The Country Handmaiden on chivalry

[2xx1xy1JD]

Shall I offer to treat Elizabeth to a copy of The Paper Bag Princess?

[lovefromgirl]

A chivalrous maiden always has her eyes cast down. She knows her true worth. She knows she is inferior to men, but she also knows that man has a responsibility to protect her from evils. She seeks his permanent love, trust, and protection.

Aw, HELL naw. Nobody's true worth is less than anyone else's unless they've done real evil, like genocide, rape, gone on a murder spree, that sort of thing.

A chivalrous maiden watches all of her passions. She keeps them all in check. She does not want anything unbecoming of a lady. She wants to be perfect for him. She keeps herself untarnished, untouched, completely and wholly innocent. . . A chivalrous maiden is always faithful. She is faithful unto death. For once she gives up her entire heart, she has no more love to give to anyone else. Who dare attempts to get in between her and the one she loves? . . . A chivalrous maiden falls in love with not the exterior of the man, but with his soul. Her soul slowly begins to bind with his soul. That is what she loves. This is what she must possess. She wants him completely. When she has fallen in love with him it is his presence, not his beauty, that captivates her.

Oy. Number one, I sure hope Miss Chivalrous M. never discovers the man she loves is permanently out of her reach (and I'm not talking celebrities, here). BTDT, rereading the angsty diary entries from when I was fourteen and stupid. Very. Very. Stupid. "Faithful unto death" to a "presence" that will never reciprocate is just not worth it.

This is how she chastely binds himself to her. She does not need words to show love. Love speaks in silence. Love uses the heart, and a chivalrous woman knows that. . . A chivalrous maiden is an overflowing fountain of unconditional love. She can never run out of her unconditional love. No matter the cost, no matter the pain, no matter the consequences. She is fearless of anything and everything for love only rules her.

Fourteen, stupid, and creepy, might I add. "Chastely binds himself" is dodgy grammar, first of all. Second, does it ever occur to her that he might not want to be bound? Third, what about that whole not giving one's heart until marriage bit? Not a fan of that, are we?

Colour me green. Not with envy. With nausea.

[emmiedahl]

She seems very young for her age.

Just wait for reality, girlfriend. Seriously, you think a few newborn bunnies are as bad as it gets? Nuh-uh.

Seriously, that Chivalrous Maiden bullshit is as good as its grammar, which is appalling. Why does she seem to think more of King Arthur than the Bible itself?

[MonkeyMomma]

She appears to have password protected it. :(

[Sobeknofret]

Damn it! She password protected it! All I could think of when I was reading it was 1. such a remarkable lack of grace on her part and 2. she's awfully young for her age. On the same post where she bitched about the "immodest" Native Americans she got bitchy that a "fat woman" walked into her picture. And then she posted the picture of the woman!

[desertvixen]

Seconding the dismay at the password protect... I guess she figured out the Free Jinger Jungle Cats were dropping by.

Maybe try reading through World Vision's guide to gift-giving, which at least explains how a donation to sponsor the purchase of practicals items such as goats and chickens encourages self-sufficiency. At some point, maybe you could do some dreaded math and realize that there is absolutely no purpose in you hand-delivering anything to Africa, since a donation of the price of a plane ticket could be used by a reputable aid agency to do some actual good.

Or, you know, maybe give through Heifer International. I got the new catalog today, and they have some cool package gifts.

[Lady_M]

She quoted this from somewhere, but did not credit it. This is back from March.

Notice how so much of this hinges on physical beauty like "appearance of an angel" for the woman. But when it comes to the man, she's supposed to not fall in love with the "exterior" of a man or "his beauty". Since by definition most people (me included) are fairly average in the looks department, I can't imagine how discouraging that idea must be to some of these girls.

Also, the whole "Her soul slowly begins to bind with his soul. That is what she loves. This is what she must possess. She wants him completely" is very creepy to me. It kind of reminds me of the dementors sucking out someone's soul in Harry Potter.

[penguinagogo]

The foundation of a chivalrous maiden is angelic elegance.

I have never read such unmitigated drivel and Ive been fundy haunting for a while now. Some quotes from a useful polemic spring to mind....

'She is more body than soul,more soul than mind.To her belongs all that is beautiful, even the very word beauty itself. Her value is solely attested by the demand she excites in others. All she must contribute is her existence. She need achieve nothing, for she is the reward of achievement. She need never give positive evidence of her moral character because virtue is assumed from her loveliness, and her passivity.'

'Women are self-sacrificing in direct proportion to their incapacity to offer anything but this sacrifice. They sacrifice what they never had: a self.'

'This is nothing more than a blueprint for the approved woman

and as such it presents an artificial unattainable ideal. Such a woman

cannot be a person, for she does not exist in her own terms at all.

Her significance can only be conferred by the presence of a man at

her side, a man upon whom she absolutely depends. In return for

renouncing, collaborating, adapting, identifying, she

is caressed, desired, handled, influenced and occasionally desired

in vain. It is a bad bargain for a man for she makes no attempt to

excite or interest him, so he cannot expect to be handled or influenced

by her.'

'What right can this creature have to demand ardent love and desire,

seeing as she is powerless to offer it? She is a vain, demanding,

servile bore'

minor edit for riffles

[notsocommon]

I just tried to " spend hours in silence, gazing with my whole heart at hubby's soul." He told me to knock it off. I did not even get five minutes to gaze at his manly, man *cougncreampuffsoftiecough* soul.

[notacleverpony]

Well, that didn't take long.

Wow. The past week has been so eventful for me. In addition to tons of schoolwork, my family and I went on a trip this past weekend to visit my brother, and we just got back. So I'm trying to catch up on things.

You may be wondering why my blog was password protected for a few days. No, I was not trying to exclude you all from my recent doings. There was a group of rather uncharitable people who found my blog and started to make fun of me, my Faith, and the biblical femininity which I strive to follow. To them, femininity was a joke.

Femininity isn't the joke, sugarplum. Ruffles and lace suit me and surely many other FJers down to the ground. The joke is your narrow-minded, heavy-handed, hypocritical one-size-fits-all view on what makes a woman feminine (and therefore worthy of common human decency, except not TOO much common human decency, since you explicitly wrote that women are INFERIOR TO MEN).

We're not laughing at femininity. We're laughing at YOU.

(Also, there's not too much in the Bible about tea parties and frilly dresses.)

But I'm a very strong "suit yourself" type of person, so I have decided to take the password off and let them rant about it as much as they please, so long as they keep their discussions to their own little forums and off of my blog.

ZOMG, you guise, look how totally unfazed she is! She doesn't care WHAT we say about her, as long as she has no idea that it exists so that she can perpetuate her little echo chamber without ever being questioned or challenged about her ignorance and lack of empathy! Such strength of character! Take me now, Miss Elizabeth! *swooooooon!*

Any comments from here on out that are digging or unkind will be promptly deleted without being read.

Wait, if they're going to be deleted without being read, how will you know if the comments are "digging or unkind"? This seems to imply (to me, anyway) that someone else in her family, maybe the good ol' patriarch, will review and sanitize the comments before Miss Elizabeth even sees them and gets the vapors. You know, since she's a very strong "suit yourself" type of person.

As some of you saw, I did publish the first of those comments and responded to it in length, but after that one Dad advised me to ignore the rest as usually these people will never give up. It made me think of this verse from the Bible:

“If the world hate you, know ye, that it hath hated me before you. If you had been of the world, the world would love its own: but because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. Remember my word that I said to you: The servant is not greater than his master. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you: if they have kept my word, they will keep yours also." John 15:18-20 DRA

Oh, for Celestia's sake. That was not persecution, you silly bint. That was challenging your pinheaded ideas with facts and alternate viewpoints, and then mocking bad behavior when you threw a tantrum and flounced. If you were as strong in your faith as you claim, you'd not only have answers for our questions, but you'd be willing to share them. And since I was raised as a homeschooled, domestic trad-Catholic (very much like you, actually), I can quote the Douay-Rheims too:

"But sanctify the Lord Christ in your hearts, being ready always to satisfy every one that asketh you a reason of that hope which is in you." 1 Peter 3:15 DRA

God bless you all, my dear followers! It is you and your continued insight and support that is such an inspiration for me to keep blogging here in this little corner of the vast world.

Translate to read: "Thinking is hard! Questions are scary! Just tell me nice things so I never have to be challenged to learn new things and potentially change my mind and grow as a person! Taking pictures of soap and flowers is much easier."

[desertvixen]

A link from her blog - it pretty much goes along with the rest of this post.

catholicyoungwoman.blogspot.com/2011/06/flip-side-of-chivalry.html

As young women in society, we have a special role in being on the receiving end of chivalry. In a certain sense, in today’s world it is actually up to women whether men act like men.

Realize that she is probably addressing her blog towards other young women, but gentlemen would help all women, not just young, pretty ones.

A student can get a degree in something called “Women’s Studies,†for instance, but there simply isn’t anything called “Men’s Studies.â€

Try looking in the catalog under "History".

It is the fault of women when they usurp what is properly the role of men. When they push themselves to the front, and automatically take charge of all of life’s sundry dilemmas, they can impede the men around them from stepping up to the plate and being truly chivalrous and self-sacrificing.

Shocker, I know - everything is women's fault.

Now, this requires a fine line of distinction. This does not mean that women shouldn’t have careers or management positions, or that a woman has to let a foolish man take the lead just because he’s a man. But it does mean allowing good men to assume the roles of leadership and of protection that come naturally to them. A man can’t step into his boots if a woman is already wearing them herself. Quite simply, women must allow men to be chivalrous by not getting in the way of their chivalry.

Well, I appreciate the partial nod to reality.

If they don’t both fulfill their roles properly, the whole relationship, like a dance, doesn’t work. I’m used to being self-sufficient and independent. I am perfectly able to open a door on my own, carry moderately heavy loads, wait my turn in lines behind a guy, etc. But it is actually up to me—up to all women—to allow men to be chivalrous, or they never can. With practice, there are little things I’ve learned to do to help me pursue this goal: for example, waiting that extra second to let the fellow walking alongside me reach the door first, so he at least has the opportunity to hold it open for me, instead of pushing through on my own.

Or, we could try teaching this whole thing called "courtesy" where PEOPLE help PEOPLE because it is polite.

There's a male article on chivalry that's laugh-worthy. youthofeternity.wordpress.com/chivalry/

At least it endorses politeness towards all, even if I agree with the commenter who complains that he is using chivalry as a synonym for politeness, and there is an overabundance of "the world will hate you" and "be a knight in shining armor".

My favorite is the author's comment where he says this:

ALL of chivalry’s values are biblical, making IT biblical

. I'm gong to guess he's unfamiliar with medieval chivalry, which often included coveting (if not acting on that covetousness) other men's wives.

[RosyDaisy]

Holding doors, giving up one's seat, etc. for BOTH sexes is just plain good manners where I come from. There's nothing chivalrous about it, and it doesn't imply the person on the receiving end is incapable or helpless. She/he just has their hands full at the moment and could use a little assistance. These women who write about chivalry are emotionally stunted and see male/female relationships in terms of a fairytale.

[VoiP]

She password-locked it, huh? Boy, the future rulers of the earth sure are delicate.

"Future rulers of the earth:" this is the group that runs the school her brother goes to:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_ ... d_Property

And this is the man that began it:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plinio_Co ... e_Oliveira

And here are some things they believe:

The American TFP promotes what it sees as the values of Christianity, and opposes liberal and egalitarian ideas, policies, and trends in both society as a whole and in the Catholic Church...[T]he group also argues for the need for authentic elites in society that raise, above all, the moral tone of general society, as witnessed by de Oliveira's Nobility & Analogous Traditional Elites in the Allocutions of Pius XII. In this book, de Oliveira seeks to balance the notion of "preferential option for the poor" idea in some modern liberal Catholic social thinking, with support for the natural elite that exists in all societies, according to the teaching of Pius XII, that they may become the obligated class working for the good of society...

[Closed Womb]

Try looking in the catalog under "History".

I love your response here, desertvixen! So true. And yet, a feminist friend of mine did her English Lit dissertation in Men's studies/masculinity (why, yes, there were copies of Playboy at her defense.) She might be surprised to know there isn't anything called Men's studies.

Incidentally, handmaiden, many universities now have a Gender Studies department rather than "Women's Studies." Not that the Women's Studies degrees or departments EVER emasculated men.

And, FWIW, my hubs was born with a serious heart condition; for about two years he couldn't life anything more than a few pounds. Carrying groceries left him out of breath (a surgical heart reconstruction fixed that; he is well now.) For those two years I did all the heavy lifting in our house; no feed sacks, but cases of water, 50 lb buckets of chlorine tablets, and many other things necessary for our daily lives. It's no wonder he doesn't love me anymore. Oh, wait, that's not it at all...he loves me all the more. Somehow, he still sees me as a woman, still opens the car door for me, still treats me like a queen. And he has not been emasculated, let me assure you.

[JMarie]

I did some more digging. Her younger brother is going to this boarding school:

http://www.montfortacademy.edu

I am incredibly suspicious of any school that claims it is staffed by "full-time volunteers." The volunteers come from the American Society for the Defense of Tradition, Family, and Property.

http://www.tfp.org

Again, I am incredibly suspicious of any group that takes its moral cues from the Crusades. Has anybody heard of this? It's reminding me of Waiting for the Apocalypse, when the author's brothers are sent to join some kind of shadow Catholic army.

The school has thirty students for six grades. Not thirty students in each of six grades, thirty students total spread out among six grades. I guess the being under my father's protection thing doesn't matter if it's a male child.

http://www.privateschoolreview.com/scho ... l_id/24829

I wonder if she was the only Confirmation sponsor wearing a mantilla.

[2xx1xy1JD]

This is the comment from the school's spiritual mentor on the tragic case of the raped Brazilian 9 yr old who was pregnant with twins, and the ex-communication of those who took part in her abortion (although no ex-communication was given to her rapist):

http://www.tfp.org/tfp-home/news-commen ... rinho.html

[Jinger Jar]

This is the comment from the school's spiritual mentor on the tragic case of the raped Brazilian 9 yr old who was pregnant with twins, and the ex-communication of those who took part in her abortion (although no ex-communication was given to her rapist):

http://www.tfp.org/tfp-home/news-commen ... rinho.html

I have to give the author credit for including so many fundie Catholic code words/phrases: liberal media, the Catholic left, the pro-abortion movement, evil, fidelity, wickedness, and feminists. On the other hand the culture of death wasn't mentioned, which was a bit of a disappointment.

[2xx1xy1JD]

The piece isn't even internally consistent within it's alternate reality. (Big surprise, right?)

I mean, did the Big Bad Forces of Feminism practically kidnap the mother and child, and browbeat the illiterate mother into consenting to the procedure? Or was the mother herself active in arranging and consenting to the abortion, knowing full well what she was doing? If it's the first, why would you be defending the priest who ex-communicated her?

I won't even get into the extreme science fail, except as an example of all the reasons that "except for the life of the mother" can really mean "until the mother is at death's door and it may be far too late to save her". Fetuses, of course, can grow, so the fact that the 9 yr old child wasn't completely incapacitated at 4 mos gestation means nothing. It's not hard to recognize that those two fetuses will be considerably larger at 6 mos. gestation, that they could easily overwhelm the body of a 9 yr old child, that bringing the pregnancy to term could kill her, that a c-section could also pose substantial risks, and that the fetuses themselves would be in extreme danger if delivered at 24 weeks.

[dairyfreelife]

The piece isn't even internally consistent within it's alternate reality. (Big surprise, right?)

I mean, did the Big Bad Forces of Feminism practically kidnap the mother and child, and browbeat the illiterate mother into consenting to the procedure? Or was the mother herself active in arranging and consenting to the abortion, knowing full well what she was doing? If it's the first, why would you be defending the priest who ex-communicated her?

I won't even get into the extreme science fail, except as an example of all the reasons that "except for the life of the mother" can really mean "until the mother is at death's door and it may be far too late to save her". Fetuses, of course, can grow, so the fact that the 9 yr old child wasn't completely incapacitated at 4 mos gestation means nothing. It's not hard to recognize that those two fetuses will be considerably larger at 6 mos. gestation, that they could easily overwhelm the body of a 9 yr old child, that bringing the pregnancy to term could kill her, that a c-section could also pose substantial risks, and that the fetuses themselves would be in extreme danger if delivered at 24 weeks.

Yep. Good friend of mine had twins at age 21, at 5'4" her body delivered the twins 9.5 weeks early and one still has a lot of problems even over a year later. Having twins concerns me even know at nearly 24, but at 9? That's terrifying. Honestly, it seems every single time a pro-life "advocate" opens their mouth, they prove they are anything but pro-life.

Oh, for Celestia's sake. That was not persecution, you silly bint. That was challenging your pinheaded ideas with facts and alternate viewpoints, and then mocking bad behavior when you threw a tantrum and flounced. If you were as strong in your faith as you claim, you'd not only have answers for our questions, but you'd be willing to share them.

I do love it when these "christians" claim when someone questions them they are being persecuated. And they compare it to Jesus. According to the story, Jesus was kicked at, spat at, had things literally thrown at him, carried a heavy wooden cross up a steep hill, physically nailed to it, had a crown of thorns pressed against his head and was left to die because the government saw him as a blasphemous threat for questioning the current laws and status quo. Being told they may be wrong is totally the same, right? Right?

Yes, Elizabeth is just like Jesus and we all hate her. :roll: No, I hate her beliefs, hate what those beliefs do to people and hate that she has had all that nonsense pumped into her by her family. I hate that she doesn't see just what's so wrong with those ideas. I hate that she has been taught to believe she in inferior to men and that she has to stroke a man's ego constantly. I hate that such ideas make her vulnerable to an abusive relationship one day. I do not hate her. She's naive, been brainwashed into the nonsense and I want her to see reason. And yes, reason can happen. Former fundies are on this board and can attest to change. I hope she opens her eyes before it's too late. I hope she can escape the lifestyle and have support. She deserves better than the life she's been told she has to lead to be worthy.

[Lady_M]

No, I hate her beliefs, hate what those beliefs do to people and hate that she has had all that nonsense pumped into her by her family. I hate that she doesn't see just what's so wrong with those ideas. I hate that she has been taught to believe she in inferior to men and that she has to stroke a man's ego constantly. I hate that such ideas make her vulnerable to an abusive relationship one day. I do not hate her. She's naive, been brainwashed into the nonsense and I want her to see reason. And yes, reason can happen. Former fundies are on this board and can attest to change. I hope she opens her eyes before it's too late. I hope she can escape the lifestyle and have support. She deserves better than the life she's been told she has to lead to be worthy.

This.

[RosyDaisy]

I do love it when these "christians" claim when someone questions them they are being persecuated.

I think it shows the lack of confidence in themselves and their so-called "doctrine."

[shesinsane]

From the article 2xx1xy1JD linked:

On March 3, the news agency BBCNews-Brasil said “Yesterday saw the birth of the daughter of the 11-year old girl who became pregnant after being sexually abused by her adoptive father in Iraí. A Caesarean section was performed. Obstetrician Claudio José Furini, who performed the operation in Tenente Portela, affirms the birth took place without complications

Maybe I'm mistaken, but isn't abdominal surgery a complication? I could see the doctor saying no complications if she had had a c-section with a previous pregnancy, but I don't think the 11 year old has other kids.