FYI (if you're a teenage girl)/slut shaming - Merge

[Elementally Amy]

I try to just lurk around here, but today my sister (who is not spiritual or fundy) posted a link to this blog on facebook. I was so furious I rewrote my response to her around five times and then deleted all the responses because she isn't into reading. Thank you to those of you who linked to responses to this blog post because i ended up just posting a series of links, those posts can say what i am thinking more eloquently than I. She is pretty much thinking that teen girls need to stop dressing like sluts because it's distasteful. I don't agree with *that* either, but she likely didn't even read the entire blog entry so I didn't want to go into full on attack mode, however she has a lot of fb friends including her grandson that I do not want to subscribe to slut-shaming.

I cannot believe how many ways the world finds to shame women/girls. You would think they would be happy with their previous methods, but nope, women like this one get to tell others how to dress for their pics and place their sons purity on a teen girls bare shoulders :angry-banghead: .

[Full enough quiver]

I think everyone is different. Some women are more visually stimulated than others, and some men are less visually stimulated. I'm surprised my stepdaughter doesn't have whiplash from her constant ogling of anyone halfway decent looking between 14 and 40. At her age, I couldn't have cared less if a guy was shirtless. I doubt I would have even noticed. That probably had a lot to do with my prudish upbringing, but also just personality differences. With guys, I think the less visually stimulated ones ogle girls to fit in with their friends. Wouldn't want to seem gay, ya know. I definitely think society has a lot to do with it. Guys are supposed to get turned on by the sight of a hot girl, but if a girl is turned on by a hot guy, then she's a ho. I've had my sister's boys staying with me the last few months, and I can see a difference in boys, too. The older one seems more focused on personality, where the younger one is a mini horn dog! This kid is 8 years old, and he's ogling women at the beach! What I'm trying to do is model respectful treatment, and remind him that it's rude to stare. With the older girl, I tell her that lusting after someone is perfectly normal, but that character and having compatible personalities is what leads to true love.

[PurpleSheepleEater]

Full Enough Quiver, I had that exact conversation with a fundie friend of mine. She gave me a pitying look and said that if girls were anywhere near as visually stimulated as men there would be lots of male strip clubs just like there are female strip clubs. Instead there are next to no male strip clubs and those near exclusively cater to gay man. Therefor nature supports her position and I'm full of it. Thoughts?

Yes, women aren't visually stimulated and that's why the movie Magic Mike was such a failure. Except that it wasn't.

[PurpleSheepleEater]

jessicagottlieb.com/2013/09/fyi-an-open-letter-to-teenage-girls-who-dont-always-wear-a-bra/

Nice response here.

[Janes Heir]

I learned about it from Christian feminist blogger Dianna Anderson: http://diannaeanderson.net/blog/2013/9/ ... onsibility

[mockingbird]

Yes, women aren't visually stimulated and that's why the movie Magic Mike was such a failure. Except that it wasn't.

Haha, I went to another movie on the night of the premiere, not realizing it was Magic Mike premiere night. Got out to a line out the main door of the movie theatre, mostly women.

I agree that everyone is different though and it depends on the personality of the person. I tend to fall for personality first. I think part of that is because I'm pretty quiet and in general need to get to know someone to really open up, and tend to choose platonic friends carefully, so that just carries over?

[doggie]

Even if the girl is dressed in a garbage bag a teen boy is going to have sexual thoughts about them Burka's don't stop the thoughts. Jesus is supposed to stop them though. So should girls wear Jesus clothes?

[JesusFightClub]

What would this involve, Doggie? Robes and sandals? :lol:

Perhaps all teenage girls should disguise themselves as Jesus. Then if a boy still lusts, you KNOW it's his fault.

[emesbe]

[AnywhereButHere]

I saw this on Facebook this morning. Somehow though I get the feeling that the meaning would be lost on the Hall family.

Seeing a Woman: A conversation between a father and son

"A lot of people will try and tell you that a woman should watch how she dresses so she doesn’t tempt you to look at her wrongly. Here is what I will tell you. It is a woman’s responsibility to dress herself in the morning. It is your responsibility to look at her like a human being regardless of what she is wearing.

...

A woman, or any human being, should not have to dress to get your attention. You should give them the full attention they deserve simply because they are a fellow human being. On the other side, a woman should not have to feel like she needs to protect you from you. You need to be in control of you.

...

A woman’s body is beautiful and wonderful and mysterious. Respect it by respecting her as an individual with hopes and dreams and experiences and emotions and longings. Let her be confident. Encourage her confidence. But don’t do all this because she is weaker. That’s the biggest bunch of crap out there. Women are not weaker than men. They are not the weaker sex. They are the other sex.

I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being. "

Read more at: natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.9cUwCcSW.dpuf

[louisa05]

jessicagottlieb.com/2013/09/fyi-an-open-letter-to-teenage-girls-who-dont-always-wear-a-bra/

Nice response here.

This one matches up quite nicely to my 69 year old mother's response to all of this--and with a pack of extended family that were at one time no make-up, no styling your hair, no wearing pants fundies, she's heard all this modesty stuff framed a thousand different ways--which was that she is sick and tired of people telling girls and women that they are somehow bad because they have breasts.

[Phoebe]

Check her ironic post from 2011, shirtless pics of her husband included

givenbreath.com/2011/12/08/i-spy/

....aaaaaaand it's gone. I guess she didn't want to defraud any of us dirty slutbags! :roll:

[emesbe]

....aaaaaaand it's gone. I guess she didn't want to defraud any of us dirty slutbags! :roll:

shhhh... the internet is forever

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/s ... clnk&gl=us

[Sweetpea1]

shhhh... the internet is forever

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/s ... clnk&gl=us

Gotta love the internet archive. :)

[louisa05]

shhhh... the internet is forever

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/s ... clnk&gl=us

So the entire point of that post is that she was first interested in her husband after seeing him shirtless in a window. But women are not visual and are never attracted to men for their physical appearance and it is okay to plaster shirtless pics of her sons all over the web while chewing out teenage girls who dare to photograph themselves while having breasts.

Okay, then. :?

[gustava]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/0 ... 74957.html

Some interesting points made in this piece. Honestly, I would like to see young women expose less of their bodies when in public (actually any woman) but then I've done my share of body exposing in my younger days, so glass houses, etc.

[crassy]

She goes on to say the pictures will be judged by the Hall family, and those who are found to be posting too explicit images will lose social media friend privileges with her sons.

Oh good! I will make sure that my kid posts images this family deems to be unsavoury. I wouldn't want her to be corrupted and belittled by such a family of douche bags such as the one in this story.

"Those posts don’t reflect who you are" Hall exclaims. "We think you are lovely and interesting, and usually very smart. But, we had to cringe and wonder what you were trying to do? Who are you trying to reach? What are you trying to say... Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t ever un-see it? You don’t want the Hall boys to only think of you in this sexual way, do you?"

Well obviously not you, you judgemental twat. I also don't give a fat flying fuck what the 'Hall boys' think of anyone. Why should I? And one more thing, I saw the photos of this woman's sons. Wearing only bathing suits and no shirts. I cannot unsee it. The only difference is that I don't see them in a sexual way because I am not a pervert...and because ew. I hope to fuck my daughter wouldn't be seeing them that way either. You see, I teach her that it doesn't matter what a person is wearing, but I guess that point is lost on this twat and her holier-than-thou sons (still not sure why I should be caring how these boys see anyone).

This woman is not really yapping about women wearing next to nothing, she is yapping about girls in pyjamas taking selfies, or wearing bathing suits at the beach (something her kids are totes free to do because double standards and sexism). She can fuck off and bite me. I don't care if someone is walking around naked, I have no right to judge them, nor should they be shamed for their choices in clothing. This is yet another case of females being solely responsible for the thoughts and actions of men. Fuck.That.Shit.

[AllisonWndrland]

Crassy, I can't like your post hard enough. This BS appeared on my Facebook feed today, courtesy of an LDS friend. You put my reaction into words. :clap:

[Hane]

Nuts--the Opposite World version of this showed up in my FB feed this morning and I can't figure out how to link it via my phone!

[Antigone]

I saw this on my FB too a few days ago. I can't recall who put it up; if they were liberal or fundie. I was a bit pissed about the double standard. I do applaud her effort for kids to be a bit more appropriate with pictures on facebook, since who knows who will see it, etc. I'm no prude, but I wouldn't put up anything that I wouldn't want anyone to see (plain old common sense). She doesn't have to be a total twat about it though. Ugh.

I just practice "If you have doubt, or don't want anyone to see it, don't put it up". Simple as that, since the interwebz never forgets. And she seems to forget that there is a little button that takes stuff off of your feed. I use that when one of my friends goes crazy with the inspirational crap every two seconds. Urgh.

[EyeQueue]

I think this is being discussed in another thread:

www.freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=19102

[FreeJosie]

I find viewpoints like Kim "Hypocrite" Hall's to be insulting to both women and men. Women are slutty temptresses who deserve to be shamed for what they wear. Men lack higher intelligence and are only capable of thinking with their penises. Gross. I'm glad she's not my mother.

And how creepy is the "Teenage girls, if you're friends with one of us, you're friends with ALL of us" remark? It is the Hall borg, and you will be assimilated! :lol:

[thoughtful]

Nuts--the Opposite World version of this showed up in my FB feed this morning and I can't figure out how to link it via my phone!

Is this it?

theirondaisywrites.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-boy/

[Savoring Samsara]

Full Enough Quiver, I had that exact conversation with a fundie friend of mine. She gave me a pitying look and said that if girls were anywhere near as visually stimulated as men there would be lots of male strip clubs just like there are female strip clubs. Instead there are next to no male strip clubs and those near exclusively cater to gay man. Therefor nature supports her position and I'm full of it. Thoughts?

Or maybe there are few male-staffed strip clubs targeting women because women have been taught that the free expression of their sexual desires is shameful and not something to be expressed in public. Nurture is as strong a force as nature.

[emesbe]

OH SNAP

http://jezebel.com/selfie-hating-church ... 1278730947