Whitney Bates - Pregnancy Confirmed - Merge

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I've said this before but...I would take being born into or marrying into the Bates family over the Duggars any day. Yes, their ideals are practically identical but they at least seem to actually have real fun AND enjoy spending time together. Their smiles arent plastered on like the Duggars'. I also don't think Kelly relies nearly as much on the older girls for the child-rearing as J'Chelle. The Bates kids just look overall happier (and the younger ones better behaved) than the Duggar kids. They may not have all the materialistic luxuries but they also don't have to deal with the constant camera presence, boring travel to appearances, and lack of privacy so it's a trade-off that would be more than worth it to me.

I think it really has to do with the show. The only time we see the Duggars is when they're being fillmed or they're being paraded around like a freak show. I really don't think the majority of those kids actually likes being the center of attention. And, those who do like being the center of attention are going to do anything to get said attention, so they're going to misbehave.

The Bates show up very uncommonly on 19kac and had less than a season of episodes. The kids have grown up largely out of the limelight and most of our views of them are normal moments not being highlighted by a TV production team. So, they're more likely to look like they're having fun and love to be together, and they're also less likely to act up to seek attention/recognition.

[Minijumb]

I'm sure that she's genuinely heartbroken and grieving too for Erin. I know I'd be over the moon if my SIL and I were going to have babies that close together!

Absolutely. My sister and I had our boys 4 days apart. I would have been devastated both for her, and for all our dreams of our little ones growing up together had she lost her pregnancy. I imagine this pregnancy will be a bit bittersweet for Whitney and Zac.

[silverspoons]

Is Erin still moving to OK next month after graduating and the wedding? Maybe the move will help her? I have a feeling she will find a reason to stay in TN. I feel bad if Chad ends up working at the scrap metal yard for years to keep Erin in TN.

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

I've said this before but...I would take being born into or marrying into the Bates family over the Duggars any day. Yes, their ideals are practically identical but they at least seem to actually have real fun AND enjoy spending time together. Their smiles arent plastered on like the Duggars'. I also don't think Kelly relies nearly as much on the older girls for the child-rearing as J'Chelle. The Bates kids just look overall happier (and the younger ones better behaved) than the Duggar kids. They may not have all the materialistic luxuries but they also don't have to deal with the constant camera presence, boring travel to appearances, and lack of privacy so it's a trade-off that would be more than worth it to me.

I have to say, I completely agree with you. I don't think the Duggars are truly awful people, but I don't think I'd like them all that much. And I don't know if I'm alone in this, but I get the feeling I'd like Jim Bob better than Michelle. The Bates family seem like people you'd actually enjoy being around them while you're with them.

Edited bc alone and blonde are not the same word ;-)

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Wow that must be incredibly hard for Erin and her husband.

Yes, but if they are sincere in their beliefs they will be happy for them, and no one is anything but sad on Erin's behalf. In such a huge family this is likely only the first of many times that happy/sad pregnancies will be side-by-side.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Congratulations to Whitney :)

Big hugs to Erin, that's got to be hard :(

[Georgiana]

People keeps saying Erin looks sad in these pics and that this day must have been hard for her. However, and someone correct me if my math is off here, if Erin and Chad found out they lost the baby at 9 weeks, and they were due in October, wouldn't she have miscarried/found out AFTER "I Love You Day"? Whatever may have come after, (unless I haven't had enough coffee yet to count correctly) I think she was still pregnant for this photoshoot.

I hope the family gives Erin the ability to do whatever she is comfortable with. One of the problems with a large, close knit family is that there is a lot of pressure to do family things. Erin may not always be able to be around the excitement and progression of Whit's pregnancy, and I hope they give her space if that's what she needs.

However, it may be the exact opposite. Some women handle their grief by throwing themselves into a close friend/family member's pregnancy. It may be that Erin wants to be around Whit more because preparing for Whit's baby helps her to handle the loss of her own.

The thing about Erin, is that unlike Kelly, Whit and Chad, we don't get her direct perspective. So we wont really know whether she does something out of pressure or because it truly helps her heal.

[bal maiden]

People keeps saying Erin looks sad in these pics and that this day must have been hard for her. However, and someone correct me if my math is off here, if Erin and Chad found out they lost the baby at 9 weeks, and they were due in October, wouldn't she have miscarried/found out AFTER "I Love You Day"? Whatever may have come after, (unless I haven't had enough coffee yet to count correctly) I think she was still pregnant for this photoshoot.

Yes, if she was due in October they would have conceived in January, so would have been 6-7 weeks max on Valentine's day. Although that doesn't mean that the pregnancy wasn't already having issues that she may have been aware of at that point.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I don't think Erin looks sad or Whitney looks tired. They look perfectly normal to me.

[Guest]

I feel bad for Erin, but also for Whitney. It would be hard being excited about your first child, but also sad for your sister-in-law. Instead of a whole post, she got a couple sentences in a post about something else, because it would seem insensitive to dedicate a whole post to her happiness after a post about Erin's miscarriage. I'm sure it's hard for Gil, Kelly, and the family too to be excited about Whitney's baby and grieve for Erin's at the same time. This is just such an unfortunate situation all around.

[Ralar]

Is Erin still moving to OK next month after graduating and the wedding? Maybe the move will help her? I have a feeling she will find a reason to stay in TN. I feel bad if Chad ends up working at the scrap metal yard for years to keep Erin in TN.

They put way to much time and effort into decorating that house if they had planned to live in it for only six months. I think they're staying put for now.

[snuggles911]

Wow that must be incredibly hard for Erin and her husband.

Yes. As someone who suffered a miscarriage I'm sure it is. But, given her young age and fertility she could be pregnant again fairly soon. My doctor asked me to wait until I had had one menstrual cycle before trying again. I ended up getting pregnant fairly quickly and having the baby less than a year after I miscarried.

My sister was pregnant at the time of my miscarriage. Maybe I'm an odd duck, but I found the thought of having a new niece/nephew to cuddle comforting during my loss. Of course it might have been different if I had lost our baby after years of struggling with infertility or if I had been raised to believe that having babies was my main destiny in life.

[Snarknado]

It sounds, from the blog, they knew from the first dr. appointment that there may not be a baby. So I think it's possible they already knew something could be wrong.

[sleepygirl1]

Yes. As someone who suffered a miscarriage I'm sure it is. But, given her young age and fertility she could be pregnant again fairly soon. My doctor asked me to wait until I had had one menstrual cycle before trying again. I ended up getting pregnant fairly quickly and having the baby less than a year after I miscarried.

My sister was pregnant at the time of my miscarriage. Maybe I'm an odd duck, but I found the thought of having a new niece/nephew to cuddle comforting during my loss. Of course it might have been different if I had lost our baby after years of struggling with infertility or if I had been raised to believe that having babies was my main destiny in life.

Yeah my mom got pregnant really fast to after her first miscarriage. The day that baby was due, my mom was finding out my brother was going to be a boy.

[LaSham89]

Just saw that Kelly confirmed that Zach and Whitney are expecting, she sneaked it into the end of the "I love you day" post. She also said that the two couples due dates were only a week apart :cry:. Feel sorry for chad and Erin but congratulations to Zach band Whitney! :D

[Jana814]

I just saw that Kelly updated her blog and confirmed Whit is expecting. Apparently Erin and Whit's due dates were a week apart. I feel badly for Erin's loss and I feel for Whit too. She is probably overjoyed about the baby, yet most likely feels that she has to restrain her joy around Erin.

Have to agree w/ u. Can someone tell me how many kids r in Whitney's family.

[freethemall]

Poor Erin, she looks really sad and miserable. I hope she / they can heel over time.

Just a curious question: After my miscarriage I tried to spend as less time as possible with small kids and / or pregnant women. For me this "love-you-day" would have been a nightmare. Do you think Erin wanted to do this?

I wonder if her looking sad is because as someone else said, they knew from the first doctor's appointment this may not be a viable pregnancy. It's interesting because she really looks miserable in a few of those pictures, doesn't have that cheery glow we're used to from her.

[singsingsing]

She's looked tired and deflated since her honeymoon, before she got pregnant.

[tkr322]

Oh I totally agree. The Bates seem to have way more fun than the Duggars. Also Gil and Kelly seem very genuine unlike the Duggars. I feel like the Bates kids probably get loved on by mom and dad all day.

And coming from someone who has miscarried, I would find it very difficult to be around Whitney if I were Erin. That is, until/if she becomes pregnant again. It would be a constant reminder of what you could/should have had. Anyone who had a baby due around my due dates, I'm still jealous of and still have some resentment about it.

[Mellanya]

I feel sorry for both couples (and happy for Zach and Whit). I think it won't just be a tough pregnancy for Whit, it will also be difficult at birth/after birth. It would break my heart to know that my SIL who's coming to see the baby for the first time will probably grief for her lost child, thinking that this would be what her baby would look like now and all that.... very, very difficult time for Erin and Whit. I'm sure Chad will be a great support to her during that time. He looks like that kind of man.

[lilith]

I feel sorry for both couples (and happy for Zach and Whit). I think it won't just be a tough pregnancy for Whit, it will also be difficult at birth/after birth. It would break my heart to know that my SIL who's coming to see the baby for the first time will probably grief for her lost child, thinking that this would be what her baby would look like now and all that.... very, very difficult time for Erin and Whit. I'm sure Chad will be a great support to her during that time. He looks like that kind of man.

Erin will almost certainly be pregnant again by the time Whitney delivers, which should soften the blow a bit, as well as distracting her and giving her something happy to focus on,

[Mellanya]

Erin will almost certainly be pregnant again by the time Whitney delivers, which should soften the blow a bit, as well as distracting her and giving her something happy to focus on,

Yes you're probably right - but don't doctors recommend a 6 month waiting period after a miscarriage (esp. with a D&C)?

[lilith]

Yes you're probably right - but don't doctors recommend a 6 month waiting period after a miscarriage (esp. with a D&C)?

It varies - I was told to wait for one normal menstrual cycle, I've also heard 6 weeks and 12 weeks recommended. But it's not going to matter to Erin and Chad - if they are having sex they will probably conceive - they have committed to not using contraceptives. And I don't see them waiting six months to have sex - that will be half their first year of marriage! Chad hasn't waited nearly thirty years to have sex only to endure six months of abstinence whilst sleeping next to his beautiful bride.

[Peas n carrots]

Although I would think it would be beneficial to wait a year or so before getting pregnant, congrats to Whitney and Zach as they seem super happy!

Sending good vibes towards Erin...it's got to be rough for her.

On another note...I know there is usually a lot of comments about how difficult it must be for young fundies to go from 0 to 60 after getting married, but considering how quickly many of them get pregnant it doesn't really seem to be the case! Pent up hormones I suppose...

[FJismyheadship]

Someone told me it really isn't zero to sixty. You come up with all sorts of excuses. Like Ben and Jessa can walk side by side so they could "accidentally" brush hands. Or maybe when side hugging, Ben realizes Jessas boob is on him. Little things like that could ramp up the tension, so by the time they are married, they are ready. Josh and Anna used hand sex.