You've got to read it to believe it... Abigail Cries Poor

[LilMissMetaphor]

What's with the frozen hot pockets hate? :twisted:

[samurai_sarah]

Ah, so true! I remember feeling so guilty as a kid because we would be asked if we would give up everything we had to follow Jesus, like the Apostles. I liked my toys too much. LOL(snip)

Ah, the GUILT! Such fond memories! :evil:

[NurseNell]

Ah, the GUILT! Such fond memories! :evil:

Well I saved all my pennies for a pagan baby, and even collected clothes for said baby, and dammit, I never got my pagan baby. I was so disillusioned.

[HeckBound]

She's a attorney and let's her family be cold instead of maybe - I dunno - making some money for them?

[slickcat79]

Has she taken some sort of vow of poverty? Maybe she just likes to pretend that she has, since she likes to pretend she's a nun.

It's time for her to take off her hair shirt and raise the children they brought into the world. She can enjoy her fake vow of poverty after they're out of the house.

Exactly. As I understand it, carmelites are actually meant to take a vow of poverty, which is why mothers of young children are not allowed to be carmelites. You are not meant to drag kids who don't have a choice into the lifestyle against their will :?

[SamuraiKatz]

Jeez...she paid full price at Hobby Lobby. Why didn't she use the weekly 40% off coupon? She could have saved $5.20 on the $13.00 purchase. OR She could have waited for a 50% coupon from Joanns....

What a MaRoon!

[NurseNell]

Exactly. As I understand it, carmelites are actually meant to take a vow of poverty, which is why mothers of young children are not allowed to be carmelites. You are not meant to drag kids who don't have a choice into the lifestyle against their will :?

A lay or 3rd order Carmelite is not the same as entering the cloister. Much different rules.

[NurseNell]

http://ocarm.org/en/content/ocarm/third-order

In the midst of their normal family lives, in the work place, in their social commitments and relationships with other people, Carmelite Third Order members seek out the hidden image of God. They try to live in the spirit of the Beatitudes, humbly and consistently exercising the virtues of honesty, justice, sincerity, courtesy and fortitude, without which no Christian or human life is possible.

[NurseNell]

Does a Lay Carmelite profess vows? If so, what are they?

Lay Carmelites typically profess only Promises. However, after a considerable time of prayer, discernment and competent spiritual direction, one may profess two vows: obedience, and chastity – in accordance with one’s state in life. These vows are private, vis-à-vis the public vows of religion (poverty, chastity and obedience) that a Religious makes. The taking of these vows is neither encouraged nor discouraged.

Notice, poverty isn't mentioned for lay Carmelites, only for the Religious members.

[Wolfie]

http://www.lowes.com/pd_140997-34156-NA ... 94765336__ If she had enough money to buy two of these (instead of bundling up for a few days until payday), she's not living in poverty. And why buy one of those for each room, that's got to be expensive heating!

[Koala]

And why buy one of those for each room, that's got to be expensive heating!

Because she's not really a poor person - she just plays one on her blog ;)

[desertvixen]

From one of her comments:

I needed to buy $11 worth of hamburgers because my kids couldn't sit in a freezing house for an another hour while I cooked the food that I did have in my cub board from scratch. We don't have frozen hot pockets in my freezer. I've got such easy ingredients as flour and sugar.

Of course, Hobby Lobby is a want. It MATTERS. God is in the details. I bought something of Faith for my daughter when I needed Faith. I supported a martyr for the HHS mandate when it was difficult for me to do so.

It's okay to judge me. I'm not shouting that I'm doing this "correctly". My little way might not be your way.

But Dude, the guilt that I've got to be "together" with my money IS OVER. I'm done hiding my problems. I'm done trying to pretend that this is easy.

God can't help me if I keep lying. God can't help me if I keep hiding. One of the ways I'm healing my deep money shame is by blogging about it.

Well, I don't have any frozen hot pockets either, but I have enough stuff that could cook up in, say, twenty minutes. Pasta that cooked in the time it took my homemade spaghetti sauce to heat through.

The part that bothers me is she makes this whole big deal about supporting Hobby Lobby (martyrs? Please, read some Church history and get back to me.) when they don't have enough money. I'm not a financial genius either, but when I don't have money, I don't go places I'll spend unnecessary money.

I second the suggestion that she needs to see a financial counselor. God is not a financial planner.

As far as the part where her husband doesn't want her dad doing HIS job, then buddy, I have a message for you: DO IT YOURSELF. Take control of the finances. Encourage your wife to get some sort of take-home work. Quit renting a cello and paying for fencing lessons. BE RESPONSIBLE.

[miffy]

I think she is trying to rebel against a very comfortable upbringing. Proving herself to be more 'genuine' & 'poor, just like the working class' than the girls she went to school with.

[miffy]

Also i'm tempted to make a cookbook or cooking blog & make it seem like im a fundie, so it appeals to fundies. All the meals would be very cheap, filling & nutritious.

[dianapavelovna]

I wonder if her dad has read her blog.

[mockingbird]

God helps those who help themselves, Abigail. Pray that you will find a financial planning class and be humble enough (oh. What's that word? Definitely NOT a Catholic value) to take the advice, stat.

"Of course, Hobby Lobby is a want. It MATTERS." Uh, no. What matters is being able to feed your kids.

[Conuly]

Dude, the guilt that I've got to be "together" with my money IS OVER. I'm done hiding my problems. I'm done trying to pretend that this is easy.

If you're spending large quantities of money you don't have for things you don't need, at the expense of things your children DO need, like food security, then you SHOULD feel guilty! It's not easy, no, not when you're addicted to spending, but find a freaking way. Don't ever put more money into your pocket than you intend to spend. When the paycheck comes, immediately pay every bill you can so you cannot spend that money. Don't go into stores when you cannot afford to purchase anything. (Of course, if you follow the first rule it should be fine, as you should have no money at all.) Cut up all credit cards but one, and give that one to a safe and trusted friend to keep for you. That way emergencies only can mean just that.

And for the love of god, if you mess up and buy out of budget, there is this marvelous thing called "returns". Go back to the store once you've come to your senses and get your money back.

And don't, don't, don't write a long post about how frivolous your spending is and how proud you are of it. Because that's how the whole thing reads, like she's proud of her own incompetence. Well, it's her kids who suffer. Meanwhile, people who are actually poor at least know better than to boast about it.

As far as her dads credit card goes, he needs a clue too. Don't give cash to people who cannot be trusted with it. If you want to help out, pay the rent directly, send gift cards for children's clothing and shoes, directly mail seeds to the house, or groceries if they can be delivered at minimal extra cost. Never, ever write a blank check to an irresponsible person. It doesn't help them.

[lilwriter85]

She reminds me of so many other converts to Catholicism, they want to be more Catholic then the Pope. They try to outdo each other in being holy and embracing the Church.

Out of all Catholic convert fundie bloggers that I've read, Abigail is the worst one. I read the late Barbara Curtis' blog A Mommy Life and she annoyed me here and there. I remember being introduced to Brianna H sometime before finding out about Abigail blog. Brianna also annoyed me early on. When I read some of Abigail entries, I saw that she is worse than Brianna and Barbara.

[FairyPrincessK]

This makes me so angry. I haven't been able to afford to heat my living space in well over three years. I wear fleece tops, dressing gowns, thick slippers and blankets around the house. Is it ideal? No, and having children would make it even less ideal, but 59 is nowhere near dangerously cold. Get your kids some blankets, put them on the sofa together with a big stack of books (from the librrary you nitwit) and go make some lunch. Wear a hat if needed. You often warm up while cooking anyway. Then, you can take the kids to the library (where it will be warm) to trade out the books and get a break from the cold.

I've got two down comforters, one my parents bought as a present when I was around 15 and another that is a hand me down from them. I've stuck both of them in the same cover and put a quilt on top--I'm never cold in bed and I live in a very poorly insulated house. How about, instead of buying shit from hobby lobby, you buy your kids warmer bedding--a grow bag for baby that is rated for the temperature of the room and footie pajamas for the toddler?

Trust me, being poor isn't as fun as pretending to be poor for fun.

[wild little fox]

Is she maybe being passive aggressive? Her husband asked her not to use Daddy's credit cards anymore, and it pissed her off. So now that they're truly desperate and a new card shows up, she decides to do exactly what her husband said to teach him a lesson. Cloaked, of course, in all her religious nuttery.

I have observed this passive aggressive dynamic in fundie/QF marriages. Perhaps she feels powerless and this is her only way to feel she has control in her life. I'm not saying she is justified in hurting her family in any way.

[FairyPrincessK]

I can see the passive aggressive thing. The whole "being poor is fun" thing isn't actually that uncommon on blogs. Sometimes I wonder if these bloggers write such outrageous things so that when they're moderating comments they can call their headship over to see how they're being persecuted (and so they comments can tell their headship what they really think about his leadership)

[Evilbad]

Space heaters are rough on the electric bill, too. They're just making dumb, irresponsible decisions based on wants, not needs.

[hapamama]

Trust me, being poor isn't as fun as pretending to be poor for fun.

Amen to this. While my parents weren't desperately poor, they definitely lived paycheck to paycheck when they had kids at home. Things got tight, and it wasn't easy being the poor kids in a very middle class school.

Space heaters are rough on the electric bill, too. They're just making dumb, irresponsible decisions based on wants, not needs.

Actually that's not entirely true. It depends on how you set things up. Our central heating is very inefficient (and currently broken). At the time it crapped out, we decided to try out "zone heating" using electric space heaters. Our electricity is about the same. The electric space heaters we use are set to kick on when the room temperature drops below 68 degrees, and turn off when the room reaches that temperature again... basically they're running for short bursts at night rather than all night long the way our central heat was.

[Vex]

I HATE this shit.

God wasn't testing you. He was giving you a way to HELP YOURSELF.

When your kids are freezing and starving, it's time to shove your husband's pride aside and accept help. Fucking fundies.

Also, sorry, but you can't cry poor when you've by your own admission wasted your money on McDonalds frappes. You just... don't get that right. You're not a uni student. WHY are you buying your kid tacky jesus loves me embroidery if you can barely afford to feed them? Why are you giving them McDonalds instead of buying ground beef and a huge bag of frozen veggies or making them a hearty soup from a few bucks worth of canned beans and lentils? Wanton stupidity.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but what part of using space heaters is good for your electric bill OR the environment. My parents always used to throttle me when I overused the space heater and would insist I just wear more layers. With kids and a baby I understand the need to keep warm, but space heaters are horrendously wasteful and expensive to run. I am not good with money, but even I understand what they're doing wrong here.

[Patsy]

Oh, last commenter Brenda's got it:

Spiritually, what good is your financial poverty if it only leads you to spiritual pride?