Abigail is an Emotional Orphan

[lilith]

From the comments section

Abigial has pissed me for awhile with how she talks/use the Virgin Mary on her blog. My mom is Catholic and considers Mary an important figure for woman, but my mom would be disgusted with how Abigial and some of these hardcore Catholics use Mary as a way of crapping on their mothers.

The idea that any mother should live up to Mary, Mother of God, who their own religion almost deifies as the one perfect woman, holier than any other, the only woman perfect enough to carry the child of God is insane.

As is the idea that her parents, who don't subscribe to the same religious beliefs, should never have used contraception and have had umpteen kids because she was going to become a crazy catholic in later life is so incredibly self centred and insane.

[Koala]

The fact that daycare even made the list tells me it wasn't all that bad. If Abigail had a story to tell, she would tell it.

My favorite quotes:

I have no particulars facts

:shock: If she has no particular facts, then where the hell is she getting all of this stuff? Is the default position to assume that you have lost "siblings" to birth control and abortion and are therefore psychologically traumatized? It kind of reminds me of that crazy lady that talked about all of the "angel" cousins, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews she had lost to the horrors of birth control. Frankie? Was that her? Anyway...

I didn't have an emotionally nurturing Mother at birth--so Jesus lent me his!

:lol: I don't know why this cracked me up. It's like he let her borrow his jacket or a cup of sugar. Lord have mercy.

[valsa]

The fact that daycare even made the list tells me it wasn't all that bad. If Abigail had a story to tell, she would tell it.

But don't you know how evil and soul crushing daycare is? According to Abby-

I'm that broken Ukrainian orphan that my husband took into his home. I literally was left in a crib for with 9 other babies with two caretakers for over 12 hours a day starting at six weeks old. (That was enlightened daycare in the 1970s). What did that do to my soul? How is Jesus going to heal that?

I wish I could take this lady to an Eastern European institution. A real one. So that she can see the children in them who are tied to a crib and left all alone with no human contact. The ones who are 15 years old but are no bigger than toddlers. The ones who are so starved for attention that they pinch and bite themselves and violently slam their own heads against the crib bars just to get some -any- sort of stimulation.

So I could tell her to shut the fuck up.

[Jana814]

But don't you know how evil and soul crushing daycare is? According to Abby-

I wish I could take this lady to an Eastern European institution. A real one. So that she can see the children in them who are tied to a crib and left all alone with no human contact. The ones who are 15 years old but are no bigger than toddlers. The ones who are so starved for attention that they pinch and bite themselves and violently slam their own heads against the crib bars just to get some -any- sort of stimulation.

So I could tell her to shut the fuck up.

I am discussed that she has compared herself in a daycare center to an orphanage in Eastern Europe!! This woman really needs some help from a professional.

[debrand]

Apparently, I don't always show my true emotions. By nature, I am quiet, shy and socially awkward. When my mom got angry she told me that she thought I didn't have emotions. You have to realize that my mom was melodramatic and crazy. If there wasn't insanity in her life, she created it. Both I and my sister were told that we were 'cold'. When I was 11, she called me into her bedroom because she wanted me to watch her go through my stepfather's wallet for proof that he was having an affair. Unfortunately, I told her that my dad could never have an affair. She set me down on the edge of her bed and calmly told me that I was a cold shell of human being without any emotion. Luckily, I had enough sense to know that I wasn't unemotional but that pain stayed with me a long time and made me feel that there is something wrong with the way I present myself to others. How often do you remember the exact quote that someone used against you? I remember exactly what my mom said that day. Ironically, she also told me that I had too much of a temper and was too boy crazy/slutty.

Maybe there is more to Abigail's story but on the surface her mother seems worlds apart from my own.

[Peas n carrots]

Apparently, I don't always show my true emotions. By nature, I am quiet, shy and socially awkward. When my mom got angry she told me that she thought I didn't have emotions. You have to realize that my mom was melodramatic and crazy. If there wasn't insanity in her life, she created it. Both I and my sister were told that we were 'cold'. When I was 11, she called me into her bedroom because she wanted me to watch her go through my stepfather's wallet for proof that he was having an affair. Unfortunately, I told her that my dad could never have an affair. She set me down on the edge of her bed and calmly told me that I was a cold shell of human being without any emotion. Luckily, I had enough sense to know that I wasn't unemotional but that pain stayed with me a long time and made me feel that there is something wrong with the way I present myself to others. How often do you remember the exact quote that someone used against you? I remember exactly what my mom said that day. Ironically, she also told me that I had too much of a temper and was too boy crazy/slutty.

Maybe there is more to Abigail's story but on the surface her mother seems worlds apart from my own.

Are you my sister? Sounds like my mother.

My mother was deeply ashamed of the fact that I was the product of a relationship with my bio father. So much that she refused to ever speak about him, and the rare times she did she told me he tried to murder her and murder me. Mind you was was under 10 when I was told this. She also never told my younger siblings and passed me off as being the child of my step father to them. It made me feel ashamed of myself for no reason at all. I was also threatened multiple times of being sent away to group homes because I was a cold emotionless sociopath. Yet I know I could have had it a zillion times worse.

Abigail is seriously out of touch with reality. It's the only way she can align her self image with martyrdom.

[salsa]

this is soo insulting to the children of an alcoholic mother, sometimes daycare was a relief. my brother and i still live with the emotional shit she heaped on us when my dad was at work, some of which actually included how we weren't the children she'd always wanted, and we were the reason she had to live the type of life she never wanted, some days i was sooo grateful that i got to leave. How dare she compare a loving parent making sound choices to emotional abuse.

Me, too. Without the alcoholism (at least not directly; my mother is an adult child of an alcoholic). She occasionally would break down and sob, "all I ever wanted was two normal children." Of course, I never could figure out what normal was, in her world, as it didn't seem to be much like my world. My sister was better at learning that it was a game and learned how to play it, so she was the favored (yes - they actually told me that I should be more like my sister). They really could not see the act my sister put up. I ended up with a master's degree. my sister flunked out of 7 colleges. I have a career my sister is unemployed... See, when my sister became an early teenager, she went berserk, using alcohol and drugs, and I believe she's mentally ill, due to all the alcohol and drugs.

In a way, I'm glad I'm the orphan. I carved out a life.....

(I'm giving a spoiler because it's a potential trigger for abuse survivors)

so I'm rambling/venting. This was a BIG trigger for me. Emotional/verbal/psychological abuse is real. And though I really *do* understand those who are pointing out that a 9-year-old can perceive something as other than it was intended, there's a distinction between a difference of perception and being hurt by it and continually called Dumb Ass, and having your parents never miss an opportunity to berate you, or when the teacher calls because she (in my case it was always a she) is concernecd, the response your parents have is for your dad to wear his leather belt around his waist outside of his trousers, come into your room and say "the teacher called today.. 'cross the bed." and you lay across the bed and swear you won't cry, but when you don't, the lashes keep coming across you until you can't help it and you cry. And, while your parents are remediating with you, explaining why they had to do this, they berate you some more and make you pull down your pants to see the welts and red marks and just tsk tsk tsk tha tyou made them do this.

THAT, my friends, is abuse. I didn't misperceive being called names and I didn't misperceive spanks as beatings that gave me bruises. And then being ridiculed because I hurt.

Sorry, but though I understand the Miss Priss feels hurt, and though I always have sympathy for people who feel hurt, I can't help but think that she's grasping at straws to make her ideological point.

eta: for anyone who chooses to read the spoiler, my crime was ALWAYS daydreaming in class and not performing to "potential," whatever that means (whose potential, and by what measure?). .... and I, too lately, realize I must bow out of this thread; it's too big of a trigger for me. :oops: Sorry for being so personal.

[GeoBQn]

Abigail uses math to explain why daycare is bad. Also, HOT DAMN fundies loved Lincoln.

abigails-alcove.blogspot.ca/2012/11/thoughts-part-two.html

[BabyFullOfSin]

I just want to say that I'm so sorry about the hurt that some of you were caused by your parents. It's sad and sickening and you did not deserve it.

Abigail is a cold, narcissistic woman

[rock_girl]

Lol, my mum was older than many when she had me. I bet dozens of my siblings were aborted by the world's most prolific abortionist - God 8-).

Thanks, big guy.

My parents like to tell me what a trying child I was (and what a trying adult I still am!) because we all think it's kind of hilarious. I should probably start calling it emotional abuse. Maybe that'll guilt them into buying me some cute stuff.

[Dysfundamental]

Abigail uses math to explain why daycare is bad. Also, HOT DAMN fundies loved Lincoln.

abigails-alcove.blogspot.ca/2012/11/thoughts-part-two.html

I feel like they must not actually be listening to the words in the script (by the married-to-another-man playwright Tony Kushner, who savaged fundies in Angels in America). It's a complex movie. With no Jesus. And though there are some pretty serious historical inaccuracies in the portrayal of the African American characters---Mrs. Lincoln's dress designer was a free woman who had a thriving business, not a former slave turned White House servant, for instance---it does show those characters as people with autonomy and anger, not puppets to be "saved" by Lincoln, which is the usual fundie take I encounter.

[julie paradox]

I would say a very simple prayer to Mary, the Mother of God--"Mary, be my mother too." The prayer I said as a 25 year old Protestant was "I don't know who this Mary person is or what she does but if she's for world peace count me in!"

I call bullshit. Anyone who doesn't know who Mary is is not "a Protestant", they're "not a Christian, not even culturally".

[Arete]

So Mary is now her mother and the holy family is the template for family life. What, exactly, does the Bible say about day to day life in the holy family? Pretty much nothing. It does, however, mention that Mary and his brothers were getting pretty exasperated by Jesus's public ministry. Oh, and the fact that when Jesus was a teen they nearly went out of their minds looking for him, and when they found him they were kind of annoyed. This is from a Catholic Bible.

This chick's Mariolatry is just gross, and this is coming from someone who is part of the Christian spectrum that holds Mary in extremely high esteem.

[dawbs]

Abigail uses math to explain why daycare is bad. Also, HOT DAMN fundies loved Lincoln.

abigails-alcove.blogspot.ca/2012/11/thoughts-part-two.html

How the hell do these people justify this math?

I mean, I get some of it, but if in a daycare, "That means in one 12 hour period, a newborn baby will have that loving gaze of a caregivers eyes for approximately 2.63 hours."...what the hell do they think happens in the Duggar household where that 'math' still applies but instead of 4 children, there are 19?

[ILoveJellybeans]

They wouldnt be complaining about that if it was in a quiverfull family with exactly the same ratio, or if a family had sextuplets or something.

[lilah]

It's a hoot that she's complainging about emotional abuse while bragging about being too poor to feed or clothe her kids, purposfully trying to have a kid with cystisic fibrosis, letting her colicky kid cry it out for hours on end until she's hoarse rather than have the husband care for his kid and basically amditting she's not homeschooling her kids much becuase she's too sleep deprived. And complaining about a 1-6 ratio of cargivers to children in an institutional setting while she herself has 5-6 kids and plans to have more. She can't feed or educate the ones she already has!

[Effie]

L. said...Wow, Abigail, you appear to have attracted a troll. Usually, they get bored and move on. November 28, 2012 12:49 AM

What is her definition of a troll? :roll: Someone who disagrees with you?

Whoever MsJess is, I love the little comment you left, especially this ending:

1-6 ratio of adults to children, I think it's pretty interesting that you'd criticize it when you're against using birth control and will probably have more than six children to care for and homeschool.

[Terrie]

Abigail needs therapy. Not because she was abused, but because she nuts.

[Dinorah]

Abigail needs therapy. Not because she was abused, but because she nuts.

Right. There seems to be something pathological about all her fantasizes of suffering and abuse, I mean she likens herself to an Ukrainian orphan, talks about hypothetical car accidents and chemoterapies...

At one point she also mentions weeping after a negative pregnancy test. She's got five kids under ten, is that reasonable? Does she know there are some women who try for years and years to have even one child?

[Jana814]

Abigail needs therapy. Not because she was abused, but because she nuts.

Agree!!

[Jana814]

They wouldnt be complaining about that if it was in a quiverfull family with exactly the same ratio, or if a family had sextuplets or something.

Agree with this as well! Granted I am sure if they were quiverfull family she would probably say something "glory to G-d" & it is "his will".

[Shasta ODonegal]

I'd love to know what she was like in law school.

[precious_one]

I had to come out of lurk mode for this.

This woman knows nothing about emotional abuse. My parents divorced when I was four and my dad told me that I could not visit him because I looked to much like my mom. Can you imagine being told that at four?

Abigail was mistreated by going to day care. Heck, I wish my mom would have taken my brother and I to daycare. I was staying home all night with my brother when I was 10 while my mom went out did whatever she did. She would be gone for days at a time and all we had to eat was oatmeal. I will not even go into her many live in boyfriends that tried to do things to me and my brother.

Then I enter the foster care system at 14 which was a total nightmare. So she can take her emotional abuse and shove her up arse.

[Jana814]

I just want to say that I'm so sorry about the hurt that some of you were caused by your parents. It's sad and sickening and you did not deserve it.

Abigail is a cold, narcissistic woman

I have to agree with you on both statements!! Abigail needs some professional help!

[ems]

I call bullshit. Anyone who doesn't know who Mary is is not "a Protestant", they're "not a Christian, not even culturally".

Yeah, this. Even with all the (fundie) Protestant misconceptions about Mary, Protestants at least know who she is. In America, not knowing who Mary is is akin to not having ever heard of Jesus. So yeah, total BS.