A decade of breastfeeding

[DGayle]

As others have said, it isn't a badge of honour. Great for all who can do it! My mother couldn't nurse. So we got formula. It just made her a person who used whatever resources she had.

My mom also couldn't nurse. There just plain wasn't the support to help women learn how. I'm lucky I've had continued support and a husband who supports my choice to let the kids wean. Too many women are told to wean once babies start solids, and too many are shamed for breastfeeding at all. And I feel bad for the moms who want to, but don't have the support or help learning. Bloggy-lady is just wanting a badge and for people to look at her and admire her. Why not use that solid decade bragging rights to promote programs to help other moms nurse, or to promote authentic benefits to not stopping at 6 months just because society says so?

[DGayle]

I have several friends who remember nursing, men and women alike, and none of them have issues with it. It was just a normal, natural thing. No big deal.

[littlemommy]

I nursed all three of mine. I feel like the oddity in my Le Leche League group (and here too, I guess)...I never felt like breastfeeding was this mystical sacrifice. I was like, here's some milk, kid. My boys liked nursing but also drank formula from dad. The literally gave no shits what they ate. My current baby will turn one next week and I nursed until about two weeks ago. I had a hysterectomy recently (too many c-sections) and my milk supply never recovered. When it was finally over and the girl child switched to formula I was pretty happy, actually. I felt like taking some cold medicine just because I could. At Christmas I spiked my eggnog.

So I suppose in total I spent a little under three years nursing. I feel okay about that. They also all drank formula. I feel good about that, too.

[August]

I nursed all three of mine. I feel like the oddity in my Le Leche League group (and here too, I guess)...I never felt like breastfeeding was this mystical sacrifice. I was like, here's some milk, kid. My boys liked nursing but also drank formula from dad. The literally gave no shits what they ate. My current baby will turn one next week and I nursed until about two weeks ago. I had a hysterectomy recently (too many c-sections) and my milk supply never recovered. When it was finally over and the girl child switched to formula I was pretty happy, actually. I felt like taking some cold medicine just because I could. At Christmas I spiked my eggnog.

So I suppose in total I spent a little under three years nursing. I feel okay about that. They also all drank formula. I feel good about that, too.

You're lucky, for most people supplementing kills their supply. Others get shitty advice, like I wasn't told to make sure to pump every week so my kid wouldn't forget how to take a bottle, and I sat in a LLL meeting and heard a leader puposefully tell a woman who was going to go back to work to wait until three months to introduce a bottle. I had about five fights with her that meeting over plain wrong advice she was giving and never went back. I think I meant to complain about her, but forgot. She was a real bitch.

I still really enjoy taking sudafed and it's been several years since that first joyous post-nursing cold when I realised I could gave them again. But I can't believe you didn't drink that whole time! Crazy!

[nelliebelle1197]

This is that annoying English chick, right? Blog link handy? I don't think I bookmarked her.

[Tesseract]

I nursed all three of mine. I feel like the oddity in my Le Leche League group (and here too, I guess)...I never felt like breastfeeding was this mystical sacrifice. I was like, here's some milk, kid. My boys liked nursing but also drank formula from dad. The literally gave no shits what they ate. My current baby will turn one next week and I nursed until about two weeks ago. I had a hysterectomy recently (too many c-sections) and my milk supply never recovered. When it was finally over and the girl child switched to formula I was pretty happy, actually. I felt like taking some cold medicine just because I could. At Christmas I spiked my eggnog.

So I suppose in total I spent a little under three years nursing. I feel okay about that. They also all drank formula. I feel good about that, too.

We all have such different experiences. I never felt it was a sacrifice either. It was just what we did. Mine did not take formula, though drank milk in his toddler years in addition to nursing.

I suspect, in his case, nursing was very much a comfort thing as he was in chronic pain from GI/CR disorders. I'm glad/feel lucky my body was able to give him what he needed. It was a lifesaver many times, especially in the hospital.

I'm inserting a rant of sorts here - not directed at anyone in particular :)

I took a lot of flack from well-meaning people, but had incredible support from others. Frankly, I didn't give a rip about what other people thought. I was just trying to do what was best for my son, like most parents do.

I can see the need to re-educate women about breastfeeding after the big "Gerber Baby" push to formula. But, as with a lot of things, the backlash went overboard.

Information is one thing, but leave the guilt out of it. Like birth plans and diapers and a host of other decisions with babies/children, you can plan all you want, but life happens. I had a midwife and a birth plan and a nice picture in my mind - until the day my blood pressure skyrocketed to 200/100. C-section it was. I intended to cloth diaper, but it turned out that my son's skin was super sensitive, so we tried EC. We got pretty good at it until he started eating more solids and his GI/CR condition worsened. He ended up in a mix of underwear and disposable diapers depending on his surgeries... until he was close to 6 1/2. Then, there are a plethora of other factors, like whether you are home or working, milk supply, allergies, the mother's need for meds and what-have-you... It all adds up to a big ball of what makes it work for the individuals involved.

[ladyaudley]

This is that annoying English chick, right? Blog link handy? I don't think I bookmarked her.

it is indeed. her nauseatingly obsessive pregnancy blog is alicesbaby.blogspot.com and her main blog is linked from that. She says herself she is "longwinded(!)" and she does not exaggerate.

ETA: you do have to dig through the word vomit to find the things like the fact half her days are so exhausting because so much time is spent "discplining". She has a link to Raising Godly Tomatoes, which advocates spanking.

[Closed Womb]

snip

Another fun fact - in her old sheep dip blog she often wrote of her struggles with same-sex attraction. Hasn't mentioned that again for a long time, but again, eleventy kids will distract you I guess.

snip

Ahh, this explains so much. Why her husband sleeps with the boys until such time as she's ovulating (that is, it seems they only have sex -- parsnips, in her parlance -- for procreation) and her admitted fear of sex.

I feel horrible for these children. It's obvious she cannot handle the work. But she is, by far, my favorite of all the bloggers. I wish she'd update way more. Her obsession with things she has no proof of -- one of her children being a twin, miscarried the second baby, for instance -- just fascinates me.

[Smartshoes]

For me the "ultimate sacrifice" was recognizing that for middle or upper middle class families in industrialized nations the "benefits" of breastfeeding are overblown, letting go of the idea that I would be doing less than the "best" and choosing formula when my supply dried up and my daughter was losing weight.

[ladyaudley]

But she is, by far, my favorite of all the bloggers. I wish she'd update way more. Her obsession with things she has no proof of -- one of her children being a twin, miscarried the second baby, for instance -- just fascinates me.

aaw yeah, I'd forgotten about that! Isn't it based on the fact his cowlick turns the other way round from his siblings or some horseshit like that?

The same-sex attraction thing is definitely interesting.

Wasn't there some social services involvement ages ago she tried to downplay? I wish she'd update more frequently, too... I only remembered her existence the other day because of another thread's discussion of Pre-Seed lubricant, which she writes about on her charting page. (Yes, I have too much time). And I suppose her actual geographical closeness to me is fascinating.

[samurai_sarah]

My mom also couldn't nurse. There just plain wasn't the support to help women learn how. I'm lucky I've had continued support and a husband who supports my choice to let the kids wean. Too many women are told to wean once babies start solids, and too many are shamed for breastfeeding at all. And I feel bad for the moms who want to, but don't have the support or help learning. Bloggy-lady is just wanting a badge and for people to look at her and admire her. Why not use that solid decade bragging rights to promote programs to help other moms nurse, or to promote authentic benefits to not stopping at 6 months just because society says so?

While I agree that support was lacking, in my mum's case, it was plain physical issues. Mum was tiny, and had big babies. Older brother failed to thrive, because she simply didn't produce enough milk. Formula saved us lot from starving. ;)

[August]

While I agree that support was lacking, in my mum's case, it was plain physical issues. Mum was tiny, and had big babies. Older brother failed to thrive, because she simply didn't produce enough milk. Formula saved us lot from starving. ;)

My aunt was possibly the only woman ever who actually had huge enough storage that her babies naturally ate at four hourly intervals when that was absolutely de rigeur for baby feeding in the 60s. I kid you not, she'd feed the baby, go to work, then at lunch time, go and feed again, back to work and pick him up at the end of the day, and not a pacifier or minute of crying involved, and they were big, too. My kids blew her mind. :mrgreen:

[2xx1xy1JD]

The whole "I nursed a baby and a toddler while I was pregnant" thing sounds a bit like the old Babycenter boards I was on, filled with moms trying to outdo each other.

I weaned Girl 1 when I was newly pregnant again, and nursing was no longer comfortable. She was almost 2, so I figured it was about time.

Girl 2 was weaned was I was 4 mos. preg. with The Boy.

Personally, it was hard to nurse when I first got started, but after that, it was fairly easy. I realized later that I was pretty lucky - I happen to make a lot of milk, and my kids figured out how to latch without needing tons of help. I watched my sister and SILs struggle much more.

[Hane]

My daughter's best friend simply couldn't lactate at all--and later learned that her mother couldn't, either. Meanwhile, if my daughter had lived in 18th-century France, she could've been the village wetnurse.

Fortunately, my daughter was supportive of her friend. I swear, people can get competitive over the stupidest things sometimes.

[SoybeanQueen]

I swear, people can get competitive over the stupidest things sometimes.

Right? I nursed both of my bio kids as much as I could. (My other kids came to us well after the point when nursing would have been acceptable, or I would have done so for them, as well.) Had very low supply, which required a lot of medications and lactation consultant appointments and hours using a pump. It's still not an ultimate sacrifice or badge of honor, because it's, you know, boobs making milk.

Not like feeding a baby is huge reason for bragging, anyway. Even the crappiest of mothers often get the "feed the kid" part right.

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

For me the "ultimate sacrifice" was recognizing that for middle or upper middle class families in industrialized nations the "benefits" of breastfeeding are overblown, letting go of the idea that I would be doing less than the "best" and choosing formula when my supply dried up and my daughter was losing weight.

Thank YOU! People think breast milk is this amazing magic elixir but really, apart from the first 3 days of antibodies in the colostrum it's not as amazing as we are told.

[August]

Right? I nursed both of my bio kids as much as I could. (My other kids came to us well after the point when nursing would have been acceptable, or I would have done so for them, as well.) Had very low supply, which required a lot of medications and lactation consultant appointments and hours using a pump. It's still not an ultimate sacrifice or badge of honor, because it's, you know, boobs making milk.

Not like feeding a baby is huge reason for bragging, anyway. Even the crappiest of mothers often get the "feed the kid" part right.

No, they often don't. I knew people IRL who took the feeding part as optional (only still speak to the ones I'm related to). Ever read Ezzo? Gina Ford? If you think sleep training is hard, these people do food training.

[ExCatholic]

aaw yeah, I'd forgotten about that! Isn't it based on the fact his cowlick turns the other way round from his siblings or some horseshit like that?

The same-sex attraction thing is definitely interesting.

Wasn't there some social services involvement ages ago she tried to downplay? I wish she'd update more frequently, too... I only remembered her existence the other day because of another thread's discussion of Pre-Seed lubricant, which she writes about on her charting page. (Yes, I have too much time). And I suppose her actual geographical closeness to me is fascinating.

Yeah, she decided at like five days post ovulation that she was having twins, then harrased the ultrasound tech into saying MAYBE there MIGHT be another heartbeat, but it was unclear. Next appointment there was obviously only one, so she had a melt down. All the commentors who'd encouraged her were pretty quiet after that. The hair whorl is used as proof that there was another baby. Also, she used one of her favorite names for the nonexistent twin and then was sad she couldn't use it again :) considered using it anyway as I recall!

The social services thing was so hush hush. I wonder if their FINALLY moving after years of talking about it was influenced by the visits?

[Tesseract]

Yeah, she decided at like five days post ovulation that she was having twins, then harrased the ultrasound tech into saying MAYBE there MIGHT be another heartbeat, but it was unclear. Next appointment there was obviously only one, so she had a melt down. All the commentors who'd encouraged her were pretty quiet after that. The hair whorl is used as proof that there was another baby. Also, she used one of her favorite names for the nonexistent twin and then was sad she couldn't use it again :) considered using it anyway as I recall!

The social services thing was so hush hush. I wonder if their FINALLY moving after years of talking about it was influenced by the visits?

:pink-shock: Wow. So much crazy - so little time!

[Mama Mia]

I nursed all three of mine. I feel like the oddity in my Le Leche League group (and here too, I guess)...I never felt like breastfeeding was this mystical sacrifice. I was like, here's some milk, kid. My boys liked nursing but also drank formula from dad. The literally gave no shits what they ate. My current baby will turn one next week and I nursed until about two weeks ago. I had a hysterectomy recently (too many c-sections) and my milk supply never recovered. When it was finally over and the girl child switched to formula I was pretty happy, actually. I felt like taking some cold medicine just because I could. At Christmas I spiked my eggnog.

So I suppose in total I spent a little under three years nursing. I feel okay about that. They also all drank formula. I feel good about that, too.

I never went to Le Leche or any of that. I think I was very lucky that the women in my family all breastfed on demand. Even in the heyday of universal formula feeding and scheduling. My mom in the early sixties, my grandmas in the forties. So it was just what you did. I never minded giving an occasional bottle of formula though, if I was going out, or needed some sleep and someone was willing to give it. One kid switched back and forth no problem, one would scream bloody murder if I was gone more than two hours - but if she got hungry enough she'd eat. Did make it hard to get repeat sitters though :lol: . One baby I had to go back to work fairly early and that was way back when it was the manual pumps -what a joke. So he ended up only nursing at night and in the morning after 6 months. I tandem nursed the two youngest - what was funny about those was the older was the one baby who hadn't had any formula, because it just hadn't come up that I had a chance to go out, and I got pregnant anyway! Hated the tandem nursing -- I was exhausted! But couldn't turn down the poor older ones sad little face. He was still a baby.

So, different experiences with all of them. They nursed on demand and self-weaned between 10 months and 3 years.

But yeah, I never saw it as a big sacrificial thing. It was just what you fed your baby. If you wanted to take a break and give a bottle of formula that's what most people in my peer group did in the 80's-90's. And how my daughters and co-workers are doing it.. If you had to go back to work and/or had shared custody you did breastfeeding and partial formula. Unless you were really lucky and could pump volumes.

I have noticed that friends whose moms didn't breastfeed, or whose moms weren't around, had a much harder time and often nursed for just a few weeks. My personal observation is that the lactation consultants and gadgets and emphasis on latch and all of that can be helpful -- but sometimes are so rigid that they can actually discourage women from continuing. I think nothing beats a mom or sister just reassuring you that it'll be okay, and give some practical suggestions.

[SoybeanQueen]

No, they often don't. I knew people IRL who took the feeding part as optional (only still speak to the ones I'm related to). Ever read Ezzo? Gina Ford? If you think sleep training is hard, these people do food training.

Three of my children were severely neglected for the first few years of their lives. I'm well aware that some people don't feed their kids. But due to my involvement with foster care, I'm also aware that there are plenty of shitty parents who do manage to feed their kids, which was the point of my statement.