Lori Alexander: Women Aren't Happy

[lilwriter85]

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/06/are-women-happier-today.html

Are women happier now than years ago? We are taught to be strong, independent, and make a name for ourselves. Most women seem to be in a continual fight with their husbands because they want to wear the pants in the relationship. Here is what a commenter on another blog wrote on this very topic ~

Would you rather be happy or right? That’s a question my father once asked me when I asked him why he was putting up with a veritable hail of whining from my mother. As it turns out, he should have been asking my mother the question.

Men tend to ask themselves this question on a regular basis, opting for happy. For women, the idea never occurs. Everything is about truth, justice, and the feminine way.

The fact is women were self-reportedly more satisfied with their lives when they spent their days caring for their children, maintaining the house, cooking delicious meals, and exercising so she could flash her husband a view of her shapely thighs as she headed upstairs for the night. Never mention this fact to the modern woman as it will give them the vapors. “But that’s, not right! Women didn’t have CHOICES! They were basically SLAVES! They didn’t have INDEPENDENCE! There’s no way they could have been happy.”

I think he is right. I know I lived most of my married life wanting to be right rather than happy. Happiness comes from doing things God's way, not my way. Happy is the man that finds wisdom, and the man that gets understanding. {Proverbs 3;13}

Most women don't seem too happy today. Many woman I mentor are angry, bitter, and resentful towards her husband. It usually starts with an unthankful heart. "He's working too hard." "He doesn't help me around the house enough."

As I have grown older, the more I realize that the relationship is much more important than being right. God didn't make us the same. Every human being is unique, made in the image of God, and is gifted with different skills and abilities. It is so sad that we have forgotten this solid evidence and tried to make everyone the same.

[dairyfreelife]

Citations please, Lori Alexander the monster. Otherwise, you are just making shit up. Not that I'm shocked you would do such a thing. Making up facts is really the same as lying, just so she is aware.

[singsingsing]

Like most people, I have two grandmothers. Both are in their 70s, both have been married to their husbands for over 50 years. Grandmother 1's husband is a lovely, very nice man, but their relationship most definitely followed the traditional patriarchal model where the man went to work, and the woman stayed home and took care of the (in this case 5) children. The man was the head of the family. Wives and daughters submitted to him. Boys were valued more than girls.

Grandmother 2's husband is also a great person, but especially when he was younger he had a short temper. They did not follow the patriarchal model. Both worked and both shared pretty much equally in the household tasks. The girls and women were not expected to be submissive to the men and boys, the very thought would have seemed absurd.

Grandmother 1 is a pretty miserable person with a plethora of 'issues'. Grandmother 2 is very happy and well adjusted. Weird.

[Minerva]

Translation: Lori isn't happy. And who would be with her asshole of a husband?

[Hane]

Lori Anderson Is A Fucking Monster once again cherrypicks stuff to support her preconceived opinions (assuming the quoted post is real). And once again she's on her "You fat loser you" rant.

Every one of us knows happy, fulfilled women with jobs outside the home, and happy, fulfilled SAHMs. We also know bitter, miserable women with jobs outside the home, and bitter, miserable SAHMs.

Lori, I'm about your age, and, take it from this fellow "mentor," you are chock full of $#S!+.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Most women seem to be in a continual fight with their husbands because they want to wear the pants in the relationship.

Or we have option #3: Mature men who don't have a NEED to always be right, and are capable of having an adult relationship with mutual respect.

[salex]

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/06/are-women-happier-today.html

It sounds like Lori has always been a bitch on wheels, and has made every relationship hell for herself and those in in (spouse, children, etc) and possibly Ken had a literal and figurative Come to jesus with her--and she saw her lifestyle dying on the vine and submitted. She projects the worst possible marriages on anyone who does't follow the Marriage Book of Ken and lori and describes crap I've never seen. I think she now blogs to get her desire to "be right" out, since she has to eat whatever Ken feeds her, apparently.

[Mela99]

I think she might officially be the most offensive and obnoxious of all the fundie women, especially after the suffrage shit.

[louisa05]

This is all based on some imaginary past utopia. Reality is that there was a very short period when it was attainable for middle class families to have one spouse at home full time--in general for the U.S., the post WW2 period into the mid-1970s. For most of history, that has been a privilege of only the upper classes. Lower class women have always had to work and when the middle class emerged, it was based on family oriented trades where the entire family worked including the wives. The late medieval Mr. Baker didn't work away by himself while Mrs. Baker sat in the family quarters and made doilies and decorated the table. They both worked hard to make their business survive and so did their children.

[sparkles]

Does this idiot ever. shut. up?

[lilwriter85]

I think she might officially be the most offensive and obnoxious of all the fundie women, especially after the suffrage shit.

For awhile, I found have her to be one of the more offensive and obnoxious fundie bloggers. She annoys me more than Zsu and Kelly C. Lori is up there with the Stinking Louswife. Lori started to really piss me off when did a posting where she compared Nazism to universal healthcare.

[Katiebug]

Every one of us knows happy, fulfilled women with jobs outside the home, and happy, fulfilled SAHMs. We also know bitter, miserable women with jobs outside the home, and bitter, miserable SAHMs.

So true. I'm a working mom out of both choice and necessity and am happy with my choices. I would like to be able to work part time (or have my husband work part time) when our kids are older and in school, but for now this is how it is. Sure, in theory I could do what nutjob Lori suggests and quit to be a domestic goddess, leaving the family to get by on my husband's income alone. It's just that I'm the bigger breadwinner - so in the process we'd lose our house to foreclosure, we would have no or poor quality health insurance for our family, we'd be living in a small apartment in a questionable neighborhood with two young children, and I'd be shopping at the discount food outlet for rice and beans. Doesn't sound like a great way to raise kids, not when with two of us working we can provide a comfortable (but not ostentatious) lifestyle and everything our kids need and some of what they (and we) want.

The whole post-WWII, Leave It To Beaver image of the suburban housewife was only a reality for a short period of time and for a relatively small percentage of the populace. "The Way We Never Were" by Stephanie Coontz explores the facts and the idealization of that lifestyle at length. My paternal grandparents had their children in the late 40s and early 50s, and as the wife of a white collar professional man (a veteran) my grandmother did not work outside the home when the children were young. They had that idealized suburban existence - and then when the youngest child was in school after a few years, she found herself bored being at home all day and found a part time job as a medical receptionist. She worked part time until my grandfather retired. They didn't NEED the money, but it was something she wanted to do. She was not at all uncommon for women of that generation and socioeconomic status.

[Closed Womb]

Huh, I'm happy and (sometimes) right. Mr. Womb is happy and (sometimes) right. Neither of us is unhappy when it turns out we are wrong.

That's the way the adults do it, dear Lori.

[GeoBQn]

This makes me think of a King of the Hill episode where Peggy contemplates quitting her substitute teaching job to be a SAHM. As a conservative, Hank is very excited by the idea and he tells her that his mother loved it ("She made the home stronger every day until the divorce!"). Peggy then quits her job, only to discover that she is board to tears without some outside activity. Late in the episode, Hank is on the phone with his mother talking about Peggy's difficulties.

Hank: You stayed at home taking care of me, and let's be honest, you loved every second of it.

Mother: That's not true at all. I took every odd job I could just to get out of the house. Don't you remember the year when I drove a taxi?

Hank: No. Wait, I remember you had a yellow car . . .

[Conuly]

My grandmother, who was a young mother in the 50s and 60s and did have that life* does report that she dôesnt remember being unhappy or anything then.

She was also on Valium. And, frankly, having just survived the Second World War, was primed to be happy with anything.

* sorta. The way she ran her house was that HE earned the money and SHE chose how it was spent because HER job was the house and HE didn't need running around cash. No micromanaging or submission for them!

[RachelB]

Translation: Lori isn't happy. And who would be with her asshole of a husband?

I wish she could admit that. Many parts of her life could be easily changed for the better if only she cared about her own happiness more. I bet that she would have a lot more generosity of spirit toward the rest of the world if she weren't trying so hard to be content while being married to an asshole.

[docmom]

I think, with the help of Miggy and ThrK on another thread, I have finally figured out why Lori is the way she is (a monster). Jesus commanded people to love others as you love yourself, right? Do unto others... And Lori is nothing if not a religious fundamentalist. Lori hates her life- so everyone else should, too! Lori doesn't like women working so women shouldn't work. Lori likes to hit children, so everyone else should hit children too! It's warped but I think I understand it!

[2xx1xy1JD]

It sounds like Lori has always been a bitch on wheels, and has made every relationship hell for herself and those in in (spouse, children, etc) and possibly Ken had a literal and figurative Come to jesus with her--and she saw her lifestyle dying on the vine and submitted. She projects the worst possible marriages on anyone who does't follow the Marriage Book of Ken and lori and describes crap I've never seen. I think she now blogs to get her desire to "be right" out, since she has to eat whatever Ken feeds her, apparently.

Yes. She's still miss Bossy Pants, but takes it out on younger women and children instead of Ken.

[chaotic life]

The vapors? Wow, she is certainly stuck in a different era, isn't she?

At the turn of the last century, women who admitted to being unhappy and dissatisfied with their lives were given few options, but all were psychiatric in nature. Wealthy women were frequently sequestered in the country to be cured of their malady. They were also often subjected to masturbation sessions by their doctors as forcing orgasms was believed to cure them of the histrionics of being bored or unhappy. Less wealthy women simply didn't have time to consider what happiness was. I would suggest she read some of the stories Margaret Sanger detailed about the urban poor and what "happiness" meant to them, but she would be horrified to have it pointed out that Sanger was anything but a Eugenics monster. Urban poor didn't have a concept of happiness as something that actually existed and was attainable. To suggest they were unhappy versus happy is a ridiculous concept in the first place.

[Minerva]

Or we have option #3: Mature men who don't have a NEED to always be right, and are capable of having an adult relationship with mutual respect.

Exactly. Fundy men are allowed, if not expected, to have the attitude of spoiled children. They're also expected to be the heads of their households. It doesn't end well, as Lori's bitterness proves.

[desertvixen]

Translation: Lori isn't happy. And who would be with her asshole of a husband?

This. So instead of doing something that might make her happy, she does what someone tells her she should do, and can't stand the whole sight of the rest of us out here being...ourselves.

[Mrs Ms]

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/06/are-women-happier-today.html

So close Lori, so close!

Man, even SHE recognizes that we are all unique with different skills and abilities and that is is sad that we have forgotten this solid evidence and tried to make everyone the same. Which is why ALL women MUST be SAHM non-voting helpmeets!

???????????????? :wtf:

[fundiefan]

When I was married I was among the least happy people on the planet.

Now that I am no longer married, I have more happiness and contentment than I've ever had.

I hope she isn't promoting marriage for all (*choke*) since that is exactly what made me a miserable, angry bitch.

[curlytoes79]

As much as she chides other women about this, Looni is a textbook case of wanting to be right rather than happy. She clings like death to some 2,000-year-old advice from Bronze-Age misogynists, whether it makes her happy or miserable, because if she gives it up, it's like admitting that she's wrong about the "word of God" (or at least, her interpretation of it is wrong).

[Carla Bruni]

Funny, my mom was a SAHM for 6 years while re-doing all her certifications for the US and was completely miserable. I don't ever remember her being happy or joyful or excited during that time period. The moment she went back to work, she became a totally different person, but I later chalked it up to having divorced my dad and found freedom. This theory held up until she took another year-and-a-half hiatus from work a couple years ago, this time having to re-do all her certifications to move *back*, and during that time period, she was absolutely miserable again, constantly freaking out/crying over every little thing, taking everything incredibly close to heart, and she was very difficult to talk to. She finally finished all her stuff and went back to work a couple months ago - it's like someone replaced her with an Energizer bunny, every conversation we have is about "omg and then at work and then and then and so I also did this and that and the other thing and it's amazing and let's do this and let's go on this trip and I want to go here and life is amazing and then I went to a concert and then I saw this on Facebook and and and and and". Interestingly enough, my stepdad has lost exactly 0 lbs since she went back to work because she continues to bake him pies and meatloaf and what have you every day. So yeah, still keeping the house running while working and still happy. So bizarre :roll: