Duggar House Rules

[DGayle]

I would break them all the time. I don't bend to male authority just because of genitalia. I don't smile all the time. Fuck having a buddy with me to run to the store. I wouldn't listen to only Duggar-approved music, and I wouldn't abide by their internet rules. Anything religion I would ignore. While I like skirts, I also wear jeans.

They'd kick me out within a day.

[silverspoons]

How many rules are really followed? I think being one of the boys under 18 would not be so bad. Roll out of bed at 8-9am. Have your laundry done and your bed made and food prepared by your sisters. Then no real school schedule, just go out and play. I think for the boys without the real big chores, you could get some privacy or time alone. With no real schedule, you could go outside on the golf cart or swinging in a tree and I doubt anyone would care.

I couldn't be a Duggar girl. I could wear a skirt (did for 13 years of catholic school). I just need my alone time. I was an only child so I am so used to it. My husband is opposite growing up in a mega family, he hates being alone so maybe the Duggar kids are just used to it.

[SassyPants]

How many rules are really followed? I think being one of the boys under 18 would not be so bad. Roll out of bed at 8-9am. Have your laundry done and your bed made and food prepared by your sisters. Then no real school schedule, just go out and play. I think for the boys without the real big chores, you could get some privacy or time alone. With no real schedule, you could go outside on the golf cart or swinging in a tree and I doubt anyone would care.

I couldn't be a Duggar girl. I could wear a skirt (did for 13 years of catholic school). I just need my alone time. I was an only child so I am so used to it. My husband is opposite growing up in a mega family, he hates being alone so maybe the Duggar kids are just used to it.

I think as male, as long as you did your chores and basically flew under the radar attitude wise, you could probably disappear for hours a day and no one would notice.

[sunshine]

How many Duggar house rules could you follow? Long before the Duggars I try to be kind even if I dont feel well.

I do think I could follow most of the rules with the exception of college. I would need at least an Associates Degree paid for by Duggar resources and have an online business. :D

[Sundaymorning]

I think as male, as long as you did your chores and basically flew under the radar attitude wise, you could probably disappear for hours a day and no one would notice.

I agree. And I think that to a lesser extent, this is true for the girls too. Let's face it, J'Chelle and Boob are gone pretty often to attend some stupid fundie/political events and even when they are at home, they seem pretty checked out.

If there is no camera crew around, all of the girls can hide somewhere for a certain period without being missed, with so many people and such a big house, you simply can't keep track of everyone all the time.

[sunshine]

I think as male, as long as you did your chores and basically flew under the radar attitude wise, you could probably disappear for hours a day and no one would notice.

Hopefully Jill won't find you and snitch tell on you that you were hidding. :lol:

[Stokstaartje]

Hopefully Jill won't find you and snitch tell on you that you were hidding. :lol:

Jill won't be really an issue. Soon she will be too busy "leaving her number of children up to god" to pay attention to what her sibdaughters are doing. :)

[SassyPants]

I agree. And I think that to a lesser extent, this is true for the girls too. Let's face it, J'Chelle and Boob are gone pretty often to attend some stupid fundie/political events and even when they are at home, they seem pretty checked out.

If there is no camera crew around, all of the girls can hide somewhere for a certain period without being missed, with so many people and such a big house, you simply can't keep track of everyone all the time.

Yep. Another huge beef I have with the Duggar parents. They harp on about purity and protecting their adult kids' hearts, yet they seemingly ignore the kids that actual need parenting in the form of coaching, mentoring, guiding, nurturing and teaching.

So they control and over manage adults' private moments and relationships, while ignoring the actual needs of the younger children.

Maybe if they focused on raising them from the beginning, they might be more confident in their adult kids' (oxymoron) abilities.

[theinvisiblegirl]

If we're going off of the old rules, I could follow the ones like "Never raise a hand to hit/foot to kick" because that's just common sense. I'd have a definite problem with "Never raise a voice to yell" because I have a bit of a temper (which would be frowned upon in Duggar-land) so sometimes my voice does get raised. But I'm a pants girl all the way. The last time I wore a dress was for senior prom; before that, it was for my 1st communion in 3rd grade. It would be too difficult to follow the no pants for girls rule.

I really don't care for kids much, so I would fail miserably at the buddy system.

Is that why Jill and Jana worked in tandem as a midwife/doula team (when they were still doing it; I doubt they have the luxury of that escape anymore now that Jill is married with a baby): because they couldn't be alone?

[mpheels]

Hopefully Jill won't find you and snitch tell on you that you were hidding. :lol:

Ahh... but telling is against the rules :naughty: :snooty:

"Always give a good report of others. Never tale-bear unless physical harm will come to someone. Use Matthew 18 as your standard."

(PS: I found a blog post that summarizes the original house rules from 14 Kids and Counting womenlivingwell.org/2010/02/duggars-house-rules/)

[nastyhobbitses]

I would never last in the Duggar house. I cherish my alone time far too much, I like a nice glass of wine, I can only take so much processed fatty food before I want to gag, I love wearing pants and low-cut tops, I cut my hair short, I'm about as liberal as you can get, and I was never one to follow authority unquestioningly (both my parents were lawyers; negotiation became an art form for me and my sister before we hit middle school). Also, the whole bisexual thing would likely be an issue. And my love of hip-hop/rock/pop and shaking my butt salaciously while listening to said genres. Though I did grow up with a huge extended family and used to work as an English teacher, so I am used to feeding a crowd and wrangling lots of unruly children. (Actually kind of unrelated, but I worked as an English teacher in China, so I gave my students English names. My classes were pretty big, so I started to run out of names. There...may or may not have been a class with students named Jed Wang, Jessa Zhang, Jill Li, Josh Wu, and Josie Yang...last names changed to protect the innocent, of course)

[CorruptionInc.]

I agree. And I think that to a lesser extent, this is true for the girls too. Let's face it, J'Chelle and Boob are gone pretty often to attend some stupid fundie/political events and even when they are at home, they seem pretty checked out.

If there is no camera crew around, all of the girls can hide somewhere for a certain period without being missed, with so many people and such a big house, you simply can't keep track of everyone all the time.

Until a Howler required to be fed and an older child would be required because Mullet and Boob are lazy.

[SassyPants]

Until a Howler required to be fed and an older child would be required because Mullet and Boob are lazy.

This cannot be said enough. Yes, they are lazy. The Duggar way= the easy way.

[SportsgalAnnie]

I wouldn't make it

I don't "keep sweet" if someone makes me mad, I will tell them

I don't like to wear skirts ( Sundresses yes skirts NO)

I am a sports girl always have been always will be.

I was raised to be a strong southern woman who can stand on my own two feet, they would hate me for sure.

[grandmadugger]

Rereading the original rules last night made me realize that I couldn't do it. I do not obey instantly and cheerfully. I've always pushed the rules and plan on continuing to do that. How else do you make changes or learn?

[rene76]

I really have a hard time with the cheerfully obeying. I expect my sons to obey respectfully. I know they aren't always happy to do what they're told but I couldn't imagine making them suppress their feelings. I want my sons to be able to be honest with me about how they feel. If they have to cheerfully obey, I would never know their true thoughts.

[TXGirlInAMaterialWorld]

Yes, the cheerfully obeying just makes me cringe. It's one thing to try to control your child's behavior- by saying no hitting, etc. It's a completely different thing to try to control their thoughts and emotions.

I think that is what completely squashes any sort of individuality or spark. I can understand needing order in word and deed or their house would be in a constant state of chaos (maybe a good reason to NOT have 19 kids...).

But to have your every thought and feeling that your express examined is just too much. Ultimately the brainwashing is what will keep most of these kids at least one foot in the fundie pond and why we will see the damage perpetuate on for a few generations. They are taught at an early age to not even trust their own mind. :(

[lisab506]

The thing is they aren't Duggar house rules, the are IBLP rules, and they are NOT scripturally based. Anyone who has not read the Recovering Grace website should take the time to do so. It really puts the Duggars and their beliefs in context.

Lisa Bedell

[SassMaster]

The no dancing rule always got me. I know the rule applies to other religions as well, but I never understood how the innocent dancing of a two year child could be "too sensual" and inappropriate

[JChelle's Perm]

Couldn't follow them for an hour.

I am a gay lesbian who enjoys beer and masturbation. I have a degree in microbiology, and though I haven't worked in that field in years, I still try to keep up with what research is going on. I could never "keep sweet" because I like people know how I'm feeling, and I also have a resting bitch face. And, what was that you said, "no dancing?!" Sorry, I couldn't hear over the sound of my own feet.

In theory, I like the idea of jurisdictions. I firmly believe that anyone who lives in a place should do whatever they can to help out, and whatever way to organize it and make it work for the family, cool. In practice, though it looks like the parents do a whole lot of nothing and have 19 free maids.

[teacherjane]

I'd last about a hot minute and then lose my mind. The control those parents exert over their children is in no way healthy; every part of those children's lives, from education to activities to careers to who they can marry is decided for them. It's as though they took a vow of obedience without the choice to take that vow (and of course without the icky ebil catholicism!). I shudder to think at how constricted the older girls, especially Jana, Jinger, and Joy, must feel.

I have a strong belief that those boys should be cleaning their own bathroom and learn how to clean their own clothes, as well as cook. Some of the boys have figured out how to cook--Josiah? Jeremiah? I mix them up. But then again, all of them will undoubtedly be assigned a wife and never have to clean, do laundry, or cook.

[FloraKitty35]

I wouldn't last thirty seconds, before I'd explode, and tell Michelle and Jim Bob to get off their lazy god-damn grifting asses and stop using your daughters as fucking slaves you disgusting assholes.

[choralcrusader8613]

Looking at the rules, I don't have a problem with them if they're applied reasonably. But that's the problem.

It's not enough to simply be kind when others are rude; the Duggars turn it into "Be a doormat for siblings or else."

It's not enough to help the family as much as you can with the time you have physically, mentally, and emotionally; you have to always put your own needs last. My dear mom would tell me when I had times when I felt the JOY principle running my life, "Honey, if you don't give yourself 100 percent, you don't have anything to give other people."

"Think pure thoughts" is kinda nebulous, too. When I went through confirmation (ELCA), we were told that the meaning of the 8th commandment (false witness) went further than not being hateful to others. We had to build them up and speak well of them when possible (obviously, we were to be truthful if someone was legit scum). But I'm sure the Duggars have a much more strict vision of this rule involving "No thinking about sex, the outside world, or anything other than the power of Jesus."

[JChelle's Perm]

^Agree that you can't keep putting yourself last. I don't recall where I heard it, but someone. somewhere, at sometime made the comparison to the airplane masks and how you need to get yours on THEN help others, otherwise you will be too woozy to do them any good. You need to make sure your own life is in order and at peace to help at your fullest. The concept of a "servant's heart" sounds nice on paper, but how well can you serve others if you're utterly burnt out?

Also, in my above post I forgot to add that the modesty thing would not work for me. I wear short shorts year round.

[smittykins]

I have a strong belief that those boys should be cleaning their own bathroom and learn how to clean their own clothes, as well as cook. Some of the boys have figured out how to cook--Josiah? Jeremiah? I mix them up. But then again, all of them will undoubtedly be assigned a wife and never have to clean, do laundry, or cook.

During one of their traveling specials(I believe the first one when they went to California), they were shown stopping at a laundromat, and Smuggar said something like "See, we boys *do* know how to do laundry."

Well then, why can't you do it at home?(Unfortunately, I think I know the answer: wimmin's work.)