Using toy drives to proselytize to needy families

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

@tankgirl, I'm sorry to hear that about Heifer International. The things I have read about them sounded more like they made sure that the animals were suited to their locale (ex. bee keeping for small scale coffee growers leading to honey to sell and better coffee yields) and that they provided education on animal care to the recipients. I guess I'll need to do a bit more research.

Real help is more complicated than faux help, isn't it? 

[AuntK]

Our church participates, but I have chosen not to, because I don't agree with Franklin Graham and his hateful political stances.  Further, I think he is taking advantage of his father who is 93, I believe, and running the ministry in a way that Billy would not approve.  Finally, they ask you to include a check for $7 or something, a small amount, to help with shipping.  BUT, this puts you on Franklin Graham's mailing list and you will get requests for donations on a regular basis forever!

[Gobbles]

Our town hall has a tree every year standing in the entrance hall and children who come from low income families or have other problems can hang wish lists on there. You full fill a wish and take the gift to the town hall, and they deliver them to the children. I found a press release from 2013. 1500 children made wishes that year. Other companies/charities help in asking the children for wishes. (Proper legal ones, like a hospice for children for example.) Price limit is set at 30€. If wishes are left over, local toy stores have offered to donate them for free, so every child is guaranteed its wish.

I love that this is done by the local government. Our mayor is chairman of it. No church behind it.

[Granwych]

A few years back a local college did a story about a girl from Nigeria, I believe, who was able to get to this school from the goats her mom got from Heifer Int'l.  Sorry to hear about them having issues.

[BabyBottlePop]

I did this a few times as a child and I remember that they were explicit about not taping the boxes shut and instead, closing them with a rubber band. I remember worrying that the package would open on the way and spill out. Now I see it was so they could take the packages apart. It's upsetting!

I'm against missionary work so the fact I contributed to it in this way bothers me.

[Ruviana]

2 hours ago, AuntK said:

Our church participates, but I have chosen not to, because I don't agree with Franklin Graham and his hateful political stances.  Further, I think he is taking advantage of his father who is 93, I believe, and running the ministry in a way that Billy would not approve.  Finally, they ask you to include a check for $7 or something, a small amount, to help with shipping.  BUT, this puts you on Franklin Graham's mailing list and you will get requests for donations on a regular basis forever!

I saw this and thought it sounded a little young for Billy (yeah, I know) and checked.  He's 97!  No fan of Franklin either, who is hateful and divisive IMO.

[Mercer]

I put together boxes for Operation Christmas Child for a number of years (and put a lot of effort into how to squeeze maximum value of practical needs like hygiene products combined with lots of fun stuff into such a small space) but became uncomfortable with it the more I read about it. I decided to contribute to different charities instead when I found out more about the Samaritan's Purse organization. They tie their giving to evangelism much more than I was initially aware of - including doing "follow up" with recipient families to continue to proselytize - and their founders are on the record making very homophobic and Islamophobic statements. 

[littlehouse]

We have a local Christmas Angels program, and stuff the bus.  We go this route, local kids and families that need some help at Christmas.  My eldest was a little upset when her class last year spent a day building the OCC boxes for kids to take home and bring back and I told her no.  I wasn't impressed when I had looked up more info on it, her whole class was super excited to help out kids far away.  I tried to do heifer international, but at that time it was really hard to do from Canada.

So we donate locally.

[lilwriter85]

I have a lesbian friend who grew up going to a Methodist church that did OCC. It was tradition for her family to do two boxes a year. My friend came out to her parents when she was 19, they accepted her right away as they already had a few gay friends and her mom worked with gay AIDS patients as a social worker in the 80s and 90s. The Methodist church they attend is gay friendly, but later on her parents stopped participating in OCC because of Franklin Graham's homophobic comments.  Since the mom was a social worker they give toys to a domestic violence shelter and to CPS to give to foster kids in their county.

I have relatives that participated in OCC last year and posted pictures on Facebook of the packing party at their Baptist church. Another relative sponsored a family for Christmas through her Catholic parish. The family was a single mom with two kids. She bought of all them gifts and added a grocery gift card. She didn't post anything on social media, but told us about the program. 

[AuLait]

We did this for a number of years a long time ago with our kids. They loved it... Even as little kids they put a lot of thought into what would be good to send. We always sent a soccer ball and pump, candy and school supplies in fun colors and patterns. A few little sturdy clever toys too. I abhorred how many people would put the cheapest dollar store crap in boxes. We dropped them at the church down the street which was a collection point. We never had to pay but I often did online so I could get a barcode and track where they went. That was fun. We stopped when the kids got older because I never remembered.

Sorry to hear it wasn't as good or helpful as we thought at the time

 

[Sylvan]

18 hours ago, JillyO said:

We've had good experiences with this on a local level. The pastor of a local church in my hometown in Germany has run something very similar to OCC for decades. The packages go to kids in Romania, and the pastor hand-delivers them. His wife is Romanian, so that's where the connection came from. It means we can be very sure who gets the packages, and also that no crap like tracts is added or packages are opened and re-packed like in @jerkit's experience. He gives out lists of everything that should (and shouldn't) be in the packages, and then he delivers exactly the packages that the people donate. It's a shame OCC is such a terrible organization since I think the idea itself is lovely. We're not even Christian, but I always loved packing the boxes as a kid, and my mom has continued doing it after I moved away. Maybe there's a local church or organization near you you could support, @Hokey Pokey?

I grew up in Romania in the 90s, and I remember getting boxes through the Baptist church our family attended. I don't remember any tracts, I was more excited about the toys and the candy! It was a good mix of toys (quite a few Happy Meal toys, but we didn't have McDonalds so I didn't know that's what they were), personal care items, socks and gloves, picture books, and a few treats. Really exciting when you're a kid who doesn't get new stuff all that often. 

OCC would be a great organization if they skipped the preaching and focused on helping children in need. They were in the news recently for denying someone a volunteer position because she wouldn't sign a "statement of faith" (which included opposing same-sex marriage and abortion). That should tell you everything you need to know about their values. *gag*

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/burgeo-woman-samaritans-purse-beliefs-1.3580597

[Shiny]

I don't know a lot about OCC, but I was really turned away by the stories they share from the recipients. A lot of the stories talked about how the kids ate the toothpaste from their boxes and got sick...it just came across as making fun of the kids or like "haha look at the African kid, doesn't even know what toothpaste is". There is a whole lot of white savior syndrome going on. Plus the tracts are awful. 

 

[Mercer]

26 minutes ago, Shiny said:

A lot of the stories talked about how the kids ate the toothpaste from their boxes and got sick...it just came across as making fun of the kids or like "haha look at the African kid, doesn't even know what toothpaste is".

Yikes!  I'm baffled by how this happened on a regular basis. Where are the adults who are supposed to be in charge of this project?

I mean sure, kids eat toothpaste and get sick all the time, including plenty of American kids. Mix in the probably unfamiliar packaging and the likelihood that the children in question may not be able to read English, plus the fact that in some communities certain hygiene products truly aren't available, and I get how the issue arose.

It just seems like after this happened once, though, the organizers would wise up and either have a translator explain what the product was, or ask the donors not to send toothpaste because it just causes too many problems.

I don't see why it would be funny for any child to get sick, but I especially don't get why it's funny in developing world communities where access to clean water may be limited and vomiting can lead to dehydration, which can lead to serious health problems or even death.

Bottom line is this should have been treated as a problem to solve and they should have gotten a handle on it, not used it as a funny story to share.

[JillyO]

1 hour ago, Sylvan said:

I grew up in Romania in the 90s, and I remember getting boxes through the Baptist church our family attended. I don't remember any tracts, I was more excited about the toys and the candy! It was a good mix of toys (quite a few Happy Meal toys, but we didn't have McDonalds so I didn't know that's what they were), personal care items, socks and gloves, picture books, and a few treats. Really exciting when you're a kid who doesn't get new stuff all that often.

That's great, and thank you for sharing your perspective on the receiving end.  

[hoipolloi]

Would never share Franklin Graham's theology or politics, but he's always seemed especially vile and loathsome to me ever since he overruled his mother's last wishes over her burial site and stuck her in his theme park.

Then, of course, there's his support for the abusive liar, Saeed Abedini.

[slickcat79]

19 hours ago, AuntK said:

Our church participates, but I have chosen not to, because I don't agree with Franklin Graham and his hateful political stances.  Further, I think he is taking advantage of his father who is 93, I believe, and running the ministry in a way that Billy would not approve.  Finally, they ask you to include a check for $7 or something, a small amount, to help with shipping.  BUT, this puts you on Franklin Graham's mailing list and you will get requests for donations on a regular basis forever!

I remember reading a story where the in-country hosts who were receiving the boxes were also asked to pay for their shipping, and gave up money that they couldn't really spare. IIRC, SP admitted that they do ask all the receiving organizations for donations, but there are no obligations to pay. IMO, it's pretty disgusting to even ask when they're already getting millions in donations from the shippers, and have plenty of money themselves. 

Per their own FAQ page, OCC also say that they don't make any effort to match a country with a box based on its contents. So something like socks and gloves could be both a fun and practical gift, but not if you send it to a country with a hot and humid climate where most of the kids don't even have shoes. Those are just some practical drawbacks, never mind the squick factor of heavy proselytizing to children. 

[Mercer]

It's been a few years so I may be remembering wrong, but I'm fairly sure we were asked to give some money to cover the cost of shipping for each box we put together. I would be very unhappy if they double-dipped a receiving organization for shipping while taking money from my friends and me implying that we were the ones paying for it, but now I'm concerned that they might have.

[December]

Not familiar with this particular program, but I'm not shocked. I used to participate in a church-affiliated Christmas gift program, but it was very good and didn't proselytize. They'd contact a school in a poor area of the city, where parents could sign their kids up to receive a Christmas gift. We'd get a big list of kids' names, genders, favorite colors, clothing sizes, etc. and what gift they wanted. We'd sign up for specific kid(s), buy their requested gift, some clothing items, candy, etc. and box it up with a Christmas card from Santa. It really felt like you were making a personal impact, and it was nice to know the items were going straight to the kids and no overhead was being taken off... and it's not like it was difficult to organize.

[bea]

If anyone is interested in donating things at Christmas, and you are in the United States, your local police district will have a toy drive. Police districts all over the country have them every year, I am one of the coordinators for my district here in Chicago. We have a fair number of low-income families, we usually can get at least one gift for every child on the list. The lists are submitted by social services, so we have whole wish lists from some people, and just name, sex, age, clothing and shoe sizes for other kids.

[Chocolatedefrauded]

Even locally it can be hard to give without unintentionally humiliating kids. Our town has Santa deliver a big package to kids under 10 every Christmas Eve. Even if you are not poor. It includes a few toys, hat & mittens, snacks & oddly, a can of soda. I tried to decline it once but was told every kid in town gets it but you are welcome to donate money if you can afford it. It started afterwards WW II to provide some joy & love to kids whose fathers died or were injured in the war. Then it changed to include all kids the organizers know about. No one is embarrassed.

[Chickenbutt]

If you are so inclined, there are also programs for children of inmates. I think it is sponsored by The Salvation Army in Arizona. We call it the Angel Tree here.

[lilwriter85]

On 10/27/2016 at 10:11 AM, livinginthelight said:

Great question!

The wonderful book, When Helping Hurts https://www.amazon.com/When-Helping-Hurts-Alleviate-Yourself/dp/0802409989/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1477584419&sr=8-1&keywords=when+helping+hurts

explains why this, and many other well-intentioned charities, is a very bad idea. (This gives Operation Christmas Child the benefit of being well-intentioned. I don't trust Franklin Graham at all.) Giving Christmas presents "to those who don't have any", sends a very disempowering message to the family, particularly the heads of household. The message is, "you cannot sufficiently provide for your family. We have to step in and do it better than you ever could.  You are not a capable provider. " 

The negative social ramifications of such a message are huge. I found this book very eye-opening and highly recommend it.

I'll have to read this book at some point. I know people with similar viewpoints. I have friend who has a disabled daughter in addition to two sons. My friend and her husband have always worked to provide for their kids and the expenses attached with their daughter's disability. They aren't broke, but they couldn't give their kids extra or go on vacations for several years.. My friend's husband hated when non-profit disability organizations or friends or family would offer certain things. He said the same things about feeling disempowered and not feeling like a good provider. Now in days, he is ok with taking  help if there are no other alternatives.

[slickcat79]

In the vein of general Franklin graham weirdness, this article from my hometown paper. They "coincidentally" happen to be conducting drills involving SIMULATED GUNFIRE on election day . 

http://m.wataugademocrat.com/blowingrocket/message-from-the-town-of-blowing-rock/article_b6c1430a-a52a-11e6-9176-0f416d87d0e9.html?mode=jqm

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

We have a tree at the hospital I work at with tags for children from remote Indigenous communities. 

They ask for no food, religious stuff or second hand things. I have chosen 4 toddler boys the same age as my son and giving each boy:

kids size AFL football (Kmart $3)

big bucket of wooden blocks with shapes I got from Kmart for $10

a good quality tshirt & cap ($15 on sale redused from $50)

a book that my son loves called 'nicknack bushwack' that has Australian animals & rhymes as it counts to 10. $8

so didn't spend much but hopefully a wide variety of gifts that are useful and fun  

 

I have no no qualms at all about doing this. Having worked in a remote community I know this may be the only gift these children receive. 

Many of these children are raised by their grandmother (who is raising many of her grandkids). I hope they don't feel disempowered when 'Santa' visits. My son gets a gift from his daycare and I think 'great!' Not 'don't they know I can provide for his needs.'

But I admit I may feel differently if I was from a struggling family so that is something for me to think about as our friend Steve Maxwell would say. 

[G33kywife]

I am coming out as a volunteer for OCC. I basically run the drop off center for my location. I'm very sad to hear about boxes being opened and redistributed. We are told over and over to never tamper with the boxes. The reason the boxes are rubber banded and not taped when you drop them off, is that sometimes people will place an envelope inside with the cash or check. Once the boxes reach the processing centers, the workers will peek inside (taking caution to not mess with the box) and remove the envelope. The only other reason something should be removed is if it contains an item that isn't allowed. 

I have had a good experience with OCC, but I will definitely read the links posted with an open mind. 

I try to be very thoughtful with the things I pack in shoeboxes, and like to choose items that I think my own kids would enjoy. I hate seeing the dollar store crap too!