Duggars Vs. Bates

[ksgranola1]

14 hours ago, Nu2Duggarville said:

What is she a mix of?

Her mother is black & her father is white. Her mother appears to be mixed as well.

[ksgranola1]

1 hour ago, formergothardite said:

I agree, but I think that the better social skills are why they are able to make it look like they are better parents. I don't think that they once ounce better parents than Jim Bob and Michelle. I think they are as distant from their children and just as harsh when it came to discipline, except Kelly might have been harsher with babies than Michelle. But they have good social skills and they are good at reading people, so they were able to quickly figure out what made them look like freaks and hide that part of their life. They were able to adapt to give a better appearance whithout really changing anything.  

I really don't see the "spark" in the Bates kids. They can be rude and have no manners, but the same goes for the Duggar brood. They are outgoing, but I don't think that is a sign that Gil and Kelly were better parents. Especially since Gil is a first class grifter and probably learned long ago that outgoing personable children would bring in more money. 

What gives you the impression that Gil is a grafter? We only see a few minutes of their lives. Gil has a tree business that takes skill and equipment.

[HarleyQuinn]

44 minutes ago, calimojo said:

 

Somewhat off topic,  has anyone noticed how much more subdued Tori has been this season?  She used to be very light hearted and borderline obnoxious like Carlin is these days, but in this season,  she is not nearly as visible,  and she seems content to let Carlin do all the talking when they have TH's.  I wonder if she was warned off because she was perceived as too sassy by some,  or if it is  just a sign of her maturing, or if she is unhappy?   She and Carlin seem less close now and it seems more like Carlin and Josie are the family's "it Girls".  

 

Well, everyone speculated at first that Joe and Tori would be courting eventually, but then everyone moved to Joe and Carlin. Maybe Carlin ended up catching his eye more than her?

[formergothardite]

1 hour ago, ksgranola1 said:

What gives you the impression that Gil is a grafter? We only see a few minutes of their lives. Gil has a tree business that takes skill and equipment.

I feel like deja vu! Didn't this exact conversation happen on this thread or another Bates thread? 

Anyway, I'm not going to bother to go find links because I have already done that a million times in various Bates threads, but Gil had a good paying job that he quit when he went found Gothard. This left the family with no income and no vehicle, since the van they had been using was a company one. Gil then managed to grift a van, a kitchen table, clothes, food, and finally the equipment to cut trees. He pretty much just half-assed the tree business, because it actually does pay well and if he worked hard at it his teen son wouldn't have had to work hard to buy food for the family and they couldn't have had to convince doctors to treat Kelly for free when she was pregnant. But Gil didn't, because he got into running his own church, plus he is a John Shrader level of grifter.

Now Gil and Kelly have changed the story up since they got famous and make it seem like Gil lost his job, but if you go search the Yuku forum and various internet comments from back then you can find people discussing the original blog where they admitted he just quit work so people could give him stuff. 

Of course, the biggest sign that he is a grifter is that he teaches an IBLP course on how to have a ton of kids without having to bother with pesky things like steady work and a steady income. It amounts to "Have kid after kid and get people will give you stuff". 

As for the Duggars, I have been saying for years that without reality tv they would be more independent. I really think that is one of the biggest differences with the older kids and jobs. That, and Gil and Kelly are good at putting on a show of being normal, plus it appears that they look at what people criticize the Duggars for and avoid that. 

I personally could spend a day with the Duggars better than I could with the Bates. I find the Bates more grating, probably because I have a more introverted, socially awkward, Duggar like personality. 

ETA: I do think the Bates kids came out slightly better than the Duggars, but I think that is despite everything their parents did, not because they did anything and that if they had been the family picked by TLC instead of the Duggars their children would not have turned out as well as they did. 

[choralcrusader8613]

17 hours ago, Nu2Duggarville said:

What is she a mix of?

Her mom is from the Dominican Republic (not sure what she identifies as racially), and her dad is white. Here's a picture of the family (title image taken from her dad's Facebook):

 

[Palimpsest]

2 hours ago, ksgranola1 said:

What gives you the impression that Gil is a grafter? We only see a few minutes of their lives. Gil has a tree business that takes skill and equipment.

 It has been discussed once or twice before.  Scroll down the page a bit.

[formergothardite]

Thank you Palimpsest. I knew we had just had this conversation. 

I'm not surprised the Bates have no issue with their kids marrying a mixed race person, because they are more of the "glorify slavery and view themselves as white saviors" type of racists. But the whole thing was brought up in this thread because people thought the Duggars would never allow a relationship like that, but in fact, they did. So it isn't a sign that the Bates are better than the Duggars. 

[ksgranola1]

The Duggars did? I must have missed that.

[THERetroGamerNY]

4 hours ago, ksgranola1 said:

What gives you the impression that Gil is a grafter? We only see a few minutes of their lives. Gil has a tree business that takes skill and equipment.

And fooling people into thinking your family is all happy, cute, and charming via a reality series also takes skill and equipment. :/

[Palimpsest]

23 minutes ago, ksgranola1 said:

The Duggars did? I must have missed that.

Josiah and the young lady who backed out.   Here you go - the first thread:

I don't want to sound unkind - but I do wish some people would read back a bit so they don't humiliate themselves by shoot from the hip posting. 

 

[ksgranola1]

Oh, Marjorie! You can't tell  by looking at her. I forgot that her mother was Hispanic.

[iweartanktops]

5 minutes ago, ksgranola1 said:

Oh, Marjorie! You can't tell  by looking at her. I forgot that her mother was Hispanic.

What does that even mean? 

[VelociRapture]

@ksgranola1 I flat out told you that Marjorie was Latina earlier this month:

Maybe you didn't see it for some reason? I made sure to reply to your initial post though.

31 minutes ago, iweartanktops said:

What does that even mean? 

Yeah... Not really sure what that meant either. 

[ksgranola1]

Quote

@ksgranola1 I flat out told you that Marjorie was Latina earlier this month:

Well excuse me! I'm 73, maybe I lost those brain cells this morning!

[formergothardite]

@ksgranola1 did my response about Gil help you understand why most folks view him as a world class grifter? I understand that Gil and Kelly do put on a good show of being hard working country folks, but in reality they are nothing but grifters who use their many children to get more stuff. 

[nelliebelle1197]

5 hours ago, iweartanktops said:

What does that even mean? 

It means she is the "good" kind of brown person. You know. The kind that can "pass". Because isn't that what all brown people want, silly tanktop?

[VelociRapture]

4 hours ago, ksgranola1 said:

Well excuse me! I'm 73, maybe I lost those brain cells this morning!

I clearly stated in my comment above that maybe you missed my initial post on Marjorie's ethnicity. I meant that sincerely - it happens. I have no clue why you're getting defensive or what your age has to do with this.

2 hours ago, formergothardite said:

@ksgranola1 did my response about Gil help you understand why most folks view him as a world class grifter? I understand that Gil and Kelly do put on a good show of being hard working country folks, but in reality they are nothing but grifters who use their many children to get more stuff. 

I'd admire their ability to market themselves so well if they didn't have such shitty beliefs. Instead it just makes me more angry. 

[MarblesMom]

I grew up in Puerto Rico, although not native, but that is home.  When I tell people that is where I grew up - I hear all sorts of weird things.  "Oh, you are one of "them" or "oh, so you deal drugs" ?!

This baffles, confuses, insults and hurts me.

I have a Mexican SIL and a Chinese DIL.  We are pretty much over analyzing/commenting on "heritage" at our dinner table.

5 hours ago, iweartanktops said:

You can't tell  by looking at her.

@ksgranola1, please help me understand what you meant by this. 

Didn't mean to tag you @iweartanktops.

I also lose brain cells daily, as most of us do, but I am really confused/interested to hear what you really meant by "You can't tell by looking at her."

 

 

[iweartanktops]

4 minutes ago, MarblesMom said:

I grew up in Puerto Rico, although not native, but that is home.  When I tell people that is where I grew up - I hear all sorts of weird things.  "Oh, you are one of "them" or "oh, so you deal drugs" ?!

This baffles, confuses, insults and hurts me.

I have a Mexican SIL and a Chinese DIL.  We are pretty much over analyzing/commenting on "heritage" at our dinner table.

@ksgranola1, please help me understand what you meant by this. 

Didn't mean to tag you @iweartanktops.

I also lose brain cells daily, as most of us do, but I am really confused/interested to hear what you really meant by "You can't tell by looking at her."

 

 

It's all good. I'm still waiting for a response. I noticed the response to Former Gothardite, but *crickets* in response to me. 

[MarblesMom]

Well, it might be night-night time for some.  I am very interested to hear what she/he meant.

Another example of "you can't tell by looking at her" was when we went to Chile... and a really nice restaurant worker tried to teach me some basic Spanish... thinking "GRINGOS.... WE HAVE GRINGOS".... and I held out my hand and told him "Yo hablo espanol. Me llamo xxxx y mucho gusto."  He wanted to sink into the floor and his co - workers were dying laughing.

Still happens today.  I love listening in on "foreign" conversations.  BWAHAHA

 

 

[AliceInFundyland]

Not enough brain cells left for a creative response. 

[VelociRapture]

7 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

Well, it might be night-night time for some.  I am very interested to hear what she/he meant.

Another example of "you can't tell by looking at her" was when we went to Chile... and a really nice restaurant worker tried to teach me some basic Spanish... thinking "GRINGOS.... WE HAVE GRINGOS".... and I held out my hand and told him "Yo hablo espanol. Me llamo xxxx y mucho gusto."  He wanted to sink into the floor and his co - workers were dying laughing.

Still happens today.  I love listening in on "foreign" conversations.  BWAHAHA

 

 

I so wish I was fluent in another language just so I could do this. 

[formergothardite]

13 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

I'd admire their ability to market themselves so well if they didn't have such shitty beliefs. Instead it just makes me more angry. 

Their ability to market themselves as wholesome and hard-working is impressive. The Duggars just can't do that. They are just so oblivious to how most people view them and their beliefs. 

@ksgranola1 another reason to believe that Gil isn't really working hard at a tree business is that he couldn't even bother to keep the company website up and running. There is a FB page that hasn't been updated since 2013. People have asked questions on their page about getting estimates and if they do large trees and nobody bothers to respond. 

[ksgranola1]

14 hours ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

It means she is the "good" kind of brown person. You know. The kind that can "pass". Because isn't that what all brown people want, silly tanktop?

I meant that she has blonde hair & blue eyes. I never met a blonde Latino.

[PennySycamore]

@ksgranola1, blonde Latinos do exist although they are uncommon.  I think I recall several winners of the Miss Universe pageant who were blondes from Venezuela or Colombia.