Maxwells explain it all for us

[thoughtful]

The Daddy tapes!

articles.titus2.com/daddy-tape/

Sparkles beat me to it -- I was out in The World, evil me, working for a living.

Lest anyone think that these were just loving words:

To help with this planning part of the “Daddy Tape,†I suggest that you think about shortcomings you are observing in the child’s life and ask your wife for her input. Then consider the positive behavior or character that is needed to compensate or overrule the negative struggles your child is having. If the child is very young, that might not apply, but you still can concentrate on strengths and the positive outcomes you desire.

Do you desire that your child is patient and kind? Talk on the tape about how patient and longsuffering the Lord is with us and how the child should be willing to allow others to go first. If someone else is playing with a toy he wants, then he needs to patiently wait for his turn. Talk about how he loves it when someone is kind to him and how he can be a blessing to a brother or sister by being kind. Encourage the child that his kindness will please the Lord, you, and Mommy.

What a delight it is to have grateful children. Use the “Daddy Tape†to teach gratitude. Talk to your child about saying “thank you†every time someone does something for him. Give him examples he can relate to such as saying “thank you†when Mommy gets him a drink or a brother reads a story to him. There really is so much content that can be developed for a “Daddy Tape†and so much power available in that teaching time. It just takes a bit of planning to get started, and then you will begin to see how you can expand your influence in your children’s lives through “Daddy Tapes.â€

Naptime nagging -- what a joy. :roll:

And Anna never got one, but listened to a hand-me-down, so she got to hear herself called "John" over and over.

Nail Files of the Spirit -- I think I'll stick with that image.

Thanks for the reminder re spanking, Voudoo Doll. I figured they spanked, I just didn't know if they started at a crazily young age, like the Pearls.

[nomoxian]

This so-called computer expert is suggesting people use Sound Recorder?!! :lol:

[nausicaa]

Sparkles beat me to it -- I was out in The World, evil me, working for a living.

Lest anyone think that these were just loving words:

Naptime nagging -- what a joy. :roll:

And Anna never got one, but listened to a hand-me-down, so she got to hear herself called "John" over and over.

Nail Files of the Spirit -- I think I'll stick with that image.

Thanks for the reminder re spanking, Voudoo Doll. I figured they spanked, I just didn't know if they started at a crazily young age, like the Pearls.

Holy crap.

I'm someone who refuses to call a lot of religious groups cults (for instance I don't think Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, Seventh Day Adventists, or Christian fundamentalism as a whole are cults), however I am now calling it. Steve Maxwell is a cult leader. It's only a matter of time before he starts digging the snake pit in the backyard...

[VodouDoll]

Like when Steve said he once cried because he accidentally saw a boob, I can see him faking emotion to make his family feel guilty (especially in the early days, when he was getting into it and making them like that), like if one of his kids asks if they can join the football team or why they have to stop seeing their friends, he then starts crying and saying he is trying to protect them and so worried for them, and wishes they would appreciate that.

Ding ding ding! We have bingo! That's precisely how he broke it to young Nathan and Christopher that they would no longer be playing baseball because fun is a sin and evening games take you away from family Bible time. He took each one out individually and then cried that he had failed them as a father in the eyes of God and he was so so sorry and he would be fixing it immediately. Is it any wonder they agreed that his plan would be best? They were, like, eight and six years old and he got their buy-in in the most manipulative way possible. Imagine if you were six and your dad took you out alone and then cried that he'd messed up. You would have agreed to anything. I would have, anyway. But my father would've died before manipulating a small child like that.

[SPHASH]

The Daddy tapes!

articles.titus2.com/daddy-tape/

That is fucked up! I hate how Steve sugarcoats it.

[MamaJunebug]

I attended the Friday-night portion of a Maxwell seminar a few years back. Tears? Steve and Teri both brought out the crocodile tears in the course of their co-talk more than once. One time was for a dear woman who had written them in confusion and searching, and the other was when they were recalling crying out in prayer for their children .... or something like that.

My main comment here is on Poor Sarah. The impression she left with me after that evening was that she was a family enforcer: she barked at her sisters to get a move on as showtime approached, and she was hyper-attentive when Steve's prop Bible wasn't in its place on stage (John "found" it and brought it onstage with a big grin, holding it aloft to a good deal of applause), and she was similarly darting yon and hither as the night's photographer.

The Poor Sarah on the video is either smug (downplaying her supervisory side) or at the limit of her emotional expression (as permitted by her parents). Or maybe just nervous. Once or twice I've wondered what it would be like to cull her from the herd, take her to Arby's for a salad and Pepsi and an informal visit. Now I have the feeling it would be fairly one-sided, as PS would either politely lecture me on my misguided ways, or sit staring as I attempted to engage her in conversation about mutual interests.

Poor Sarah.

[sparkles]

That's interesting, MJB. I've always wondered about Poor Sarah, since she always seems to be on the sidelines. I always thought it was because she was some kind of delicate flower despite all of her training. Apparently not!

[KittenMitten]

A few pages back I said I felt bad for Steve because of his Mt Everest DVD drama. I humbly beg everyone's pardon. I can not fathom this. It is way beyond creepy.

[thoughtful]

My main comment here is on Poor Sarah. The impression she left with me after that evening was that she was a family enforcer: she barked at her sisters to get a move on as showtime approached, and she was hyper-attentive when Steve's prop Bible wasn't in its place on stage (John "found" it and brought it onstage with a big grin, holding it aloft to a good deal of applause), and she was similarly darting yon and hither as the night's photographer.

This may explain a lot. It fits in with Steve's use of cult-leader tactics to have someone who is an elder, first beaten down, then given authority, told she is trusted by the Leader, given some sense of importance.

She and Teri are the Leader's right-hand women, each with her tasks to accomplish. Sarah may be thrilled to be treated like a semi-adult.

It may be a big part of what keeps her satisfied with her lot (if, in fact, she is). In the tiny little world she is allowed to experience, she is a VIP.

[kpmom]

I found MJB's family enforcer comment interesting.

When Steve told the story of watching the video of the air show, and the nearly bare naked ladies in the ad, it was Sarah who yelled for the younger kids to look away, rather than point it out to her father and let him deal with it. I thought that was rather telling, and with MJB giving her impression of Sarah's role in the family, I think I understand Sarah just a bit more now.

I too thought she was shy and retiring, but maybe not so much.

ETA: Just wanted to add, I wonder what kind of effect that had on the reversals being yelled at like that to look away. They must think the human body (women in particular, of course) is very shameful. What kind of effect must that have on Joseph (as the only married reversal) and his sex life with Elissa?

[sparkles]

The oppressed become the oppressors.

[nokidsmom]

Ding ding ding! We have bingo! That's precisely how he broke it to young Nathan and Christopher that they would no longer be playing baseball because fun is a sin and evening games take you away from family Bible time. He took each one out individually and then cried that he had failed them as a father in the eyes of God and he was so so sorry and he would be fixing it immediately. Is it any wonder they agreed that his plan would be best? They were, like, eight and six years old and he got their buy-in in the most manipulative way possible. Imagine if you were six and your dad took you out alone and then cried that he'd messed up. You would have agreed to anything. I would have, anyway. But my father would've died before manipulating a small child like that.

Disturbing but much more effective way to say "no", get what you want with no arguments. Don't say "no" outright because the kid will question why and you will made it a "forbidden fruit" of sort. But going the crying and "I am a failure" plays completely on the kid's emotions and trust that daddy is doing the right thing. Plus kids are sensitive to their own parents' emotions and feel like they want to fix things when the parents are upset, so they agree. It's highly, highly manipulative and the worst part of it is that it's abuse that doesn't fall into a obvious category so no one picks up on how awful it is.

[thoughtful]

The oppressed become the oppressors.

Heck, even those who start out on neutral footing can get addicted to being the oppressors. Zimbardo's prison experiment comes to mind.

http://www.prisonexp.org/

[sparkles]

Heck, even those who start out on neutral footing can get addicted to being the oppressors. Zimbardo's prison experiment comes to mind.

http://www.prisonexp.org/

I always think of that experiment when we discuss some of these families.

[VodouDoll]

Totally off topic fun fact: Phil Zimbardo and Stanley Milgram went to high school together.

[thoughtful]

Totally off topic fun fact: Phil Zimbardo and Stanley Milgram went to high school together.

I wonder if there was a really cruel manipulative teacher or administrator in that school, that set them both thinking along the same lines.

[nellautumngirl]

Sorry, I have to comment on the videos :)

I haven't read everything, but I so agree with whoever said that Sarah looks much better here than in pictures. She would be quite pretty with a more modern haircut/clothes. She always looks like she's in pain in pictures, I never once in all the years thought of her as good-looking.

Perhaps it's because I know what her character is like, but Teri gives me bad vibes all around, I don't think she sounds warm or motherly at all, just smug, judgmental and devoid of compassion.

Couldn't watch Steve's video either, he gives me the creeps.

[SPHASH]

This may explain a lot. It fits in with Steve's use of cult-leader tactics to have someone who is an elder, first beaten down, then given authority, told she is trusted by the Leader, given some sense of importance.

She and Teri are the Leader's right-hand women, each with her tasks to accomplish. Sarah may be thrilled to be treated like a semi-adult.

It may be a big part of what keeps her satisfied with her lot (if, in fact, she is). In the tiny little world she is allowed to experience, she is a VIP.

I have a feeling she was a sister-mom during her adolescence like the J-Slaves due to Teri's depression.

[twin2]

I have a feeling she was a sister-mom during her adolescence like the J-Slaves due to Teri's depression.

I have a feeling, Sarah did a good chunk of the housework and raising the reversals once they came along. It wouldn't surprise me if Teri did the homeschooling and Sarah was responsible for everything else. Given Sarah has 0 imagination, and can only really write about what she has experienced, I think the amount of time Mama Moody spends up in her room is very reflective of Sarah's upbringing.

[fundiefan]

I think Sara is childlike and robotic. There is little real inflection in her voice and nothing natural in her mannerisms as she speaks. She's like an 8th grade first time Forensics student, saying all the 'right' words but having no clue how to convey a message. It's all very sad, I think.

[salex]

I have a feeling she was a sister-mom during her adolescence like the J-Slaves due to Teri's depression.

I wonder if Sara and possibly the other daughters, have been taught from childhood that they are to be 1 Corinthians women... 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I.

9 But if they cannot contain themselves, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn.

And the importance of being unmarried to better serve God has been drilled into them. They would only be raising children without the Maxwell last name, and they can be superior creatures by remaining single. Even though the chapter talks about avoiding fornication by marrying, it says it is good for a man not to touch a woman (and thus they could preach the visa versa of that for the girls)

Part of their smugness could come from knowing that the sisters in law were picked mostly to have Maxwell children and help the boys avoid fornication (since men have a harder time with it) but that they are little Maxwell nuns, dedicated to God and Daddy.

Just a thought...

[DaffyDill]

Here's an example of how Steve practically admits to brainwashing or guilting his children into behaving as he would like:

One example of something I despise is the TV. Many families are ensnared by the trap of loving to be entertained by it and are thus influenced by it. The only way to protect my children from that trap is to teach my family to hate the TV. “I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me†(Psalms 101:3). I don’t condemn the families caught in the trap. My heart aches for them because they are addicted to the TV (beast). So many families are being infected, and they can’t break free from the worst worldly friend their children (and parents for that matter) can have—the TV!!! Therefore, I am teaching my family a disdain for TV by pointing out to them the wickedness found therein, the time that they waste, and the outcomes in the lives of families who are ensnared by it.

I imagine he would continually harp on subject like this, and wear those kids down. Steve Maxwell - Resistance is futile.

It's such a shame that Teri couldn't stand firm when Steve began his descent down the rabbit hole - the lives of those children would be so different.

[HermioneSparrow]

Here's an example of how Steve practically admits to brainwashing or guilting his children into behaving as he would like:

I imagine he would continually harp on subject like this, and wear those kids down. Steve Maxwell - Resistance is futile.

It's such a shame that Teri couldn't stand firm when Steve began his descent down the rabbit hole - the lives of those children would be so different.

I think Teri is just as bad as Steve :?

[salex]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

"After Dad prayed, Mr. Delome announced, “I’ll grab the meat.†Mr. Delome hummed a tune and used his tongs to pick up a brat. As he squeezed the brat, a stream of grease shot out and caught fire. He dropped the brat onto the platter and reached for another when more grease spurted out and nailed his apron. “Whoa-a!†Mr. Delome jumped back excitedly as another brat let loose. The liquid arced like a fireworks show, and flames shot up through the grates while brat after brat started spurting. Mr. Delome cried, “Jim, can you give me a hand, "
poor Sarah :lol: :lol:

OK, saw this pic and thought of your post.

[16strong]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

OK, saw this pic and thought of your post.

:cracking-up: