Would You Like to be Married to Josh D.?

[luckylassie]

I have someone in my family who is more deserving of the name smuggar then even Josh (if that were possible). He tells his wife that she dresses like a slut, has no job, and felt entitled to have different girlfriends on the side when he wants. Now, he has flesh eating bacteria and his in-laws are hoping that he keels over. He has three smuggarettes and one is turning into him day by day. His business degree is useless to him right now as he is almost retirement age and has no retirement money at all (the rich wife cut him off after his latest affair).

[3 is enough]

Never. Ever. No.

[nutella addict]

Hmmm, smug obnoxious childish patriarch who can't do jack shit for himself and is a used car salesman, or my loving, caring, incredibly funny and intelligent boyfriend who encourages me to pursue higher education even if it means getting more post-secondary education than he has, who *dislikes* any semblance of submission on my part and prefers me to be his equal, who will sometimes cook for me, who will make sure I don't sleep through my alarm clock, who can be handy around the house AND lets me help, who is way sexier, who can imitate a variety of accents really well, who genuinely cares about helping other people, and who wants kids and will happily go with whatever number I want and we can afford/be responsible about? Oh, very tough decision there.

Really my first reaction was HEEEELLLLL TO THE NO! (Belted out like Mercedes in Glee)

Smuggar was not that bad looking in the courtship episode before he got so very wide, and I don't think the first time or two that I saw him I minded him all that much, but now I cringe when he's on the camera, before he even opens his mouth. If I didn't go insane in two days someone would have to check if he was drugging my water. If I had to marry a Duggar, even though I'm Josh's age, I'd wait for Josiah to grow up, provided he grows up straight (he's the one boy that pings my very-rusty-and-never-that-great-to-begin-with gaydar). He seems to actually have an entertaining and creative personality, and like he could crack a joke or two.

[VintageJen1984]

I actually want a lot of the same things that Josh wants in life. I want to homeschool (but for way different reasons), homebirth, be a midwife, and have a bunch of children. (Not 19...more like 7 or 8.) And I actually found Josh to be fairly attractive before he got married and became the man of the house, a.k.a. Jim-Bob-lite. I even would have liked to be married young. (I'm 26 and not married or even seriously dating anyone...it didn't happen, obviously.) (In my town I have been considered basically an old maid since 23.)

But it's still a huge no. For one thing, I want a husband that considers me his equal, accepts that I have a brain and there will be things I can do better than him. And I am far, far too accepting of Catholics and Episcopals and all those other churches that the Duggars consider false. For that matter, mine (or at least the one I was raised in and haven't moved from yet), which is Baptist, has women who wear pants (even the pastors wife!) and women are allowed to lead prayer in church.

And I don't know where we decided the Duggars stood on pets, but I really really want a dog, and not even a dog that could do something useful (like be a guard dog) but one of those teeny tiny ones, and it actually is kind of a non-negotiable. So. There you have it.

[ladypuglover]

I agree that JD is the better catch of the Duggar boys and maybe the next one on down. I can't say anything about the next 7 boys because they are children and who knows who they will be at adulthood. I'm not the same person I was at 8 nor even 20 and I doubt anyone can say they have never changed since early childhood... except Josh. But I think JD, the next boy in line will make fine husbands one day and the rest will too if JD has a hand in their up-bringing. Poor Josh, he really needs an older brother like JD to help him on a good path.

[lovefromgirl]

Chiming in with my own HELL, NO. Don't think he'd much approve of me, anyhow. I'm looking to get sterilized, not spend the rest of my life chasing children and/or grandchildren because their useless sperm donors can't get off their arses and, y'know, parent. I also doubt he'd be too hot on my science fiction habit, or my fondness for expletive-laden music.

I much prefer the darling man who, when I was first visiting, offered me the room with all the books. (This was maybe a month and a half in. He knew me very well!) Oh, and who has been with the same company for 20+ years, having acquired said job on his own merits. I would be happy to look after him if he ever fell on hard times--he's proven he has something called a "work ethic" (Smuggar would have to Google that)--and lord knows my love has been willing to look after me when I've needed him. Relationships are give and take! Who knew?

[cjsmom]

Not a hope. )Then again, he wouldn't have me either. I like to work for a living, I don't hold the same political or religious beliefs... the list goes on...) He's, well... smug. He's not educated, he doesn't live independently of his parents (despite leave and cleave being mentioned on telly), he barely works as he's constantly on roadtrips... he apparently figured it would be fine for his very pregnant wife to be on a bus in late pregnancy. Last but not least, he sold the most intimate moments of his life to TLC - wedding, births of his children... I hope Anna's happy with him. I don't know how she does it.

[darareaksmey]

He would be very, very lucky to get me, but hell NO. I have at least three times the education he has, and I doubt we would have anything to talk about. Also, two children were quite enough for me, thanks. And I don't find him in the least attractive and I think I would have unloaded on him the first time he suggested that I "keep sweet."

[readergirl]

Just the thought of marrying Smuggar makes my head hurt. It also makes my dinner start to come back up. And I think I feel a bout of explosive diarreah (sp?) coming on.

[lilwriter85]

No I wouldn't like to be married to Josh for different reasons. To start his personality is smug and piss poor. Also I think Michelle and some of the girls are way too nosy. I wouldn't like the idea of sister-in-laws being with me while delivering a child.

[CanadianHippie]

The critical thinking skills would need to be there before the Duggar kids could break away in the first place. The good news is, some children acquire the ability to think for themselves, without being taught. It usually starts at a very young age, with a little voice inside the child telling him or her that something is wrong with their family. I've often heard adults who did well in life despite abusive or dysfunctional backgrounds saying things like, "As far back as I can remember, I knew my parents were nuts and I didn't want to be like them." These kinds of kids usually grow into adults who question everything.

I'm going to have to disagree that thinking for your self has to be taught. It's the inability to think for ones self that has to be taught. That is why child 'training' is such a big thing with these people. Because they know that if they don't beat out their child's natural development of autonomy, they are going to end up with teens and young adults who are capable of thinking for themselves. That is why very young children go through a stage where everything is the way they say it is and not the way the adults say it is. And why they go through a similar stage as teenagers.

I also disagree that critical thinking skills is necessary to break away. One can know something is wrong on a visceral level and work to separate themselves from it. That is in no way critical thinking, as there is no logic, research, etc, around it, it's a purely emotional reaction.

[Buzzard]

No. Among other things, he seems like he would be really bad in bed. You have to think about those things if you aren't allowed to "test drive" the goods ahead of time.

The squicky pic of smuggar/anna and j'chelle/boob kissing is sooo telling. Josh and Anna look so awkward in their kiss. Sex must be boring as hell.

[Seven Severn]

No way in hell. Uneducated, beholden to daddy for a living, and being unable to think for oneself are not attractive qualities. Then there's the whole patriarchy thing which means that he thinks that people who have penises are innately superior to people who have ovaries and vaginas. No.

[ADoyle90815]

Hell No! Then again, I'm not the submissive type he would prefer, plus I think for myself and I would rather work outside the home than have to rely on a used car salesman. I also use birth control pills which have reduced PMS symptoms, cramping and heavy days every month for me. Another issue is that if I were to have children, I wouldn't want my MIL in the room with me, and I would rather give birth in a hospital or birthing center, not sitting on my toilet. I have twice the education of Smuggar as well.

I prefer to marry a man, not a boy as I made that mistake with my ex-husband who was so much of a mamma's boy, that he would rather live with his mom than get a job and live on his own. Smuggar at least lives in a house separate from his mom, but his parents provided him that home as it was one of their rental properties. One thing that makes my SO a man is that he has his own condo and does his own cooking, cleaning, and laundry. He also doesn't rely on any family for anything.

[VodouDoll]

I would not like to be married to Josh D. And I don't think he'd much like to be married to me either.

[keeperrox]

I'm going to have to disagree that thinking for your self has to be taught. It's the inability to think for ones self that has to be taught.

While I understand what you mean, it's just not as simple as that. Students would much rather me tell or show them how to do things (or do it for them) than figure it out on their own, which completely goes against the purpose of my course (Family & Consumer Science, so I'm referring to cooking and sewing). I have to teach them how to read critically, decode, and then give them the confidence to actually try it out on their own. While that can be innate, without someone fostering their natural curiosity (which the Duggars absolutely do not have), those skills disappear.

[CanadianHippie]

Needing someone to guide you in learning a new skill is not an inability to think for ones self. It's human. The majority of people out there need someone more experienced to help them figure out something that is just slightly out of their ability. In fact being able to figure out something new on your own is a sign of giftedness, not a sign of thinking for ones self. Most of these fundie families actively discourage any attempt to learn new things, including asking questions and seeking help, if it contradicts what they believe the world should be. The ability to ask questions and learn new things is still there, it's only been so tightly controlled up to that point that they don't know quite how to go about asking/searching for answers.

[yetanothermeg]

No. I deserve so much better.

[Lillybee]

No way in hell. I would hate to be stuck with Ma and Pa Duggar as in-laws, even if Joshie wasn't so smug.

[almostfundylyte]

No way in hell. I'll keep my husband, who cleans toilets, sweeps & mops, actually does most of the housework, doesn't care what I wear, and encourages me when I feel like quitting my DBA program.

[Patsy]

He's not just lazy, inconsiderate and smug, he's NOTABLY lazy, inconsiderate and smug. Terrible combination for someone you're to share your life with!

[Jencendiary]

Smuggar? Never. John David could get it all day, every day though.

[AnnoDomini]

I'm positive I would suck at being a submissive wife. I'm not a submissive enough daughter, even to someone I acknowledge has authority over me.

Last year my father and I had a disagreement of some kind, and he rolled his eyes at me (something the family HIGHLY frowns upon, as it's a symbol of blatant disrespect). I didn't act meek and walk away and just lie down taking this blatant disrespect. I said 'Don't roll your eyes at me'. When he's in alpha male mode he does not take disagreement well. HE DID IT AGAIN, DELIBERATELY. I stood up and began walking toward him. My mother said not a word against him, but sent me to my room. It made me sick.

My sister got home from work and I told her what happened. She usually sympathizes with my mother but this time she sympathized with me. She HATES confrontation but she swept into the den, told my parents their behaviour made her sick tonight, physically sick (of course my parents had no idea what she was talking about, though they should have), and then she came back to where I was and invited me to get out of there with her.

[Deleted02]

Oh HELL NO.

Besides, I cuss like a sailor and his head would explode in 5 minutes.

[muffynbear]

No way in hell would I marry Smuggar. He's lazy, SMUG, and under-educated. Also he's fat and balding already and he's only 22! Besides, I don't take crap from any man. He wouldn't like me because I would put him in his place in no time. I have no tolerance for a lazy know-it-all like him.