Get your FFRREEEEE Moody book......

[theologygeek]

This review is some Poe's Law level shit. Based on the profile of the reviewer, this person is not a homeschooler/churcher etc like they say (2 reviews only) but wow.

I sure as hell hope this is a Poe. Otherwise, this person is terrifying.

It was satire. It had me screaming with laughter.

[FundieFarmer]

:lol: to the response to Lolo's review!

[salex]

Oh, Sarah, please go to a Christian Writer's workshop. A good one of those would 1) talk to you about passive voice (It is wimpy and unAmerican) 2) talk to you about the dangers of didactic writing in fictionm 3) describe the difference between showing and telling during action scenes. (Show me how these young boys cut what has to be a 4x4 to the right height for the mailbox after they set it in concrete, because given their ages, I'm having a hard time imagining them using a handsaw on a large post that has to be chest or chin level.) 4) Cut scenes that don't move the story forward. How mom learned to cook? Not valuable to the story. Details of bible verses in the bible study? too much detail and doesn't move the story forward. 5) Work with you on dialog. (thoroughly covered by others before)

I find the product placement amusing... I have a Shatto milk bottle in my pantry that I need to return for the deposit. But I've not used Velveeta for a very long time.. decade or two?

[twin2]

Lord helped me. I downloaded it. I've made it through 2 chapters and I need a break. First thing that stands out is the complete lack of description of anything, the characters, the setting, the details for everything are missing.

[Just_Jane]

I finished it. Now that it's done I cant figure out what exactly it was about because none of the daily stories tied into a cohesive story. all I know is I wouldn't trust them with my dog or my baking.

Also, making money and/or spending money seemed to be mentioned quite a bit. I really didn't need to know why they selected the mid-price mailbox. they didn't seem to do anything for enjoyment of doing it. it was all about doing things for either money or to look good for the lord. which now cements in my mind that many are correct in that Sarah wrote the series not out of enjoyment of writing but because it was her task to do for money.

[FundieFarmer]

I finished it. Now that it's done I cant figure out what exactly it was about because none of the daily stories tied into a cohesive story. all I know is I wouldn't trust them with my dog or my baking.

Yes! :lol:

[DaffyDill]

Lord helped me. I downloaded it. I've made it through 2 chapters and I need a break. First thing that stands out is the complete lack of description of anything, the characters, the setting, the details for everything are missing.

I know! I remember at school being asked to write descriptive stories, where we were supposed to use as many words as we could to describe feelings, furniture, weather, anything to teach us how to engage a reader. This was in early Primary school. The content of the story didn't really matter - it was the exercise of learning to describe what you are writing about that mattered.

The sheer dullness of Sarah's Maxwellian existence is all that the Moody book describes to me.

I wonder though, now her nieces are a little older, whether she will edit her books after hearing them talk. Surely Abby etc don't speak like those stunted Moody children...or do they?

[twin2]

Ok, 5 chapters in. Ugh how many more chapters are there?

So some more thoughts

1) Clearly, the Devil is in the Details, and as such Sarah has omitted them everywhere. All I know about the characters characteristics is that Mollie has long brown hair, and Maddie has bouncy curls. That is it. Growing up, I read all the Baby Sitters Club books. Even though it was a series, within the first two chapters, all the characters were explained, what they looked like, their personalities, even though it was a series. Jesus Steve, let Sarah read some god damn books so she can see how a book should be set up! The first part of chapter 5 talked about a very special day, Fathers day! Two short paragraphs: had breakfast (and she actually did describe what they ate!), went to church, took naps, had a special meal and opened presents. That is it. No descriptions of the special meal, nothing on what presents were given, stuff that would actually interest kids.

2) Five chapters in, and 3 mentions about the kids wanting a baby and explanation from the parents it is all in the Lords hands. WTF is this doing in a kids book! Ok, I know kids from time to time talk about wanting a kid brother or sister, but it can't form the plot of a book.

3) I have little doubt these books are a mirror into what life was like growing up in Maxhell. The mother comes off as completely absent, the father comes off as a know-it-all condescending jerk, and the kids come off fearful of anything but perfection.

[alba]

Ok, 5 chapters in. Ugh how many more chapters are there?

So some more thoughts

1) Clearly, the Devil is in the Details, and as such Sarah has omitted them everywhere. All I know about the characters characteristics is that Mollie has long brown hair, and Maddie has bouncy curls. That is it. Growing up, I read all the Baby Sitters Club books. Even though it was a series, within the first two chapters, all the characters were explained, what they looked like, their personalities, even though it was a series. Jesus Steve, let Sarah read some god damn books so she can see how a book should be set up! The first part of chapter 5 talked about a very special day, Fathers day! Two short paragraphs: had breakfast (and she actually did describe what they ate!), went to church, took naps, had a special meal and opened presents. That is it. No descriptions of the special meal, nothing on what presents were given, stuff that would actually interest kids.

2) Five chapters in, and 3 mentions about the kids wanting a baby and explanation from the parents it is all in the Lords hands. WTF is this doing in a kids book! Ok, I know kids from time to time talk about wanting a kid brother or sister, but it can't form the plot of a book.

3) I have little doubt these books are a mirror into what life was like growing up in Maxhell. The mother comes off as completely absent, the father comes off as a know-it-all condescending jerk, and the kids come off fearful of anything but perfection.

I've only made it through one chapter so far, but have any of those details actually made it into the book itself? I cringed when I saw the character descriptions and background at the start of the book; that kind of thing might be worth including if you have a large cast, or it's later in a series, but even then it should just jog the reader's memory, not serve as a substitute for providing that information in the course of the narrative.

[twin2]

I've only made it through one chapter so far, but have any of those details actually made it into the book itself? I cringed when I saw the character descriptions and background at the start of the book; that kind of thing might be worth including if you have a large cast, or it's later in a series, but even then it should just jog the reader's memory, not serve as a substitute for providing that information in the course of the narrative.

No, no detail in the chapters, just what was in the list of characters. It is painfully obvious Sarah rarely reads books.

[sparkles]

I also loved how in the list of characters she mentions Mrs. Bagwell is Snickers' mom and that Mr. and Mrs. Russel are Peaches' parents. Which begs the question, who the hell are Snickers and Peaches?

Mollie also like being "involved" with whatever the boys are doing. What does that mean? Does she stand on the sidelines watching them? Because it sure is all she was doing while the boys went door-to-door handing out flyers for HER business.

ETA: I also thought of the Baby Sitters Club series while I was reading Sarah's book. The characters were engaging and real (although some of their adventures were a bit far-fetched), there was growth and development throughout the series and you actually learned some good lessons about life without being bludgeoned over the head.

[twin2]

I also loved how in the list of characters she mentions Mrs. Bagwell is Snickers' mom and that Mr. and Mrs. Russel are Peaches' parents. Which begs the question, who the hell are Snickers and Peaches?

Mollie also like being "involved" with whatever the boys are doing. What does that mean? Does she stand on the sidelines watching them? Because it sure is all she was doing while the boys went door-to-door handing out flyers for HER business.

ETA: I also thought of the Baby Sitters Club series while I was reading Sarah's book. The characters were engaging and real (although some of their adventures were a bit far-fetched), there was growth and development throughout the series and you actually learned some good lessons about life without being bludgeoned over the head.

The only lessons I have learned thus far is that: 1) Christians, who apperently are very rare, are the only good people and 2) BABIES, MOAR BABIES!!

[MamaJunebug]

Oh, I'm so glad to see you all commenting here and there so that there's no curiosity left for me to even try to read more of the book than Amazon's look-inside gave. I figure, as the days dwindle down to a precious few, I'm reading what interests me and ONLY that!

Not difficult to imagine my junior Junebugs, at the age I'd've read the Moodys to them, saying, "Mother, have we aught else to read, this evening? This book does not hold my attention, and I ask your forgiveness for having been so candid in my disapproval," because you just know they wouldn't have said, "Can we read something else, please?" Hee.

One of my favorite books is "I Remember Mama" by Kathryn Forbes. It's about life for a first-generation Swedish-American young woman in early 1900s San Francisco who wants to be a writer. Forbes writes it in a series of vignettes that all eventually tie together. When I heard that she'd written another book, I moved earth and heaven to get a copy from inter-library-loan.

It's called "Transfer Point" and it turned out to be a series of snippets about a young girl in SFO who does a variety of activities involving "transfer points" from one streetcar line to another. IIRC (memory's foggy because I was so disappointed) the vignettes don't really have a plot from beginning to end. Each one, however, ends with a rather vague lesson that the girl learned about life.

The Amazon excerpts from "Moodys" and your comments brought "Transfer Point" to mind. If only Poor Sarah had guidance, exposure to other writers - and freedom from Stevovah's censoring self - she might be able to turn out her own version of "I Remember Mama." And that might be something to read!

[formergothardite]

Oh, I'm so glad to see you all commenting here and there so that there's no curiosity left for me to even try to read more of the book than Amazon's look-inside gave. I figure, as the days dwindle down to a precious few, I'm reading what interests me and ONLY that!

Not difficult to imagine my junior Junebugs, at the age I'd've read the Moodys to them, saying, "Mother, have we aught else to read, this evening? This book does not hold my attention, and I ask your forgiveness for having been so candid in my disapproval," because you just know they wouldn't have said, "Can we read something else, please?" Hee.

One of my favorite books is "I Remember Mama" by Kathryn Forbes. It's about life for a first-generation Swedish-American young woman in early 1900s San Francisco who wants to be a writer. Forbes writes it in a series of vignettes that all eventually tie together. When I heard that she'd written another book, I moved earth and heaven to get a copy from inter-library-loan.

It's called "Transfer Point" and it turned out to be a series of snippets about a young girl in SFO who does a variety of activities involving "transfer points" from one streetcar line to another. IIRC (memory's foggy because I was so disappointed) the vignettes don't really have a plot from beginning to end. Each one, however, ends with a rather vague lesson that the girl learned about life.

The Amazon excerpts from "Moodys" and your comments brought "Transfer Point" to mind. If only Poor Sarah had guidance, exposure to other writers - and freedom from Stevovah's censoring self - she might be able to turn out her own version of "I Remember Mama." And that might be something to read!

I LOVE that book! Thank you for reminding me of it. I need to go read it again.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

MamaJunebug, I read that as well and so many more like it. Growing up in the 60's there weren't nearly as many children's books to read as there are now and so I haunted the 828 section at my local library where they shelved the humorous books including funny memoirs like For 2 Cents Plain about growing up Jewish in NY in the 1910's, The Egg and I (and other books by Betty MacDonald) about being a young wife in the newly settled woods of Washington, Cheaper by the Dozen, and so many more. I think it gave me a better understanding of different cultures and much broader view of life than I was exposed to growing up in the suburbs of Southern California.

The few chapters of Sarah's book that I read emphasized how insular her viewpoint is. So much so that the book almost reads like a post-apocalyptic novel. The world that her characters inhabit has no resemblance to the real, modern world but sadly is not interesting enough to be a fantasy.

[Coco]

I LOVE that book! Thank you for reminding me of it. I need to go read it again.

Do you mean Mama's Bank Account? (maybe it has more than one title?) because that was one of my mom's favorite books too. She read quite a few aloud to us while we did embroidery. :lol:

Another great series in the same genre is the Ralph Moody books. Sometimes she had to quit reading a while because she'd cry. Great books are priceless. Sarah has missed so much.

[Trynn]

So, I got really really bored this morning. Here's another scene from Genericnonmoodycharacter's point of view.

I'd love to be a writer someday, so honest (but polite) feedback is welcome. Not that this is something I spent a huge amount of time on, but still.

The original scenes first.These are separated by pages and pages of other stuff, but that's boring so I cut that out.

An hour later, the family was listening to Dad read a book aloud about the missionary Hudson Taylor. Dad stopped when he heard the phone ring. “Would you like to answer that, Max?â€

“Oh yes!†Max agreed, thinking about pet-sitting customers. “Maybe this will be an answer to prayer!†he called, rushing for the phone. “HellothisisMax!†he blurted eagerly.

“Hello? Is this the Moodys? Anyone there?†a voice inquired loudly.

“Yes, hello,†Max responded a little more slowly.

“Oh, that’s better. I can understand you now. This is Maud Bagwell, your neighbor. I need to speak with Mix.â€

“Hello, Mrs. Bagwell! This is Max. How may I help you?†He held the phone slightly away from his ear.

“I’m leaving on a trip tomorrow —it was a last-minute thing— and need you to watch Snickers . I know you will love him. He is easy to take care of, and I’m sure you’ll get along well. Can I stop over tomorrow morning to give instructions and leave Snickers with you?â€

“Yes, ma’am. That would be great.â€

Maxwell, Sarah (2013-01-23). Summer with the Moodys (Moody Family Series Book 1) (Kindle Locations 424-428). Communication Concepts, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Finally, at ten o’clock, the doorbell rang. Mom opened the door.

Mrs. Bagwell bustled in with a small dog carrier and a bag of supplies. She walked straight into the living room. The children, who knew that shoes were not allowed on the carpet, couldn’t help but stare at Mrs. Bagwell’s feet. Then they each, almost in unison, looked at Mom questioningly. She was standing behind Mrs. Bagwell, and she shook her head, putting her finger to her lips.

Mrs. Bagwell peeked in Snickers ’ home. “Now, Snickers boy, I’m going to leave you for a little while, but these children will take care of you. I want you to be good. I’m so sorry you can’t come.†Mrs. Bagwell set the carrier on the floor and opened the door. A small rat cautiously crawled into the middle of the living room.

Mollie gasped, “This is Snickers?â€

Max and Mitch stared wide-eyed at the rat. Mom swallowed hard. She had not been expecting a rat. Mrs. Bagwell smiled. “Yes, Snickers is a rat. You won’t find a friendlier rat than him.†Mollie nodded, but she wasn’t so sure she wanted a rat as a friend.

Snickers’ black eyes looked back and forth at the children. He rapidly made his way to Maddie, who was sitting on the floor. He climbed onto her lap. Maddie giggled. “I like this wat!â€

Mrs. Bagwell hurried to Maddie. “I told you he was friendly. But, whatever you do, don’t pull his tail. That is the only time he will bite. Also, he needs to be let out once a day to run around the house. Don’t worry, he shouldn’t cause any problems. Snickers also likes to sit on shoulders. Oh, yes, one last thing. Don’t be surprised if he chatters his teeth. He’ll do that when he’s happy.â€

“Okay,†Max said, trying to process all that Mrs. Bagwell was telling them.

Mrs. Bagwell gave Mollie the bag of supplies and said there were instructions inside. “You take good care of him. I’ll be gone for ten days, and when I’m back, I’ll pick him up and pay you . Do you have any questions?†Mrs. Bagwell had noticed their quietness.

Max smiled. “ No, ma’am. I think it will be easy enough. Thank you for trusting us to watch Snickers for you.â€

Mrs. Bagwell patted Max. “Thank you for taking care of him. Well, I’d better be going.†Mom walked Mrs. Bagwell to the door and waved good-bye.

Maxwell, Sarah (2013-01-23). Summer with the Moodys (Moody Family Series Book 1) (Kindle Locations 474-476). Communication Concepts, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Now, my rewrite.

18. The title of this chapter is “Business rolls in.†Was that supposed to be a pun.

Maude Bagwell went to the telephone.

“Grandma's not serious, is she?†cousin Jane whispered to Alexa, who shrugged helplessly.

“Hey! I have my hearing aid in today, girls.â€

“Sorry grandma.†the cousins chorused.

“I mean, come on, I'm old. What's old age for if you can't mess with people?â€

“How exactly are we--†Jane began, but grandmama cut her off.

Besides, the Moodys totally deserve it. You should hear what they did to poor Honey.â€

“You mean Mrs. GenericNonMoodyFemale's dog?†Asked Alexa.

Grandma nodded. “The children, instead of pet sitting her at their home, basically locked honey up in the house and only let her out twice a day. They fed her, but they didn't let her run around the yard much except to do her business and that's it. It's no wonder Mrs. Genericnonmoodyfemale came back to find that the dog had chewed up the couch cushions. Poor dog was bored. Not to mention all the messes all over the house, because most dogs go to the bathroom more than twice a day.â€

Grandma Maude dialed the phone. It was answered on the first ring.

“Hellothisismax!â€

Do these children only know how to speak 2 ways: really fast or robotically? Annoyed, she asked, in a really loud voice, as if she was hard of hearing, “Hello? Is this the Moodys? Anyone there?â€

“Yes, hello,†Max responded a little more slowly.

“Ah, yes, this is Jane Marple. I need to speak to--†she glanced down at the flyer, which she'd salvaged out of the recycle bin, “Mix.†She grinned.

Alexa thought about double checking grandma's meds, then shrugged. May as well let her have some fun in life, she thought.

“Hello, Mrs. Marple!†This is Max. How may I help you?â€

By calling me Miss or Ms instead of “mrs.†thought Maude. She tried to keep the laughter out of her voice as she responded. “I’m leaving on a trip tomorrow —it was a last-minute thing— and need you to watch Snickers . I know you will love him. He is easy to take care of, and I’m sure you’ll get along well. Can I stop over tomorrow morning to give instructions and leave Snickers with you?â€

“Snickers?†Jane asked, “who is--â€

Grandma Maude gave her a look, and she stopped talking. Jane turned to look helplessly at Alexa, who gave her the don't-look-at-me-I-don't-know-what-the-fuck-is-going-on look. After growing up together, the two cousins rarely needed to use words.

“Yes, ma’am. That would be great.†They heard Max say, and then he hung up.

Jane was first to speak. “Grandma what--â€

“Relax girls, I'm not trusting Nox to those people.â€

“I know,†Alexa said. “But--â€

“Who or what is Snickers?†Finished Jane.

Grandmama grinned, reached behind her chair, and pulled out a cage. Inside the cage was a large rat. Alexa took a step back. “grandma, you know I'm allergic to rodents.â€

“Where did you even find that?†Jane wanted to know.

“Out in the garden, eating up my strawberries.†Grandmama replied. “I thought it would be fun to mess with the Moodys a little, after what they did to poor Honey.â€

“You know you're going to have to pay them, right?â€

“I'm paying the kids,†grandmama corrected, putting the rat cage outside on the back porch. “That Mr. Moody keeps them so tightly controlled, this is probably the only way they'll ever get spending money, poor things.â€

“And if the rat doesn't survive?â€

“Then the parents will make the kids abandon this stupid business idea before they actually hurt someone's beloved pet. Now, go get some sleep girls, we leave early in the morning.â€

The next morning, Jane and Alexa went to drop off “Snickers†at the Moody's house. The trip hadn't really been last minute. Alexa's mom worked at a summer camp, and one week out of the summer, the family would visit her there. The camp was generous, and any family members were allowed to stay with the staff member free of charge. Maude looked forward to it every year, and this time Alexa and Jane were accompanying her.

Alexa hoped the Moodys wouldn't ask about the dog. Nox had already been safely dropped off at Aunty Marian's house, a much more trustworthy person than the robotic religious Moodys.

Mrs. Moody opened the door.

“Hi, I'm Jane Marple,†Mrs. Bagwell said, extending a hand. Please tell me the adult gets the reference...

But there was no trace of a laugh as Mrs. Moody smiled and shook Maude's hand. “Nice to meet you, Miss Marple, come on in.â€

Mrs. Bagwell bustled in with a small dog carrier and a bag of supplies. She walked straight into the living room. The children all stared at her with their mouths hanging open. What are they staring at me like that for... do I have something in my teeth? Are my pants falling down?

Jane was wondering if the problem was that the Moody children had never seen women in pants before. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Mrs. Moody shake her head and press her finger to her lips. Jane was suddenly very hot, even though the Moody's air conditioned house was quite cool.

Maude peeked in Snickers ’ home. “Now, Snickers boy, I’m going to leave you for a little while, but these children will take care of you.†She tried not to grin, but it was very hard to keep a straight face. “I want you to be good. I’m so sorry you can’t come.†Mrs. Bagwell set the carrier on the floor and opened the door. A small rat cautiously crawled into the middle of the living room.

At the look on Mrs. Moody's face, Jane and Alexa almost burst out laughing. Maude alone kept her face straight as the oldest Moody girl gasped, “this is Snickers?â€

The two boys could only stare, wide eyed, as “snickers†ran across the room and made a beeline for the littlest girl, jumping right up into her lap. The little girl giggled. “I like this rat,†she said. “He's nice.â€

Maude smiled. “Yes, Snickers is a rat. You won’t find a friendlier rat than him.â€

The oldest girl nodded respectfully, but Maude could tell by the look on her face that the girl wasn't so sure she wanted a rat for a friend.

Maude hurried to Maddie. What if the rat bit her? She didn't think it would, but.... “I told you he was friendly. But, whatever you do, don’t pull his tail. That is the only time he will bite. Also, he needs to be let out once a day to run around the house.â€

Maude pretended not to notice the horrified look on Mrs. Moody's face. It had been a few weeks since the surgery, but she was still in pain from restraining her laughter.

“Don’t worry, he shouldn’t cause any problems. Snickers also likes to sit on shoulders.â€

Jane quickly turned her fit of laughter into a fit of coughing. Alexa slapped her on the back. “We'll be out in the car, grandma,†she said. She grabbed her cousin's arm and yanked her out the door. As soon as they thought they were out of earshot, they both burst out laughing.

“Oh, yes,†said Maude, trying to get the attention away from her granddaughters. “one last thing. Don’t be surprised if he chatters his teeth. He’ll do that when he’s happy.†Maude had no idea if that was true or not. At this point, she was just making shit up. But it was ok, right? Surely they wouldn't really let the rat run around the house...

“Okay,†said the oldest boy.

Maude handed the oldest girl the bag of rat supplies she'd picked up at the pet store. “I'll be gone for ten days, and I'll pay you when I get back. Do you all have any questions?â€

After a moment of silence, Max smiled. “ No, ma’am. I think it will be easy enough. Thank you for trusting us to watch Snickers for you.â€

Maude patted Max. “Thank you for taking care of him. Well, I’d better be going.†Mrs. Moody walked Maude to the door and waved good-bye.

Maude, Jane, and Alexa drove away, laughing hysterically.

[Coco]

MamaJunebug, I read that as well and so many more like it. Growing up in the 60's there weren't nearly as many children's books to read as there are now and so I haunted the 828 section at my local library where they shelved the humorous books including funny memoirs like For 2 Cents Plain about growing up Jewish in NY in the 1910's, The Egg and I (and other books by Betty MacDonald) about being a young wife in the newly settled woods of Washington, Cheaper by the Dozen, and so many more. I think it gave me a better understanding of different cultures and much broader view of life than I was exposed to growing up in the suburbs of Southern California.

The few chapters of Sarah's book that I read emphasized how insular her viewpoint is. So much so that the book almost reads like a post-apocalyptic novel. The world that her characters inhabit has no resemblance to the real, modern world but sadly is not interesting enough to be a fantasy.

yes.

And the biographies section. Never Have Your Dog Stuffed by Alan Alda was great. Btw when he was a little kid - preschool little - his dad iirc ran a cabaret. (or maybe just worked there, idk) For whatever reason, he was there a lot. :shock: And the dancers used to spoil him. Reading that made me realize, you know, "bad" childhood experiences don't always produce awful people. Sometimes i think the ones that fall the hardest into horrible stuff are the ones that have never experienced anything beyond perfection, or seen the damage that comes from poor choices by being exposed to people who've made those choices. I'd never allow that much exposure to my kids, of course. But it was kind of amazing to see that backstory knowing that Alda ended up being a respectful, thoughtful guy. Fundies are afraid everything is going to just destroy their kids. Too bad Steve is so weak he can't let his kids free to just be imperfect humans.

This discussion is making me want to go to the library. :lol:

[mango_fandango]

Alright, my notes so far and in no particular order:

Summer with the moodys

Notes

1. I really wanted to know why the father used metal trash cans instead of “quieter plastic ones like his neighbors.†thank you so very much for explaining that to me.

2. So, Sharon just offers to let the Moodys, whom she's never met before, dogsit Honey, without clearing it with Honey's owner first? My god, at least the Moodys go to the nursing home to ask her. Good lord.

3. Mitch decided she was probably the receptionist... Mollie noted that it was room 124... wow gee, I had no idea the person behind the front desk was the receptionist. I thought she was the one who mowed the lawn.

Also, it is really important to know that whatshername is in room 124. I'm sure it'll be very relevent to the plot later...

4. The book assumes we know songs we don't. I know “Good morning to you,†because we used to sing it in Sabbath school, but what kind of song is “Praise the Lord?†I'm sure there are like, a thousand songs with that title. WHAT SONG IS MOLLIE SINGING AS SHE DOES DISHSES?

5. Dear Mr. Moody, cinnamon rolls are not a good breakfast unless you want your kids bouncing off the walls for the next 5 hours. Love, someone who bounced off the wall A LOT as a kid at summer camp.

6. Is there a reason why Mrs. Moody has her Bible time alone in her room while the rest of the family has theirs downstairs in the living room? That just seemed really weird to me.

7. Ice cubes in orange juice? Why couldn't they have just pulled the container out of the refrigerator? I know not everyone keeps their juice in the fridge before opening it, but if you know you're going to be using it in a few hours, it's not that hard to make room and pop it in there real quick so the juice can be cold by the time you're ready to eat. On second thought, nevermind, we really DON'T need 2 paragraphs on why the juice was cold, just as we also don't need to know they put ice cubes in the orange juice.

8. Wait... why is it MOLLIE'S job to get Maddie dressed? That sounds like a job for.... EMILY, the parent.

9. Dear Steve, Following is spelled with one “W,†not two. I don't have page numbers because this is the kindle edition, but it is in the chapter where they are making cinnamon rolls.

Actually, I think I'm just going to send that one directly to him before I post these notes.

10. Maddie asks if Generic M'boy will open her “doie.†It took me a good minute to figure out this meant “door.â€

11. Apparently, the car door is already open. Then why the fuck would she ask him to open it for her? She's 3 years old, not stupid, jeez.

12. Boy, they sure do make Mollie look selfish for not wanting to share her seat in the car with “a sixty five pound furball.â€

Well, yeah..... if the dog is too big to sit on the seat beside me,the dog is too big. Iewfjijsdsjldsfkl

13. Girls, you may pick the flowers growing along the driveway, but not the ones by the porch, those ones aren't for picking.

Generic not moody lady after returning home: Where are all the lovely flowers I had planted along the driveway?!

14. I've decided Maddie's dialect is so annoying that I can't deal with it. I've never met a three year old who talked that way. I'm going to pretend she's been adopted from a foreign country and therefore has trouble with the letter R. I pick China, I studied a bit of Mandarin, and the R and W are almost the same sound, so this would make sense if Maddie is Chinese. Yes, yes that is my pet theory, because it makes the story more interesting.

15. I'm too lazy to go back and cheeck how old Mollie is. Less than 12, more than 8.... I'm gonna guess 10. That letter from the health department was totally written in a language she could understand, and yet she has to ask dad what the letter means.

Also, laws might have been different since Sarah wrote this, and if I'm not double checking mollie's age I'm REALLY not checking the copyright date, but, don't you need an inspection by the health department in order to sell any baked goods? Did sarah actually do “research†on this or did she just guess?

16. Dear Poor Sarah,

Manna does not mean “bread.†It means, “What is it?†The Israelites called it that because they didn't know what the fuck it was either.

Re Maddie's accent, I find it weird too. What I found even weirder, though, was when I was looking at all the Moody book samples on the Tits2 website, and in "Winter with the Moodys" Maddie is still saying things like "wat" and "weally" and then, in the next book, she's suddenly talking completely normally.

[Coco]

Trynn, the interactions between Jane and Alexa are so well-written that it's like seeing a movie. :D :clap: :clap: :clap:

[Terrie]

What I found extremely odd was when they went to return Honey was that they all got int the car, to basically drive three blocks. It's like Moodys are strange alien creatures mimicking people.

[Trynn]

Trynn, the interactions between Jane and Alexa are so well-written that it's like seeing a movie. :D :clap: :clap: :clap:

Thank you. I was actually going for Maude as the star with Alexa being kinda the main narrator and Jane being the secondary narrator. I was trying to portray Maide as really really smart, but acting like the stereotypically silly old lady because it's fun and the moodys seem to expect that sort of thing. Did any of you guys get that impression? I'm not sure I did such a good job.

My goal was to take the dialogue Sarah have new bagwell and only change emphasis and see if that changed anything. I'm not sure it got down well on paper, but at least in my head, the way the character said those words made it so much different.

And I could totally see the moodys being clueless about it, even IRL where you can hear tone of voice and emphasis and all that stuff/

[Fascinated]

Thank you. I was actually going for Maude as the star with Alexa being kinda the main narrator and Jane being the secondary narrator. I was trying to portray Maide as really really smart, but acting like the stereotypically silly old lady because it's fun and the moodys seem to expect that sort of thing. Did any of you guys get that impression? I'm not sure I did such a good job.

My goal was to take the dialogue Sarah have new bagwell and only change emphasis and see if that changed anything. I'm not sure it got down well on paper, but at least in my head, the way the character said those words made it so much different.

And I could totally see the moodys being clueless about it, even IRL where you can hear tone of voice and emphasis and all that stuff/

Yes, I definitely got the intended impression. Maude is awesome and I get that the Moodys would have no clue what she was up to. Yours would be a much better book, although if children were still your intended audience you'd have to remove/replace the 'shit' and the 'fuck'. Great job!!!!!1!!

[Palimpsest]

Thank you. I was actually going for Maude as the star with Alexa being kinda the main narrator and Jane being the secondary narrator. I was trying to portray Maide as really really smart, but acting like the stereotypically silly old lady because it's fun and the moodys seem to expect that sort of thing. Did any of you guys get that impression? I'm not sure I did such a good job.

My goal was to take the dialogue Sarah have new bagwell and only change emphasis and see if that changed anything. I'm not sure it got down well on paper, but at least in my head, the way the character said those words made it so much different.

And I could totally see the moodys being clueless about it, even IRL where you can hear tone of voice and emphasis and all that stuff/

I'm seeing Maude as the star and instigator and I'm loving it. I think you are doing an excellent job! It works frighteningly well. :clap: :clap: :clap:

[twin2]

Through Chapt. 6 and I had serious issues with this chapter.

Turns out Dad had a great idea, everyone can go over to Honey's owner's house and mow the lawn and weed the flower bed this Sat! What fun! The morning starts out badly, Mollie can't get her hair the way she wants it, so she goes to the boys room. One of them is making is bed, but informs his siblings that he struggling with tucking the sheet in. The other boy is looking for his work shirt, but can't find it, and tells the other brother he forgot to do their laundry. Mollie laughs and one of the boys tells her, it might be better if she just left (very politely). Well Dad is out in the hall and overhears, is not happy with their attitudes and tells them they all need to ask for forgiveness. For what, I have no freaking clue, apparently for just being human. They all feel ashamed and ask for forgiveness.

Then they all get in the van to drive over. Dad leads them in prayer to bless them as they go about their project for the day (are you freaking kidding me, they need to pray over yard work?!?!) and then reminds Jesus of the special love they have for helping widows. WTF?! Apparently Dad has never hear that pride commeth before the fall.

So they get to the house, Dad doles out the chores for the day. After he is done showing the eldest boy how to work the lawnmower, apparently his only job is to supervise the kids work to make sure it is done right.

When they are done Dad says, and I quote

Isn't it wonderful how God designed families to work together? There are a lot of things I might have selfishly chosen to do, but I can't think of anything that would have been better than a morning of hard work with my family to bless a widow.

I.Can't.Even. Living with Steve must have been hell growing up.