Maxwell Bedroom

[sadies corner]

In my opinion, and speaking from personal experience, dressing alike as a family has nothing to do with being robots. It simply means that there is more family unity than most people know, or could understand

[Koala]

No I haven't, but if she REALLY wanted to escape, she wouldn't be living with her family

Because people never stay in unhappy situations, and what 30 year old woman wouldn't want to share a room with her two little sisters :roll:

[sadies corner]

Actually I'm not...I've been through emotional abuse, but have accepted the fact that I brought it on myself, because of things I had done, and I have chosen to be under my parent's authority, even though I am in my late 20's...and I'm not brainwashed, either!

[Witsec7]

In my opinion, and speaking from personal experience, dressing alike as a family has nothing to do with being robots. It simply means that there is more family unity than most people know, or could understand

So a family unit is more cohesive if they dress alike? Do you have any facts to back up your claims?

[bouncyball]

Actually I'm not...I've been through emotional abuse, but have accepted the fact that I brought it on myself, because of things I had done, and I have chosen to be under my parent's authority, even though I am in my late 20's...and I'm not brainwashed, either!

This is just really sad. It is not your fault you were abused. Every human being has the duty to treat people with respect and care, and if someone abused you then they have clearly violated that. Please, seek therapy.

[Koala]

In my opinion, and speaking from personal experience, dressing alike as a family has nothing to do with being robots. It simply means that there is more family unity than most people know, or could understand

Family unity is not defined my everyone in the family wearing matching frumpers. Family unity is recognizing the unique differences and tastes of the individuals in the family and respecting that enough to not pretend like they don't exist.

[Koala]

I have chosen to be under my parent's authority, even though I am in my late 20's...and I'm not brainwashed, either!

This says it all folks.

[singsingsing]

Actually I'm not...I've been through emotional abuse, but have accepted the fact that I brought it on myself, because of things I had done, and I have chosen to be under my parent's authority, even though I am in my late 20's...and I'm not brainwashed, either!

If you ARE a troll, just stop. That's a really shitty thing to troll about. If you're not, look, you really need help. You ARE brainwashed if you think you brought emotional abuse on yourself. I don't even know what to say to this. Speaking as someone who has been emotionally abused and did blame myself for a long time, this makes me ill.

[MissBeaufort]

No I haven't, but if she REALLY wanted to escape, she wouldn't be living with her family

And where, exactly, would she find the resources to leave if she "REALLY wanted to escape"? She has no work experience and likely little to no money - she has no friends that she can run to, no education that she can fall back on. You can be resigned to something, but that isn't the same as wanting it.

[Koala]

ps. If you are a woman in your late 20's and you still believe you need your parents to have "authority" over you, then you still have a major problem, and if your parents agreed to said arrangement, then they are a big part of the problem.

[Deleted03]

This is just really sad. It is not your fault you were abused. Every human being has the duty to treat people with respect and care, and if someone abused you then they have clearly violated that. Please, seek therapy.

+1 you don't bring abuse to yourself, those people who abused you want you to think that, and people who tell you that you did bring bad things to yourself are abusing you.

It's great that you had a chance to see how the world works in different settings, that you have enough autonomy to get outside on your own, and have the opportunities. We are talking about a family where no one is ever alone, where they can't get outside of the home on their own, where college is never an option, being different from the rest of the family is not an option either. There is no other alternative, and no choice in what to do, because here is only one godly way and that's the father's way (even if he only is human). I don't believe any of the kids have any choice in their lives. I wish we could help them realize that their father does not talk to God and does not make godly rules. He only make his own micromanaging rules that are in his sole interest.

Just because you chose to be under someone's power does not mean that every SAHD has that same choice.

[sadies corner]

A father is responsible for his children's welfare until they are married

[Koala]

A father is responsible for his children's welfare until they are married

You're an adult woman. You are responsible for your own welfare.

[Koala]

+1 you don't bring abuse to yourself, those people who abused you want you to think that, and people who tell you that you did bring bad things to yourself are abusing you.

Amen.

[sadies corner]

And I have chosen to be under my parents, until I am married...it is my decision, not something I have been brainwashed into believing

[Witsec7]

+1 you don't bring abuse to yourself, those people who abused you want you to think that, and people who tell you that you did bring bad things to yourself are abusing you.

It's great that you had a chance to see how the world works in different settings, that you have enough autonomy to get outside on your own, and have the opportunities. We are talking about a family where no one is ever alone, where they can't get outside of the home on their own, where college is never an option, being different from the rest of the family is not an option either. There is no other alternative, and no choice in what to do, because here is only one godly way and that's the father's way (even if he only is human). I don't believe any of the kids have any choice in their lives. I wish we could help them realize that their father does not talk to God and does not make godly rules. He only make his own micromanaging rules that are in his sole interest.

Just because you chose to be under someone's power does not mean that every SAHD has that same choice.

And where the hell were her parents when this abuse was taking place? Wasn't she under the cover of her father? Wasn't it his job to protect her?

Or was he one of the individuals responsible for making her believe the abuse was her fault?

[Koala]

And I have chosen to be under my parents, until I am married...it is my decision, not something I have been brainwashed into believing

Do you feel you aren't capable of making your own decisions and choices? Why do you need the authority of your parents?

[Deleted03]

And I have chosen to be under my parents, until I am married...it is my decision, not something I have been brainwashed into believing

yeah we got it, but it does not mean you can expand your experience on other people's lives.

Unless you are Sarah. And then we have a lot to talk about. Including how people can get out of their house and not sin. How you have self-control.

So you are gonna get married? Through courtship? will your parents be the ones to present you someone? Will they have veto power?

How much freedom do you have? Are you browsing the forum on your own? Can you go out? Would your parents be bothered if you chose on your own to get therapy to accept that you did not bring emotional abuse to yourself?

[NurseNell]

A father is responsible for his children's welfare until they are married

No. A mother and father are responsible for their children's welfare until the children reach adulthood, which is legally age 18. Only if a child is special needs can a parent go to court when that child is 18 and be appointed guardian. Otherwise, once you are 18 you are responsible for your welfare. Sometimes parents help out, as with college tuition but that 18 y.o. adult is free to vote for who she wants, live her life the way she wants, and make her own decisions.

[sadies corner]

I'm not Sarah Maxwell, but chances are, she has alot more freedom than you think

[sadies corner]

You are right about making my own decisions, and I choose to continue to look to my parents for guidance until I am married. There is nothing skewd or weird about it

[lilwriter85]

The Maxwell kids overall are very stunted, but they don't realize it. Sarah probably does escape to Uriah to write as another poster mentioned. In a way I'm glad that the bus around for her sake. I have a cousin who is 21 and living at home while attending college and working part time. She fits into 19-24 group that Anna and the reversal boys are in. My cousin isn't under of the control of Mommy and Daddy. She has more independence than 30 year old Sarah does. I also know a few people who in their late 20s slightly younger than Sarah and they live at home because of different reasons such as as previous job losses, returning to college, career changes, and other life changes. If they had to constantly hang out with their parents and siblings or share rooms with younger siblings, they would go crazy. One of my friends divorced at age 27, she lived at home with her parents for a about a year after the divorce. She dealt with depression during that time and she said being around her parents helped, but she didn't always hang out with them. Her parents offered to pay for her to travel with them to Italy and she said no because she wanted alone time. I bet Sarah wouldn't be able to say no to going to a conference or any other trip the Maxwells may take.

[Witsec7]

A father is responsible for his children's welfare until they are married

Apparently he was asleep at the wheel when you were being abused. Why do you think he missed the mark?

[Koala]

I'm not Sarah Maxwell, but chances are, she has alot more freedom than you think

If you don't know Sarah Maxwell, then what is that assumption based on?

If you are "under your parents authority" do they have the ability to discipline you? What does that look like for someone in their late 20's? Time out? Grounding?

[Coconut Flan]

I'm not Sarah Maxwell, but chances are, she has alot more freedom than you think

In what ways? What exactly is she free to do?