A fat person dared to get in my pro-life picture

[dairyfreelife]

I said it's wrong to stare. Or at least I meant to say that. But I don't think that she is correct by claiming that the people who are looking at her (I can't tell from the photos if someone is staring or not) solely because she is larger than average.

But the way I'm reading this blog is that she doesn't want anyone to even look at her, or notice her. Yet, she dresses in a manner that is going to get attention.

Sorry, you are in public, and you will be seen. Her outfit draws more attention to her than, say, the woman next to her with the solid green shirt and black shorts, and sandals.

I just don't know what the fuck she wants - people will treat each other differently based on appearance. People nit pick each other for stupid stuff. Is it right? Not really. Is it hurtful? Yes. But her photo essay doesn't change my mind that she is an attention seeking person who is very self centered. I get that she feels great about her body. I like that she is confident enough to rock the hair and not care. But I do not understand why anyone would deliberately make herself so flamboyant and then complain when people look at her.

I actually agree with you. It is wrong to stare. I did not realize she was even eating until she said she was. What I noticed was her bright pink hair, black shirt with white polka dots, purple leggings, yellow socks and two different color pink converse shoes. Especially when seen with everyone else around her not wearing anything close. Her outfit, not her weight was what caught my attention and prbably would have caught it the same as I walked by and she would have snapped a picture and claimed I was staring at her (when it was a glance most likely) and because I am not overweight would be labeled.

I do think there are issues with fat shaming, no doubt, but in these images so far they all seem to be drawing undue attention to themselves by their odd clothing style or behavior that there's no way for me to draw a conclusion. I would like to see real pictures that show people looking at them while they are dressed in a style that matches most people and the local climate and are not standing out, like sitting on a bench reading in a park or taking a walk or something to that effect.

[jenny_islander]

So because Sleepydumpling was dressed however the hell she wanted with her hair how she liked--you know, like everybody else on the street--she deserved to have the guy in the white hoodie openly laugh at her, and his girlfriend in the black tee side-eye her contemptuously? Or the old man in the short-sleeved plaid button-down glare at her like she was doing something nasty? Did she deserve to have that dude in the pinstripe shirt and the shades look at her in disgust for eating in public just like anyone else?

I was in my own yard, barefoot, in a comfortable pastel-colored long skirt and tee shirt when some jackass slowed down on the road to holler, "Soooeee! Pigpigpigpig!" Was I behaving inappropriately? Attempting to draw attention to myself? Should I not be in my own front yard because I'm fat? Should I perhaps have worn all black and covered every part of my body below the neck, because I'm OH MY GOD FAT? Or stayed in the back yard, where bigots and neurotic weirdos wouldn't have to see me? Was I existing too much?

I have gotten the exact same look as in the last picture from somebody sitting at a nearby table in Subway. Along with a repulsive comment. Because I was eating, and my sandwich fell apart in my hands.

I have had any number of pigs feel free to suck their teeth at me because I dared to shop, walk, read in the library, etc., while not having a body that they found sexually desirable.

It doesn't matter how I look. I can be in my church clothes. My work clothes. My mom clothes. I can be in whatever the hell is clean because everybody's sick at home and I'm running on four hours of sleep. I can be bundled up in a gigantic baggy parka or coatless. Hair done up all fancy or barely brushed. It always happens. I always draw attention to myself--BECAUSE I DARE TO EXIST IN PUBLIC WHILE FAT.

I used to try hard to be socially acceptably thin. Then I started to read the fine print. I started to look at how many dieters actually succeed at looking smaller. (A percentile number, in the single digits.) I looked at what happens to the ones who don't. (Answer: They end up fatter.) I looked at the long-term effects of being fat. (Not nearly as dire as the news cycle would tell you.) I looked at the way the whole fat fear epidemic got rolling, with the definition of obesity broadened so far that even a winning college rowing team is now obese. I looked at how stories about this so-called epidemic are always illustrated, not with photos of college rowers or ordinary people who are no longer super-active teens--yes, you, if you fit into this category, you're obese too--but with people my size or bigger, generally poorly clothed and shot unawares, and with their heads cut off. I looked at the new bullying, by adults, of children who are mostly undergoing the completely natural growth cycle: first fill out, then shoot up, then fill out again. The latest salvo of insanity has been the gutting of the USDA school meal program, so that now it can no longer fill its original function, getting kids comfortably full so that they can concentrate on schoolwork--because the national neurosis decrees that the children must be half-starved so they won't get fat.

And I decided: I will not be sorry for existing. I will not let this new version of phrenology define my life. I will not lie down on the bed of Procrustes.

I eat cookies in public now. Procrustes can go fuck himself.

[Shasta ODonegal]

Jenny, so much word. Brava! :clap:

[thoughtful]

I see two separate issues here - whether people believe that fat-shaming goes on, and whether these two sets of pictures actually make that clear.

People who stare, mock or look daggers at others for being what they deem "visually unacceptable" certainly happens. It is rude, obnoxious, and, while it can be brushed off by very confident people, it can be devastating to others.

Being fat is one of the things that these rude people will notice and mock, and I think it's safe to say that it happens more for a fat person than, say, a disabled person. We are taught not to stare at someone for something they can't help, but being fat (or heavily tattooed, or dressed differently, etc.) seems to still be in a "you chose that, so I can mock you" category for assholes.

I support these women in what they are trying to do. I don't think either of these photo essays do the trick of capturing it very well, though. Of course I believe that both of these women get fat-shaming crap when they are doing nothing else that is unusual -- I've seen it IRL, I know how nasty it can be. When I was young, I used to joke that I could tell you the exact weight difference between my getting assholes driving by yelling how they wanted to fuck me, and assholes driving by yelling how I was too fat for them. :roll: Now that I'm an old lady, I guess I'm just invisible to assholes driving by! :D

And a few of those photos certainly do appear to be people reacting only to the subject's appearance.

But being in the way, setting up a tripod and walking away from it, having bright hair and clothes, etc., are going to at least attract a "my eye needs to check that again" glance, which, if caught on camera, could look like disgust or mockery, especially if it was very quick, or the person already had that expression on their face.

A still photo only captures a split second, and I think that leaves things too open to interpretation to tell their story. The photographer may have seen much more, and the shaming may have been clear to him or her, but we only see that split second.

What they need, to make a point that I do believe needs to be made to the general public, is video. Even a few seconds of someone clearly reacting to that person, and not just being caught with an itch or a squint, would be much clearer.

And, setting up among people who dress pretty much the way they are dressed would also make it clear that it is about being fat. If most people around are in conservative business dress, or bright fun colors, or in bathing suits, and so is the person trying to capture the unpleasant reactions of bigots, it might be clearer. Catching disapproving looks from people who are dressed like the subject, about the same age, etc. could isolate the fact that it is their being fat that is being mocked.

I also accept that getting disapproving looks for being a fat person who doesn't hide in dark voluminous clothes is part of the point. But having at least some video where the brightness issue simply doesn't enter into it might round things out, and leave doubters no "it's not because you're fat, it's because you are dressed a certain way" out.

I don't need to be convinced -- I get it. But I think there is a better way to show it. Because these two particular sets of photos are open to other interpretations, I think it may do their cause more harm than good.

Because of that, I'm also not assuming that everyone here who has said "these pictures don't do it for me" is necessarily saying "I'm denying that fat-shaming from strangers exists." They can speak for themselves, but, to me, the fact that these sets of photos may not be persuasive is a separate issue.

edited for clarity

[dairyfreelife]

I see two separate issues here - whether people believe that fat-shaming goes on, and whether these two sets of pictures actually make that clear.

People who stare, mock or look daggers at others for being what they deem "visually unacceptable" certainly happens. It is rude, obnoxious, and, while it can be brushed off by very confident people, it can be devastating to others.

Being fat is one of the things that these rude people will notice and mock, and I think it's safe to say that it happens more for a fat person than, say, a disabled person. We are taught not to stare at someone for something they can't help, but being fat (or heavily tattooed, or dressed differently, etc.) seems to still be in a "you chose that, so I can mock you" category for assholes.

I support these women in what they are trying to do. I don't think either of these photo essays do the trick of capturing it very well, though. Of course I believe that both of these women get fat-shaming crap when they are doing nothing else that is unusual -- I've seen it IRL, I know how nasty it can be. When I was young, I used to joke that I could tell you the exact weight difference between my getting assholes driving by yelling how they wanted to fuck me, and assholes driving by yelling how I was too fat for them. :roll: Now that I'm an old lady, I guess I'm just invisible to assholes driving by! :D

And a few of those photos certainly do appear to be people reacting only to the subject's appearance.

But being in the way, setting up a tripod and walking away from it, having bright hair and clothes, etc., are going to at least attract a "my eye needs to check that again" glance, which, if caught on camera, could look like disgust or mockery, especially if it was very quick, or the person already had that expression on their face. A still photo only captures a split second, and I think that leaves things too open to interpretation to tell their story.

What they need, to make a point that I do believe needs to be made to the general public, is video. Even a few seconds of someone clearly reacting to that person, and not just being caught with an itch or a squint, would be much clearer.

And, setting up among people who dress pretty much the way they are dressed would also make it clear that it is about being fat. If most people around are in conservative business dress, or bright fun colors, or in bathing suits, and so is the person trying to capture the unpleasant reactions of bigots, it might be clearer.

I also accept that getting disapproving looks for being a fat person who doesn't hide in dark voluminous clothes is part of the point. But having at least some video where the brightness issue simply doesn't enter into it might round things out, and leave doubters no "it's not because you're fat, it's because you are dressed a certain way" out.

I don't need to be convinced -- I get it. But I think there is a better way to show it. Because these two particular sets of photos are open to other interpretations, I think it may do their cause more harm than good.

Because of that, I'm also not assuming that everyone here who has said "these pictures don't do it for me" is necessarily saying "I'm denying that fat-shaming from strangers exists." They can speak for themselves, but, to me, the fact that these sets of photos may not be persuasive is a separate issue.

edited for clarity

You said it. No, no one ever deserves to be laughed at or stared at. I know that fat-shaming exists. I have seen it. The pictures just don't do a good job showing real fat-shaming to me.

[LucySnowe]

And, setting up among people who dress pretty much the way they are dressed would also make it clear that it is about being fat. If most people around are in conservative business dress, or bright fun colors, or in bathing suits, and so is the person trying to capture the unpleasant reactions of bigots, it might be clearer. Catching disapproving looks from people who are dressed like the subject, about the same age, etc. could isolate the fact that it is their being fat that is being mocked.

I agree. I think in a sense it's like setting up an experiment. Right now, there are too many variables: it is possible that the person is being looked at in a critical manner because they are overweight, but it could also be because they are behaving/dressing/adorning themselves in a way that would be likely to draw negative attention regardless of their size. I don't see enough information here to be convinced that these pictures depict a negative attitude towards people who are overweight. (I do believe this happens; I just don't agree with the interpretation of the photographers that it is happening in these particular instances.)

I'd be interested in seeing a situation where there are more controls, so that the weight issue is isolated.

[Minerva]

Looking at the Wait Watchers pictures, I don't find her facial expression to be unusually sad or anything. I think it's just that blank look that we get when we're waiting for the bus, or walking alone, or watching TV. The absence of a smile. Some people's neutral faces look sad. I found out mine does a couple years ago when some douchenozzle asked me why I looked so sad and told me to smile. It's happened a couple times since that. I'm not going to force my face into a smile every waking moment for the benefit of strangers.

[alba]

Thoughtful, you said what I've been struggling to put into words, so thank you.

I do believe this happens; I just don't agree with the interpretation of the photographers that it is happening in these particular instances.

QFT. I'm convinced that fat-shaming exists and that these women experience it on a regular basis, but roughly half the facial expressions in those photo essays just looked neutral to me, like the faces of people glancing in that direction or, in the case of the second one, doing a double-take because of the bright colours she's wearing (and I don't mean in a "fat people shouldn't wear those colours" way, just a neutral "hey, those are unusual colours"). I'm willing to admit that these apparently neutral expressions might have looked very different in real life from the perspectives of the women in question - I wasn't there, so I can't judge what actually happened, only the photographic evidence - but the fact that they don't come across as such in the pictures means that the photos themselves aren't doing their job of displaying everyday fat-shaming, and by calling them such they risk harming their cause. People who already acknowledge that fat-shaming exists might agree with their assessment, but people who are unconvinced will accuse them of overreacting or of putting thoughts in people's heads. [ETA] I opened these essays with the expectation of having what I already believe confirmed, but instead I felt disappointed and unconvinced. If that's the response of someone who already believes fat-shaming occurs, then I just don't see how these pictures are going to convince people who don't know it's a problem. [/ETA]

What none of this changes, however, is that for these women to assume fat-shaming they've undoubtedly experienced it frequently, and whether or not the pictures show it doesn't change the fact that it happens to them.

[Curious]

Thoughtful, put my thoughts into words much better than I've been trying to.

I also thought of another variable for myself, besides the wheelchair. I am never in public by myself. My husband is always with me, so people are probably less likely to be vocal about my weight since I'm with a male companion.

Though, I think the woman from Fat Heffalump said she still gets comments even when she is in a group of friends, so maybe it is just the wheelchair.

This is an interesting discussion for me (aside from the general fat-shaming topic) because I find people have NO qualms touching my wheelchair in instances where you would not touch a person. People also tend to think because I'm in a wheelchair, I am unable to hear and talk ;)

How humans treat others they view as different, in every day situations, is somewhat a fascinating topic really.

Jenny_islander have you read the book: Overdiagnosed: Making People Sick in the Pursuit of Health I checked it out from the library, but haven't started it yet.

[DefraudedByPlaid]

I'm still confused how he's a "photobomber"-aren't they the ones who *deliberately* try to ruin someone's pic? "random dude looking at the camera bc WEEEEEIRD people tend to notice a camera!" doesn't really qualify for me.

I think "photobombers" used to mean deliberately inserting yourself into a picture, but in some of the memes floating around lately it's also come to mean situations when this happens accidentally. There are entire online photo lists of funny photobombing moments (e.g. animals "photobombing" each other or people; I've also seen one with a photo of a girl in the foreground and in the background looking in another direction is a man in a Speedo who is clearly, shall we say, excited, but does not seem to know he's in the photo).

It's clear that the gentleman in the blogger's photo was not intentionally getting into the picture, but if she had simply turned the caption into a lighthearted joke (not feeling very creative today, but something punny or witty like what George Takei might come up with on Facebook), it could have been fine. She could have put in quotes something funny that he "might" have been thinking, nothing mean-spirited but simply humorous, with bonus points if the joke was something self-deprecating about herself. Missed opportunity to portray the idea that she doesn't take herself too seriously - and I'm the type of person who tends to take people MORE seriously when they show that they can truly, intelligently, appreciate the absurdity/humor in the world (without resorting to cruelty towards others).

I hope this gentleman never has to see the photo in question.

[mockingbird]

I agree with Thoughtful, and with LucySnowe that there are a lot of variables going on. FTR, I don't think someone who dresses differently (or does anything different) deserves stares, but just that it could be what people are looking at.

I definitely believe fat-shaming exists. One of my friends recently lost about fifty pounds and she said she notices a huge difference in how people treat her now. She's a teacher and even had parents at an open house telling her about another "chubby" teacher their kid had previously... it was her. My friend was overweight, but not obese so I am sure it is worse for people who weigh more than she did. I get plenty of attention for being short (like the lollipop incident on another thread) so I have no doubt other people get attention for being overweight, or whatever is different about them.

I used a wheelchair for awhile after I had foot surgery in middle school, and though I can't compare to what it's like for someone who uses a wheelchair on a regular basis, I don't remember *tons* of stares either. Mostly from little kids. For the most part people just ignored me more than they did before and after I used the wheelchair. My homeroom teacher decided she was in charge of my wheelchair and wouldn't let me do anything on my own for awhile, which was annoying.

[Curious]

Does fat-shaming happen to men as well on a large scale...like the public comments and looks? We haven't talked about it and we have 2 women that have blogged about it. It just dawned on me that it has not come up, other than in the context of the photo. I had a male friend that is around 600 pounds and he never mentioned anything to me, but I also never asked specifically about it.

[Boogalou]

Does fat-shaming happen to men as well on a large scale...like the public comments and looks? We haven't talked about it and we have 2 women that have blogged about it. It just dawned on me that it has not come up, other than in the context of the photo. I had a male friend that is around 600 pounds and he never mentioned anything to me, but I also never asked specifically about it.

If Josh Duggar's instagram thread parts one though 8 is any indication I would imagine that fat shaming happens to men as well as women. Although I would imagine it happens to women much more often, on a larger scale, and for less amounts of weight.

[Curious]

If Josh Duggar's instagram thread parts one though 8 is any indication I would imagine that fat shaming happens to men as well as women. Although I would imagine it happens to women much more often, on a larger scale, and for less amounts of weight.

Well, is some of us poking at smuggar the same as people saying things in public where the person actually is and giving them disapproving looks for just being in public?

I agree it likely happens more to women and for less amounts of weight though. So far the only examples of it happening to men have been from pictures on the net, vs examples in real life like the women have given. I'm sure it probably exists, we just hadn't really discussed it much.

[kb2]

I bet fat-shaming men happens quite a bit, but people are more willing to be confrontational to women. So I bet men get an equal number of looks but fewer direct comments regarding their eating in public or whatnot.

[Jinger Jar]

I know fat shaming exists because at 5'10" and 330 lbs., I've been dealt my share of it. Everyone from taxi drivers who've complained that I've costed them more gas, to the psychologist who informed me during our first session that the reason I was depressed and anxious was because I hated my body but didn't know it ( :roll: ), to my mother, who told me at 19 that I would never get a decent job or marry if I didn't lose weight, I've been slung enough fat shaming to know it when I see it.

That said, I'm with the people who don't necessarily see fat shaming in those pictures. I see strangers looking at strangers the way people look at people they don't know. True, I wasn't there when the pictures were taken so I have no way of knowing if they were giving off disapproving vibes, if that makes sense, but I just don't see any "OMG, I cannot believe this heifer" looks.

And I tend to give people in pictures the benefit of the doubt because I myself don't come off as particularly friendly in candid photography. I look bored, sleepy, vaguely annoyed, anything but chipper, friendly, and approachable. A couple of years ago the year book staff at my high school asked me if they could photograph one of my senior classes. Strangers looking at the resulting pictures could easily, easily conclude that I'm yet another disinterested, somewhat angry, probably a little racist, union-protected "educator" who resents her students and who's just marking time until she can collect her pension. :lol: Heck, I look a little a little put out in the candid photographs of my own wedding.

This is an interesting discussion for me (aside from the general fat-shaming topic) because I find people have NO qualms touching my wheelchair in instances where you would not touch a person. People also tend to think because I'm in a wheelchair, I am unable to hear and talk ;)

My mother-in-law uses both a wheelchair and a cane, and she used to let my stepdaughters just grab her chair. Instead of asking her to move if they wanted to get by her, they'd take the chair handles and move her out of the way. Without asking. She'd also let them take her cane away from her, or if she was seated, she'd let them move it out of her reach. Without asking. My husband and I got the girls to the point where they had decent mobility aid etiquette when we were around, but grandma would slacken up the rules when we weren't. Well, when they were in first grade they had classmate who used forearm crutches. They came home from school one day upset because the kid had given the eldest girl an earful for moving his crutches without his permission. She thought it would be Okay because both she and her sister been doing that to grandma for years and was embarrassed to to realize that people can to do get righteously angry when they have personhoods violated like that. They stopped manhandling grandma toot sweet.

[Curious]

And I tend to give people in pictures the benefit of the doubt because I myself don't come off as particularly friendly in candid photography. I look bored, sleepy, vaguely annoyed, anything but chipper, friendly, and approachable. A couple of years ago the year book staff at my high school asked me if they could photograph one of my senior classes. Strangers looking at the resulting pictures could easily, easily conclude that I'm yet another disinterested, somewhat angry, probably a little racist, union-protected "educator" who resents her students and who's just marking time until she can collect her pension. :lol: Heck, I look a little a little put out in the candid photographs of my own wedding.

My mother-in-law uses both a wheelchair and a cane, and she used to let my stepdaughters just grab her chair. Instead of asking her to move if they wanted to get by her, they'd take the chair handles and move her out of the way. Without asking. She'd also let them take her cane away from her, or if she was seated, she'd let them move it out of her reach. Without asking. My husband and I got the girls to the point where they had decent mobility aid etiquette when we were around, but grandma would slacken up the rules when we weren't. Well, when they were in first grade they had classmate who used forearm crutches. They came home from school one day upset because the kid had given the eldest girl an earful for moving his crutches without his permission. She thought it would be Okay because both she and her sister been doing that to grandma for years and was embarrassed to to realize that people can to do get righteously angry when they have personhoods violated like that. They stopped manhandling grandma toot sweet.

I'm the same way in pictures. I found some pictures in an old photo album from before we had a digital camera of me around the time when we got our first Papillon. I remember the day they were taken. I was in a good mood and having a fun time. We had taken him for a walk and went to the dog park and he had had enough and was sitting on my lap and my husband decided to take a picture (since I NEVER allow pictures, he thought he'd sneak one in under the guise of getting one of the puppy). I look like I've just spent all day at the DMV ;) I actually remember the pictures and I swear I was smiling in them and I was joking with my husband about being sneaky about getting pictures of me. Yet, I look like I'd rather have bamboo shoved under my fingernails. I have ONE good picture of me, where I'm actually smiling and looking like I'm enjoying myself. I'm not sure why that one turned out and it's never been repeated. My wedding photos I look pretty disgruntled as well.

I use 2 canes around the house, but I don't bother to take them out with me, since I never really walk outside the house. I don't have enough endurance to actually walk anywhere of use when I'm out, but do ok going room to room. To the bold: that is my number one pet peeve. Sometimes I will even ask people if I am in their way and they will say no and then they will move me anyway :headdesk: Once that resulted in the asshole running over my toes with my own chair.

My other pet peeve is people using the chair as a hand hold, foot rest etc. Movies used to be really bad for that. The theater we used to go to had the handicapped seating in the middle of the theater, which I guess was nice, but it put me in the middle of people who then used the chair to catch themselves, put their feet up on the wheels, etc. I spent the whole movie either telling people to stop touching me or being jostled around, which when I was first post op, hurt me like a mofo. Now the theater we go to has the seating at the aisle between the seats down below and the up above ones and there is a railing of bars between the handicap spaces/companion seats and the start of the regular seats. It's so much nicer not worrying about being manhandled the whole movie ;)

[RachelB]

Does fat-shaming happen to men as well on a large scale...like the public comments and looks? We haven't talked about it and we have 2 women that have blogged about it. It just dawned on me that it has not come up, other than in the context of the photo. I had a male friend that is around 600 pounds and he never mentioned anything to me, but I also never asked specifically about it.

This is anecdata, but, yes, it does happen to me, though it's somewhat different. People are what I would call casually callous to my brother and sister-in-law for parenting while fat in public. They are less rude to my brother when he's by himself than when he's out with his wife. Why? My best guess is that our society has more expectations that women will be decorative than that men will be. At any rate, the intersection of fat-shaming, misogyny, and mother-policing is pretty awful.

I am distinctly less interested in participating in a conversation once it contains fat-shaming, because I know and love people for whom that is a really unpleasant facet of life.

[Boogalou]

Well, is some of us poking at smuggar the same as people saying things in public where the person actually is and giving them disapproving looks for just being in public?

I agree it likely happens more to women and for less amounts of weight though. So far the only examples of it happening to men have been from pictures on the net, vs examples in real life like the women have given. I'm sure it probably exists, we just hadn't really discussed it much.

Not the same, no. But the general attitude, that there is something wrong with being "fat", is there for males at least. How this manifests itself in non-internet life is another matter.

[FiddleDD]

Being fat is the last acceptable prejudice. Add a plus size woman myself, it amazes me how many people in our society think it's genuinely okay to treat or look at people differently because of their size. Especially when it's out of a so called "concern for your health". (Which is 90% false data the media has used to terrify people into thinking that being fat is the absolute worst thing on the world.)

My feeling about the photos is this: the people on those pictures may or may not have been participating on fat shaming, but the photos illustrate the issue beautifully.

[salex]

Does fat-shaming happen to men as well on a large scale...like the public comments and looks? We haven't talked about it and we have 2 women that have blogged about it. It just dawned on me that it has not come up, other than in the context of the photo. I had a male friend that is around 600 pounds and he never mentioned anything to me, but I also never asked specifically about it.

It is different, to a point, and likley varies by how overweight the man is. But, certainly this board feels very free to comment on the weight of Josh Duggar, and what I observe in my work is that there is a lot more "Jeez, dude, you are putting on the tonnage" comments between men who know and work with each ohter than there would be among women. While women might say "gee, suze is putting on a little weight" after suze is gone, in the manly men group I work with they may call the guy out on his weight gain the minute he walks in the room. However, again, this is anecdotal, once a guy is very large, they don't bring it up as much in front of him.

A few places where people have a certain dread of fat people is airlines. Everyone walking up to the gate is evaluated for how much they might or might not fit in the small 3 across seating structure.

I have read that men's incomes are not impacted by being overweight as much as women's. I am not sure if there is an "upper level" on how obese a man can be to where this is not the case.

I also think that the comments made to me and other fat women are, in part, a variation of the same crap we see where a certain group of men seem to think that it is their role, right and duty to let various women know how sexy or nonsexy these men see them. And, as I noticed when I was younger, it often was men who might fall into the lower levels economically, looks wise themselves, etc and my belief was that they might be intimidated by women in general, but since I was clearly on the "low end" of worth based on looks, in their opinion, they felt quite comfortable bashing me.

Note: I am of the opinion that people who dye their hair neon colors are going to always get a second or longer look, as people are trying to quickly analyze if that person is a threat or not (humans generally are prey type animals, and anything different makes people uncomfortable until they can quickly categorize the difference)

While we all know that it is rude to stare, I will admit that certain tattoos (full body coverage) worn with halter tops, etc to expose as much tattooed skin as possible seems to be a call for people to see the tattoo longer than a quick glance would allow.

[AmyP]

I agree. I think in a sense it's like setting up an experiment. Right now, there are too many variables: it is possible that the person is being looked at in a critical manner because they are overweight, but it could also be because they are behaving/dressing/adorning themselves in a way that would be likely to draw negative attention regardless of their size. I don't see enough information here to be convinced that these pictures depict a negative attitude towards people who are overweight. (I do believe this happens; I just don't agree with the interpretation of the photographers that it is happening in these particular instances.)

I'd be interested in seeing a situation where there are more controls, so that the weight issue is isolated.

yes- this is exactly what I was thinking. I don't think anyone is saying that a person cannot dress the way she wants if she is above a certain weight either. I just think that for the purposes of this experiment, her clothing and hair is distracting. It introduces another variable. Some people could be reacting to her weight, and some people could be reacting to her hair and some could be reacting to both.

[Salamander]

Being fat is the last acceptable prejudice. Add a plus size woman myself, it amazes me how many people in our society think it's genuinely okay to treat or look at people differently because of their size. Especially when it's out of a so called "concern for your health". (Which is 90% false data the media has used to terrify people into thinking that being fat is the absolute worst thing on the world.)

My feeling about the photos is this: the people on those pictures may or may not have been participating on fat shaming, but the photos illustrate the issue beautifully.

No to the bolded. That turn of phrase ("_____ is the last acceptable prejudice") is one of my pet peeves; no matter what -ism or -phobia you plug in there, it's not true. Transphobia, for instance, is very much alive and kicking.

[formergothardite]

Well Laura never did say how she got outside her comfort zone, she is pretty much just blathering on about how humble, amazing and godly she is. She really does know how to say all the right words to convince her followers she is a near perfect Christian.

[formergothardite]

Laura wrote an "I was wrong" post, that starts off sounding good, but then ends up just like all of her other "apology" posts, being all "they were mean to me!" She really, really doesn't get the concept of making an apology.

First of all Laura, when you spend the whole time calling the people who pointed out how rude you are "haters" it doesn't make it look like you actually feel bad about what you said. Secondly, you sould probably mention that you joined, enjoyed, and actively participated in this "hating" when it came to people you didn't like. That you went far enough in this "hate" that you actually brought your exfriend's blog here AND offered to provide links to other blogs of people you know so they can be snarked on. You are still trying to cover up how bad you actually were here.

I've said "sorry" I don't know how many times about a situation and it never seems enough.

Judging from your "sorry" here, if this is with your poor exfriend that you lied to, you probably haven't actually said you were sorry.

Or how about when someone just hates on you? I was recently hated on for my looks.

The cruel comments about your looks were wrong and most people here agreed with that, but why not be honest and say that it all started because you mocked someone else's looks? Why hide that? If you were truly sorry you would be honest. Honesty, Laura, work on it.

Though the comments stemmed from my own mistake that I've now apologized for(and got judged for, I might add), it hurt. I found the balance in the situation, apologized, and I still got hated on for it.

It wasn't a mistake. You didn't accidently write that. You meant it. You never apologized. Stop lying. You made it look like you apologized without actually doing it. Really, work on being honest, to yourself and others.

So I cried out to God for wisdom, humbly apologized, and looked onward and upward. It was hard, in a way, because I knew the haters would continue to hate.

Oh honey, if you think your posts here were humble you don't understand the slightest thing about humility. You never humbled yourself, you never said you were wrong, you never said you were sorry. You deflected blame in every, single apology post. With a real apology, people would probably forget about you.

She does admit that she lied to a friend and says some vague things about acting "divisive" after the friend didn't want to be friends with her anymore. She doesn't mention that she came here to trash her friend. Don't think she is that humble yet. But then she goes back to blaming her friend for not forgiving her by saying:

If they don't want to give something that is between them and God.

and

But when a slumbering sister has woken up, embrace her. Give her wrong to admit she was wrong and be able to admit that you were wrong.

I don't think she wants to admit to herself how bad she acted not only here but to her friend and the guy in that picture because if she did, she would have to admit that she is worse than us "haters".