Lazy Lyndsie's Cancer is Back

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

That's the only thing that upsets me about Lyndsie. If she wasn't 100% honest about her health to the bio parents of Ethan and Aubrey.

If I had given my child up for adoption to be raised by a married couple I would feel betrayed if one of them hid their health issues which had a big risk of dying young and leaving baby with only one parent.

[nonymouse]

I think people that are eager to have a family will adopt from wherever they get the least amount of torture. Any kind of drunk, jobless, substance abusing, child beating, child raping asshole is allowed to keep their kids and the worst they are likely to have to go through is a few visits from the cps.

Hard working, sober, clean, tidy, loving couples are given all kinds of shit before they can adopt a child and they drag out the adoption process for as long as they can, for no good reason whatsoever.

Slightly OT as it's not L&D-related, but I just wanted to give a different perspective. When Mr. Mouse and I turned to adoption, we did as much research as we could. Eventually we decided to go the international route, which some would consider adding "torture" in the form of having to be approved by the USCIS AND a completely separate country's governments. While I certainly had moments of "why is every damned crack whore getting pregnant when I've lived a clean life and can't" during my infertility struggles, I was always reminded that adoption agencies have strict rules in place to protect not only the adoptive parents, but the child as well. Any programs that seemed to be prolonged would do so for a valid reason for the child. (Examples: Guatemala and concern over illegal infant procuring; South Korea's attempts to place children in-country before becoming available for international adoption.) While there were times the flaming hoops felt like sheer torture, it was worth it for everyone involved to know that a child was placed in the most legal and safest ways possible. Then again, hindsight is 20/20.

My hope for L&D is that they are able to spend as much time together as a family as possible since what's done is done.

[Vex]

For what it's worth, I always thought Sunny was genuine too and I don't believe for a second that FJ contributed to the surrogacy not going through.

[Minim]

I wonder if she told the birth mother(s) about not being cancer free or if she decided to just keep it a secret.

Dick-ness is not mutually exclusive.

[Mrs Ms]

For the people who really feel upset that others here still think Lyndsie did some really awful things and still don't think highly of her, please remember that Lori Alexander also had cancer and it might return at some stage.

I can feel sorry about LL diagnosis and current chances of survival and still not think highly of her. Though I'm devastated for her children :cry:

[Peas n carrots]

I feel terrible for Lyndsie's family, especially her kids. Cancer is the worst and I really do hope she can recover, although since this is her 4th occurrence of ovarian cancer it seems unlikely.

That said, she and her husband did a shitty, selfish thing. I was there for the Aubrey 1.0 drama and it was awful. Of course, she's probably matured over the years and I really do think she loves those healthy newborns she adopted, but still. She went into this knowing it was a possibility, a strong one. I don't believe a personal desire to be a parent trumps a child's right to stability.

Lazy Lyndsie is how we all know her. This is a snark site and having cancer does not make a person into a saint. I'm not saying Lyndsie is a bad person, but cancer happens to bad people too. It means they suffer and it's awful, but I highly doubt Lyndsie is so bereft of things to do that she's reading here.

If I may use a fictional character, Exhibit A:

[Firiel]

If I may use a fictional character, Exhibit A:

And Real Life, Exhibit B:

(That's Lance Armstrong, in case anyone was wondering.)

Armstrong got SO much play out of the cancer card. He was untouchable because "But he had cancer!" as if that automatically made him a good person. It was pretty sick how he metaphorically stood on the backs of cancer victims to gain a positive public opinion.

That's a tangent. Lyndsie is not as bad as Armstrong (probably). Maybe she's not even a bad person... maybe she's just a person who did a bad thing. I don't know. But I do know that I would have had no idea who the thread was about if it hadn't been titled with her FJ moniker.

[lilwriter85]

For the people who really feel upset that others here still think Lyndsie did some really awful things and still don't think highly of her, please remember that Lori Alexander also had cancer and it might return at some stage.

I can feel sorry about LL diagnosis and current chances of survival and still not think highly of her. Though I'm devastated for her children :cry:

I'm also sad for Lyndsie and Daniel's kids. Now, while I don't like Lyndsie that much, she is probably more likable than Lori Alexander. I can't see Lyndsie treating her kids in the some of the ways Lori Alexander has admitted to treating her kids and grandkids. Also Daniel probably isn't a major asshole like Ken.

[Firiel]

I'm also sad for Lyndsie and Daniel's kids. Now, while I don't like Lyndsie that much, she is probably more likable than Lori Alexander. I can't see Lyndsie treating her kids in the some of the ways Lori Alexander has admitted to treating her kids and grandkids. Also Daniel probably isn't a major asshole like Ken.

Most everyone is more likable than Lori Alexander!

I feel really bad for Lyndsie's kids, but I also feel bad for Lyndsie and Daniel. I wonder if their push for adoption before it was medically sound was, in a way, an act of denial-- a refusal to accept the possibility that the cancer may return. It doesn't excuse their irresponsibility if that's the case, but it would be really sad. :(

[OkToBeTakei]

It's always a tough one. Look at nieine....I don't think there anybody who does not have compassion for her injuries, it does not give her a pass on having a public blog where she publicly posts views that others may not agree with. Same with Lori.

My tuppence worth for those who are uncomfortable ...don't read it simples. Don't hand wring and try to hand slap those who are fine with their view. You are not going to change their opinion anyway. Only get yourself annoyed.

My take on Lyndsie was that her view of perfect life included the perfect husband, perfect house, perfect kids . Cancer was not on her agenda and I feel desperately sorry for her in that respect as I would anybody. I think where my sympathy wains is that not only did she feel entitled to realising her dream of kids but that the cancer made her feel even more entitled to reaching this. This sense of entitlement stopped at her own wishes, not how they may effect others...namely the children. It's a sad situation.

[chaotic life]

L & D live in GA. In fact, I once ran into her at Walmart when we lived in the same town and had to suppress my reaction of recognition.

Anyway, homestudies do not typically cost $1K. They typically cost more. But adoption agencies typically absolutely require Cancer free. The adoption agencies I used in GA (one for a private adoption and one for a foster-adoption) both required a medical exam from my doctor with a statement that my chronic health condition (thyroid) did not impact my lifespan.

GA has something less than a home study. For private attorney adoptions, you only need what is called a home investigation. That costs about $1K but the standards are much lower. I went with licensed adoption agencies, so I don't recall the exact requirements for a home investigation but I'm almost certain there is no medical exam requirement. Without a medical exam, it would be easy to conceal the Cancer issue. It would also be unethical.

Healthy white infants are in short supply for infertile couples seeking to adopt in the US. There is NEVER a situation with a healthy white infant that a child wouldn't have found an adoptive home if a specific family had not adopted them. If L & D had not adopted those children, another family would have. There are reasons adoption agencies require health standards. L wouldn't have ever passed an agency home study. Her only option was the private adoption attorney home investigation. It would have been better for those children to have NOT been adopted into this situation. And now, not only are they condemned to losing a mother twice, but they are apparently separated from their mother in what is undoubtably her final days, yet another layer of trauma for them to endure so that L could have the babies she felt entailed to.

[lilwriter85]

It's always a tough one. Look at nieine....I don't think there anybody who does not have compassion for her injuries, it does not give her a pass on having a public blog where she publicly posts views that others may not agree with. Same with Lori.

My tuppence worth for those who are uncomfortable ...don't read it simples. Don't hand wring and try to hand slap those who are fine with their view. You are not going to change their opinion anyway. Only get yourself annoyed.

My take on Lyndsie was that her view of perfect life included the perfect husband, perfect house, perfect kids . Cancer was not on her agenda and I feel desperately sorry for her in that respect as I would anybody. I think where my sympathy wains is that not only did she feel entitled to realising her dream of kids but that the cancer made her feel even more entitled to reaching this. This sense of entitlement stopped at her own wishes, not how they may effect others...namely the children. It's a sad situation.

NieNie is another good example. I have compassion for her because her life was really turned upside down. But it is hard to find her likable. I didn't get into her blog until after the crash when she was on Oprah and other shows. I read some of her early postings, which at times weren't bad. When I did online research on her, I found other sites discussing her history and some of the questionable things that happened after the crash regarding the donations. I also though the lawsuit against the small town in Arizona was a dick move.

Lyndsie and Daniel are probably more likable than the Nielsons. When Lyndsie and Daniel were planning their wedding, there were a strict budget and they were unable to afford an expensive wedding dress. Anyway, Lyndsie accepted that and was going to borrow some kind of dress from a friend IIRC. Later on, a bridal shop near where Lyndsie gave her dress free of charge and Lyndsie was surprised. Lynsdie and Daniel did make some efforts to save more money after the Aubrey 1 disrupted adoption.I don't think NieNie and Christian would ever change slightly or refuse certain gifts from people. NieNie has a sponsored blog and she doesn't disclose her sponsorships. NieNie acts like she is major celeb in the Mormon world. I think Lynsdie knows how to keep her ego in check.

[lilwriter85]

Most everyone is more likable than Lori Alexander!

I feel really bad for Lyndsie's kids, but I also feel bad for Lyndsie and Daniel. I wonder if their push for adoption before it was medically sound was, in a way, an act of denial-- a refusal to accept the possibility that the cancer may return. It doesn't excuse their irresponsibility if that's the case, but it would be really sad. :(

I think the push to adopt could have been in a act denial combined with a possible need/want to be a young fundie couple with a family . But at the same time, anything can happen to anyone regardless of their health history. I still agree there was some irresponsibility due to Lyndsie not passing the five year mark and to a certain extent, the money issue.

[already hungover]

A relative of my best friend died of ovarian cancer at 22. By the time the primary tumor was found and diagnosed, the cancer had metastasized extensively, and unlike Lyndsie, she never reached a remission. It was a nightmare, and a brutal, horrific way to die.

She left behind a toddler, and I can't imagine what she must have thought when she learned that her condition was terminal and her baby would grow up without her. I may not like Lyndsie that much but I feel awful for her, Daniel, and their children. I hope that her doctors can pull a rabbit out of a hat for her and her family.

[Curious]

NieNie has a sponsored blog and she doesn't disclose her sponsorships.

The FTC takes a *really* dim view of this behavior. Here is one link I found quickly http://www.blogher.com/must-read-ftc-cl ... s-bloggers, but a google search on something like FTC blog disclosure rules will bring you more info than you'd ever want.

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

A relative of my best friend died of ovarian cancer at 22. By the time the primary tumor was found and diagnosed, the cancer had metastasized extensively, and unlike Lyndsie, she never reached a remission. It was a nightmare, and a brutal, horrific way to die.

She left behind a toddler, and I can't imagine what she must have thought when she learned that her condition was terminal and her baby would grow up without her. I may not like Lyndsie that much but I feel awful for her, Daniel, and their children. I hope that her doctors can pull a rabbit out of a hat for her and her family.

I'm so sorry for your friend. Truly it's a horrific cancer with a terrible survival rate.

I can't imagine the grief the children will go through losing a mother twice.

I would not b surprised if Daniel remarried quickly (seems to be the thing for young widowers) if Lyndsie does die, so it's possible they will have had three mothers in less than 5 years. I really hope the doctors can get her into remission again, there is always hope.

[bionicmlle]

L & D live in GA. In fact, I once ran into her at Walmart when we lived in the same town and had to suppress my reaction of recognition.

Anyway, homestudies do not typically cost $1K. They typically cost more. But adoption agencies typically absolutely require Cancer free. The adoption agencies I used in GA (one for a private adoption and one for a foster-adoption) both required a medical exam from my doctor with a statement that my chronic health condition (thyroid) did not impact my lifespan.

GA has something less than a home study. For private attorney adoptions, you only need what is called a home investigation. That costs about $1K but the standards are much lower. I went with licensed adoption agencies, so I don't recall the exact requirements for a home investigation but I'm almost certain there is no medical exam requirement. Without a medical exam, it would be easy to conceal the Cancer issue. It would also be unethical.

Healthy white infants are in short supply for infertile couples seeking to adopt in the US. There is NEVER a situation with a healthy white infant that a child wouldn't have found an adoptive home if a specific family had not adopted them. If L & D had not adopted those children, another family would have. There are reasons adoption agencies require health standards. L wouldn't have ever passed an agency home study. Her only option was the private adoption attorney home investigation. It would have been better for those children to have NOT been adopted into this situation. And now, not only are they condemned to losing a mother twice, but they are apparently separated from their mother in what is undoubtably her final days, yet another layer of trauma for them to endure so that L could have the babies she felt entailed to.

That's really interesting info and I think it had been assumed she'd gone thru private adoption.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

and.... skewer me for bringing this up again, but... I'm not sure how "healthy" her kids would have been deemed. They appear related to me and both, in particular her daughter, appear a bit syndromic -- They are certainly caucasian children but I'm not convinced they would have been regarded by your average Seeking-White-Healthy-Baby-Adopting-Couple as "healthy" although there has *NEVER*, to my knowledge, been any public mention of this.

Of course, no matter what, no children deserve to lose their mother in childhood.

[OkToBeTakei]

The FTC takes a *really* dim view of this behavior. Here is one link I found quickly http://www.blogher.com/must-read-ftc-cl ... s-bloggers, but a google search on something like FTC blog disclosure rules will bring you more info than you'd ever want.

Hey Fluffy one :D

I wonder how on earth nienie gets away with it. Recently a local business commented on one of her instagram pics something like a pop in and see us. The next week lo and behold a blog post about the shop/clothes with her two kids getting a bunch of freebies. Of course nie spins it that this is the only shop who stocks just the perfect swimsuit for her to feel good in due to her scars.

[OkToBeTakei]

Is lazy Lyndsie the friend of Ashley ..The disney perfect life person?

[formergothardite]

Is lazy Lyndsie the friend of Ashley ..The disney perfect life person?

Pretty sure they are. What is the name of Ashley's blog? I can't ever remember it and I would love to check and see if she has had another Disney meltdown. :lol:

[OkToBeTakei]

Pretty sure they are. What is the name of Ashley's blog? I can't ever remember it and I would love to check and see if she has had another Disney meltdown. :lol:

Our happily ever afters. She is just back from Disney, all gushy perfection and matching clothes.

If Lyndsie is cut from the same ilk it is easy to see where she gets her sense of entitlement and expectations of a certain lifestyle from. Just be prepared for monograms gone crazy FG :lol:

[lilwriter85]

Hey Fluffy one :D

I wonder how on earth nienie gets away with it. Recently a local business commented on one of her instagram pics something like a pop in and see us. The next week lo and behold a blog post about the shop/clothes with her two kids getting a bunch of freebies. Of course nie spins it that this is the only shop who stocks just the perfect swimsuit for her to feel good in due to her scars.

The FTC and sponsorship disclosures are constantly brought up on GOMI. Some people over there want to see NieNie brought down for that. Somewhere on GOMI, it was mentioned that BlogHer dropped Mckmama as a blogger, partially because she didn't disclose sponsorships. That made people wonder why BlogHer didn't crack down on Nie. People are still rightfully pissed at what happened last fall when Nie endorsed that energy drink and said it helped her get off pain meds.

When it comes to the other freebies and stuff, NieNie only gets away with it when it comes to her fans. Her fans have it in their heads that Nie doesn't deserve to be called out on anything because she survived that crash. In Provo, she seems still have a fanbase there and probably that local shop knows that she has a following because of her blog. She has gotten freebies from other Provo businesses over the years. Someone here on FJ, said that a Provo ice cream shop has a flavor or some ice cream dish named after Nie. In my opinion, the continued freebies that are still happening six and a half years after the crash is a bit annoying. It was a tragedy and we know that Nie is always going to have health issues due to the burns. She and Christian have both gotten away with some shitty and somewhat shady things, that it becomes hard to sympathize with them. Christian's rant last year on public transportation possibly destroying his neighborhood pissed off a lot of people in Provo.

I wonder, how long Nie's blog, can remain a viable source of income. She has lost supporters over the years. It looks like she only takes a speaking gigs for LDS related events. Her book wasn't a huge best seller. Eventually, businesses or companies will move onto bloggers with younger children to give sponsorships to.

[lilwriter85]

Our happily ever afters. She is just back from Disney, all gushy perfection and matching clothes.

If Lyndsie is cut from the same ilk it is easy to see where she gets her sense of entitlement and expectations of a certain lifestyle from. Just be prepared for monograms gone crazy FG :lol:

I sometimes check out Ashley's blog. I dislike her more than Lyndsie. I was turned off by Ashley when I read the background on why she and her husband adopted. Basically, a colleague of the husband's adopted a child from China and then somehow they were inspired. At time, they couldn't adopt from China because Ashley was under 30. They did the Korean adoption. I've read the GOMi thread on Ashley and she has been called out on different things. Her family is homophobic and Ashley has made some thinly veiled racist comments over the years. Someone on GOMI posted that Ashley made fun of some Asian sterotype on FB, in regards to her son wearing socks with sandals. Ashley posted on GOMI to defend herself, but she never posted afterwards.

[formergothardite]

Our happily ever afters. She is just back from Disney, all gushy perfection and matching clothes.

If Lyndsie is cut from the same ilk it is easy to see where she gets her sense of entitlement and expectations of a certain lifestyle from. Just be prepared for monograms gone crazy FG :lol:

How do people afford to monogram All Of The Things? It is not cheap and yet all three of Ashley's children are always decked out in monogramed outfits. Lydnsie didn't seem as bad as Ashley, but I do remember her going crazy monograming Aubrey Ann on everything.

[lilwriter85]

How do people afford to monogram All Of The Things? It is not cheap and yet all three of Ashley's children are always decked out in monogramed outfits. Lydnsie didn't seem as bad as Ashley, but I do remember her going crazy monograming Aubrey Ann on everything.

Ashley's husband is an anesthesiologist and it appears she comes from a well to do family. I don't think she has ever said what her father does. They travel to Disney every year and she posts going back before she was married of her family vacationing places. Her dad runs in marathons and flies out to them quite a bit. It's a combination of her husband's salary and possibly money from her family that pays for all that monogramming.

I also like that in many of Lyndsie's family photos the kids aren't in matching outfits or monogrammed clothing. Ashley's family photos sometimes looks creepy with the kids wearing matching outfits with monograms. When Ashley's youngest child, was dedicated into their church, all three kids wore matching outfits and I thought that it was too much, especially since the event was mostly for the youngest kid.