Catholics belief in birth control is evil

[fundiefun]

Just wanted to say hello I used to be on the old fj but decided to change my username up so it's good to be back. Anyways I am a member as well as a few other FJians that I recall on Catholic Answers forums and those people's opinions about how evil birth control even in situations such as people starving to death in Africa is just scary. I can't be the only practicing Catholic who uses birth control and doesn't feel any religious regret.

[brashchick]

I grew up with VERY conservative tradtional Catholic parents, and the fact that many of their friends and our family members disregarded that teaching was well known. My parents would only use natural family planning. I have known many practicing Catholics who followed their conscience when it came to contraception. So, you are not alone at all.

[Rosa]

I have a story about that, that i have always thought was hilarious. A coworker of mine told me this story about why she stopped going to church.

She was supporting her whole family because the family business had failed and her husband had fallen into a crippling depression. They knew they couldn't take care of more babies, so she took birth control pills. And being from a very devout (and large) Catholic family, she went and confessed every week to using birth control and got forgiven and felt better. Finally, the priest took pity on her and said to her, you know, God wants you to take care of the family you have and if you don't feel that you can take on any more right now, I'm sure he understands.

And she got up and left the church and never went back, because what good was it believing in the church and following all the rules if even the priests didn't believe in it?

[FakePigtails]

I saw the thread you're talking about and I love how the conversation became about whether rapists would wear condoms (thank God someone pointed out that rape can happen in marriages) rather than, you know, people trapped in abusive relationships or in danger as a family.

That forum makes me so sad, but I don't have it in me to try to make waves. Between the incredibly strict interpretations of rules and the wifely submission stuff that shows up every now and then . . . *sigh* Catholicism could maybe, maybe end on my radar for a possible religion to go to but that board makes me run away screaming!

[Hane]

I was a devout Catholic until I was 55, and here's my birth control story:

As an Italian Catholic Virgin in the '60s, I pretty much bought the party line, because I knew that the only time I'd have sex would be after I was married, and I knew that any future Mr. Hane and I would be simply ecstatic over any marital knocking-uppage that might occur, at whatever time.

Then I got engaged in college, and we set the date for the end of my junior year.

As a way of helping out the starving engaged students, before the wedding, Mom took me for a 30,000 mile checkup: trip to the dentist, new glasses--and my first trip to the gyno (I was 20 and Untouched By Human Hands). So, as I'm lying there in the stirrups thinking "Holy freaking crap, this HURTS!" the gyno asked me, "So--do you want birth control pills?" "Well, uh--yeah, I guess so," I responded, realizing that I really, really wanted to graduate from college without getting pregnant first. And Mom, funder of said education, was totally cool with it--in fact, I think she expected it. Oddly enough, the future Mr. Hane and I had never discussed the matter, but he turned out to be cool with it, too.

Now, Mom had told me she and Dad had never used birth control, and I had no reason to doubt her. She had had three miscarriages before I was born, was considering adoption when I was four because she wasn't getting pregnant (then she suddenly got pregnant with Middle Sister), and Baby Sister was a total change-of-life surprise when she was 40.

After I got married, though, when I was discussing birth control with my dad, he told me that, sure, they HAD used condoms--and Mom ended up feeling totally guilty when she had her first miscarriage not long after they got married. It was an amazing "Shhhhh--don't let your mother know I told you" moment.

[Hane]

I have a story about that, that i have always thought was hilarious. A coworker of mine told me this story about why she stopped going to church.

She was supporting her whole family because the family business had failed and her husband had fallen into a crippling depression. They knew they couldn't take care of more babies, so she took birth control pills. And being from a very devout (and large) Catholic family, she went and confessed every week to using birth control and got forgiven and felt better. Finally, the priest took pity on her and said to her, you know, God wants you to take care of the family you have and if you don't feel that you can take on any more right now, I'm sure he understands.

And she got up and left the church and never went back, because what good was it believing in the church and following all the rules if even the priests didn't believe in it?

The opposite happened to my grandfather during the Depression. They had lost everything, and he asked his priest why the Church was opposed to contraception at a time when people literally could not afford any new mouths to feed--and the priest pulled out the old "God Will Provide." This ticked Grandpa off so much that he rarely went to church thereafter. (My uncle was born in 1932. My mother told me she remembered Grandpa sitting at the kitchen table in tears.)

[ADoyle90815]

Outside of my very Catholic grandparents, most people in my dad's side of the family have used birth control, as I have one sibling, a cousin of mine is an only child, and I have 2 other cousins who are brothers.

[Lillybee]

Ex-Catholic here. The last time I went willingly to Mass was about the time Pope Paul XI's encyclical Humanae Vitae came out. What made me leave the church is that our pastor addressed the problem of over population in Latin America by telling us not to worry Jesus will come back and repeat the loaves and fishes miracle.

[FakePigtails]

The opposite happened to my grandfather during the Depression. They had lost everything, and he asked his priest why the Church was opposed to contraception at a time when people literally could not afford any new mouths to feed--and the priest pulled out the old "God Will Provide." This ticked Grandpa off so much that he rarely went to church thereafter. (My uncle was born in 1932. My mother told me she remembered Grandpa sitting at the kitchen table in tears.)

What they always say over there is that there's never a good time to have a kid :roll: . Apparently it's lost on many that while that may be true for most, there are certainly times where a child isn't quite the best blessing to be had at the time.

Soooo frustrating!

[fundiefun]

I went through the RCIA program last year in college during a time of exploring religious beliefs. I have been to almost every mainstream denomination to worship for months at a time. I was originally baptized lutheran but my family was non practicing. I kind of snoozed off in RCIA class and now a year out I'm having a wtf did I get myself into moment with some of their crazy beliefs regarding birth control, abortion, etc.

[Hope]

My family is all Catholic and some used birth control and others did/do not. NFP is allowed, which if you do it right, is pretty effectve (doing it right is the hard part.) There are plenty of priests in the US who will say it's okay, but artificial birth control is definitely not considered ok by Roman Catholicism.

[clibbyjo]

I grew up Catholic ,most of my friends were Catholic growing up and every one of them use birth control of some type and have a MAX of 3 kids.I also know 2 who have had abortions and one 14 year old who gave the baby up for adoption. Catholics in the US now a days mostly use birth contro I would thinkl.

[Cassandra]

My grandfather was Catholic, and my grandmother a protestant, though she technically converted during their marriage. The way they worked it out was that my grandmother was in control of the birth control, so she used it and he didn't worry about it : )

[Boogalou]

You're in good company. According to this article98% of sexually active Catholic women use birth control banned by the Vatican.

[brigita]

I've been attending Catholic schools all my life (really, I even go to a Catholic university... you think I'd avoid such an institution after all these years!) and let me say that most of my "Catholic" friends use birth control. I think the Church's views on BC are bullcrap! I attended mass every week for the first eighteen years of my life but I am totally turned off by what the Church teaches and I no longer go, not even for Easter. The views on birth control are just a very small portion of the problems I have with the Roman Catholic Church. Sorry for getting off on that tangent.

[bea]

The (several times removed) pope convened a group to advise him on the birth control issue - laity and clergy working together. He promised to adhere to their recommendation.

They advised that the Church permit the use of the Birth Control Pill.

The pope ignored their report and published Humanae Vitae, which forbids all "artificial" contraception.

It's all documented fact, put together very well in a book I read recently authored by a Catholic journalist working with one of the members of the council: Turning Point: The Inside Story of the Papal Birth Control Commission. Well worth reading, especially if you're Catholic.

[Hane]

The (several times removed) pope convened a group to advise him on the birth control issue - laity and clergy working together. He promised to adhere to their recommendation.

They advised that the Church permit the use of the Birth Control Pill.

The pope ignored their report and published Humanae Vitae, which forbids all "artificial" contraception.

It's all documented fact, put together very well in a book I read recently authored by a Catholic journalist working with one of the members of the council: Turning Point: The Inside Story of the Papal Birth Control Commission. Well worth reading, especially if you're Catholic.

It was Paul VI. I read a book about this that I bought while I was on retreat--at the monastery's book store! (I also bought "How You Can Dissent and Still Be a Faithful Catholic.")

I've also read that the late John Paul I, who died after a month-long papacy, was leaning in favor of the Pill. The story went that, as an archbishop, he was troubled when he saw large families struggling to feed their children. I'm no conspiracy theorist, but I'm still convinced someone bumped him off.

More BC stories: I attended a Cana Conference (Catholic pre-marital seminar) before each of my marriages. At the first one, a priest said, "Well, you can't just go deciding for yourself when you're going to have children." (I thought, "Wanna bet?")

At the second one, a young couple got up to endorse the efficacy of NFP. They had one child, and she was hugely pregnant with their second. And they were married all of three years. Hell, I know people trying to get pregnant who don't pop out two kids in three years!

[fundiefun]

What's real rich is the Catholic Church group on campus that I was apart of brought in a speaker to do a presentation on NFP and why birth control is harmful as a campus event open to those who wanted to attend. Thankfully only a few others showed up besides the church regulars because promoting NFP to sexually active college students which isn't even up there with the pill is negligence if you ask me because what college student really has the time to use NFP correctly on top of exam and classes its like get real.

[Deleted10]

I'm a practicing Catholic (I officially joined in 2008, I was raised Lutheran but considered myself a Catholic since around 11/12) but I definitely think the church is a bit backward in regards to women. And that's about all I'll say about THAT.

[alphaeta08]

I LOVE lurking on Catholic Answers! Actually, Catholic Answers is what convinced me to leave Catholicism for good (I've seriously thought about signing up there and starting a thank-you thread, just to see how it would go down).

My parents have admitted to using birth control (I have no idea what kind, but I'm kind of curious...), and I'm pretty sure everyone in my parents' generation of my family has used it, except the one Krazy Katholic family who are as close to Catholic fundie as you can get. My dad's parents obviously didn't use birth control, but my mom's parents are iffy. They had four children, literally every 13 months, by the time my grandma was 25, and then nothing. So I'm guessing something was up, in which case I commend them.

I'm very much a "if you're going to do a religion, do it 100%," so I'm out!

[Rosa]

The only Catholic dudes I've ever known who claimed they didn't use birth control because it was a sin, were all trying to get into my pants without using a condom, so I'm 100% sure following all the rules wasn't what they were really going for. Every Catholic couple I've known well enough to talk about it in real life (so not including the FJians), used either condoms or the pill (or both!) until they were ready to have kids, then vasectomy when they were done.

I guess I assume vasectomies are against the rules, but maybe that's not true? I mean, if God wants you to have a baby, he could just heal you right up...

[Deleted10]

I LOVE lurking on Catholic Answers! Actually, Catholic Answers is what convinced me to leave Catholicism for good (I've seriously thought about signing up there and starting a thank-you thread, just to see how it would go down).

I lurk on there a lot and post occasionally. It does get pretty crazy sometimes. :o

[Sanveann]

To be fair, the RCC does support Natural Family Planning... Catholic couples are not expected to churn out as many kids as humanly possible, a la QF families.

Btw, I'm fairly devout (and non-birth-control-using) Catholic, and even I think the Catholic Answers forums are generally pretty nutty. It's full of a lot of terribly legalistic people.

[fundiefun]

To be fair, the RCC does support Natural Family Planning... Catholic couples are not expected to churn out as many kids as humanly possible, a la QF families.

Btw, I'm fairly devout (and non-birth-control-using) Catholic, and even I think the Catholic Answers forums are generally pretty nutty. It's full of a lot of terribly legalistic people.

Catholic answers is a pretty nutty place since all of the Catholics I have meet were generally laid back people, but that forum brings out a side of Catholicism I didn't know exsisted steeped with legalism about things that I didn't think even matter in marriage such as "oral sex is not allowed in sexual intercourse between a husband and wife". I never thought you needed anyone's opinion about what you and your spouse chose to do in bed.

[tehgoobster]

Btw, I'm fairly devout (and non-birth-control-using) Catholic, and even I think the Catholic Answers forums are generally pretty nutty. It's full of a lot of terribly legalistic people.

I agree. I've lurked there before as well, and while there are some reasonable people there (even those who fall within the range of orthodox Catholicism), there are many really legalistic, traditionalist types.