kicked, pulled hair, tried to bite, self injuring. It was simply awful. And she was about 8  (she is tall and has super human strength ) and there was no way we could carry her to the car, she was not allowing anyone close enough to touch her. So my older daughter and I began to just ignore her. We would walk a couple of feet away and act like we were talking and she would hysterically run up to us and throw herself at our feet and commence the tantrum. Then we would walk away again. We did this for 45 minutes until we were at the outside door. I cannot even count the people who tried to "help". Everyone from clerks to cops tried to "talk to her", often looking at me very suspiciously. Every time they interfered, it would set her right off again. I know most meant well, but sometimes folks just need to take a few minutes and look at the big picture. The people that came over to us and asked what they could do were so appreciated though. 

[Timetostoplurking]

It makes all the difference in the world to these parents, just to get a sympathetic look. My daughter is severely affected with autism and non verbal.  A few years ago at Christmas, I became overly confident and we went to see Santa at the mall. She had been doing so well, no meltdowns etc. Well of course this became her most epic meltdown of all times. She stripped most of her clothing, she screamed, kicked, pulled hair, tried to bite, self injuring. It was simply awful. And she was about 8  (she is tall and has super human strength ) and there was no way we could carry her to the car, she was not allowing anyone close enough to touch her. So my older daughter and I began to just ignore her. We would walk a couple of feet away and act like we were talking and she would hysterically run up to us and throw herself at our feet and commence the tantrum. Then we would walk away again. We did this for 45 minutes until we were at the outside door. I cannot even count the people who tried to "help". Everyone from clerks to cops tried to "talk to her", often looking at me very suspiciously. Every time they interfered, it would set her right off again. I know most meant well, but sometimes folks just need to take a few minutes and look at the big picture. The people that came over to us and asked what they could do were so appreciated though. 

wow!   What a time you had.   Sounds like you handled it pretty well.  I have had a few interesting outings with my son also.  He's 20 now and outweighs me by about 50 lbs.  I don't go out with him alone anymore.  Just to unpredictable.  

It's a whole different level of parenting, isn't it??     :)

[RabbitKM]

Your Target has two floors?  

 

Yep! Many but not all Targets have two floors, that I've seen.

[EmmieJ]

Let me ask you a question - if we were shopping in the same grocery store and I was behaving in a way my husband didn't like and he swatted my ass with an open hand to teach me a lesson would you be comfortable with that?  Most people who spank would be horrified if one spouse used physical "correction" on the other which is a huge lapse in logic to me.  I'm an adult with my own legal rights, agency, ability to leave my marriage but the law would protect me from a spanking or a slap if reported.  Why am I, a grown woman, more deserving of this protection than a child who has no ability to defend themselves or leave?  

I really need someone to explain that to me because I cannot get past the cognitive dissonance.

 

 

That's what I wonder too.   I think that this particular mindset is probably based on the earlier societal belief that women and children were possessions, and did not have any rights beyond what their master (husband, father) deigned to give them.  It used to be "a family issue" when spousal abuse took place and police were reluctant to interfere.  Lots of people felt that if a woman got hit by her spouse, she must have somehow brought it on herself.  Over time, society now mostly accepts that any physical abuse between spouses is not acceptable, but we still have a long way to go to affording children the same rights in that regard.  Children are not objects.  Disciplining children and working with them to achieve certain behaviors can be done without resorting to hitting.

[formergothardite]

When hitting children is seen as normal and something "good" parents do it is hard to see that children don't need to be hit. Changing how we talk about it helps, IMO. People don't want to say that they hit small children or that they resort to violence when teaching children, but that is what spanking is. Instead of calling it spanking, popping, swatting or anything else it needs to be called exactly what it is, an adult hitting a child. 

[Bad Wolf]

I went to a Target wioors once. It was so weird. We had to send our cart up on a special escalator thing. It was somewhere in California but I can't recall exactly now. It was probably 10 years ago or so.

http://livingmividaloca.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/20111125_094919.jpg

I went to a 2 story Walmart in CA once,same escalator for the carts.

[RabbitKM]

I went to a 2 story Walmart in CA once,same escalator for the carts.

Yeah, it is many of our big box stores that are two story, not just Target (another prime example being Bed bath and beyond). I didn't realize this wasn't a thing elsewhere, because of course here in NYC they are three or more sometimes. 

[HarryPotterFan]

When my daughter was about 11 or 12, I decided it was time to let her ride her bike to the pool instead of me driving her. There was a major street to cross, with a light, but I was nervous anyway. Pool wasn't too far, but I told her to call me as soon as she arrived. Well, no call. So, I called the pool and had them page her, and be sure to say it was mom. Talking about embarrassed! She is still good about letting me know her whereabouts and she is an adult, LOL!

The first time my brother drove a long distance (like 6+ hours) my parents told him to call when he got to his destination. He didn't and my parents freaked out. They called him and he answered and told them he would have called if he had run into any problems. I pointed out he couldn't have called if he was dead or in he hospital. He didn't consider that.

[EmCatlyn]

I went to a Target with 2 floors once. It was so weird. We had to send our cart up on a special escalator thing. It was somewhere in California but I can't recall exactly now. It was probably 10 years ago or so.

http://livingmividaloca.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/20111125_094919.jpg

I ran into those escalators for shopping carts for the first time in the Philly suburbs around 2004 at a two-story Bed Bath and Beyond.

ETA - I am not surprised they have them in NYC, though I have to wonder what use big shopping carts are in NYC.  You can only carry so much on the subway, a taxi will take forevermore (and charge a fortune), and if you have a car the nearest parking was probably a mile away.

[purple_summer]

We have a 2 story Target AND a 2 story Walmart. I think the new "city Target" stores have multiple floors but I'm not sure.

[ClaraOswin]

Yeah...I live in Nebraska. Haven't seen any here. I suppose it makes more sense in places where space is limited so they build up.

[HarryPotterFan]

 

Oh god the first Bin and Jessa make out pic they posted right after their wedding looked like they were eating each other's faces! I'm still traumatized.

 

Why would you post a pic if you're knowingly looking awkward because of braces? I didn't doubt their affection. I think they're just bad at it.

I can't decide if that's better or worse than my ex who kissed like a dog...

Maybe it's better lol. Ugh. 

[umsami]

I ran into those escalators for shopping carts for the first time in the Philly suburbs around 2004 at a two-story Bed Bath and Beyond.

ETA - I am not surprised they have them in NYC, though I have to wonder what use big shopping carts are in NYC.  You can only carry so much on the subway, a taxi will take forevermore (and charge a fortune), and if you have a car the nearest parking was probably a mile away.

Yes, I used to live in Brooklyn and our Costco had an escalator.  It was a double escalator....and the carts would ride on their own ramp type escalator in the middle, and you'd ride on a different belt next to it.  Trippy.

[purple_summer]

Yes, I used to live in Brooklyn and our Costco had an escalator.  It was a double escalator....and the carts would ride on their own ramp type escalator in the middle, and you'd ride on a different belt next to it.  Trippy.

The first time I saw one of those I was probably 8 or 9 at a store called "The Great Indoors". They're cool but I always feel like they're going to break and carts will come tumbling down.

[RootBeerFloat]

@ClaraOswin and @EmmieJ, if you'll notice I said for a place to calm down or for a spanking. I'm not instructing them to spank them but if your child is flipping out and especially if they're being destructive, they need somewhere else to breathe and calm down. I've worked for quite some time at a chain grocery store and see parents blatantly not give a crap their banshee is throwing food around in the isles and in my opinion, not correcting it in any way is the problem. So yes I may gently nudge them in the direction of the bathroom but again, not saying you have to spank but pointing out its effectiveness. 

I have been told by outsiders not to spank and it didn't offend me at all. Its their opinion and it is perfectly legal in the state of Georgia to spank a child on the bottom with an open hand. We don't believe in spanking with spoons, straps, belts or various other objects. Very similar to the prochoice/prolife arguement, what I'm doing is legal and its my personal choice for our family. People don't like it but its what works best for the family.

Maybe when you get old and start misbehaving in public again, your kids can return the favor.

[RabbitKM]

Yeah...I live in Nebraska. Haven't seen any here. I suppose it makes more sense in places where space is limited so they build up.

I don't know, because I am from CA, and they have a lot of the two story big box stores there.  And there is plenty of space. 

And as for carrying your crap home with you after shopping in NYC, well, that's what keeps life interesting  I've seen people on the subway with all kinds of stuff, like buckets from the Container Store, standing lamps, laundry, you name it.  Most stores will offer some kind of delivery service.  I usually order online in order to avoid that precise problem, but often the mail carrier leaves my packages in the post office if I'm not home, so it defeats the purpose.  Once I had to carry a big box of files somewhere and I realized I wouldn't be able to manage on the subway, so I had to hail a cab.  Ah, the joys of big city living.

[EmmieJ]

To the bolded - that is wonderful to hear. 

Wow, I don't know why the quote I was referencing disappeared.  I was responding to the poster who has an autistic child who is doing well with all the early interventions.

[notfundy]

I live in a not-too-extremely-large city and we have a two story Target. (we have three Targets in our city and one of them is two-story). 

The first time I saw a multi-story Target was in Portland (2003) and it weirded me out... 

It's so funny.. my little nephews call  the two-story one  "Big Target" and the regular, one-story one some distance away "Flat Target".  

[MatthewDuggar]

Deerfield Beach, FL has a 2-story Target.  It's not even a "Super" Target or really any bigger than a single-story "flat" Target.  The only thing I liked about it when I lived there was that it had a two-story parking garage and parking on the lover level was great on rainy or super-sunny, hot days.

[HermioneSparrow]

Tantrums are normal, you just have to try a different approach, there's a lot of ways to calm a kid but first of all you need PATIENCE. My mom once spanked me, i don't excuse her but i remember to this day, she was having PPD, my sister was a newborn, the house was a mess and my dad was working.. She was tired, I was acting out and she did it. It was awful to me! Never did it again though... My dad never spanked us, but i remember once i was having a huge tantrum at my grandma's house and he simply grabbed his water bottle and throwed some water at my head, i stopped and never ever had a tantrum again it wasn't traumatic and he said he did it because my face was blue already and he panicked. 

To the mom with a daughter who has autism, kudos to you! That's not easy, I treated some kids with autism at College and it was really challenging.

@claraoswin you're a great mom!!

[VelociRapture]

My hometown has two Targets - one is a single level, the other has two levels.

This is a town, not a city, and both have been there a while. I honestly didn't realize people hadn't seen these before.

[morri]

there was a great artcile in some newspaper outlet recently, about the 40 year anniversary of corporal punishment outlawing in sweden, told by a amercian who was a kid, and moved to America in his teens..