Chaviva has haters :(

[lagenialester]

I know this is an old thread, but I just wanted to add that now she appears to be strongly considering writing for Kveller. I can only roll my eyes at this. Also note the "blog makeover" in which her heading now states "AND FAMILY!". I can't even.

[stonefruit]

I know this is an old thread, but I just wanted to add that now she appears to be strongly considering writing for Kveller. I can only roll my eyes at this. Also note the "blog makeover" in which her heading now states "AND FAMILY!". I can't even.

I don't know, I think it would be an interesting perspective to have at Kveller - a friend of mine writes there, and while it's not a blog I particularly care for or frequent very much, I don't think Chaviva would be out of place per se.

The question I have is, why is she assuming that they'd jump at the chance to have her write for them? My understanding is that they're actually quite selective as to whom they allow to post.

[Soldevi]

I don't hate her but I hate her blog's layout. It is hard to read. I wish she used black font instead of that foggy grayish one. Not the best choice from someone who claims to be social media professional.

[shedemei]

Kveller is for orthodox parents. Back in February Chaviva wrote:

I'm not sure if I've said it on the blog before, but if I have I'll say it again: I'm not becoming a stepmother so much as becoming iBoy's dad's new wife. Why do I say it that way? iBoy is at an age where he doesn't need another mother figure in his life, and it's not a role I can fulfill at the age he is, either. Heading to 9.5 years of age, iBoy has a mom and a dad, as well his mom's new husband and soon his dad's new wife. Zehu.

But she goes on to talk about how she'll need to be the tough cop and blah blah blah. As a stepchild, it sounds to me like she has an AWESOME plan.

I can't wait to read about how awesome she is at parenting and knows so much and has so much advice to give based upon her vast experience.

[lagenialester]

Yeah, I guess I didn't explain myself but that post is exactly why the idea of her writing for Kveller has me reeling. She has suddenly assumed the role of "parenting expert" after explicitly stating that she has no intentions of becoming an actual parent. I'm pretty sure someone suggested she start writing for Kveller in a comment and she saw another way to dominate Jewish social media and pounced on it.

[shedemei]

Oh, sorry, lagenialester. I was agreeing with you.

I do think there's potential for her regarding parenting. The reality is that she WILL be in something of a parenting role even if she's not a "primary" parent. I think there's a lot to write on her experience of becoming a stepmother and adjusting to that role, especially as an olah chadashah in Israel, which culturally tends to have a very different view of how to raise children than the US.

Chaviva, since you read here, know that I really mean this in a kind way: If you can stay away from trying to be an authority and instead just write honestly and candidly about your experience, I think it could be good. Don't overdo it. Even if you don't write for Kveller, that would be good material for your blog. Also, don't overshare about the boy and then scream about it later. That's not good for you, nor would it be good to invade his privacy like that.

[stonefruit]

Kveller is for orthodox parents.

That's not correct. Kveller is for Jewish parents, there's no denominational requirement. (The friend I know who writes for them is Reconstructionist.)

[LucySnowe]

I'd never heard of Kveller before. Sounds as though they're wide open:

There is no one way to parent Jewishly, and we are not about to change that. Whether you grew up observing Shabbat every Friday night, or had your first taste of matzo ball soup when you married into a Jewish family, the ways you can incorporate Judaism and Jewish culture into your parenting style are diverse. Kveller is here to give you ideas for your children’s early years--ideas for first-time parents, interfaith parents, queer parents, adoptive parents, and everything in between--with the hopes that you can find information and inspiration that is right for your family.

So there's definitely room for a 'converted and moved to Israel' discussion of becoming a stepparent - she could probably do a lot with that. Though it might have more weight behind it if she had more than thirty seconds of experience.

[yupitsme]

Just a few thoughts friends, after reading this thread.

First of all, I've never been called a fundamentalist, and I don't think anyone who knows me personally would ever in a million bajillion kajillion years call me any kind of fundamentalist (except maybe a gluten-free fundamentalist). I'm sorry not everyone agrees with my stance on living in the Gush, and I'm fine with varying opinions about that, honestly.

Secondly, I don't google myself every day. Every good social media savvy person has Google Alerts set up for various keywords (for work, for example, I have regular alerts for "gluten free" and the company name, so I also have alerts set up for my blog) so that you don't have to do the legwork, you just get the info in your inbox to keep tabs on who is talking about you. Oddly enough, Free Jinger doesn't show up there in my alerts anymore, and I happened to stumble over here today.

Lastly, the reality is that when it comes to parenting, I'm pretty sure I'm going to screw my kids up royally like we all do, especially because of how jacked up my childhood was with two depressed parents who had zero clue what they were doing because of their own lack of childhoods. Yes, I know, boo hoo poor Chaviva, but that's not what I'm getting at. What I am getting at is that I've realized that we all do the best we can when it comes to parenting, and that's all I can do -- for kids I have with Mr. T and for iBoy.

Oh! Also, the age thing. The reason I didn't want to get into details about Mr. T is because I hadn't (and still haven't) discussed with him how much information he wants about himself on my blog. It's a privacy thing, not an "I care" thing. When I was dating, I can't tell you how many dates turned me down because I have a blog. People think everything goes up on the blog, but it really doesn't. So much doesn't. Look at my first marriage -- didn't blog about jack while my life was crumbling there. I want to give Mr. T and iBoy as much privacy as possible. The blog is my mess, not theirs.

Okay, I think I answered all the questions/comments. Sorry to invade your private space to kvetch, but I felt like a response was needed. If you want me to introduce you to some fundamentalists, let me know :)

[yupitsme]

Also: I changed the font color on the page yesterday at the request of another friend. Good tip!

[Soldevi]

Also: I changed the font color on the page yesterday at the request of another friend. Good tip!

Thank you! Much better, earlier font hurt my eyes and because it was in foreign language (for me) I had to concentrate harder. :geek: