Fix the Family: 6 Reasons Not to Send Your Daughter To Colle

[mrs]

I wish this was satire...Catholics have their own SAHD's movement. :shock: :shock: :shock:

fix-the-family.com/blog/6-reasons-to-not-send-your-daughter-to-college

[E Street Fan]

This is as far as I got:

Today, anyone can learn anything they want with the vast library system across the country and with the easy access of the internet.

Does that mean I can just read some library books and surf the Internet, and I can become an epidemiologist? Why the hell am I wasting my time at university?

I swear people who promote SAHDs are insanely fearful that a woman might surpass their own accomplishments--in other words, they're afraid of women.

[Rowan]

Actually, since the purpose of a college degree is for a job, it becomes unnecessary for our daughters to have such a credential. My personal impression is that the day-to-day grind of a job is below the dignity of women. In a way, it is like being a hired hand, as result of the fall and the penalty for original sin.

I'm sorry, the second two sentences to me read as what Fundies think a woman's job is - an unpaid slave to her husband and the children she is expected to produce every two years. All because she's just a woman. The whole article had me seeing red but this hypocrisy just jumps out screaming "These people are idiot nutcases who can't even put a supported and consistent viewpoint together!"

[IamCanadian]

What did I just read? I need to get a glass of warm milk now so I can digest that.

[RachelB]

This is as far as I got:

Does that mean I can just read some library books and surf the Internet, and I can become an epidemiologist? Why the hell am I wasting my time at university?

I swear people who promote SAHDs are insanely fearful that a woman might surpass their own accomplishments--in other words, they're afraid of women.

Yeah, no.

I spent more than average time out of school between college and graduate school; I wanted to pay off my debt and be sure that grad school, since it was a long process, was really the right thing before committing to it.

I discovered when applying to graduate school that it was hard to write a 20-page research paper to show off my scholarly abilities while using only the resources that were available to me for free at the public library and online. Basically, I came across, in my writing sample, as a Freudian (I'm not, but the public library had the complete works of Freud and was much spottier on contemporary critical approaches to literature) and a 19th-century specialist (I'm not, but the online resources for Frankenstein were comparatively good).

The difference between the resources to which I have free access now, even while studying at a relatively cash-strapped state school, and the resources I had as an unaffiliated scholar is pretty stark.

[wild little fox]

Obviously I lack an education. There is so much I miss out on. Thought processes, learning to build logical arguments. Evil science is knowing how the world works. Navigating socially is tremendously hard. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, just that I understand what these young women will miss out on and it saddens me deeply. For most of them there is no excuse not to finish their education except for the expense.

This subject continuously reminds me if why it was once illegal to educate slaves. Same reasons.

[karupin]

They forgot the most important reason of all:

7. She will learn that she is a person.

[alysee]

As sad as this is, they really do believe this. My dad always mentioned the proverbs 31: Who shall find a valiant woman? far and from the uttermost coasts is the price of her. Sorry it's not the KJV but the Douay-Rheims bible.

He always said that women were so precious they had to be protected and it's one of the many reasons why women are supposed to be at home and not working outside the home or why they don't need college. They are to always be protected. Protected from what I realize? I've been a heathen for 8 years and so far I haven't been raped, kidnapped, or sold to slavery.

It makes me want to strangle my father just thinking about him saying those words. Luckily, these days he just tells me he is praying for me and my family, which I can ignore.

[OgrePrincess]

This is as far as I got:

Does that mean I can just read some library books and surf the Internet, and I can become an epidemiologist? Why the hell am I wasting my time at university?

Some of my favorite classes have been ones that looked SO boring at first glance, but an enthusiastic professor made the subject matter interesting and entertaining. Could I have read The Canterbury Tales on my own? Eh, I suppose. Would I have bothered, if I hadn't known it was so raunchy and full of fart jokes? Nope. (I guess that only helps prove the point of the original article, but whatever. Sigh.)

[Nothing2CHere]

What the hell is this tripe? Are these a bunch of crazy Vatican 2 deniers who want to go back to headcoverings, communion rails and Latin mass? As a college-educated Catholic, I'm completely offended by this entry. First, I don't think the Catholic church as a whole would agree with this blog entry, because I can't see all those Catholic colleges being eager to suddenly lose half their population and the tuition money that comes with it. (Not that all Catholic girls go to Catholic colleges - I didn't :) )

As for their specific reasons:

"She will attract the wrong types of men." Because no woman who goes to college ever actually marries a like-minded college-educated man. Nope, we all go slumming and find a jobless guy hanging out at the corner gas station who we can become a Sugar Mama for.

"She will be in a near occasion of sin." Because obviously they raised their daughter to be incapable of thinking for herself or to be able to avoid temptation. Because college is nothing but a drunk orgy 24/7!!! Oh, let me tell you about some of the wild nights I had at college. A drive to the local grocery store with my female friend to buy copies of Cosmo, Vogue, and a bunch of candy bars. Such deviance!

"She will not learn to be a wife and mother. " :pink-shock: REALLY? I learned how to use a washing machine in sixth grade. I think I was around the same age when I started learning how to cook. My mother had me helping her make the beds in early elementary school. And if you don't already have these life skills before you head off to college, college is Life Skills Crash Course 101. You learn really quickly not to wash your red socks and white underwear together, how to change sheets on your bed, how to wash dishes, and how to cook ramen noodles on a hot plate. As for the "mother" part, imo NOTHING prepares you to be a mother no matter how well prepared you think you are. Now where's the concern about college not teaching a son how to become a husband and father?

"The cost of a degree is becoming more difficult to recoup." So we shouldn't send our Catholic sons to college, either. Notre Dame is not going to be happy to hear this plan! :penguin-no:

"You don’t have to prove anything to the world." Maybe, just maybe, the "world" has nothing to do with it and your daughter wants to prove something to herself? Or maybe "proving" has nothing to do with it and she wants to be a well-rounded, educated individual who seizes all the opportunities available to her. When I was in college, I got to travel, I got to learn about a wide variety of things, I met some of my best friends, and I came into my own as a person.

"It could be a near occasion of sin for the parents." Their justification is, "In our culture many parents feel an unnecessary obligation to pay for the children's college tuition. Of course to aid in that there are a host of financial advisers who can set up college investment savings programs for which the government will grant tax favors. So parents may avoid having more children with contraception, sterilization, or illicit use of NFP to bear this cost. " Girls, you can't go to college, your parents will HAVE TO START USING CONDOMS SO THEY CAN PAY FOR YOUR EDUCATION!!!! I can't even. What is "illicit" use of NFP, anyway? Using it to not have babies instead of having babies?

"She will regret it." The only thing I regret about college is that I couldn't fit more into those four short years. They really were some of the best times of my life. Also some of the worst, but I wouldn't be the person I am today if I had not had those experiences, the good and the bad. Maybe, parents who write this blog, you should let your daughter decide if college is something she thinks she'll regret instead of deciding that for her. Oh noes, but then she might exert her own free will and realize that what you're shilling is a bunch of tripe.

[docmom]

It's amazing how similar their arguments are to those of Tory MP Davies Giddy who argued against setting up free schools for the poor in England in 1807:

However specious in theory the project might be of giving education to the labouring classes of the poor, it would, in effect, be found to be prejudicial to their morals and happiness; it would teach them to despise their lot in life, instead of making them good servants in agriculture and other laborious employments to which their rank in society had destined them; instead of teaching them the virtue of subordination, it would render them factious and refractory, as is evident in the manufacturing counties; it would enable them to read seditious pamphlets, vicious books and publications against Christianity; it would render them insolent to their superiors;

And you know what, he was right! And you know what, all of this was GOOD!

[mrs]

What the hell is this tripe? Are these a bunch of crazy Vatican 2 deniers who want to go back to headcoverings, communion rails and Latin mass? As a college-educated Catholic, I'm completely offended by this entry. First, I don't think the Catholic church as a whole would agree with this blog entry, because I can't see all those Catholic colleges being eager to suddenly lose half their population and the tuition money that comes with it. (Not that all Catholic girls go to Catholic colleges - I didn't :) )

As for their specific reasons:

"She will attract the wrong types of men." Because no woman who goes to college ever actually marries a like-minded college-educated man. Nope, we all go slumming and find a jobless guy hanging out at the corner gas station who we can become a Sugar Mama for.

"She will be in a near occasion of sin." Because obviously they raised their daughter to be incapable of thinking for herself or to be able to avoid temptation. Because college is nothing but a drunk orgy 24/7!!! Oh, let me tell you about some of the wild nights I had at college. A drive to the local grocery store with my female friend to buy copies of Cosmo, Vogue, and a bunch of candy bars. Such deviance!

"She will not learn to be a wife and mother. " :pink-shock: REALLY? I learned how to use a washing machine in sixth grade. I think I was around the same age when I started learning how to cook. My mother had me helping her make the beds in early elementary school. And if you don't already have these life skills before you head off to college, college is Life Skills Crash Course 101. You learn really quickly not to wash your red socks and white underwear together, how to change sheets on your bed, how to wash dishes, and how to cook ramen noodles on a hot plate. As for the "mother" part, imo NOTHING prepares you to be a mother no matter how well prepared you think you are. Now where's the concern about college not teaching a son how to become a husband and father?

"The cost of a degree is becoming more difficult to recoup." So we shouldn't send our Catholic sons to college, either. Notre Dame is not going to be happy to hear this plan! :penguin-no:

"You don’t have to prove anything to the world." Maybe, just maybe, the "world" has nothing to do with it and your daughter wants to prove something to herself? Or maybe "proving" has nothing to do with it and she wants to be a well-rounded, educated individual who seizes all the opportunities available to her. When I was in college, I got to travel, I got to learn about a wide variety of things, I met some of my best friends, and I came into my own as a person.

"It could be a near occasion of sin for the parents." Their justification is, "In our culture many parents feel an unnecessary obligation to pay for the children's college tuition. Of course to aid in that there are a host of financial advisers who can set up college investment savings programs for which the government will grant tax favors. So parents may avoid having more children with contraception, sterilization, or illicit use of NFP to bear this cost. " Girls, you can't go to college, your parents will HAVE TO START USING CONDOMS SO THEY CAN PAY FOR YOUR EDUCATION!!!! I can't even. What is "illicit" use of NFP, anyway? Using it to not have babies instead of having babies?

"She will regret it." The only thing I regret about college is that I couldn't fit more into those four short years. They really were some of the best times of my life. Also some of the worst, but I wouldn't be the person I am today if I had not had those experiences, the good and the bad. Maybe, parents who write this blog, you should let your daughter decide if college is something she thinks she'll regret instead of deciding that for her. Oh noes, but then she might exert her own free will and realize that what you're shilling is a bunch of tripe.

I know how you feel. I graduated from a Catholic university(where I meet my husband). I almost didn't post the article because I was embarrassed.

(bolding mine)

[Loveday]

I don't understand this. My adult son, still in college, is a very traditionalist Catholic (I didn't raise him that way, DH and I are more casual, cafeteria-style Catholics here, and I'm actually a convert, previously--gasp!-- a Methodist); he goes to mass every day, adoration every night, confession once a week, and has generally gone deeper and deeper into fundamentalist, pre-Vatican II beliefs and practices. He sometimes tries to get us to follow suit, but we're pretty uncooperative. He's a real joy to live with, let me tell ya. :roll: :lol:

And yet...his girlfriend is a college student, and he has never said a word to make me think he believes she shouldn't be in college. She wants to be a speech therapist, and he's fully supportive of that (and if he wasn't, I don't think she'd chuck it all just to be submissive to him--she doesn't seem the type!). All their female friends are either in college or recent graduates. These women are immersed in the same Catholic belief system he and his girlfriend are involved in, right down to very modest dress and headcoverings at mass. But college is very important to all of them. So I'm just not getting this odd new Catholic version of the SAHD movement. :?

"She will be in a near occasion of sin." Because obviously they raised their daughter to be incapable of thinking for herself or to be able to avoid temptation. Because college is nothing but a drunk orgy 24/7!!! Oh, let me tell you about some of the wild nights I had at college. A drive to the local grocery store with my female friend to buy copies of Cosmo, Vogue, and a bunch of candy bars. Such deviance!

Well, you did buy Cosmo... :naughty: :lol:

[mrs]

I am a recent-ish college grad from a Catholic university. I have seen some of my peers get on board with the "God Squad." But I never saw any sort of increase in modesty. I did see a "decrease" in modesty among the "skrit only" female students. They sometimes wore pants?!

I NEVER saw anyone wear a headcovering at mass beside maybe an occasional nun but most of the nuns at my college dressed in normal cloths, even jeans!

Is this a new movement among young Catholics?

[kpmom]

I don't understand this. My adult son, still in college, is a very traditionalist Catholic (I didn't raise him that way, DH and I are more casual, cafeteria-style Catholics here, and I'm actually a convert, previously--gasp!-- a Methodist); he goes to mass every day, adoration every night, confession once a week, and has generally gone deeper and deeper into fundamentalist, pre-Vatican II beliefs and practices. He sometimes tries to get us to follow suit, but we're pretty uncooperative. He's a real joy to live with, let me tell ya. :roll: :lol:

So, here's an example of a young adult going off to college and becoming more conservative. Just the opposite of what we generally hear from fundies.

Just curious Loveday, does he go to a Catholic college?

[mockingbird]

I think the traditionalist thing is becoming more popoular with young adult Catholics, especially converts. Why, I'm not sure. An anti-rebellion thing? I saw my first family with headcoverings when I went back to visit my parents this summer. Young family with a lot of kids who were all hanging around the church forever after Mass, and the oldest girl (probably about 10) was wearing a headcovering along with the mom. My mom asked me where the Free Jingers were lol. I think a lot of regular Catholics are disturbed by this. I heard recently that Pope Francis has stopped one order of priests from only doing the Latin Mass (they have to say the regular one too now), but I don't remember enough to be able to look that up.

Anyway, the church itself is obviously a huge supporter of education and I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a church official who is (officially at least) this sexist. It's definitely not a mainstream belief.

I'm also a "semi-recent" grad of a Catholic college (about two years ago). We're Jesuit so... heathens. Except we were really tame... for example, it was a big deal when people found marijuana in the dorms (lol my friends who went to state colleges said this was at least a weekly occurrence for them). Our biggest club was the GSA. I had one friend who was very conservative Catholic, though not Traditional (though I'm not sure she'd pass that chance up if she had access to a traditional church).I just remember a few months after we met she was chastising me and another friend when we mentioned that we rarely went to Confession (she went every week of course). The weird thing was some of her best friends were very liberal atheists, while I always got the impression she was being nice to me but also kind-of judging me for not being Catholic enough at the same time. IDK. Haha, oh, I was shocked recently to see her wearing a tube top in a picture on FB. :naughty: (She rocked the "t-shirt under a tank top" look in college!) She was in the minority at my school. We had a lot of people who were involved with their religion, but weren't that conservative. ETA: She came into college like this - her parents are like that. I did see some people become more religious, but I'm not sure I saw anyone get more conservative. Definitely more liberal lol.

[Becket70]

College not just about book learning. It's about having your beliefs challenged, which is a good thing. After all is said and done, you may stick to the beliefs you had when you entered college or you may alter them. The point is that your narrow world widens when you enter college (unless it is an ersatz school like Liberty University) and you meet people outside your circle of friends. How can that be a negative?

[Loveday]

So, here's an example of a young adult going off to college and becoming more conservative. Just the opposite of what we generally hear from fundies.

Just curious Loveday, does he go to a Catholic college?

No, actually he goes to our local public university. His conservative leanings come from having gone to a Catholic youth retreat a few years ago and then getting very involved with the youth/young adult group at his church (he stopped going to our church as he felt it wasn't conservative enough :? ). He actually took a year off from college to spend some time at a monastery, discerning a possible call to the priesthood, but that came to nothing and he's back at school now, finishing up his last semester. I think (and hope!) as time goes on and the realities of life set in, he'll relax a bit, but in the meantime, as I said, living with a saint ain't easy! :pray: :lol:

[JMarie]

Good grief. Even Frothy's daughter is away at college.

[Rosie]

As for their specific reasons:

"She will attract the wrong types of men." Because no woman who goes to college ever actually marries a like-minded college-educated man. Nope, we all go slumming and find a jobless guy hanging out at the corner gas station who we can become a Sugar Mama for.

Actually, in forgoing college she may not attract breadwinner-types, at least not of the highly-educated variety. Increasingly, men marry their economic/social equals, and not "down" (as they did in the past):

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/13/world ... wanted=all

[gustava]

This article includes video:

http://www.salon.com/2013/09/12/terribl ... o_college/

[GolightlyGrrl]

This article includes video:

http://www.salon.com/2013/09/12/terribl ... o_college/

Jezebel has discovered this:

http://jezebel.com/selfie-hating-church ... 1278730947

And so has Huff Po:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/1 ... 15613.html

[JMarie]

This article includes video:

http://www.salon.com/2013/09/12/terribl ... o_college/

Lots of fun with this video:

"women are the thermostats of morality"

"Dressing With Dignity" is a must read

girls shouldn't dance, play sports, or go to college

"contracepting" as a verb

[NotALoserLikeYou]

jezebel.com/creepy-catholic-website-explains-why-women-shouldnt-go-1297432590

fixthefamily.com/blog/6-reasons-to-not-send-your-daughter-to-college?fb_comment_id=fbc_568638923194137_5273730_569301253127904&fb_source=message#f3ee695ec54226

reasons not to send your daughter to college:

She will attract the wrong types of men

She will be in a near occasion of sin.

She will not learn to be a wife and mother.

The cost of a degree is becoming more difficult to recoup.

You don’t have to prove anything to the world.

It could be a near occasion of sin for the parents. (because parents will not be able to afford college, so if they know their daughters will go there, they will start using birth control to limit family size)

She will regret it. (wow)

It could interfere with a religious vocation.

[Arete]

By "catholic website" do we mean Catholic as in has the official backing of the US Catholic Church, or Catholic as in was put up by a knuckle dragger who identifies as Catholic? Because there is a big difference, and I have a hard time believing that an institution that has founded and maintained so many top notch universities on US soil suddenly is discouraging women from attending. I didn't actually go look because I am pretty much full up on men who are terrified of women and who hide behind religion. :evil-eye: