You've got to read it to believe it... Abigail Cries Poor

[Koala]

She's at it again this morning:

We're not special financial geniuses. We don't have some mystical messages regarding which stocks to invest in, or how to best trim the fat off our budget.

Financial genius weighing in :roll: (not really, but compared to Abigail I guess I am)

This is a question I think I can answer for her.

Cello and violin~ Gone

Fencing lessons~ No

Swim team~ Sorry kids. Groceries are more important.

Coffee, expensive chocolates, and "treats" for Abigail~ Not in the budget

Kitchen remodel~ :lol: Thank mommy Mary that you have a kitchen with working appliances

Artsy clothes for the kids?~ Hello thrift store, garage sales, and hand-me-downs. And we take those hand-me-downs with a smile. We don't go whine to the interwebz about them.

Fast food~ That would be a no. Meals are cooked in a kitchen, not picked up in a drive-thru

Wall art from Hobby Lobby~ Not happening. That $13 can go to ensure that your family's next meal is secure. If you want your daughter to believe that Jesus loves her, then tell her. If this message can only be conveyed via wall art, best break out the magic markers.

Also file under: Hobby Lobby. Not martyrs.

Wasting gas getting to "March for Life" when you know you really can't afford to go?~ Sorry, you've got a family to feed. And it's really not your business what other women do with their bodies anyway.

$30 toys to make a child with an ouchie feel better?~ Hugs and kisses from mom and dad will have to do

Concession stand~ Picnic lunch it is

Ice-cream for everyone~ Sure, but not from a chain ice-cream store. You buy store brand ice-cream and serve it at home. The kids will still be happy.

Now look at that. See how much "fat" I trimmed from the budget? Told you I was a financial genius.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Defensive much?

A fair number of the commenters showed some common sense. I just don't understand her reaction. Yes, you could argue that being honest about your money issues is the first step in dealing with them. If that's the case, though, then accept responsibility for your actions and take the practical suggestions and constructive criticism to heart. It seems like nothing but egocentric and foolish pride to assume that your mistakes and resulting inability to care for your children are somehow signs that you are the Most Faithful Ever.

I'm far from a happy homemaker and have been known to waste money - but even I know that it's possible to feed kids in under an hour if you have some basic cheap staples. If you have flour and eggs, you've got pancakes, and they don't take long to make. $24 would buy plenty of eggs, whole wheat flour, milk and baking powder.

[bbtlover]

(Sometimes I feel like donations of clothing and baby stuff are the most popular offer. Danya said when she announced a new pregnancy she could quote "hear the dump trucks backing in in the back yard." I feel that way too. Yet baby stuff by the fifth kid is virtually not needed. Clothes are also the hardest thing. All of my kids are artistic and individual. They are picky. They've got strong likes and dislikes. It's rare to find someone who is bigger than your kid who has the same taste.)

This makes me think of Kate Gosselin when her church donated cribs and clothes and furniture for the babies. All she did was complain that the cribs were not new and they didn't match. If you really are poor and need these things for your children you just say thank you for them and use them.

[lilwriter85]

From the latest entry.

I am a married woman. My husband is a fellow Carmelite. We have five children in our home. (May God bless us with more.) Our desire to live out a life of poverty in our home looks different from the Carmelite Nuns in a convent--but the desire is the same.

Of course, it is different in a convent. I think it is screwed up that Abigial and Jon are doing this crap. They aren't different from nuns in a convent. Nuns in a convent are looking after each other and not minor children.

[Ex 2x2]

I don't think it would work even if her dad did send grocery store gift cards. I think he'd have to have groceries delivered. She could find a way to piss away grocery store gift cards...mine has things like pots and pans, chocolates, a florist area, the bakery, expensive shampoos and make up. I doubt she'd use that money wisely in a way that would help her kids.

I also don't think gift cards to get the kids clothes would work. He would have to buy them clothes himself and send them.

She is absolutely ridiculous!!!!!!!!

[Ex 2x2]

OK seriously!? I just read her new posts and she is even worse than I thought!

She doesn't want to accept gifts b/c she'd be expected to post pics on facebook of her kids wearing them or dress them in the clothes when the giver came to visit. Apparently, gratefulness is not a virtue of the carmelites. I always dressed my babies in the outfits grandparents bought when they came to visit. It was a way of saying thank you and it made them happy. Is it really that big of a deal?? I also would take their pics in outfits that were gift and send them to the giver. If someone cared enough to buy us a gift and send it, it was a really small thing to do. She needs to seriously get over herself.

[Queen Of Hearts]

I love the comments on this story. So many of her readers put her in her place for claiming she lives in poverty when she doesn't.

[Conuly]

The whole "being poor is fun" thing isn't actually that uncommon on blogs

If people are actually poor, I'm all for that. If playing that it's a big game keeps you from crushing despair, go for it.

But she is actually playing games with money she doesn't have. I look at the list of splurges, and I could scream. I'm not getting paid for watching my nieces right now because money is tight and I spoke to my sister and told her I thought swim lessons for the girls were more important than book money for me. But this woman thinks she's so poor because... I don't even see her justification. It's poor planning and stupidity.

[lilah]

OK seriously!? I just read her new posts and she is even worse than I thought!

She doesn't want to accept gifts b/c she'd be expected to post pics on facebook of her kids wearing them or dress them in the clothes when the giver came to visit. Apparently, gratefulness is not a virtue of the carmelites. I always dressed my babies in the outfits grandparents bought when they came to visit. It was a way of saying thank you and it made them happy. Is it really that big of a deal?? I also would take their pics in outfits that were gift and send them to the giver. If someone cared enough to buy us a gift and send it, it was a really small thing to do. She needs to seriously get over herself.

She describes her mother as being very self-centered and emotionally abusive. Maybe that's part of how it manifests?

I agree that Abby has a self-control problem more than a poverty problem. She doesn't see anything wrong with being poor because she can't prioritize her spending. I feel sorry for her kids.

[laura oz]

I swear I'm so angry I'm shaking. I wasn't familiar with her and I checked her blog out while ago for the first time. She has no idea what poverty is and I left her a comment to let her ignorant ass know that. Real poverty is rationing out a roll of store brand Ritz crackers for meals and only having those for lunch and supper. I went to work at 14 to help my mom who had always been a SAHM and had no job skills. I got tired of being hungry. This chick is just an ignorant, self absorbed, and annoying douchette. What a jerk.

[Nothing2CHere]

Of course, Hobby Lobby is a want. It MATTERS. God is in the details. I bought something of Faith for my daughter when I needed Faith. I supported a martyr for the HHS mandate when it was difficult for me to do so.

No, you did NOT buy your daughter "something of Faith." You bought her a cheapy sign most likely made by a factory worker in China. And why did you buy your daughter "something of Faith" if you claim it was YOU who "needed Faith"? Say a Rosary instead.

[darareaksmey]

Wow, she is nutty as a fruitcake. I too am a lawyer who figured out early on that the law wasn't for me (but I stuck with it for 14 years anyhow). But once I had a family, it was incumbent on me to contribute monetarily to our collective well-being--even though my husband makes a good wage. Why would I want him to live a life of unbearable stress trying to make enough to keep us all alive and pay for insurance and savings and oh, by the way, the future college educations that aren't getting any cheaper? So I went out and took a job that required nothing more than a HS diploma. And now, 11 years later, I make pretty damn good money. Just because you figure out that that academic dream you had wasn't realistic for you doesn't mean you can't work at something else, Abigail. And while you may not make the fabulous coin that lawyers can make, you could perhaps help your family afford *redacted* from the Holy Hobby Lobby.

And does it ever occur to her that just maybe her dad's gift card WAS a gift from God? She was quite self-righteously adamant about how the card was just there to tempt her. How does she know? She needed the money; how does she know that wasn't God's way of providing for her? Abigail: don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Pride is a sin too.

ETA: spelling and punctuation

[darareaksmey]

Forgot to add this: Isn't there a sect of Buddhist monks who are required to beg for their food, and, even though their discipline requires vegetarianism, they still must eat meat if that is what someone gives them to eat? Abigail could learn from them about humility.

[Ex 2x2]

And really, if she wants to deprive herself, more power to her. (No that she is depriving herself of lattes, mcdonalds, a new kitchen, etc)...BUT, use the credit card your dad sent for those kids! Those kids aren't choosing to deprive themselves. Grrrrrrrrr

[Black Aliss]

http://abigails-alcove.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-benefits-of-poverty-finding-sweet.html

I would like to commentate, but I don't even know where to start. This woman is unbelievable!

Abigail~ You are NOT poor. You DO NOT live in poverty. You mismanage your money. Poor you are not. In poverty you do not live. Mismanage your money you do.

This. I was born into poverty. I grew up in poverty. I lived for at least some of my adult life in poverty. In short, I know poverty. Pissing one's money away on junk food, tchotchkes, rental fees for musical instruments and credit card interest is not poverty. It's just immature, irresponsible behavior.

[Jinger Jar]

The comments on this blog post are interesting. Catholic converts find her struggles with "poverty" convicting and inspiring. Cradle Catholics tell her to cut out the junk food and Hobby Lobby shopping sprees.

[August]

Is there any evidence she's actually poor? She says being poor is one of the principal virtues of being a nun+sex, so why not claim it?

Poor? Absolutely I'm poor, just like I'm supposed to be!

[Koala]

Love this comment:

God bless you for your vocation.

I'm curious in how your vocation to Carmel plays out in the practical sense. Like does your husband purposefully take a lower paying job? If you have extra money, do you give it away? Just curious.

Thanks.

Are you serious lady? Does reading comprehension mean anything to you? Of course she doesn't give it away. She spends that shit like it's going out of style...and not the "extra" either. No she's spending the damn grocery money. :roll:

And then of course Abigail's husband (who apparently approves of all of this fuckery) has to weigh in:

Alison T. Discernment of Spirits. One of the ways I weed out people and there poor advice is simply by how the present it.

Most of Abigail's "scornful" commenters, including yourself, haven't been giving gentle advice. There is hate and anger in their tone— a hostility and irritation.

If someone was truly concerned for my wife and the welfare of our family, their advice would sound a lot more gentle.

But when someone is hostile and irritated—it reveals something about the person, and the state of their Spirit. Their reaction may be because Abigail touched a nerve.

Yes, Abigail definitely touched a nerve. We all took a page from her holy book and went out and blew the mortgage payment on cheap crap learned to hang onto our money a little tighter.

[Talitha Cumi]

I'm far from a happy homemaker and have been known to waste money - but even I know that it's possible to feed kids in under an hour if you have some basic cheap staples. If you have flour and eggs, you've got pancakes, and they don't take long to make. $24 would buy plenty of eggs, whole wheat flour, milk and baking powder.

Now I want pancakes. Thanks a lot. ;)

[August]

LOL, my first thought was pacakes, too. Although I do crepes and throw cheese and ham inside.

But get a load of this

We can see that very clearly in response of a Religious Sister's call to her vocation. For example, Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity was a sunny girl who had extreme talent as a pianist. She joined the Discalsed Carmelite Order in mid-nineteenth century France. Her convent was so poor, it didn't have a piano. When Elizabeth joined the Order, she gave up playing the piano for the rest of her life. There were so many good Catholics around her that said "this is totally stupid woman! Join a less restrictive Order. Why are you throwing away such God given talent?" But Elizabeth knew that her heart belonged at Carmel--that is where she could best access Jesus. Because of her sacrifice, we Catholics have one of the most beautiful descriptions of Interior Silence written in one of her letters. It took a talented musician to "hear" the beauty of pure silence.

HAHAHAHAHA

[Talitha Cumi]

Also, sorry, but you can't cry poor when you've by your own admission wasted your money on McDonalds frappes. You just... don't get that right. You're not a uni student. WHY are you buying your kid tacky jesus loves me embroidery if you can barely afford to feed them? Why are you giving them McDonalds instead of buying ground beef and a huge bag of frozen veggies or making them a hearty soup from a few bucks worth of canned beans and lentils? Wanton stupidity.

If she wants wall art for her daughter, why not make a sign with her? It can be as complicated as embroidery (half an old pillowcase + a couple of skeins of embroidery floss + needle = $3 max, most of that going to the cost of needles) or as simple as watercolor, marker, or fingerpaint. It shows the daughter that love is best shown with action, not consumption. It's an opportunity to spend time with her and encourage her artistic side. And it costs as much or as little as you have to spend.

Artsy clothes for the kids?~ Hello thrift store, garage sales, and hand-me-downs. And we take those hand-me-downs with a smile. We don't go whine to the interwebz about them.

If the kids are really artsy, help them alter the clothes. I can't tell you how many t-shirts I've made by taking two different shirts, cutting and sewing them together interestingly. And it's fun! Goodwill, baby!

[singsingsing]

What a shocker! Her husband jumps in to defend his wife's insane behaviour again. These people are BOTH out of their minds. It makes me worried for their children, but I'm convinced now that they are reinforcing each other's insanity and will never, ever be willing to listen to outside advice, or take a step back and evaluate their actions. Really sad.

[slickcat79]

If she wants wall art for her daughter, why not make a sign with her? It can be as complicated as embroidery (half an old pillowcase + a couple of skeins of embroidery floss + needle = $3 max, most of that going to the cost of needles) or as simple as watercolor, marker, or fingerpaint. It shows the daughter that love is best shown with action, not consumption. It's an opportunity to spend time with her and encourage her artistic side. And it costs as much or as little as you have to spend.

I was thinking that as well. If she doesn't have much time, why not write a message with a simple design on a piece of paper and let her daughter color it? She would get the same "piece of faith" out of it, and have more fun :?

[GeoBQn]

If she wants wall art for her daughter, why not make a sign with her? It can be as complicated as embroidery (half an old pillowcase + a couple of skeins of embroidery floss + needle = $3 max, most of that going to the cost of needles) or as simple as watercolor, marker, or fingerpaint. It shows the daughter that love is best shown with action, not consumption. It's an opportunity to spend time with her and encourage her artistic side. And it costs as much or as little as you have to spend.

If the kids are really artsy, help them alter the clothes. I can't tell you how many t-shirts I've made by taking two different shirts, cutting and sewing them together interestingly. And it's fun! Goodwill, baby!

If Abigail hadn't completely alienated everybody at her church, she probably could have found old church ladies who would be willing to lend her crafting supplies or give lessons for free.

[Koala]

I was thinking that as well. If she doesn't have much time, why not write a message with a simple design on a piece of paper and let her daughter color it? She would get the same "piece of faith" out of it, and have more fun :?

But then she would have money for groceries and she couldn't claim to be poor :doh: