Sparkling Adventures in Child Neglect: Vive La France

[Trudestar]

I'm also wondering if friends or family have paid for this trip. Perhaps David's family helped organise and pay for it to give Lauren a break, .

lmao A break from fucking what? Swanning around the countryside taking photos? Spending a month in Bali? Buying designer clothes for herself? Exchanging energy with her loving rainbow family? Avoiding giving her children a stable home? Buying expensive shit? Having nice people feed and bathe her kids for her because she couldn't be bothered?

Spending hours in a salon getting her dreads attended to? Driving, surfing, sightseeing? Dreaming up new ways to scam people out of money and hospitality? Thinking up new heights of self righteousness? Changing the oil in her donated bus? Buying rats?? FFS.

Yeah, yeah, I understand she's had to deal with a verrrry traumatic event in losing Elijah, and I do feel for the whole family.

But send Lauren overseas to give her a break? Give ME a fucken break.lol

[August]

Sure, or maybe she just wants a holiday and doesn't see anything wrong in going overseas whilst her (lets be frank here) unsupervised children are left behind now motherless AND fatherless. This ISN'T a normal family situation where ordinarily I wouldn't bat an eyelid if a mom of 4 went away for a mini break, this is an extraordinary decision from a woman who is all attachment parenting guru....you know, when it suits her.

She's never been into attachment parenting. She was babywise until shortly before she got pg with Elijah, then switched to free range radical unschooling with them calling her Lauren. Yes, she nursed Elijah on demand and coslept and had a sling because the people around her did, but there's been no indication that she ever bought into the principles of AP or applied them with the older children. Radical unschoolers can be AP, but I think Lauren just uses it as a handy way to continue to keep the kids at arm's length. She's not their mother, she's Lauren, a fellow traveller.

[August]

lmao A break from fucking what? Swanning around the countryside taking photos? Spending a month in Bali? Buying designer clothes for herself? Exchanging energy with her loving rainbow family? Avoiding giving her children a stable home? Buying expensive shit? Having nice people feed and bathe her kids for her because she couldn't be bothered?

Spending hours in a salon getting her dreads attended to? Driving, surfing, sightseeing? Dreaming up new ways to scam people out of money and hospitality? Thinking up new heights of self righteousness? Changing the oil in her donated bus? Buying rats?? FFS.

Yeah, yeah, I understand she's had to deal with a verrrry traumatic event in losing Elijah, and I do feel for the whole family.

But send Lauren overseas to give her a break? Give ME a fucken break.lol

A break from 24/7 demands of young children. She doesn't even get to stretch out in bed, FFS. But a sane person would find a way to have space while still being there for her kids in such a traumatic time, instead of setting herself up to burn out.

[church_of_dog]

I just had a somewhat disturbing thought -- with the girls apparently left largely to their own devices, with iPads, and knowing how Mum Lauren is into blogging, instagramming, etc -- what are the chances that they decide to google her, by name or by blog name etc, to see what she's doing without them? How would it be for them to find the instagram photos (do they know where she's gone and who she's with?) or FJ or any of the other places where people might be expressing concern over this situation?

When they are teenagers I might think it would be good for them to get another perspective on their lives, from folks who are truly concerned for them, to make sure they know they can get help, but at this point I can only think it would be disturbing.

Note: I'm not suggesting that FJ shouldn't be discussing her, rather that they shouldn't have wholly unlimited access to the internet (which is a whole other concern, this being the least of it).

Other thoughts on this?

[happy atheist]

They are too young to have unfettered access to the internet. That being said, I don't know that any of them read well enough for them to be disturbed by anything written. Pictures and videos, of course, are another matter entirely.

[church_of_dog]

They are too young to have unfettered access to the internet. That being said, I don't know that any of them read well enough for them to be disturbed by anything written. Pictures and videos, of course, are another matter entirely.

Exactly -- "oh look, mum's visiting Uncle James" -- fine as long as the photos are innocuous and don't contrast too badly with whatever they were told about where she's gone.

[chaotic life]

Annasopinion, it's very clear you have a very set opinion if missionaries, perhaps well earned from your own life experiences but not valid to all missionaries nor MKs just the same. My problem with your theory of Lauren's parents is that her sisters are normal, sane, healthy and thriving individuals. Thus Lauren's issues are about Lauren and less her entire family unit.

[August]

I doubt the internet is censored at all even when she's there. I hope the girls do find this thread and see that so many people feel love and concern for them, and that they deserve far better than their mother is giving them.

[Koala]

She's not their mother, she's Lauren, a fellow traveller.

I remember her once saying she knew they weren't "walking in righteousness" when they called her "mum". :angry-cussingblack:

[So Many Lies]

^yeah that was a low point for sure. And the eldest child must have been 5 at the most. It was something like "if they call me "lauren" they are approaching me in maturity and righteousness..."

I think that is seriously wtf.

Strange also that at one point David insisted all other children call him Mr Fisher and Lauren, Mrs Fisher as a calling card of respect. I don't know why it strikes me as odd. I guess other than for a teacher I wouldn't think many kids would be brought up to do that these days.

[Blahblah]

A break from 24/7 demands of young children. She doesn't even get to stretch out in bed, FFS. But a sane person would find a way to have space while still being there for her kids in such a traumatic time, instead of setting herself up to burn out.

Demands of young children? Sadly I think Lauren's girls learned long ago that there is no point demanding anything from Lauren. Lauren's skill is in doing what suits Lauren and filtering or manipulating everything else until it is sparkly enough.

If Lauren needs a break from her self-imposed lifestyle there are options other than advertising on FB for someone to be "present". Her parents, sisters, David's family just for starters. And why France and Iceland? Go somewhere in Aus so if the girls have a crisis you are at least in the same country ffs.

[bubblekitty]

A break from 24/7 demands of young children. She doesn't even get to stretch out in bed, FFS. But a sane person would find a way to have space while still being there for her kids in such a traumatic time, instead of setting herself up to burn out.

When I read about lauren's life with those kids in a tiny bus I feel exhausted. She doesn't post about the days it's raining and they are either trapped in that bus or spending all the time in a museum. I love museums but if I had to spend my day wandering around in some public place with little kids because I had no where comfortable to keep four children and it was pouring out it would wear me down pretty quick. Zero privacy in the bus, zero privacy in other people's homes, zero privacy in all these public places she hangs out in. And then you get one kid sick and everyone is trapped in the bus, probably for days at a stretch especially if the weather is poor, kids are cranky and bored with wherever they are parked.

She only posts the sparkles or very minor crankiness the children exhibit so she can tell a story about how they overcame it. But I bet she is totally burned out!!

I'm typing this in one room and my kids are two rooms away from me watching a dvd and I have more privacy and mental space than lauren could even imagine from what her life seems to be like. If you ever thought you were going insane on really long car trip with kids imagine that is your whole life. Yes a normal person setting out on such a venture would plan for it or when they realized how exhausting it was they would figure out a way to pace themselves or have breaks. Have the kids stay one week every couple months with a relative, plan some time to yourself. But that's not sparkly so I think what we are seeing is no different than her taking off in NZ, it's a reaction.

She can't own negative emotions so she's not going to be able to own being burned out on what is supposed to be all sparkles. The other people she sees periodically who are nomadic have one kid or they have partners.

[August]

ITA bubblekitty. Stress and mental illness aren't anyone's fault, but I have little patience for people who put themselves in really bad situations by choice and then have a meltdown.

Has anyone on facebook asked her why she's going?

I remember her once saying she knew they weren't "walking in righteousness" when they called her "mum". :angry-cussingblack:

And how calling her mum was a sign of her opressing them with authority. Which, just, yes, a parent is a source of authority, but also of unconditional love, and young children crave boundaries and certainty and someone else to be in charge of the scary stuff. My kids might enjoy ordering in restaurants and choosing their own snacks and dressing themselves, but they don't want to and shouldn't have to worry about how the food gets into the pantry or the clothes in the drawers or what the prices on the menu really mean. I mean, they come to the supermarket and help choose ripe produce and stuff, but they don't monitor the milk and cereal stocks, or decide which restaurant we can afford. They're children, they have enough to worry about.

[tuckerphez]

I just had a somewhat disturbing thought -- with the girls apparently left largely to their own devices, with iPads, and knowing how Mum Lauren is into blogging, instagramming, etc -- what are the chances that they decide to google her, by name or by blog name etc, to see what she's doing without them? How would it be for them to find the instagram photos (do they know where she's gone and who she's with?) or FJ or any of the other places where people might be expressing concern over this situation?

When they are teenagers I might think it would be good for them to get another perspective on their lives, from folks who are truly concerned for them, to make sure they know they can get help, but at this point I can only think it would be disturbing.

Note: I'm not suggesting that FJ shouldn't be discussing her, rather that they shouldn't have wholly unlimited access to the internet (which is a whole other concern, this being the least of it).

Other thoughts on this?

I brought this up on an earlier thread... at some point (not for a while, but soon enough) those girls are going to google themselves and their parents - what are they going to find? Mom calling their brother's death "neutral"? How their mom didn't call 911 when one of them got lost in the bush with a strange man? Basically anytime Lauren neglected and ignored them?

I googled the names of the girls once - for at least three of them, a link on the first page led to the blog. What happens if they're adults trying to get a job and some potential employer sees the blog?

The internet is forever, and that blog is just one more bit of harm Lauren has inflicted on her children.

[chaotic life]

Lauren owns her own home outright. If the close quarters is too much for her, then the solution is not to take off and leave her kids with someone she doesn't know and found online. The solution is to go back home and give those kids stability in their lives again. Nothing about Lauren's life is forced upon her or done because she has no choice.

It's one thing if you face the risk of homelessness and decide that living in a coaster is better than homeless. Lauren walked away from her house and doesn't even charge rent to those who live there instead of her (though one has to speculate that she doesn't turn down any gift they give her in gratitude for saving them rent and letting them squat for free there). She has to check back in at her home to keep her welfare payments on track, but chooses to camp out in the pole barn when she shows up, where she still stores all of her possessions. She didn't get rid of everything she owned when she abandoned her own house, she just stored it all in the barn to make room for the non-renters who now live there.

So, if Lauren cannot take her life with her kids a merely 3-4 months after spending a MONTH in Bali vacationing with those children, where she was surrounded by other unschooling families who occupied her children for her (typical pattern for her), and she then camped out at least one home since then where they not only cared for her children but accomplished a birthday for her child FOR HER, the answer is NOT flying away for a child-free vacation to Europe now. But when has Lauren ever been anything but selfish.

[So Many Lies]

Seems odd she's just up and gone suddenly. The Paris comment initially seemed like idle musing but I should have known better. Will she be back in time for the circus at Mullum or what? Has she been planning this for ages, does she have an itinerary? I wonder if she's at least travelling with a friend.

[bubblekitty]

Alice gave specific dates she would have the children on her blog or FB. I think it was a little over 2 weeks.

Also I suspect it's a stopover in Iceland on the way to the US, some flights do that. Probably hasn't left the airport, but you still get to take nice pictures. That's pretty much what it looks like outside the (very small) airport.

[Cheetah]

Alice gave specific dates she would have the children on her blog or FB. I think it was a little over 2 weeks.

Also I suspect it's a stopover in Iceland on the way to the US, some flights do that. Probably hasn't left the airport, but you still get to take nice pictures. That's pretty much what it looks like outside the (very small) airport.

You might be right, but that's a really LONG way to get to the US from the East Coast of Australia. There are direct flights from Sydney and Brisbane to Los Angeles, or Sydney to SFO. Still like 14 hours, but better than going thru Singapore and Paris and Iceland.

[bubblekitty]

But she had the visit in Paris with the BIL, might have wanted to do that. I know they seem to have twitter contact. Interesting to see where she ends up. Sometimes you can get really cheap deals by having really long flights with lots of stops too.

The mystery to me is why she doesn't just tell people where she is going. She doesn't answer the question on FB about who is dat man, seems like she would rather not have people making assumptions about David's brother! If she's going to visit some rainbow blogger person in the US why doesn't she just say so? Why all secretive?

[miffy]

You might be right, but that's a really LONG way to get to the US from the East Coast of Australia. There are direct flights from Sydney and Brisbane to Los Angeles, or Sydney to SFO. Still like 14 hours, but better than going thru Singapore and Paris and Iceland.

Yeah, its a ridiculous way to get to the USA. Even if you take one of the more 'direct' airlines its still at least 25 hours with the unavoidable stopover.

Qantas do a direct flight from Brisbane to Dallas now.

[So Many Lies]

Those less direct routes are so so much cheaper though.

[Chicken bones]

I am thinking ridiculous things like her having potential book deals, or some such that would take her to NY or something. I know, far-fetched. And so inauthentic.

What get me is the pic she posted a week or so ago, about the glow bracelet they use on their tent at night so the girls can find their way to the tent in the dark. I see that and think it's like a sign to predators saying, here's the tent! Jeez. The personal safety of these girls means nothing to this woman.

[Carla Bruni]

I'm sorry, I just don't get how this is legal. There's giving autonomy to parents to decide certain things for their family and there's... This. At some point the authorities have to intervene, right? Right?!

[Blahblah]

I'm sorry, I just don't get how this is legal. There's giving autonomy to parents to decide certain things for their family and there's... This. At some point the authorities have to intervene, right? Right?!

This has been covered many times before in these threads.

Again, it's all comparative. The girls are not in immediate danger.

There are finite resources available to monitor and help children at risk. Sad as the sparkly girls' situation is, no one is putting out cigarettes on them, selling them to the highest paedophile bidder, making child porn starring them, subjecting them to torture, starving them to death, trying to mutilate their genitals under the banner of a cultural practice, leaving them to rot unattended in piles of their own faeces, and I could go on.

I am not condoning what Lauren has done and I do not like her smug, self-righteous manner. But there is nothing illegal going on, and in the hierarchy of abuse and priority of intervention, her girls are not going to be seized nor will precious resources be used given there are much, much worse situations going on in other families.

[So Many Lies]

It's not illegal to be a dickhead.