The wedding ties

[scoutsadie]

They probably intentionally bought the dresses 'wrong' so they could have the storyline of Cinder-Jana altering them instead of just going and buying modest dresses to begin with. I'm not worried about 'modesty', but I have tons of tea length dresses. They are not hard to find them. I like them because I can bend over if i drop something without everyone seeing my butt.

I suspect much of what we see on the show is made-for-TV drama... especially the awkward stuff*, like Jill going into her parents' bedroom to announce that she thinks she's "in love with someone [she's] never met in person." That seemed so artificial to me (much less JB then deciding on the fly to zoom with her off to Nepal).

*Though sadly, Smuggar's hella awkward proposal to Anna was very obviously authentic...

[Zasha]

I've got a couple of schools of thought on this one. The whole situation really bothered me. If you watch any of the talking heads, Jana never says she offered or wanted to do it for Jill. She says Jill asked her to, or she was the only one who had the time and other things that dance around the subject that she really didn't want to do it. It was a tremendous amount of work. If she was disappointed to get that dumped on her (and I can't imagine how she wouldn't have been) maybe it was because Jill acted EXACTLY as Michelle would in such a situation and Jana trusted Jill not to treat her that way.

Either way, Jill was thoughtless and unbearably selfish.

The thought I can't get out of my head, though, is that I can't help but wonder if the whole thing was meant to teach Jana a lesson of some sort. To send a message to her. Something about contentment maybe? To reassert to her her place in the family, according to JB and Michelle. I wonder if Jana said or did some very small thing and was being punished. Of course they wouldn't call it punishment. They'd call it life lessons and Jana would be told to consider it "helping" her.

[browncoatslytherin]

I think the girls get a thrill from trying on non-modest dresses, so that's why they do it.

as a teenager, whenever i got out shopping alone, i would totally do this. and not just necessarily immodest things, just things i knew my parents would never, ever let me wear. i even tried on prom-type dresses at one point, because i wasn't going to get to go to a prom and i still wanted to have that feeling of playing dress up and looking pretty.

[N The Prayer Closet]

This is what I don't get. I get that buying modest wedding dresses can be a challenge outside of Utah, but I don't see why is so difficult about finding some modest bridesmaid dresses. I have seen plenty of pretty lace dresses for sale in even mainstream stores that meet the shoulder/knee modesty requirements. It might have meant Jill might have had to put more effort into looking than just grabbing those ones and telling Cinderjana to alter them, but hey, you're the bride, that's meant to be your job. I find it hard to believe Jill was so busy she couldn't get the internet password, google 'modest bridesmaid dresses', looked at a few of the websites, narrowed her search for that mint colour she wanted and found something that didn't require enslaving Jana.

Hell, they could've flown to Utah for the dresses and made some better filler for the show. They flew to Virginia to buy Jill's dress and I'm still scratching my head over that one.

[Coco]

One more thing...on the episode where Jana was making the alterations to the dresses, did anyone else think the thread station maybe wasn't hers? I'm talking about the table that had the attachment where all the spools of thread were hanging.

I sew, and I have a wooden rack with spools of thread on it, but they're in all different colors. I also keep a sewing box around with all my needles, bobbins, threads. etc. Jana was working next to a gigantic wooden spool rack with threads on it that weren't even in the colors of the dresses she was making - they were red and white, I think (maybe black).

Anyone else find that weird? Like the rack was planted there and wasn't even hers.

i noticed that too! Makes sense that it might have been a prop. For sure it was enormous and in the way. Plus, that table. Any folding table is going to be a pain to sew on unless she had a super nice machine that didn't wobble.

[CorruptionInc.]

i noticed that too! Makes sense that it might have been a prop. For sure it was enormous and in the way. Plus, that table. Any folding table is going to be a pain to sew on unless she had a super nice machine that didn't wobble.

Back in the day (before TLC came along) Mullet had said she sewed matching outfits for her clan; but I doubt it was a fancy set up. She probably just whacked the machine out on the dining room table when she had the chance.

[Lillybee]

I think that Famy should write a country tune called "Jana and the Wedding Ties".

[Marianne]

My wife think have bought two dress for work, and she think the neckline is too big. I'm sewing a "modest" neckband. I really feel like Jana Duggar....

[FloraKitty35]

Tim Tebow would be perfect for her. He's educated, decent looking, has a work ethic, and could pound JB into the dirt.

and he should be independently wealthy not to need Jim Bob.

[nst]

I've got a couple of schools of thought on this one. The whole situation really bothered me. If you watch any of the talking heads, Jana never says she offered or wanted to do it for Jill. She says Jill asked her to, or she was the only one who had the time and other things that dance around the subject that she really didn't want to do it. It was a tremendous amount of work. If she was disappointed to get that dumped on her (and I can't imagine how she wouldn't have been) maybe it was because Jill acted EXACTLY as Michelle would in such a situation and Jana trusted Jill not to treat her that way.

Either way, Jill was thoughtless and unbearably selfish.

The thought I can't get out of my head, though, is that I can't help but wonder if the whole thing was meant to teach Jana a lesson of some sort. To send a message to her. Something about contentment maybe? To reassert to her her place in the family, according to JB and Michelle. I wonder if Jana said or did some very small thing and was being punished. Of course they wouldn't call it punishment. They'd call it life lessons and Jana would be told to consider it "helping" her.

this punishing thing really bugs me - the woman is 24 /25 years old - what is the reason still to teach her

seriously - I mean stand up for yourself - maybe it is so ingrained in her she can't - then she has to live with it - or to court just to leave

why the hell do you think Jessa is leaving so fast - who wants to "punished " until you are 30

[FreeHannie!]

Oh this is so bittersweet, I really hope after Jessa's wedding, Jana can keep getting away to DC

http://wtffundiefamilies.tumblr.com/pos ... iments-her

[browncoatslytherin]

she had never even made ties before?

okay, that's it, i'm done. that is the ultimate act of selfishness, just pawning off a task on someone who doesn't even have the experience for something needed in such a time crunch like the quickly approaching wedding. ridiculous! i swear, whoever gave that task to poor jana, i would give them such a tongue lashing for their thoughtless, selfish actions. :penguin-no:

[CorruptionInc.]

she had never even made ties before?

okay, that's it, i'm done. that is the ultimate act of selfishness, just pawning off a task on someone who doesn't even have the experience for something needed in such a time crunch like the quickly approaching wedding. ridiculous! i swear, whoever gave that task to poor jana, i would give them such a tongue lashing for their thoughtless, selfish actions. :penguin-no:

Will Jill Dillard please stand up?

[browncoatslytherin]

Will Jill Dillard please stand up?

was it jill directly, though? or did mummy and daddy possibly tell jilly bean that everything would be taken care of and then pawn off responsibilities like they pawn off babies onto buddies?

*edited for riffle*

[CorruptionInc.]

was it jill directly, though? or did mummy and daddy possibly tell jilly bean that everything would be taken care of and then pawn off responsibilities like they pawn of babies onto buddies?

This could be entirely possible!It is the Duggars after all...

Poor Jana.

[Four is Enough]

Ties are really easy to make. There are tie patterns available. Straight lines, some cutting, folding, pressing, and stitching. She did a great job on the ties. But the alterations to those horrible dresses, from what I saw, were beyond the ability of even a truly talented seamstress to effect. I saw a photo from the wedding of the bridesmaids... those seams were lumpy and uneven, the hems were uneven, and clearly everything was pieced together haphazardly... NOBODY could have done much better, and poor Jana probably knew from the outset that these knit monstrosities were going to look awful. I'd have cried, had I been asked, flounced from the room and risked a trip to JTTH to avoid trying to make those dresses look better.

I'm certain that Jana is a pretty competent seamstress. I believe she, Jill, and Jessa made all the bridesmaids' outfits for Anna's wedding. Those weren't the simplest designed dresses, as I recall, and they didn't scream "homemade" as the ones Jill picked did.

I really feel sorry for Jana. I think she'll be at the TTH as long as the parents feel they need someone to raise, feed, clothe, and wrangle the younger kids. And I feel her siblings will treat her in much the same way.

[SassyPants]

I do not understand why the other sisters, INCLUDING JILL + Michelle were not helping with the alterations and ties? Doesn't Michelle always say that many hands make light work?

I am sorry, those girls might be nice but they, other than Jana and Jill pre-Derick, are just as lazy and uninspired as your average young teen, despite being in their early 20s.

I think they are basically over-it-all, which leaves all the work to Jana.

[bluebird]

I would be happy to donate $ for her escape. Jana does not have the fortitude to say NO or she does not think she has the right to refuse to comply with the inappropriate requests from her family. She should have been allowed to enjoy the pre-wedding excitement/fun along with her other sisters instead of having to work so hard. What dips for not buying ties and dresses that did not need to be re-built.

[RabbitKM]

On the show, when they showed the dress close up for about a milisecond, I noticed how AWFUL the sleeves were. You could totally see the seam to where she had to add more fabric to the original strap. Not to mention how uneven the extra hems were. Ugh. Just bad. I don't blame Jana, because it must have been a hard task. Just buy a freaking modest dress! I hope Jessa is smarter.

[socalrules]

I agree that Jana really isn't capable of saying no. If you are a people pleaser like I used to be, and Jana seems to be, you will say yes even though you hate the idea of doing so. A part of you feels important because they "need" you and a part of you just wants to make others happy regardless of how it makes you feel. When you are in it, you don't realize how much of your life was wasted on someone else's hopes, wants, dreams, etc. It wasn't until late 20s that I realized I wasn't being selfish by saying no. For Jana, she isn't even allowed to be self-aware that it is ok to say no. She was raised with JOY and, the way the Duggars teach it, she will never make it to the Y. I feel so bad for her because she really had nothing of her own. She was only studying to be a doula because Jill needed an accountability buddy. It is amazing how little we know about Jana and what she wants out of like or is interested in. Is she allowed to even have interests?

What I find facinating is that Jill had no time to help sew her the dresses and ties. She didn't have a job, was on a break from midwifing (not sure that's a word) and the wedding itself seemed simple so I don't understand how she spent her time. Derrick was at work all day, so there is no reason she couldn't help Jana. Or why couldn't each of the older girls that could sew at least do their own dress?

[FreeHannie!]

I agree that Jana really isn't capable of saying no. If you are a people pleaser like I used to be, and Jana seems to be, you will say yes even though you hate the idea of doing so. A part of you feels important because they "need" you and a part of you just wants to make others happy regardless of how it makes you feel. When you are in it, you don't realize how much of your life was wasted on someone else's hopes, wants, dreams, etc. It wasn't until late 20s that I realized I wasn't being selfish by saying no. For Jana, she isn't even allowed to be self-aware that it is ok to say no. She was raised with JOY and, the way the Duggars teach it, she will never make it to the Y. I feel so bad for her because she really had nothing of her own.

It doesn't help that she has to 'keep sweet' all the time. There are so many times she looked like she just wanted to say no, but that's not 'keeping sweet'.

Poor thing. If she ever makes it free, I'll gladly donate money if she needs it. I'm no leg humper, but gosh, I'll buy something good off the 'Jana's Freedom registry' for her AND a nice jewellery box.

[grandmadugger]

I know people keep saying ties are easy but hand stitching is an art form. I can sew almost anything on a sewing machine. If it requires hand stitching and look good it's going to take me months. Plus, the color that Jill wanted is an everyday color. It's just so unfair to Jana to have to attempt to alter those dresses, shitty fabric is impossible to alter, and then have to make ties on top it. The fact that she's never made one just pisses me off more.

[bluehydrangea]

yeah, it was really depressing when Anna said, "so like, has this been your life for the last two months...?" poor Jana. I think the producers were trying to make a point.

[CorruptionInc.]

yeah, it was really depressing when Anna said, "so like, has this been your life for the last two months...?" poor Jana. I think the producers were trying to make a point.

I think Anna would've also been upset with the girls for not helping Jana. When Anna said she would've helped if she lived closer, I bet she would have too.

Some fabrics are just crap to sew, even for the most advanced seamstress (i.e. my friend); there are just some fabrics that don't work! Also would've she known to have the right needles, tension, thread etc?

[grandmadugger]

I think Anna would've also been upset with the girls for not helping Jana. When Anna said she would've helped if she lived closer, I bet she would have too.

Some fabrics are just crap to sew, even for the most advanced seamstress (i.e. my friend); there are just some fabrics that don't work! Also would've she known to have the right needles, tension, thread etc?

I wondered if she knew that knits should be sewn with a double or twin needle. She may not have known to even look on Pinterest for a tutorial on how to do that.