Abigail is an Emotional Orphan

[Dinorah]

Wow, Abigail made four posts on the theme of "daycare is evil". Doesn't it sound like she might be desperately trying to justify her ideas to herself?

[singsingsing]

Wow, Abigail made four posts on the theme of "daycare is evil". Doesn't it sound like she might be desperately trying to justify her ideas to herself?

Considering that she shows over and over again on her blog that she can't handle taking care of all her children (she talks about running sobbing into another room, and she shuts herself in her room to sleep, letting her colicky baby 'cry it out' for hours), I would say yes. Can you imagine the pressure she feels? On the one hand I'd bet she thinks at least sometimes how much better her life would be if she was able to put the kids in someone else's care, even a few times a week. On the other hand, that might entail her actually having to work to support her family, and it would tarnish her saintly martyr image.

[Shasta ODonegal]

I'm trying to reconcile "saintly martyr image" with the verbal tableaux she posted of her reading a French novel while her babies play at her feet. I had to look again to be sure Miss Raquel wasn't guest blogging that day.

[Jana814]

Considering that she shows over and over again on her blog that she can't handle taking care of all her children (she talks about running sobbing into another room, and she shuts herself in her room to sleep, letting her colicky baby 'cry it out' for hours), I would say yes. Can you imagine the pressure she feels? On the one hand I'd bet she thinks at least sometimes how much better her life would be if she was able to put the kids in someone else's care, even a few times a week. On the other hand, that might entail her actually having to work to support her family, and it would tarnish her saintly martyr image.

Yet this woman wants more kids, and a child that might have a cronic Disease!

[mockingbird]

You know how people always say they would not wish suffering on anyone because they deserve a good life just because of their humanity, etc.? I do believe that but I would also not wish suffering on Abigail because she just WOULD NOT GET IT. If you gave her a child with CF she would delight in her troubles. At no point would she become overwhelmed and emotional and actually think, maybe the way I used to glorify suffering was wrong and dismissive of people who have been through worse than I have, dismissive of my CF child's life experiences. She would just get overwhelmed and emotional and fish for sympathy and try to defend her life choices to herself on her blog. I agree she would love the experience of having a chronically ill child which just makes me sick. If there is a God maybe that is why she has 5 kids and he has not given her one with CF yet. Don't test your fate, Abigail.

[GeoBQn]

Abigail would like people who disagree with her to stop reading her blog. Also, something something something Eleanor Roosevelt.

abigails-alcove.blogspot.ca/2012/11/thoughts-part-5.html

[synchroswimr]

Abigail would like people who disagree with her to stop reading her blog. Also, something something something Eleanor Roosevelt.

abigails-alcove.blogspot.ca/2012/11/thoughts-part-5.html

I tried to read it, but gave up when she called me a gentle reader. That affectation bothers me more than it should

[Guest Anonymous]

In addition to being emotionally and psychologically abused, and being a Ukrainian orphan, being in daycare is now like being in 'long, painful exile'. Wow, am I the only one who remembers daycare as that lovely place where they gave you fresh fruit and milk (and crackers on Mondays)?

[Jana814]

This woman has some REAL ISSUES!! I don't get why she is still talking smack about daycare. Daycare can be a wonderful thing, and is most cases it is, parents who work are greatful for the fact that they have such a thing, I know of several kids who were/are in Daycare and all I hear from their parents is how wonderful it is, and how happy their kids are when they are their.

[mkitten]

In addition to being emotionally and psychologically abused, and being a Ukrainian orphan, being in daycare is now like being in 'long, painful exile'. Wow, am I the only one who remembers daycare as that lovely place where they gave you fresh fruit and milk (and crackers on Mondays)?

Long, painful exile?! :angry-cussingblack: What the hell is wrong with her?

[camdendayton]

I tried to read it, but gave up when she called me a gentle reader. That affectation bothers me more than it should

I can't even get past the first post's opening declaration of "I am the face of emotional child abuse." I can't explain exactly why but that just cracks me up. Maybe because I know of no fundie that could define emotional abuse as anything beyond not having a "Christian" home.

[wild little fox]

The one thing I have in my life in abundance is grace. That's it. I love God and I pray often. That is the recipe for success in stay-at-home motherhood. Any woman can do it!

http://abigails-alcove.blogspot.ca/2012/11/thoughts-part-two.html

Delusional.

[Claddagh]

Before this Advent, I was terrified of letting people discover that I was a fraud. I wasn't really a "nice Christian girl." It didn't matter how many people in my life said they loved me-- youth group leaders, Protestant pastors, nice guy boy friends, drama coaches, cross country coaches, history teachers, English professors--I knew the truth. The most important person in my young life, my Mother, rejected me. She knew me best, so how could any of those other, less-intimate strangers possibly know better than her?

As long as you are true to yourself you do not have to fear people feeling that you're a fraud.

Because you got sent to daycare doesn't mean that you're rejected. Please lady, get off the cross! I'd also urge some serious professional therapy or a group session with people who have gone through some horrific abuses.

[wild little fox]

I cannot find words to comment on her claim to be an emotional orphan.

My grandmother hated my mother, so my mother was distant and abusive to me. I had it bad, but still it wasn't as bad as a lot of people have suffered. This Abigail leaves me speechless...

[Arete]

My nieces and my nephew have all been or currently are in daycare, and as far as I'm concerned it has made them ALL better little people. Hell, as far as their parents are concerned daycare has been instrumental in their human development by familiarizing them with the concepts of sharing, clean up, and schedules. My sibs cry when their kids get old enough to transition to public schools.

It's been said, but I'll articulate it again, Abigail is a narcisistic twat. Her husband is an enabling dick.

[Jana814]

My nieces and my nephew have all been or currently are in daycare, and as far as I'm concerned it has made them ALL better little people. Hell, as far as their parents are concerned daycare has been instrumental in their human development by familiarizing them with the concepts of sharing, clean up, and schedules. My sibs cry when their kids get old enough to transition to public schools.

It's been said, but I'll articulate it again, Abigail is a narcisistic twat. Her husband is an enabling dick.

Can't agree with you more on both statements. I am a pet sitter, a family that sit for has a 6 year old who has been in daycare for years, they say it is what makes who he is, a sweet, gentle and loving child, who knows how to behave is any situcation that comes along!

[SpeshulTaterTot]

I always loved daycare, my mom sometimes had trouble getting me home. There were other kids to play with, awesome toys that I didn't have at home, we went swimming almost every day in the summer and sledding in the winter... So I hated the naps and the food was sometimes questionable (Blood sausage! Germany in the early 80's.), but other than that, I have nothing but fond memories of daycare. And I'm sure that having a job that fulfilled my mom, and having a husband, family and friends who supported her in her choice to go back to work after 10 months instead of the two years she'd planned, made her a better mother.

Two of my aunts work in a daycare. They love children, they love their jobs, and for some kids, they provide the stability they don't have at home for whatever reason. Stability that Abigail's kids desperately need.

[crazyforkate]

I couldn't go to daycare as a little kid because I had issues with my immune system, so I went to a babysitter instead. My mom and I both agree now that we wish I had been able to go to daycare, because I've always had trouble socialising with my peers and we think that being around other kids from a young age might have helped. But really, who knows? You have to do what you have to do and your kid is probably going to turn out okay in the end.

And as far as I know I never had a single problem with either of my parents working, and they both had the type of jobs where they would be away for several days or even weeks at a time, leaving me with the babysitter for days at a time. If anything, it helped me become more independent and treasure my time with them more. Abigail's just a dumbass, frankly, and her kids are probably going to suffer a lot more for having an overextended mom, even leaving out the potential for CF or siblings with CF. She's much closer to an abuser than a mom who sticks her kid in daycare.

[singsingsing]

I would not be surprised if Abigail's mother WAS a bad mother, regardless of the daycare issue. Abigail clearly has serious issues, and she got them somewhere.

When I was growing up my father worked long hours, and when he came home he either ignored us or punished us (physically). On top of that, he was a passive aggressive narcissist whose bizarre behaviour and emotional manipulation forced me to severely limit my contact with him as an adult, for my own psychological well-being. I will admit that my relationship with my father hurt me deeply and I was only able to start recovering and figuring out the damage he did to my psyche as an adult. But you won't see me claiming to be 'the face of emotional abuse'. You won't see me drawing parallels between myself and a woman who was beaten or raped and literally abandoned by her father. You won't see me saying crap like, "This is why no father should ever work more than 40 hours a week!! Their children become abused orphans!!"

Abigail's problem (well, one among many) is that it's all like some kind of crazy pissing contest for her. She wasn't just hurt by her mother, she was THE MOST HURT. Daycare wasn't a negative experience, it was THE WORST EVER. She wasn't just emotionally damaged by her past relationships, she was ALMOST DESTROYED. People she runs into in her daily life aren't just annoyed with her, they're HEAPING SCORN ON HER. And on and on and on.

[mockingbird]

I would not be surprised if Abigail's mother WAS a bad mother, regardless of the daycare issue. Abigail clearly has serious issues, and she got them somewhere.

I agree this could be the case. It could be more that maybe her mom didn't pay attention to her, and Abigail sees her mom putting her in daycare as part of that, or something. However, she doesn't realize/refuses to acknowledge that everyone else's experience with daycare is not her own, and that if her mom was not a good parent, it had more to do with her mom being her mom than her working and putting her kids in daycare and using birth control.

[Peas n carrots]

I would not be surprised if Abigail's mother WAS a bad mother, regardless of the daycare issue. Abigail clearly has serious issues, and she got them somewhere.

When I was growing up my father worked long hours, and when he came home he either ignored us or punished us (physically). On top of that, he was a passive aggressive narcissist whose bizarre behaviour and emotional manipulation forced me to severely limit my contact with him as an adult, for my own psychological well-being. I will admit that my relationship with my father hurt me deeply and I was only able to start recovering and figuring out the damage he did to my psyche as an adult. But you won't see me claiming to be 'the face of emotional abuse'. You won't see me drawing parallels between myself and a woman who was beaten or raped and literally abandoned by her father. You won't see me saying crap like, "This is why no father should ever work more than 40 hours a week!! Their children become abused orphans!!"

Abigail's problem (well, one among many) is that it's all like some kind of crazy pissing contest for her. She wasn't just hurt by her mother, she was THE MOST HURT. Daycare wasn't a negative experience, it was THE WORST EVER. She wasn't just emotionally damaged by her past relationships, she was ALMOST DESTROYED. People she runs into in her daily life aren't just annoyed with her, they're HEAPING SCORN ON HER. And on and on and on.

What a sad way to live, having such a negative slant on life. To think being a martyr is a better existence than enjoying the simple pleasures of life. And thinking everyone is out to get you.

Really, she and Franki Grainger need to be connected STAT. Misery loves company...

[Koala]

Yet there is one person on this earth who in February 1975 started out her newborn life in a long, painful exile from her Mother--ME.

I truly worry for her mental stability.

[mockingbird]

Really, she and Franki Grainger need to be connected STAT. Misery loves company...

Would they get along though? Or would it just be a constant competition for whose life is worse? :lol:

[JesusFightClub]

I always loved daycare, my mom sometimes had trouble getting me home. There were other kids to play with, awesome toys that I didn't have at home, we went swimming almost every day in the summer and sledding in the winter... So I hated the naps and the food was sometimes questionable (Blood sausage! Germany in the early 80's.), but other than that, I have nothing but fond memories of daycare. And I'm sure that having a job that fulfilled my mom, and having a husband, family and friends who supported her in her choice to go back to work after 10 months instead of the two years she'd planned, made her a better mother.

Two of my aunts work in a daycare. They love children, they love their jobs, and for some kids, they provide the stability they don't have at home for whatever reason. Stability that Abigail's kids desperately need.

Totally agree with the above. I *loved* my nursery as a kid.

I still have really fond memories of it. Though I hate coppers nowadays I remember a copper coming in and talking to us little kids. I got a sticker and a little badge for knowing my name, address, and phone number ("in case you get lost"). I remember him telling us "If you are lost, talk to a nice lady. Maybe a shop lady who will help you. Don't talk to a man, he might be a bad man" :)

And one day we had fruits and vegetables day. They brought in fruits and vegetables for us to try. I was really happy as I hadn't tried some of them before - I tried an avocado, an aubergine and a strange kind of fruit (I think possibly a starfruit) as well as a mango. The teacher said I was very brave for trying all the fruits and I got a sticker again :)

I loved the teacher and all my mates at nursery. I used to look forward to it every day. The teacher's son was in my class and we used to go around everywhere holding hands because we were best friends. We used to like playing in the playhouse and playing with the little cars in the box. The little cars used to race each other and talk to each other.

And that was council funded. You don't get that nowadays. :(

[Sobeknofret]

I truly worry for her mental stability.

I agree with this. She scares me a bit with her paranoia. Can you imagine going through life just looking for the next opportunity to be unhappy?