John Shrader: Killing Snakes & Grifting Appliances for Jesus

[nelliebelle1197]

Oh. My. Goodness.

I got smacked down by the flu last week, and today I've still been hacking up stingy little gobs of lungbutter, wishing it would all just shake loose and come up so I can be done with it.

And then I read this post, and laughed so hard I birthed a lung foal worthy of Treemom. Or, if that's too old-meme to be comprehensible, I ejected a quantity of lungbutter that would make Zsu's eyes light up.

YOU HAVE HEALED ME (or close enough)! IT IS A MIRACLE (or at least pretty nifty)! GEORGIANA BE PRAISED! \o/

She brought forth a butter-covered lung foal! XGG and Dede would be proud!

[nelliebelle1197]

Well, you didn't know and God forgives...so long as you agree to ALWAYS maintain a proper level of remorse for your actions and NEVER imply that the removal of rocks from your yard in any way, shape, or form could possibly be tied to anything positive in your life. Even if you removed them to save your house from flooding/falling over, there is no justification for rock removal! Perhaps God WANTED to flood your house so that he could work a miracle by un-flooding it!!!

But even though you are forgiven, remember that anything bad that ever happens to you for the rest of your life is probably God punishing you for removing the rocks he blessed you with!

The Church of the Rock will never judge you for your actions before you were saved*!

*Too your face. Snide comments will be made and judgement/disapproval will be heavy behind your back.

May I please be the associate pastor of snide comments and judgements? I will even sacrifice my salary (but not my cut of the cash in the offering plate) for the honor!

Can I be??? PLEAAAZE?

I will contribute this song, also considered evil in my IFB days. In fact, I now have an earrock from it:

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(I used to listen to this song on my Walkman and cry. Oh boy)

[KittenMitten]

How about the song We Will Rock You, by Queen?

[formergothardite]

May I please be the associate pastor of snide comments and judgements? I will even sacrifice my salary (but not my cut of the cash in the offering plate) for the honor!

Can I be??? PLEAAAZE?

I will contribute this song, also considered evil in my IFB days. In fact, I now have an earrock from it:

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(I used to listen to this song on my Walkman and cry. Oh boy)

I adored Sandi Patty. She was evil, of course and I had to wonder if I was giving Satan a stronghold in my life, but her songs really spoke to me. I still like Love in Any Language. With lyrics like this:

We teach the young our differences,

Yet look how we're the same

Oh maybe when we realize

How much there is to share

We'll find too much in common

To pretend it isn't there

It isn't any wonder that fundies considered her a bad influence.

[Howl]

Not rock related, but

"If my heart could do my thinking and my head begin to feel, I'd look upon the world anew and know what's truly real, what's truly real."

Van Morrison

[JeanieCat]

From reading the Shrader brothers FB pages(Jace and Edge) I am certain they would embrace Van Morrison! Unlike John, they seem very open to life. Don't know about Sarah.

[DarkAnts]

She forgot to mention the fluffy rocks like my pet Fluffy

[Palimpsest]

She forgot to mention the fluffy rocks like my pet Fluffy

Fluffy is a Tribble - on a Rock. I'm scared!

[DarkAnts]

Fluffy is a Tribble - on a Rock. I'm scared!

It's okanite, the fuzzy stuff is fine crystals. I got Fluffy in college because we could not have pets in the dorm.

[JeanieCat]

Are magic rocks allowed to join?

[DarkAnts]

Are magic rocks allowed to join?

Magic rocks are always welcome.

[slickcat79]

Not to divert too much attention from the Independent Freewill Church of the Holy Rock :lol: ...but John shared a post saying that he was back in Zambia after 2 weeks in TX. He went to his dad's church as well as Christchurch Baptist, and got to see his sister.

He has promised pics and video!

[formergothardite]

If the video is private, you must describe it for us!

[ThisOlGirl]

Can we work this guy into the Church of the Rock? I could stare at his, uh, countenance all day long. Yeah, that's it. His countenance.

[Trynn]

I dunno... He looks suspiciously like a non rock to me.

[thoughtful]

What is the Church of the Rock's stand on mind-altering substances? Is it OK to get . . . stoned?

Is it all right to be either a stalactite or a stalagmite, or is one a sin? And if so, which?

If a geode has been broken open before getting married, is she still considered pure, or are her internal crystals like chewed gum?

[Trynn]

Stoned has the word stone in it which is related to rock, so the rock god approves.

[16strong]

Stoned has the word stone in it which is related to rock, so the rock god approves.

So crystal meth is also okay?

[thoughtful]

How does the Church of the Rock stand on Creationism? Or, as the line from Inherit the Wind would have it, are we more interested in the Rock of Ages or the ages of rocks?

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[KittenMitten]

How does the Church of the Rock stand on Creationism? Or, as the line from Inherit the Wind would have it, are we more interested in the Rock of Ages or the ages of rocks?

[bBvideo 560,340:2prlf1rg]

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:worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship:

Thank you thoughtful. I forgot about this amazing movie with it's stellar cast. Funny. First time I saw this movie I was on bed rest awaiting my precious blessing. This movie helped me get through. Ok, off to re watch it.

[DaffyDill]

How does the Church of the Rock stand on Creationism? Or, as the line from Inherit the Wind would have it, are we more interested in the Rock of Ages or the ages of rocks?

[bBvideo 560,340:2u7zmzo7]

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Oh Thoughtful, you win todays internets for that. What an awesome movie!

[Miggy]

Loves his brothers no matter what

Why put no matter what there. No matter if one is a model? Is one of them gay? An atheist? Hmmm....

John is the image of his father. So smug. That hat is terrible.

Mmmmmm, that Jace is very easy on the eye, isn't he? :lol:

[GeoBQn]

From Rick Shrader's page (set to Public):

John Shrader is back home safely in Zambia. It was great to spend two weeks with him. I got an insight of how much different life is for missionaries in a country like Zambia. We have so much here in the U.S. We take most everthing for granted. This may be another way of saying that we do not recognize the abundance we enjoy and fall short of being truly grateful. The song comes to mind, " I Wonder Have I Done My Best For Jesus?" I need do nothing to receive His Grace but once received through repentance and faith, my life should have evidenced that Grace through my actions and attitude. I am humbled by John and Esther's contentment and love for the field of service God has called them too. Even the older children love being there. The younger ones just love life. Thank you all that are standing with them, praying for them and and that give sacrificially so God can place such enthusiastic and faithful hearts in such a needy place. One supporting pastor that has the opportunity to know many missionaries told me that John's passion is very rare, just confirms that God loves Zambia and has sent a choice family to share His love. I know they have much growing to do and this present discouragement has challenged them to fully trust their Heavenly Father. I believe God is working for His good through it all. May God bless all of you.

[formergothardite]

Content is not the word I would use to describe John. The man complained about not having ice cubes while people around him went without food.

[JeanieCat]

"I know they have much growing to do" is a telling phrase. Guess Rick has to apologize to the "senders" for John's stupidity(selfishness) without being too obvious!