Pennington Point daughter escapes/ Has no ID's Part 2

[Walking Cat Bed]

Hello, Faith, and welcome!

[anniebgood]

Hi Faith!!! Welcome from sunny and warm Southern CA! :cracking-up:

[Tesseract]

Welcome, Faith!!

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

Hi Faith! Can't imagine how hard it's been for you to leave your family and start afresh. You have my respect!

My friend also has a mother who had a narsisictic personality disorder and it's so tough for her to maintain a relationship as well as more importantly establishing boundaries to protect herself from her mothers issues.

[Lissa1481]

Welcome to Free Jinger, Faith!

[Soulhuntress]

Welcome Faith!

[16strong]

Hi Faith! We're so glad you stopped by. We've all been wishing the best for you, so hope everything is going well. :)

[calimojo]

Faith, we are happy you are here. I can't imagine how odd and frightening your journey has been, but please know that there are lots of people rooting for you, and for your siblings.

The world is an odd place, full of things that don't make sense, full of wonder, full of good and bad. Take your time and branch out as your feel comfortable and ready. I hope that your actions will inspire your siblings and other children in similar situations to strive for independence.

[ayanna]

Hello FJ! I'm Faith Pennington, the girl with no ID. (kinda funny that my identity is becoming "the girl with no identity") I Googled FJ in September because a friend had told me my escape had made it on there. I've been trying to keep up with the posts. I'm going back no and reading the ones on this thread. Anyway, just wanted to make an appearance and introduce myself.

So happy to see you here, Faith! :dance:

[calimojo]

One more thing Faith: We tend to be rather sarcastic and even harsh in here at times. It is my belief that most of us do this because we worry for the innocent victims of extreme fundamentalism, and we use sarcasm and humor as way to deflect our worries.

You will no doubt read some things about your mom and dad that may seem unkind. I am not going to make excuses for that because your parents are adults and your mom in particular put her lifestyle on display via her blog and so she is open to criticism.

But I want you to know, that you, and your siblings have never been the target of these comments. Our hearts go out to you, and to others in your situation. We want children to live to their potential. To have access to good education, to be given choices, to understand their bodies and their sexuality, to know that those feelings are not sinful. to know unconditional love, and to know that if there is a God, that he/she is loving and doesn't want people to come to him/her out of fear, but because living in love is a better way to live.

You may have days when you wish you could go back. You may find the world away from your family to be hard, and even cruel at times. Life is not easy much of the time. But to have your own life is worth it compared to being forced to live a life someone else chose for you.

We don't know the circumstances of your upbringing, but through your mom's blog, we have formed impressions.

If we were wrong, you can tell us when you feel ready. Or just know, we are happy to have you here, even if you never feel like you want to talk about your experiences.

[moodygirl86]

Hey Faith! Thanks for dropping by in person. Like everyone else, I've read your story and I admire you for standing up for yourself. We're here for you, though I can appreciate if you don't want to go into detailed discussion of this topic - you're probably sick of living it! But please feel free to join in with any threads that interest you as well.

Welcome to the boards, as a poster.

[homeslice]

Faith, I need to apologize to you. I am one of many who did you the disservice of validating your mother's voice. I liked the turquoise piano and projects. I liked what I thought things were like at your house. Your mom seemed to be a better version of me. She seemed to be succeeding.

I skipped the parenting advice. I never read that. I don't share your Mother's religion. I do not believe that Jesus wants me to smack babies. So I didn't pay attention to what she was saying.

I didn't do the math. I didn't think through how old the "kids" your mother was so breezily denigrating were. I didn't pay attention to the comments about driving. That's not what I was interested in.

I have read now, all the things I didn't before. I am sick. I can't believe that I supported this with pageviews. I reinforced your mom's delusions of grandeur by reading. I supported what was happening to you and the rest of your family by overlooking the breezy cruelty and marveling at how she could completely transform a room in 3 days. Of course she could. Her wants were so big in your house they blotted out your actual needs.

I am sorry. I hope that you can forgive me. You did not deserve to grow up as an accessory in your mother's imaginary world. You did not deserve to have your identity subjected to the whims of your parents imaginary world where you were better off undocumented and owned forever. You are beautiful and artistic and brave. You deserved to grow up in a home that revered those things about you.

You deserved to be more important than a piano. You deserve the whole world. I hope you get it.

[apandaaries]

One more thing Faith: We tend to be rather sarcastic and even harsh in here at times. It is my belief that most of us do this because we worry for the innocent victims of extreme fundamentalism, and we use sarcasm and humor as way to deflect our worries.

You will no doubt read some things about your mom and dad that may seem unkind. I am not going to make excuses for that because your parents are adults and your mom in particular put her lifestyle on display via her blog and so she is open to criticism.

But I want you to know, that you, and your siblings have never been the target of these comments. Our hearts go out to you, and to others in your situation. We want children to live to their potential. To have access to good education, to be given choices, to understand their bodies and their sexuality, to know that those feelings are not sinful. to know unconditional love, and to know that if there is a God, that he/she is loving and doesn't want people to come to him/her out of fear, but because living in love is a better way to live.

You may have days when you wish you could go back. You may find the world away from your family to be hard, and even cruel at times. Life is not easy much of the time. But to have your own life is worth it compared to being forced to live a life someone else chose for you.

We don't know the circumstances of your upbringing, but through your mom's blog, we have formed impressions.

If we were wrong, you can tell us when you feel ready. Or just know, we are happy to have you here, even if you never feel like you want to talk about your experiences.

This is beautifully worded. Personally, sarcasm forms my hard outer shell to protect the vulnerable feelings inside... Maybe not the best coping mechanism, but it's what I've got and it helps me laugh. Laughter is one of the very best things for a healing soul.

That said, please know that the FJs are full of support and love for the kids/adults who've grown up in these situations. We truly wish you the best, along with every other human who's had to grow up in such a restricted fashion.

[whoviana]

I said a few things about your Mother, and my opinion hasn't changed and probably never will. If you feel offended about it then I apologize but that doesn't mean that I think otherwise. You probably will come across a few harsh comments, not only from me, but from many people who are worried/outraged/perplexed at the betrayal that your parents had put you through, so don't be surprised. Well at least it's pure good intentions towards you, even if it's raw and unpolished, unlike the fluffy bunny clouds and sugar coating with all the control, manipulation, brainwashing and ABUSE underneath.

[iknowright]

Hi Faith!

I haven't read all of the details of your situation, nor have I read any details about your mom, her beliefs, etc.

I know you're at a pivotal moment in your life and probably very impressionable and I would be too! But I'm not going to pressure you to throw away any faith that you do have to trade it in for another type of faith.

There are lots of sites out there that will tell you you were abused. I have no idea if you were or not. You are probably trying to figure that out as well. I'm only a mom...but my situation is the reverse of your's....

We raised our kids to embrace the world and be part of it. We wanted our kids to experience ALL kinds of people and their cultures. We love academia and achievements and never wanted our kids to be sheltered or hidden. One of my kids got a little sad in his/her life. Probably a little pressured and began hanging out with a fundie family. Long story short, they pulled this adult kid of mine from college, church, friends, and finally us. Much else happened and continues in this situation than can truly be written here. It took us quite some time and careful maneuvering, but a few months ago we were able to restore some contact and gently begin to regain trust and dispel the lies our kid had so blindly believed. My husband said it was worse than the death of his mom.

I'm probably going to get slammed for this, but I think your mom was brainwashed. She needs help. Don't tolerate abuse from her if that is what really happened with her. You'll need some therapy or counseling. Be careful who counsels you, but get that kind of help! Then, I hope this situation will be one where you can still have a relationship with your mom. You do have to protect yourself, but if it is at all possible in the future without causing you further damage, you may be able to help your mom and siblings get some clarity and have a healthy view of church, education and OTHERs. All that I'm telling you may not be possible now, but at some point in the future, I'm really hoping it is.

Also, Faith, be careful of those who just want to use your story for their agenda. You're a real person and your situation is more valuable than someone who just wants to add your list to their dogma.

[blessalessi]

Wow, this is fascinating, and Faith, I am so glad you are here. :)

[VVV]

"Her wants were so big in your house they blotted out your actual needs."

I think this is one of the most poetically true statements I have ever read.

I do not think Faith's mother was brainwashed--Faith's grandparents seem to be normal loving parents and grandparents--but I also don't think that speculation about *how* Lisa Pennington became this person is particularly fruitful. What matters from Faith's perspective is what she grew up with, not *why* her mother made the choices that she [Lisa] did.

And I very much hope that others of Faith's siblings can find their way out of the cage they're in. They are being out and out lied to about how the world works. Grace's posts are the purest evidence of that.

[KittenMitten]

Hi, Faith and welcome. I hope you are well.

I am going to make a comment. I really, really hope I am wrong. I would love to be wrong. But some of the posters that are very new to free Jinger, that seemed to only comment on this thread, just do not seem right to me. If I am wrong, I am truly sorry, but something seems funny.

[feministxtian]

Hello Faith!

I've read your mom's blog and about blew a gasket. I have three children who were "free range" children. You've heard of "helicopter moms"? Well, I was an "alligator mom". In other words, I encouraged my children to take on responsibility for themselves from the time I felt they were mature enough to take that responsibility.

I know I made PLENTY of mistakes with my kids, we had some tough times that I probably didn't cope with as well as I should have, but it is what it is. BUT...my kids were not around for me. I never wrote on a child's chore chart that they needed to tell me I was pretty or any of that other bull. I would have NEVER terrorized my child to force them to say "hi mommy". Nope, not my style.

As rough as things were, my older kids are free, independent souls. One is now Pagan and the other atheist/agnostic. Doesn't matter one whit to me. The third is dabbling back into Christianity (I am a Christian). I've supported them in ALL they've done, all their ambitions, all their goals (and probably given them more money than I should have). I love them for who they are, these three amazing human beings that I had the luck and blessings to have had a hand in creating.

I hope someday you can realize that YOU are AMAZING!!! I hope you get the opportunity to realize ALL your hopes and dreams. I hope you realize that you are not an extension of your mom.

[Hellogorgeous]

I am going to make a comment. I really, really hope I am wrong. I would love to be wrong. But some of the posters that are very new to free Jinger, that seemed to only comment on this thread, just do not seem right to me. If I am wrong, I am truly sorry, but something seems funny.

I understand your concern and can tell you that I (Can not and won't speak about anyone else) am here under no false pretenses.

I have followed Pennington Point on FB for some time now. I follow a lot of decorating/crafting/DIY sires and am honestly not sure how long I've been a follower exactly. I do like Lisa's decorating style and I always sort of glossed over her parenting advice. Im agnostic and have low tolerance for prostetyzing and excessive Godspeak, but PP doesn't really preach so that never stuck out either.

When Lisa posted about her daughter "running away", I, again, just skimmed the post. It wasn't about DIY or anything else I "cared" about. I just figured it was family drama and since I had no vested interest in her family, I didn't really think twice about it.

A few weeks later, faith's story started hitting the liberal FB pages I follow. I read and tsk tsk'd and wondered how this could happen but never actually put 2+2 together. It wasn't until Lisa posted Dad's video response to Faith on her FB page that the 2stories were connected for me.

Honestly, because I didn't pay any attention to her non-decorating stuff, I really never saw Lisa for what she truly was. However, I was hooked on the story. Here was this woman who, through her own storytelling, was this ideal person - beautiful home, loving family, etc. her facade was no completely cracked. Needless to say, It was interesting to me to reconcile that with whT I had been reading about Faith's story. I googled for more info and stumbled upon FJ.

I have to admit, I'm fascinated. Of course, like everyone else on the planet, I knew of the Duggers. But, I had no idea there were so many other famous (infamous?) fundie families out there. I Read a bunch here before I joined and have been keeping up with this story, the Rodrigues family and read all about the crazy dealings with Ex-gay Greg (wow! by the way!)

To be honest, I'm not sure how much I'll actually contribute here. I'm really much more of a lurker than a participant. However, when I saw that Faith had found her way here, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to wish her well and let her know that I thought she was brave.

I realize that this post isn't proof that I'm not here for nefarious reasons. I do hope, however, that it adds some clarification to how this thing could happen quite innocently.

Stepping back into lurk mode...

[homeslice]

I am one of the new ones posting on this thread. I have actually been an FJ lurker since I had a fit one day and just had to know if other people found The Nie Nie dialogues as obnoxious as I do. I have kept my huge yapper shut. I am not a fundie but I am fundie adjacent. I have a large family, a farm, and we homeschool. When I started homeschooling 20 years ago the vast majority of people talking about it were fundies.

I would have been content to quietly giggle about Jill's psychotic baby voice and her shruken headed husband forever.

But then Faith came here. I owe this woman an apology. This looked like my one shot at doing that. But now I am all signed up and even wrote my password down. So you'll probably never get rid of me.

[ayanna]

I, too, am one who came here primarily because of Faith's story. A good friend of mine, who knows the family personally, sent me a link to Faith's video. I started reading everything I could find, hoping that I could help Faith in some way. As long as she is able to obtain the documentation she needs without resubmitting herself to abuse, I will be content.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

I just hope and pray that her siblings will find freedom, as well. I've been wondering for a while whether Grace and Jacob wrote what they did because of their training (one might even say brainwashing), or whether they were ghost-writing for their parents (either being told what to write, or even the parents doing the writing under Grace and Jacob's names).

[LovelyLuna]

Hi Faith! welcome to FJ and the world in general. I have been keeping up with your story and am sending positive vibes and unicorn dust your way.

[KittenMitten]

Thank you Hellogorgeous, home slice and ayanna for answering my fears. Faith's path or journey has seemed to take many twists and she faced many blockades I'm just anxious for her.

Faith, I can not find the words to express my admiration of your bravery and strength. I think because of these very special traits you will find the life that you want. I've been going back and forth in my head if I should give you advice. I'm sure people have been giving you advice at every turn, probably often contradictory. Sorry but here's mine: be good to yourself and be patient with yourself on the hard days and if you can remember on those hard days, good ones eventually return. Be well.

[PrairieGirl]

Welcome, Faith. I am glad you are here. Even if you never post again and are just content to lurk, I am so happy. I am proud of you, girl. Give yourself - and your grandparents - a huge hug from me.

I wish you peace, and health and love.