John Shrader: Killing Snakes & Grifting Appliances for Jesus

[Palimpsest]

Check out John's comment on this picture. I officially love his brothers. :lol:

https://www.facebook.com/houstonfashion ... =1&theater

Sock it to him, Jace! :dance: :lol: :lol: :lol: :dance:

Edge and Seth seem very normal too.

Yes, if John is the only one following in Daddy's footsteps it could explain why Rick Shrader keeps bailing him out.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Woah, how are these people related to John Shrader? Even in looks, I am not an expert on male attractiveness, being a lesbian, but those men aren't that bad looking. John looks like a smug douche, and has a very punchable face.

[Joan of Snarc]

I vote Shrader is dumb as a box of rox.

Expert professional grifters, like Gothard, Driscoll and Phillips, are able to fleece the sheeple for years and years, enriching themselves with millions before their inevitable fall. Shrader can't even keep the gravy train going for six months.

Sure, he's had limited success (troupie, plane, getting megafamily to Africa), but he's an amateur and he'll never have big boi grifting success like those others guys because he just doesn't have the intelligence or charisma.

Also, he might be a True Believer^tm while guys like Gothard, Driscoll and Phillips were essentially religio-entrepreneurs looking for a market to exploit and an empire to create.

[formergothardite]

John looks too much like his father. They both have that perpetually smug look about them.

[Palimpsest]

Shrader has managed to keep his con going for about 3 years now. He may be a True Believer^tm but he's been pulling a bait and switch with his funders for that length of time too.

Come to think of it, being True Believer^tm, as dumb as a box of rocks and being evil are not mutually exclusive. The only difference between John and Gothard, Driscoll and Phillips is just the amounts conned. BG, MD and DP may also be true believers.

They are also all as narcissistic as hell.

[Buzzard]

I've always wondered if theres an episode on the TLC cutting room floor where J'anna goes to visit Esther (in between pregnancies, of course). They seem to love exploiting her relationship with her sisters, regardless of their krazy husbands. Maybe John acted the fool and they couldnt get enough material so they went with another dentist episode... I guess we'll never know...

[DarkAnts]

I vote Shrader is dumb as a box of rox

That is an insult to my pet rock Fluffy

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

Check out John's comment on this picture. I officially love his brothers. :lol:

https://www.facebook.com/houstonfashion ... =1&theater

Loves his brothers no matter what

Why put no matter what there. No matter if one is a model? Is one of them gay? An atheist? Hmmm....

John is the image of his father. So smug. That hat is terrible.

[Joan of Snarc]

That is an insult to my pet rock Fluffy

My apologies. I'm sure Fluffy contributes more to society than Shrader does.

:)

[Georgiana]

My apologies. I'm sure Fluffy contributes more to society than Shrader does.

:)

Yes, rocks everywhere are KNOWN for being excellent at holding things down. No matter what you have, if you put a rock on it, it's probably going to stay there.

On the other hand, I have yet to see ONE SINGLE THING (like a job or a sponsorship or a living situation) that John Schrader COULD hold down.

Now you're probably like "Yeah, but could a rock be a missionary in Zambia?". Please! In the Old Testament, God used water from a ROCK to encourage people to have faith in him! That means that ROCKS have actually converted MORE PEOPLE than John. By a lot.

God used rocks in other ways too. Like what did he trust to seal Jesus' tomb? A ROCK. Because when the ROCK was moved, that's how you KNEW something was up. Rocks don't move. But John packs up and moves all the time. If you put a John in front of Jesus' tomb, people wouldn't even have known that something had happened on Easter Sunday when he wasn't there. Probably just thought that John and the Tomb got into a doctrinal dispute.

Even God knows that rocks are more useful than John Schrader.

[formergothardite]

Yes, rocks everywhere are KNOWN for being excellent at holding things down. No matter what you have, if you put a rock on it, it's probably going to stay there.

On the other hand, I have yet to see ONE SINGLE THING (like a job or a sponsorship or a living situation) that John Schrader COULD hold down.

Now you're probably like "Yeah, but could a rock be a missionary in Zambia?". Please! In the Old Testament, God used water from a ROCK to encourage people to have faith in him! That means that ROCKS have actually converted MORE PEOPLE than John. By a lot.

God used rocks in other ways too. Like what did he trust to seal Jesus' tomb? A ROCK. Because when the ROCK was moved, that's how you KNEW something was up. Rocks don't move. But John packs up and moves all the time. If you put a John in front of Jesus' tomb, people wouldn't even have known that something had happened on Easter Sunday when he wasn't there. Probably just thought that John and the Tomb got into a doctrinal dispute.

Even God knows that rocks are more useful than John Schrader.

And all of God's people said "AMEN!" :lol:

Rocks are way more useful and contribute more to society than John.

[Gobsmacked]

You rock Georgiana :clap: :lol:

I'm off to bed happy now after a strange day.

[salex]

Woah, how are these people related to John Shrader? Even in looks, I am not an expert on male attractiveness, being a lesbian, but those men aren't that bad looking. John looks like a smug douche, and has a very punchable face.

I think the other boys and the sister (not sure if there are other sisters) got Mom's looks and John got his Dad's looks.

[KittenMitten]

My apologies. I'm sure Fluffy contributes more to society than Shrader does.

:)

Yes. I shouldn't have used a box of rocks as an example. I had a pet rock when I was a kid, and my pet rock was sweet and smart. My apologies to Fluffy also.

[Jezebel]

Yes, rocks everywhere are KNOWN for being excellent at holding things down. No matter what you have, if you put a rock on it, it's probably going to stay there.[...]

[genius post reluctantly snipped for brevity]

Oh. My. Goodness.

I got smacked down by the flu last week, and today I've still been hacking up stingy little gobs of lungbutter, wishing it would all just shake loose and come up so I can be done with it.

And then I read this post, and laughed so hard I birthed a lung foal worthy of Treemom. Or, if that's too old-meme to be comprehensible, I ejected a quantity of lungbutter that would make Zsu's eyes light up.

YOU HAVE HEALED ME (or close enough)! IT IS A MIRACLE (or at least pretty nifty)! GEORGIANA BE PRAISED! \o/

[Georgiana]

Oh. My. Goodness.

I got smacked down by the flu last week, and today I've still been hacking up stingy little gobs of lungbutter, wishing it would all just shake loose and come up so I can be done with it.

And then I read this post, and laughed so hard I birthed a lung foal worthy of Treemom. Or, if that's too old-meme to be comprehensible, I ejected a quantity of lungbutter that would make Zsu's eyes light up.

YOU HAVE HEALED ME (or close enough)! IT IS A MIRACLE (or at least pretty nifty)! GEORGIANA BE PRAISED! \o/

I am happy you are feeling better! And really, it was just low hanging fruit. I am sure even the virus you had worked harder than John!

[PrairieGirl]

I haven't been on FJ since last night and I am DYING here.

Firstly, that someone has a pet rock named Fluffy. I bow to you.

Secondly, Georgiana - if I had ever heard a sermon half as awesome as the one you preached, I would have never left church!

Thirdly, the fact that John Shrader has a brother named Edge. And a brother who is a model. I am sure they appreciate the fact that their loser-grifter brother loves them "no matter what".

John Shrader is a precious asshole.

[Georgiana]

Thank you all for your encouragement ::smile::

If only the Lord had not made me a lowly woman, I would consider that perhaps I have a gift of preaching ::blush::

As it is, I have discussed this with my headships, and we have decided that we will rent out space in a very questionable strip-mall and start our own "Church of the Rock", with only TRUE doctrine regarding the usefulness of rocks.

Since I cannot preach, my headship will do it for me. Both services and weddings will feature a large cat wearing ill-fitting clothes (he only fits into dog size mediums) yowling and caterwauling about nothing.

We expect a fairly good turn out, seeing as it will be completely indistinguishable from PP and John's congregations. People may wander in by mistake.

[Cartmann99]

Thank you all for your encouragement ::smile::

If only the Lord had not made me a lowly woman, I would consider that perhaps I have a gift of preaching ::blush::

As it is, I have discussed this with my headships, and we have decided that we will rent out space in a very questionable strip-mall and start our own "Church of the Rock", with only TRUE doctrine regarding the usefulness of rocks.

Since I cannot preach, my headship will do it for me. Both services and weddings will feature a large cat wearing ill-fitting clothes (he only fits into dog size mediums) yowling and caterwauling about nothing.

We expect a fairly good turn out, seeing as it will be completely indistinguishable from PP and John's congregations. People may wander in by mistake.

:worship:

[Joan of Snarc]

Thank you all for your encouragement ::smile::

If only the Lord had not made me a lowly woman, I would consider that perhaps I have a gift of preaching ::blush::

As it is, I have discussed this with my headships, and we have decided that we will rent out space in a very questionable strip-mall and start our own "Church of the Rock", with only TRUE doctrine regarding the usefulness of rocks.

Since I cannot preach, my headship will do it for me. Both services and weddings will feature a large cat wearing ill-fitting clothes (he only fits into dog size mediums) yowling and caterwauling about nothing.

We expect a fairly good turn out, seeing as it will be completely indistinguishable from PP and John's congregations. People may wander in by mistake.

I've got your megachurch sign all ready to go:

:shifty-kitty:

[formergothardite]

I'll join the Church of the Rock as long as we don't have to sing this song

[bBvideo 560,340:ia4j2rkf]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wpb-rfCaPPE[/bBvideo]

[SPHASH]

I'll join the Church of the Rock as long as we don't have to sing this song

[bBvideo 560,340:hbtdlh29]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wpb-rfCaPPE[/bBvideo]

They sound just as bad as the Maxwells.

[Georgiana]

I'll join the Church of the Rock as long as we don't have to sing this song

[bBvideo 560,340:12xool9b]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wpb-rfCaPPE[/bBvideo]

Unfortunately, I cannot say. I am planning to make Jill Rodrigues the music director so that I can secretly get those kids some necessities. We all know what kind of taste Jill has (or doesn't have), so I think it is very likely this song will be used.

I am planning on using Church of the Rock as a front to help children/people stuck with a headship/parent that is clearly of less use than a Rock escape. We lure these headships in with a false sense of security due to our TRUE and SUPERIOR doctrine and yowling pastor, we ask them to join our "Box of Rocks" ministry (only for select Visionary Leaders who are TRUE ROCKS of the faith, naturally!) to keep them there, and before you know it, the kids are clothed, fed, and OUT OF THERE.

There will also be a "Tits2 Rocks" group for women like Jill Rodrigues and that Pennington woman who are worse mothers than your average rock.

[Cheetah]

I haven't been on FJ since last night and I am DYING here.

Thirdly, the fact that John Shrader has a brother named Edge. And a brother who is a model. I am sure they appreciate the fact that their loser-grifter brother loves them "no matter what".

Would totally love to see a FJ guest appearance (or a reddit AMA :-)) by Jace and Edge Shrader! C'mon, guys, come tell us the low-down on John.

[formergothardite]

Tits2 Rock Group. :lol: :lol: :lol: I will endure the bad music just for a woman's group like that.