A fat person dared to get in my pro-life picture

[Curious]

Laura wrote an "I was wrong" post, that starts off sounding good, but then ends up just like all of her other "apology" posts, being all "they were mean to me!" She really, really doesn't get the concept of making an apology.

First of all Laura, when you spend the whole time calling the people who pointed out how rude you are "haters" it doesn't make it look like you actually feel bad about what you said. Secondly, you sould probably mention that you joined, enjoyed, and actively participated in this "hating" when it came to people you didn't like. That you went far enough in this "hate" that you actually brought your exfriend's blog here AND offered to provide links to other blogs of people you know so they can be snarked on. You are still trying to cover up how bad you actually were here.

I've said "sorry" I don't know how many times about a situation and it never seems enough.

Judging from your "sorry" here, if this is with your poor exfriend that you lied to, you probably haven't actually said you were sorry.

Or how about when someone just hates on you? I was recently hated on for my looks.

The cruel comments about your looks were wrong and most people here agreed with that, but why not be honest and say that it all started because you mocked someone else's looks? Why hide that? If you were truly sorry you would be honest. Honesty, Laura, work on it.

Though the comments stemmed from my own mistake that I've now apologized for(and got judged for, I might add), it hurt. I found the balance in the situation, apologized, and I still got hated on for it.

It wasn't a mistake. You didn't accidently write that. You meant it. You never apologized. Stop lying. You made it look like you apologized without actually doing it. Really, work on being honest, to yourself and others.

So I cried out to God for wisdom, humbly apologized, and looked onward and upward. It was hard, in a way, because I knew the haters would continue to hate.

Oh honey, if you think your posts here were humble you don't understand the slightest thing about humility. You never humbled yourself, you never said you were wrong, you never said you were sorry. You deflected blame in every, single apology post. With a real apology, people would probably forget about you.

She does admit that she lied to a friend and says some vague things about acting "divisive" after the friend didn't want to be friends with her anymore. She doesn't mention that she came here to trash her friend. Don't think she is that humble yet. But then she goes back to blaming her friend for not forgiving her by saying:

If they don't want to give something that is between them and God.

and

But when a slumbering sister has woken up, embrace her. Give her wrong to admit she was wrong and be able to admit that you were wrong.

I don't think she wants to admit to herself how bad she acted not only here but to her friend and the guy in that picture because if she did, she would have to admit that she is worse than us "haters".

Has she changed the caption on the picture yet?

[formergothardite]

I can't find that post now, but last time that happened she just changed the location of the post so it would be harder to find.

[salex]

Laura wrote an "I was wrong" post, that starts off sounding good, but then ends up just like all of her other "apology" posts, being all "they were mean to me!" She really, really doesn't get the concept of making an apology.

First of all Laura, when you spend the whole time calling the people who pointed out how rude you are "haters" it doesn't make it look like you actually feel bad about what you said. Secondly, you sould probably mention that you joined, enjoyed, and actively participated in this "hating" when it came to people you didn't like. That you went far enough in this "hate" that you actually brought your exfriend's blog here AND offered to provide links to other blogs of people you know so they can be snarked on. You are still trying to cover up how bad you actually were here.

I've said "sorry" I don't know how many times about a situation and it never seems enough.

Judging from your "sorry" here, if this is with your poor exfriend that you lied to, you probably haven't actually said you were sorry.

Or how about when someone just hates on you? I was recently hated on for my looks.

The cruel comments about your looks were wrong and most people here agreed with that, but why not be honest and say that it all started because you mocked someone else's looks? Why hide that? If you were truly sorry you would be honest. Honesty, Laura, work on it.

Though the comments stemmed from my own mistake that I've now apologized for(and got judged for, I might add), it hurt. I found the balance in the situation, apologized, and I still got hated on for it.

It wasn't a mistake. You didn't accidently write that. You meant it. You never apologized. Stop lying. You made it look like you apologized without actually doing it. Really, work on being honest, to yourself and others.

So I cried out to God for wisdom, humbly apologized, and looked onward and upward. It was hard, in a way, because I knew the haters would continue to hate.

Oh honey, if you think your posts here were humble you don't understand the slightest thing about humility. You never humbled yourself, you never said you were wrong, you never said you were sorry. You deflected blame in every, single apology post. With a real apology, people would probably forget about you.

She does admit that she lied to a friend and says some vague things about acting "divisive" after the friend didn't want to be friends with her anymore. She doesn't mention that she came here to trash her friend. Don't think she is that humble yet. But then she goes back to blaming her friend for not forgiving her by saying:

If they don't want to give something that is between them and God.

and

But when a slumbering sister has woken up, embrace her. Give her wrong to admit she was wrong and be able to admit that you were wrong.

I don't think she wants to admit to herself how bad she acted not only here but to her friend and the guy in that picture because if she did, she would have to admit that she is worse than us "haters".

Apparently, people who point our the log in one's eye are "haters". I suspect most / all of us here would have to care more about her to work our way up to hate.

I love that people who point out the errors of her ways are "haters" without noticing that basically, this thread about her quit referring to her in any meaningful way pages ago and moved on to the philosophy of weight, staring, and other larger questions than if this particular fundie can be saved (as it were, lol)

I suspect she popped back in, saw she was not the topic of conversation and tried to direct the topic back to her holy and misunderstood self.

[dawbs]

Well, is some of us poking at smuggar the same as people saying things in public where the person actually is and giving them disapproving looks for just being in public?

I agree it likely happens more to women and for less amounts of weight though. So far the only examples of it happening to men have been from pictures on the net, vs examples in real life like the women have given. I'm sure it probably exists, we just hadn't really discussed it much.

I don't think it's possible to separate out.

I think the best-intention-ed people can participate in fat-shaming smuggar, believe that they can "turn off" that reaction in public, and go about their day....

And I believe that their subconscious is going to be more apt to fat-shame in the small, subtle ways that we all do, than they would otherwise.

(the same way that I think that someone who defaults to using a racist word to express anger, in private, has cemented the stereotype of "that type of person" a little deeper into his or her psyche and soul) .

But I would actually bet they get less overt shaming.

Men don't usually get women walking up to them, ordering them to 'smile' the way women do--the patriarchy deems that women should be decorative (so thin and happy) and men are allowed to be surly.. Men are 'allowed' to have worth while being "fat slobs".

[mockingbird]

I've noticed with women, it seems like if you are overweight *at all* you are treated differently and expected to slim down, but with men it's acceptable to be a little more "chunky", have a "rugby" or "football" build, or have a slight "beer belly". I've known men and women with the same body composition and the woman gets criticism or feels she is fat, while the men wouldn't even be considered fat. I have heard fat shaming about men, but I feel like there's a higher threshold at which people will start saying something (they are usually obese men), while with women if you are even the slightest bit overweight most women I know would at least start to *feel* fat.

[kpmom]

I've noticed with women, it seems like if you are overweight *at all* you are treated differently and expected to slim down, but with men it's acceptable to be a little more "chunky", have a "rugby" or "football" build, or have a slight "beer belly". I've known men and women with the same body composition and the woman gets criticism or feels she is fat, while the men wouldn't even be considered fat. I have heard fat shaming about men, but I feel like there's a higher threshold at which people will start saying something (they are usually obese men), while with women if you are even the slightest bit overweight most women I know would at least start to *feel* fat.

ITA It is much worse on women.

I'm thinking of a couple of shows on tv awhile back, King of Queens, and the one with Jim Belushi (don't recall the name).

To quote a line from Will and Grace, "Fat husband skinny wife shows."

Would those shows have been on the air if it was the other way around?

[formergothardite]

I was just thinking of all the fat husband skinny wife shows/movies.

[SpeshulTaterTot]

I was at the pool last week and a huge guy with his skinny girlfriend came in. Yeah, people looked, but not as much as they would have had the woman been fat and the man skinny. The best part was when the fat guy gave me, the fat woman, a disgusted look. That's something I've noticed - Fat guys are a lot faster at judging a fat woman than a woman would ever be. Speaking for myself here, but when a large woman comes to the pool, yeah, I will ask my best friend if that's my size. Because I honestly don't know what I look like, I have a totally fucked up body image. Would I ever give another large woman a disgusted look or make some snide remark at the pool or gym? Hell no! I know how hard it was for me to get back into working out because of those looks, I would never ever make it as hard for another person.

I think what I'm trying to say is, men get fat shamed, too, but not nearly as much as women. Because as women, it is our duty to look pretty and hot. Obviously. :roll:

[thoughtful]

I suspect she popped back in, saw she was not the topic of conversation and tried to direct the topic back to her holy and misunderstood self.

Very likely.

And formergothardite, thanks for taking one for the team and reading her gushing river of defensiveness.

[clarinetpower]

I agree. I get the feeling she is working hard to get some kind of notice/response in the pictures both by her dress and her facial expressions. A couple of the pictures, the only person who was likely looking at her was someone who would walk into her otherwise. It feels like an attempt at performance art. Note, I've been heavy my entire adult life, and have had strangers (usually men) make serious comments on it throughout my younger years (I'm older now, so I'm guessing men dismiss me for my age, now, instead of my weight. PLus society as a whole is fatter, and suddenly I'm more mainstream.)

I agree, too. Having lived in a big, foreign (to me) city, and having to learn a whole new way of being/fitting in/respecting the culture, I found that many things there didn't mean what I (in my Midwestern small city American mindset) thought they did. It took a while to start to understand, but once I did, I found people to be very decent, overall. There are assholes everywhere you go, yes, but you don't make them better people by being an asshole yourself.

I saw the cops as doing a lighthearted gesture having nothing at all to do with mocking her. They were just being playful. The sneering guy could have easily been sneering about his own lame posing. The pajama girl was likely having a conversation. Many people could be wondering why she was taking these, or if she knew they were being taken. The gelato one looked as if the girl at the pole was far away (in the way you do when in a big city and it's crowded, you go somewhere in your head as self protection) and the other lady was watching traffic.

I think this woman thinks about herself a lot. Pretty normal, but to make a big artistic deal over it as if you are the victim all the time (when you probably aren't for most of it) is incredibly self centered.

Most of the time, people around you are thinking about themselves, just like you are.

[Maggie Mae]

Very likely.

And formergothardite, thanks for taking one for the team and reading her gushing river of defensiveness.

Yeah, I couldn't make it through the entire post. Thanks!

[Guest Anonymous]

Has the "I was wrong" post disappeared? I can't see it anymore.

[formergothardite]

It does look like she has taken it down already. Maybe somebody in her life pointed out that what she was really saying in that post was "I was wrong, but not really that wrong, plus everyone else is more wrong than me." and she pulled it.

[littlemommy]

Me either! I was looking forward to it, even saving my grasshopper brownie to savor while I read. No worries, I still ate the brownie.

[salex]

ITA It is much worse on women.

I'm thinking of a couple of shows on tv awhile back, King of Queens, and the one with Jim Belushi (don't recall the name).

To quote a line from Will and Grace, "Fat husband skinny wife shows."

Would those shows have been on the air if it was the other way around?

Early on, on The King of Queens, there was going to be an episode where the wife was supposed to be losing weight, while no mention of the husband's girth was to be mentioned. I believe it was killed, because the wife was not remotely fat, and the husband was and a few people complained loudly enough that they let it go.

[formergothardite]

Me either! I was looking forward to it, even saving my grasshopper brownie to savor while I read. No worries, I still ate the brownie.

I really didn't expect her to pull it. What is the point of writing a post like that if you only leave it up for an hour or so? She did at least admit that she lied to her friend, so I hope her loyal followers read that and paused to wonder what else she might be lying about.

[Maggie Mae]

Me either! I was looking forward to it, even saving my grasshopper brownie to savor while I read. No worries, I still ate the brownie.

OT: What on earth is a grasshopper brownie? Is it what I think it is? Where do they sell grasshoppers? Does it add anything to the chocolate except some crunch?

[ladyamylynn]

OT: What on earth is a grasshopper brownie? Is it what I think it is? Where do they sell grasshoppers? Does it add anything to the chocolate except some crunch?

Haha, grasshopper brownies are chocolate mint, named after the drink. Something like this: http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/ ... res-233300

[formergothardite]

When I read this article today:

http://news.yahoo.com/apnewsbreak-repor ... 04775.html

I couldn't help but think of Miss Laura and all the money she is spending to send herself over there to just do things like file papers and teach a Bible study. How many children could she feed with that $6000 if she sent it to the right organization? Yes, if she did that it could mean that a Muslim or a ~gasp~ Catholic would be giving children food and medical care, but wouldn't she be making a bigger difference in the lives of African children if she did that? If she was going over there to do something useful, it would be different, but she isn't. She isn't doing anything other than taking a long vacation.

[MyName]

I was just thinking of all the fat husband skinny wife shows/movies.

Yeah, it is a lot.

[Maggie Mae]

Haha, grasshopper brownies are chocolate mint, named after the drink. Something like this: http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/ ... res-233300

Oh! Thanks. That sounds delicious!

[littlemommy]

It was!

[alba]

ITA It is much worse on women.

I'm thinking of a couple of shows on tv awhile back, King of Queens, and the one with Jim Belushi (don't recall the name).

To quote a line from Will and Grace, "Fat husband skinny wife shows."

Would those shows have been on the air if it was the other way around?

I've heard this phenomenon referred to as the "ugly husband, hot wife" pairing, which is pretty similar, and both centre around the male gaze. The husband may or may not be fat, but the wife will be thin and beautiful, because what's the point in a woman if she isn't?

[CynicMom]

It reminds me of harem anime. A guy who is portrayed as a total loser gets tons of hot girls fighting for his love in a way that is SOOO bothersome. It'd be nice if there was a female equivalent in the USA.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

I'm in a fat guy-skinny girl relationship. Generally people assume that I'm with him due to some ulterior motive, because a thin woman cannot POSSIBLY find a big guy attractive. :roll: