Child Collectors Extraordinaire

[lilwriter85]

I followed Jean's blog for awhile, before I sort of forgot about it. I have to admit thatI find her family likable. They don't see fundie or even fundie lite at all. The issues I see with Jean's family is that they adopt too often. I'm not trying to sound mean, but I think they should stop after the adoption of the three girls in the fall.

[NurseNell]

I followed Jean's blog for awhile, before I sort of forgot about it. I have to admit thatI find her family likable. They don't see fundie or even fundie lite at all. The issues I see with Jean's family is that they adopt too often. I'm not trying to sound mean, but I think they should stop after the adoption of the three girls in the fall.

I think they are regular Catholics. Their bio kids went to Benilde-St. Margarets in the Twin Cities, it is not a conservative school. At least one of them goes to St. Thomas University in St. Paul, where every other Catholic student in MN goes. One of their kids is at the Carlson School of Management, one of the top graduate business programs in the country.

They seem upper middle class, beautiful home, kids well dressed. I too question the number of kids they have. I know I couldn't do it. A few of the Chinese children have special needs.

[lilwriter85]

I think they are regular Catholics. Their bio kids went to Benilde-St. Margarets in the Twin Cities, it is not a conservative school. At least one of them goes to St. Thomas University in St. Paul, where every other Catholic student in MN goes. One of their kids is at the Carlson School of Management, one of the top graduate business programs in the country.

They seem upper middle class, beautiful home, kids well dressed. I too question the number of kids they have. I know I couldn't do it. A few of the Chinese children have special needs.

I'm also thinking they are regular Catholics. They aren't crazy like Brianna or Abigail. I think I could maybe handle one or two kids with special needs. Like I said before, Jean and her hubby adopt too often and I kind of think they are ignoring some of the issues that come out of that.

[chaotic life]

Jean's description of why she adopts sounds like a pure addict. If you replaced "children" with any drug, people would be begging her to go to rehab, plain and simple. There is absolutely NO WAY 13 children in 5.5 years can settle into a family and you can sufficiently meet all of their needs. It's irresponsible.

And, Lauren (Laurel?)? Her husband has NO JOB, she whined for months and months about being broke and the solution is to do a zigzag cross country vacation journey immediately after your husband gets word he STILL has no job?

I seriously would LOVE to know how she accomplishes her financial irresponsibility, because I only have 8 living children and we work hard to meet their needs. We could NEVER do a trip like that because it would involve forgoing something vital like health insurance, housing, jobs, etc, all of which we consider non-negotiable for caring for these children.

[Morton Fan]

Jean's description of why she adopts sounds like a pure addict. If you replaced "children" with any drug, people would be begging her to go to rehab, plain and simple.

Ya, but that's true about most things. "Oh, I took [my kindergartener to her first day of school] today. I couldn't stop thinking about [her] all day long!! I was anxious and jittery to see how it went, but excited too. I can't wait to do it again tomorrow!"

Read: "Oh, I took [LSD] today. I couldn't stop thinking about [LSD] all day long!! I was so anxious and jittery to see how it went, but excited too. I can't wait to do it again tomorrow!"

I do agree with the general consensus that Jean is likely adopting too many, too fast.

[sandberry]

Child trafficking is okay apparently God wants children from 'economically poor' families in Ghana to be adopted by rich Americans according to blessedbyachild.blogspot.co.uk/

Apparently God plans for children to be orphaned or for their families to be unable to provide food or medical care for them so they can be adopted by a family that has over 30 kids.

Did all her kids come legally? she doesn't know and doesn't care but she wouldn't support child trafficking :?

I have been reading this blog for a while but usually it is all happy (homeschooling, Christian) families. Interesting blog post on this though. Has Ghana closed adoptions or something? this family has added four children from Ghana and their adult children have added another two very, very quickly.

[Hane]

I just finished reading "The Child Collectors," and my blood ran cold. I look at all the adoptees I know and can't help wondering: Is there an elderly woman somewhere crying every night because she misses the baby who grew up to be my brother-in-law or the guy in my theater group? Were all the internationally adopted teens and young adults I know brought to their American families legitimately, or were corrupt practices brought to bear in their countries of origin?

That said, I can't help comparing these child collectors with pet collectors who have houses crammed with "adopted" cats or dogs. People are quick to disparage "crazy cat ladies," but people who adopt large numbers of kids are almost invariably hailed as saints.

My theory is that these child collectors really have no concept of genuinely bonding with kids, and that their relationships are all essentially emotionally shallow. The adoptive parents I know--most of whom have only one adopted child, maybe two--were cautious and deliberate about approaching adoption and about building a relationship with their new children.

[GolightlyGrrl]

I just finished reading "The Child Collectors," and my blood ran cold. I look at all the adoptees I know and can't help wondering: Is there an elderly woman somewhere crying every night because she misses the baby who grew up to be my brother-in-law or the guy in my theater group? Were all the internationally adopted teens and young adults I know brought to their American families legitimately, or were corrupt practices brought to bear in their countries of origin?

That said, I can't help comparing these child collectors with pet collectors who have houses crammed with "adopted" cats or dogs. People are quick to disparage "crazy cat ladies," but people who adopt large numbers of kids are almost invariably hailed as saints.

My theory is that these child collectors really have no concept of genuinely bonding with kids, and that their relationships are all essentially emotionally shallow. The adoptive parents I know--most of whom have only one adopted child, maybe two--were cautious and deliberate about approaching adoption and about building a relationship with their new children.

I read this book, and like you my blood also ran cold. You pretty much summed up my sentiments about these horrible child collectors. Adopting kids seems to be more about fulfilling their need, especially their egos, and less about fulfilling the needs of their adopted children.

[hapamama]

Colorado allows you to get CNA certification (what I strongly suspect Adeye was "away at school" doing last spring when they returned to CO) and pay yourself for the nursing assistant hours that your child qualifies for. Every state will award SSDI even to brand-new children brought into the country. SSDI is based upon family income, but the SSDI for one child does not factor in the calculation for another child, only the parents' income. The lowest I'm aware of SSDI paying is about $640/month.

'

Actually, your suspicion is correct. She has a CNA license for Colorado, that she got in February 2012. There are search engines to look this stuff up... all I needed were her name and state, all which she provided on her blog. For that matter, her husband is also a licensed CNA, although he didn't get his until July 2012...

[chaotic life]

Then they are getting ALL of the nursing care subsidies CO offer for all of their SN kids. I *think* you are only permitted to claim the income for 2 SN children in the home. So, if he got his CNA as well, then that allows them to earn that income for four of the SN kids. Maybe they have one outside person, but likely not. Certainly explains why they keep going back to CO and putting Harper's health in danger when the doctors have repeatedly told them she cannot tolerate the altitude. They are likely making a six-figure income off those kids, tax-free, plus her blogging income. Furthermore, if they are collecting the subsidies for themselves, then they are NOT actually bringing in assistance for the kids either, which is what the funds are intended for.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Wait... they're moving AGAIN? I see a post about them packing up.

Are they moving every other year from CO to some other state and then back to CO and then out to another state and then back to CO... or what?

[chaotic life]

They are now renting a house somewhere "away" from the high altitude. It's less than a day's drive from where they were, so it doesn't appear to be back to their house in Virginia. I don't know if they left CO or moved somewhere in CO with a lower altitude. I know the doctors told them AGAIN that Harper cannot and will never be able to handle the high altitudes. The husband is staying behind to finish renovating the house they just bought and to find a new job. So the story goes.

I know he was a model before they married, but they seem to have a LOT of income for a family where she does not work, and where he only works as a hospital chaplain, and was out of work for the two years they lived in Virginia previously. They now own three houses as well, the most recent purchased just this spring as a foreclosure. They rent out their other two houses but according to the blog they will renovate this one and sell it.

[Petronella7]

I know he was a model before they married, but they seem to have a LOT of income for a family where she does not work, and where he only works as a hospital chaplain, and was out of work for the two years they lived in Virginia previously. They now own three houses as well, the most recent purchased just this spring as a foreclosure. They rent out their other two houses but according to the blog they will renovate this one and sell it.

Didn't someone (actually I think it was you!) calculate that with five, possibly six children qualifying for SSDI, plus both parents being paid by the state for providing nursing care for four of the children, that would yield an annual income in the six figures? Add to that their rental income and blogging income, assume that Anthony was bright enough to save/invest money from his modelling years, and also assume that their adoption costs have been pretty much paid for by fundraising, and isn't there a tax break/subsidy for adopting as well, and the likelihood that where they live has a fairly low COL. Given all those factors, I can believe that they live quite comfortably.

[chaotic life]

Yes. SSDI is dependent upon state. That I am aware of, the lowest I know is $640/month and the highest I know is $980/month based upon the COL of the state you reside in. That is per child, and I would be absolutely shocked if they aren't getting SSDI on five of those children. They cannot get it on Hanna Claire since her only special need is Hep B + that does not qualify for disability. The others all qualify for it. My friend who lived in CO and received the nurse aide assistance for her child had a child at the top in of the needs category, which the four EE children all reach and was getting $2k/month for one child. If they are getting anywhere close to that for four children (assuming they get nothing for Haven but I don't see there is anyway they would get nothing for her just possibly less than those four depending on whether she is potty trained or not), that would already be six figures. She has a blog her advertising account and MckMama demonstrated how lucrative the BlogHer ad accounts are. Assuming two of the houses are rented out to at least cover their mortgages and not take income out of the family, then yes, they are QUITE well off, mostly off the backs of those children, because honestly she would not generate traffic to her blog if it were not for adopting those children so even that, imo, is income generated due to the children.

I honestly, legitimately always assumed that there was no way to profit off of international adoptees until recently. I feel so disillusioned and not wonder if people think my family has done this. I seriously thought that people don't adopt kids they cannot afford and then generate income from them. Initially, I thought Adeye and her family lived off of a substantial savings from her husbands modeling years, which is certainly what she tries to imply on her blog. After seeing the income a BlogHer advertising fund can generate from MckMama and now putting together the pieces of just how much you can generate from these kids, I am disgusted.

FTR, if anyone looks at my family, we do NOT generate income from these kids. We work HARD to care for them, and the biggest reason we aren't adopting again is because to do so would be a tipping point that would take away from these kids. When they reached teen years and their costs increased, I went back to work to keep ahead of their costs. I never ever thought about these kids being income generators for people!

[Hane]

chaotic life, I am so sad that horrible people like these cast a pall on all "legitimate" adoptive parents. My ex's younger son was adopted and considered "special needs" owing to a malformation of the back of his skull (which may have come from his foster mother's always allowing him to sleep in the same position as a baby). He and his first wife received a form of SSDI from the state from which the boy was adopted as a "special needs" child--even though he turned out to have absolutely no physical or cognitive disabilities, and went on to graduate from college.

I know a woman my age (60) whose bio parents (college professors, no less) relinquished her to the state because they "couldn't deal" with her physical abnormalities--she was born missing several fingers and had a leg so badly misshapen it had to be amputated. In those days, her lifelong foster parents wanted to adopt her, but couldn't afford the costs of her periodic surgeries and prostheses, so she just stayed with them and used their surname.

When she turned 18, her bio parents wanted to meet her and make her a part of their lives, and she sent them a letter essentially telling them to go fuck themselves.

She got her degrees, got married, had two kids, and has been an elementary school principal for many years now--thanks to parents like you, chaotic life.

(Footnote: The family also had two foster sons, biological brothers whose single dad didn't have the wherewithal to care for them, but who visited them regularly and was a part of their lives.)

[Stephanie66]

People who adopt kids from foster care for the right reasons are heroes, even though they won't say so.

I have a friend (and his wife) who adopted three brothers from foster care. ALL were born addicted and ALL are doing great now. None of us wants to think about what could have been. (They got the boys at 3, 18 months, and 6 weeks) Especially for black boys in America...they seem to get shuffled around quite a bit.

He doesn't always remember they are adopted, which cracks me up. Two of the boys have his mannerisms and speech patterns. Little mini-mes. :)

[chaotic life]

Oh, I've rattled off medical history before and had to stop and go, "WAIT, that's not right" because I just rattled off all of what all the kids have and forget which kids have an actual biological connection to the conditions that other children have.

Honestly, I know I am not like this. I just really wish I could go back under my rock where I used to believe that the ONLY reason people took in kids, especially special needs kids, was because they wanted to make a difference in that child's life and NOT because there are sinister ways in this country that you can profit off of hurting kids.

And....only today I connected that Narcissists project everything *they* are doing unto other people and the first adoptive family told everyone who would listen that we were profiting off our newest son, so we need to run a fraud check on his SSN and make certain THEY have not been collecting any money or profiting off of him this entire time. DH says he knows how to check, but I didn't even think about doing that until today when I thought about how much people can profit off these kids and how arrogant that family was in telling people that we were profiting when we were having to fork out hundreds just to get him set up, clothed, medications and a bed when he showed up and the ONE thing they had agreed to cover--medication co-pays, they refused to pay and left him with only 3 days of his medications when they brought him.

If those people have profited off this kid I am going to lost my temper, especially if they continued after we had custody of him! Kids are NOT a profit margin. It just makes me sick to think that anyone would look at them and seek out ways to make a buck off of their trails and struggles.

[LilMissMetaphor]

Adeye wrote about Cade and Hannah:

I cannot wait to see what He has planned for these two lives.

Hmm, endlessly caring for their FIVE special-needs siblings more than likely--just a guess? :evil-eye:

[Coconut Flan]

The kids would get SSI not SSDI. It's two different programs. I know they're close and administered by the same agency, but still different. :)

[chaotic life]

Thank you, I can NEVER keep them straight. I just know one is for children with issues and one is for adults who have worked and have disabilities. I think maybe they both come with Medicaid, but I actually don't know that. Obviously, I have never actually received either or maybe I would know a bit more clearly. They are both administered by the SSA that's the extent of my understanding except to be grateful I have never needed disability coverage for me and that the one for children is income based but it only accounts for the parents income so other children getting it wouldn't be counted towards the income qualifications.

[Coconut Flan]

SSI is for adults and children. It's the converted (1974) welfare program for the aged and disabled. It is income based and does come with Medicaid. SSDI is for people who have worked for sufficient credit and their dependents. Disabled adult children of the deceased, disabled, and retired can also receive a check if the primary wage earner qualified. Medicare goes with SSDI. Some people due to very low Social Security checks also receive SSI thus compounding the confusion. I've volunteered helping many people through the system. :)

[OkToBeTakei]

Post today on

theresnoplacelikehome-family.blogspot.co.uk/

I know I always say how much I like her. I know that is a LOT of children and two more on the way.

What she describes their treatment is though, is just beyond awful.

I'm happy the kids looked so happy in Disney World after reading what they deal with daily :cry:

I know, I know I have a soft spot.

[lilwriter85]

For the most part, I like Jean from therenosplacelikehome. As I mentioned before the only thing that seems questionable is them adopting too soon after each adoption.

[Diana]

Post today on

theresnoplacelikehome-family.blogspot.co.uk/

I know I always say how much I like her. I know that is a LOT of children and two more on the way.

What she describes their treatment is though, is just beyond awful.

I'm happy the kids looked so happy in Disney World after reading what they deal with daily :cry:

I know, I know I have a soft spot.

I also like her, she seems a very good person. In this situation i suppose the best they can do is to sell the house and move out, even if they lose money, it must be awful for the poor children to hear such things, i feel really sorry for them.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Wow, thats horrible :( Its sad that people would be so cruel about a child with HIV.