FYI (if you're a teenage girl)/slut shaming - Merge

[mausi]

A few of my American acquaintances posted this on Facebook today. I agree with one key part of the message (that I'm not entirely sure she was aware she was making): teenagers need to be (more) careful of their online presence. But this poster, I don't know, it just made me really annoyed. She's concerned about her teenage sons being defrauded by female friends posting 'scantily clad' or bra-less photos in their bedroom, and blames these teenage girls for what it does to her teenage boys/teenage boys more generally.

So, yes, on the one hand, women (and men), no matter the age, be careful online and really think things through (something I was horrible at as a teenager... so glad the internet wasn't what it is today back then...). That said, why so much blame on the girls? Why not try teaching your sons self-control? Why refer to your sons as men but the same age females as girls?

And why, for the love of god, have a blog post blasting teenage girls for scantily clad photos and then feature pics of your constantly-Facebook-defrauded sons in swim attire??

givenbreath.com/2013/09/03/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl/

[Anny Nym]

What is this? some kind of fundie -parody? 0_o What´s up with that person flashing her underage sons on the interwebs?

Doesn´t she know that "what happens in the internet, stays on the internet"?

[polecat]

Oh, the irony.

[BravaAmica]

I feel like praying for the women her sons will love. That these women will have the spine necessary to withstand this harpy as a mother-in-law.

[EyeQueue]

And why, for the love of god, have a blog post blasting teenage girls for scantily clad photos and then feature pics of your constantly-Facebook-defrauded sons in swim attire??

But that's OK, dontcha know, because teh wimminz aren't turned on by images. They don't get defrauded by what they see. :roll:

[fun2beme]

That said, why so much blame on the girls?

Kind of like the VMA show - Miley Cyrus is a disgusting, nasty tramp but Robin Thicke gets no flack at all. And according to his mom, Miley defrauded him. :angry-banghead:

[jaelh]

Kind of like the VMA show - Miley Cyrus is a disgusting, nasty tramp but Robin Thicke gets no flack at all. And according to his mom, Miley defrauded him. :angry-banghead:

Oh, GAH.

I hope you've all see this fabutasic video:

http://www.3news.co.nz/Students-parody-performance-blurs-lines/tabid/423/articleID/311517/Default.aspx

[emesbe]

I am LOVING the calling out going on in the comments.

[walnut]

What is this? some kind of fundie -parody? 0_o What´s up with that person flashing her underage sons on the interwebs?

Doesn´t she know that "what happens in the internet, stays on the internet"?

:shock: Who is that person?

[FJismyheadship]

Someone on my friends list posted it too...

you know, I think I preferred thinking some people were a bit nuts... Facebook lets the full on crazy shine through.

[Anise]

What kind of creepy family stalks people on Facebook together? Is this some way that the parents can keep track of friend's children and their children's friends without being given permission through friending?

"If you are friends with a Hall boy on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter, then you are friends with the whole Hall family."

No, you're not. This is not normal. This is a creepy invasion of privacy.

The real message here is crazy parents of your friends may stalk you by forcing your friends to show all the photos and news you put up for people you chose to have on your list. Beware the crazy.

"we have to block your posts"

we

:lol:

[walnut]

Someone on my friends list posted it too...

you know, I think I preferred thinking some people were a bit nuts... Facebook lets the full on crazy shine through.

Everyone says how people are "pretending" on facebook. No, quite the opposite. It's like, a secret diary to them, they pour out all the crazy they manage to keep to themselve IRL. Facebook is a place where everyone comes out of the closet.

[watchdog]

I was hoping someone here already found and posted this! The irony and hypocrisy just burn which many of the commenters so aptly reminded her. This was one of my favorites:

“Dear Mrs. Hall, I am glad you have such lovely, pure as the driven snow teenage boys and such a great family that loves to look at FB together as a family but…until you’ve raised a teenage girl, please don’t judge so harshly. Holy crap!! I mean, I HATE that all the girls (and I do mean all) do the duck pouts and the selfies and do so in their bedroom or the bathroom mirror (honestly, how many self portraits can you take??) …but just wait until your darling 8 year old turns 15 and then when you figure out a way to stop it, let me know okay? Meanwhile our daughters are growing up in an environment where looks are prized far more than “what’s inside†and “their beautiful personalities†– and yes, even your wonderful boys are probably guilty of it too (just look at them in their own ravishing bodies – showing off! Wow! What hotties!). Our daughters want to look attractive and unfortunately that translates to how many “Likes†they get. I hope my daughter grows out of this, but until then, yes please, “unfriend herâ€. Ya, that will help her, I am sure.â€

[Arete]

When I was a pure teen and twenty-something back in the Stone Age, uncorrupted and untouched by the Internet, a lot of people developed their own film as a hobby. I have warm, fuzzy memories of the many penis pictures belonging to drunk teenage boys and twenty-something men. No, this isn't new and girls/Facebook didn't start the trend.

[julie paradox]

I am now off to read more by Kyle David Greenberg.

[Nothing2CHere]

FJ, I love you. I just read this via a link in my Facebook feed and I wasn't quite sure what to think when I finished reading this and "ran" over here to see if anyone was already discussing it. Whoever up above pointed out the hypocrisy of posting photos of her boys in nothing but swimtrunks, striking muscle-man poses, while lambasting teenage girls for essentially doing the same, right on!

I think what made me feel the most icky about this article is yeah, it's good for the girls to be reminded that The-Internet-Is-Forever and to be careful what they post up there, but really, without seeing the actual photo causing all this ire, if the girl is striking a silly red carpet pose in her pajamas with no bra on - what girl hasn't done something like that at a sleepover? If something like THAT is causing her precious beefcake boys (and I know they're beefcake boys, Mrs. Hall, because YOU posted photos of them striking poses in their swimtrunks!) to falter all because OH MY GOD SHE DOESN'T HAVE A BRA ON! while striking a pose in her flannel Snoopy pajamas, I think the real conversation needs to be with her sons about exerting self-control. Women have boobs, fact of life, but women are more than their boobs. Mrs. Hall knows it, she wrote, "We think you are lovely and interesting, and usually very smart." But by blocking the girl's posts, she's only reinforcing to her boys that women are the sum total of their boobs, and it doesn't matter how "lovey and interesting" the girl otherwise is, because OMG! BOOBIES UNDER A SHIRT THAT ARE NOT IN A BRA!!!!

[Pomidor]

I too was horrified to find this on my news feed! I rushed over here intent on posting it, but you all are way ahead of me :P

Honestly, all I feel like the post would have been much more efficient if she had simply said something like, "Hey girls, we like you but your slutty gross faces are tempting our precious innocent teenage sons (they're super attractive; see attached photos,) and because we don't think they need to have any sense of responsibility or self control we're blocking your disgusting facebook posts, you whores. Go with Christ." That's all I got from it, anyway.

She did reply to the commenters who pointed out the double standard, and she was shocked (SHOCKED, I tell you!) to think that anyone would find those shirtless posed pictures of her boys sexual! Then she did the non-pology "I'm sorry if..." thing. Well, at least she admits she MIGHT need to rethink the photos? I don't know, it seems like lip service to me (especially since the photos are still there,) just meant to let you know she's a very open minded and not at all completely sexist person.

[treehugger]

My sister-in-law shared this on Facebook today. I ranted a little under the post. Was then informed that everyone should learn appropriate behaviour (which is fine and I totally agree with that - but that is definitely NOT the tone of the article), and that it is totes okay for the whole family to go through everyone's pictures on facebook to make sure it is appropriate (because that isn't incredibly violating and creepy at all!). And now I remember why I don't usually bother to comment under stupid posts like that. Arrgggh! I know way too many fundie-lite people irl.

[O Latin]

I rolled my eyes when a Facebook friend posted this yesterday. She (my friend) is nowhere near fundie or even fundie-lite, she's just a prudish, overprotective mother who can't deal with the fact that her sons and stepsons (the oldest of which is a junior in high school) aren't going to be her darling little boys forever.*

Anyway, while I think it's weird that this family apparently looks at girls' Facebook pages together, I have read advice from legit experts urging parents to monitor who their kids are friends with on social media, albeit in more of a "do you know him/her in real life" kind of way, so I don't think it's a complete invasion of privacy to look at your teenage child's Facebook page.

My biggest WTF moment was when she mentioned girls in towels being "sexual." I don't wear a towel when I want to feel super sexy. I wear a towel when I've just got out of the shower. That being said, I've also never thought, "gee, I should take a picture of myself in this totally awesome towel and post it on Facebook," so I don't really know what these towel-clad girls are thinking, either.

*I know many mothers are often reluctant to see their children grow up, but this woman takes it way over the top.

[emesbe]

Check her ironic post from 2011, shirtless pics of her husband included

givenbreath.com/2011/12/08/i-spy/

[Loveday]

Check her ironic post from 2011, shirtless pics of her husband included

givenbreath.com/2011/12/08/i-spy/

And yet, women aren't turned on by the visual like men are. :roll:

[ceg045]

Showed up on my newsfeed today:

givenbreath.com/2013/09/03/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl/

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I know your family would not be thrilled at the thought of my teenage boys seeing you only in your towel. Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t ever un-see it? You don’t want the Hall boys to only think of you in this sexual way, do you?

Riiiight. Because no teenage boy ever thought of a teenage girl in a sexual way without seeing her in a towel (or bikini or pajamas) first.

[Ellimenopy]

Oh God, I SAW this! I thought the stupidest part was the hypocrisy. It's bad for girls to show skin, but it's totally okay to plaster pictures of her naked teenage sons!

And girls aren't turned on visually?!? HA! I've got a lifelong infatuation with Mario Lopez that begs to differ (former mullet notwithstanding).

[mausi]

"I spy" with my little eye... a huge hypocrite. We have now seen every male member of her family without a shirt.