Maxwell Bedroom

[Hevcoh]

The thought of being a 30-year-old woman who still lives at home with mommy and daddy is unsettling enough. The thought of being a 30-year-old woman who still lives at home with mommy and daddy and has to share a room with two (considerably) younger sisters is just freaking creepy. Granted, living at home is often a matter of necessity in this economic climate, but anyone I know who's forced into that position has full autonomy and privacy, and is treated like the ADULT she/he is. Why does this family insist on infantilizing its adult children under the guise of sheltering and protecting? And what kind of psychological warfare would one have to wage on a child to make him or her accept this treatment as the norm?

I was going to write more or less the same thing, except with the addition that those folks who are most public about inflicting this on their children had a different upbringing... I'm really curious to see the next generation once these raised-in-freedom-locking-up-their-kids patriarchs are gone.

(As an addition, my 20, 19 and 18 year old boys share a room, with bunk beds.)

[gardenvarietycitizen]

The thought of being a 30-year-old woman who still lives at home with mommy and daddy is unsettling enough. The thought of being a 30-year-old woman who still lives at home with mommy and daddy and has to share a room with two (considerably) younger sisters is just freaking creepy. Granted, living at home is often a matter of necessity in this economic climate, but anyone I know who's forced into that position has full autonomy and privacy, and is treated like the ADULT she/he is. Why does this family insist on infantilizing its adult children under the guise of sheltering and protecting? And what kind of psychological warfare would one have to wage on a child to make him or her accept this treatment as the norm?

That's the thing - it's normal in plenty of places for kids to live in their family home with their family as adults, sometimes even after they get married and have kids of their own, so the house has two full generations in it, sometimes quite a few nuclear families.

But those kids, when they hit adulthood, are ADULTS, treated as full ADULTS. Yeah, the parents are older so they have status, but the kids are autonomous! They have jobs, they fully support the entire family economic well-being, they are full decision makers... it's just completely, completely different from the weird Maxwell existence. The original parents age and retire and become dependents of the kids, the kids eventually fully inherit the house, but it's like an economic home base for everyone. As adults. The Maxwells are "different."

They built their own house but no doubt they planned from day one that the "children" of the same sex (remember, they only built this house a few years ago, Sarah was already an adult) would share one room. No doubt if you asked the "children" they'd say they wanted it that way, but like you I wonder just how that sort of preference was formed.

As for masturbation though - surely they take showers alone? That's more than enough, plus just going into the bathroom... they have individual bunks, if they remain silent (and they would, if that's how it's been from day one), it's all a go :) I don't believe for a moment that none of them ever have a wank now and again. They probably blank it out of their thoughts when they're not actively "in the mood" but... yeah. :)

[TMS]

I'm mostly struck by how boring their room is. When I was a teenager, I had posters covering the walls, books everywhere. Anyone who stuck their heads in the room would have known immediately that a teenager lived there. There is absolutely nothing that we can see in that room that would give anyone even a remote clue as to what kind of person lives there.

I know!! My kids each have their own room and the rooms are decorated in their own styles. My son is a big Marvel comics nerd, so of course there are Marvel posters everywhere, in addition to elaborate Bionicles and Legos creations that he built when he was younger, and of course a huge collection of video games and 2 game systems (plus dirty underwear and socks all over the place when I forget to check in for a couple of days). One dd has movie posters, pictures of friends, and letters and postcards from friends stuck on every square inch of her walls, and my other dd has ladybugs and puppy dogs everywhere, plus pictures of friends and a poster signed by all her friends who came to her end-of-school sleepover in June. When their rooms are freshly vacuumed and the beds made, they look nice and clean (not pristine like the Maxwells) - but you can see their individual personalities. The poor Maxwell "kids" are not allowed any individuality.

[sadies corner]

How do you know there is no individuality? Have you met them personally?

[TMS]

How do you know there is no individuality? Have you met them personally?

Nope, you're right I haven't met them personally, but it just seems that they all do the same things together, all the time. They dress alike, they talk alike, they even play the same musical instruments, they even write alike. I always have to look at the author of their blog posts because they all sound the same. I watched a video of Nathan Maxwell talking, and he sounds almost exactly like his dad, whom I have listened to on audio. I have yet to see any individuality on their blog, and it looks like they are not allowed individuality in decorating their room. Of course, I'm making assumptions, I don't mind admitting that.

[Witsec7]

I don't believe for a moment that none of them ever have a wank now and again. They probably blank it out of their thoughts when they're not actively "in the mood" but... yeah.

I think they would be too guilt ridden to masturbate. If any of them did they would need to report it to their cult leader father. Then the whole family would need to pray over them for hours.

[clarinetpower]

I don't understand why taking photos of each person packing a bag, carrying a pack and play, standing in the kitchen, etc. is not considered making an idol of yourself. I mean, if you did it once, fine, but they do this ALL THE TIME. I don't need photos of my family packing a bag. I don't take pictures of myself dusting and put it on the internet. I do not document every outfit I wear, every smile my children smile, every activity we do, every meal I make, every time I clean the house. This is just plain ridiculous.

Why do they not see this as narcissism?

[bouncyball]

How do you know there is no individuality?

The heavy photographic and textual documentation in their own words?

[TMS]

I don't understand why taking photos of each person packing a bag, carrying a pack and play, standing in the kitchen, etc. is not considered making an idol of yourself. I mean, if you did it once, fine, but they do this ALL THE TIME. I don't need photos of my family packing a bag. I don't take pictures of myself dusting and put it on the internet. I do not document every outfit I wear, every smile my children smile, every activity we do, every meal I make, every time I clean the house. This is just plain ridiculous.

Why do they not see this as narcissism?

Ha, this made me laugh. I immediately thought of Candy.

[pixydust]

I think they would be too guilt ridden to masturbate. If any of them did they would need to report it to their cult leader father. Then the whole family would need to pray over them for hours.

There would be sobbing while praying over the "sin"....much sobbing.

[jockosmom]

I don't think they see it as narcissism because this is all they know. What else is there to take pictures of except themselves? They don't go very many places except to do their conferences. They don't have many experiences to talk about. What's left except the minutiae of their everyday lives (which of course, they're living for the LORD). Such a sad existence. I wouldn't want to be a Maxwell for all the tea in China.

[kpmom]

How do you know there is no individuality? Have you met them personally?

Apparently Fundy Fridays are beginning a day early this week.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

1. They shelter because they KNOW their beliefs will be rejected by normal teenagers and young adults

2. House is stuck in early 90s --I give them a pass on that. No one "needs" to redecorate and they DO seem to take good care of everything. If they like what they have that's fine, it's their house.

3. Adult child sharing a room with younger siblings. "Alone time" is "sin time" when the mind can wander to wicked thoughts not only of s-e-x, but also of "I wish I could wear that cute short dress I wasn't supposed to see on the way to the water-softener salt at Wal-Mart" or "For the love of Pete! Why do we have to eat those damned burritos every week? I blow up like a balloon!" or "Good gravy Mom needs to do her roots!" or especially, "talk to the hand, Dad...."

4. Again, poor Joe--freedom was "this" close........

[sadies corner]

What is Fundy Friday?

[SquirrelySquirrel]

I don't think they see it as narcissism because this is all they know. What else is there to take pictures of except themselves? They don't go very many places except to do their conferences. They don't have many experiences to talk about. What's left except the minutiae of their everyday lives (which of course, they're living for the LORD). Such a sad existence. I wouldn't want to be a Maxwell for all the tea in China.

This is what I was going to say. Poor Sarah has got to be so effing BORED. There's nothing for her to do but take the most boring pictures in the world and post them on the blog every day. The rest of family probably humors her and smiles for the camera out of pity at this point.

[Witsec7]

What is Fundy Friday?

Take a guess.

[MissBeaufort]

The heavy photographic and textual documentation in their own words?

:lol: Well said! It's kind of ridiculous, how keen they are to keep a record of exactly how bland their daily lives are.

[Letgo]

How big is their house? They had a chance to build a house to their specifications and they should have built one that gave each older child their own bedroom instead of having them share one like young children.

I think that the house they built has the same floorplan as the old house. I remember reading an old post about the building of the new house and how it came about, with Christopher wanting to buy a house and everything working out so perfectly. They just added a walkout or daylight basement in order to have space for storing and assembling the books, chorepacks, etc. I think maybe they can load boxes right into a truck or car now. They (read Steve) really liked the original floorplan of their home and kept it, adding the basement. The "children" probably always shared rooms so there was no need to add more bedrooms simply because some of the them are in their thirties and still at home. Plus, I am sure it was much less expensive to only modify the old houseplan instead of paying for a new one, and they did not have to schedule in time for a new houseplan search. A win-win situation for them!

[lilwriter85]

I feel sorry for Sarah. She is 30 and stuck sharing a room with a 15-year old.

[kpmom]

I feel sorry for Sarah. She is 30 and stuck sharing a room with a 15-year old.

Now we know why she has to escape to Uriah to write her Moody books.

[sadies corner]

The question is, does she really view it as having to escape from her family?

[bouncyball]

The question is, does she really view it as having to escape from her family?

How do you know she views it otherwise? Have you ever met her personally?

[sparkles]

How do you know there is no individuality? Have you met them personally?

No, I haven't met them personally and probably never will (unless they decide to hold a conference near NYC, which...when hell freezes over). But the face they present to the world is bland, beige and devoid of any individuality or personality. How could they possibly develop as individuals? They're NEVER alone and apparently their daily existence is run on a schedule so tight and unyielding that it would make the Japanese rail system seem more like the New York subways. The children are treated like children, regardless of their physical age (emotionally, they all seem behind the curve). The dressing alike alone is enough to send shivers down my spine. Their lives are too narrowly defined to permit individuality. And it's much easier to Steve to control a family of robots. They also seem to wear their blandness like a badge of honor.

[sadies corner]

No I haven't, but if she REALLY wanted to escape, she wouldn't be living with her family

[Witsec7]

No I haven't, but if she REALLY wanted to escape, she wouldn't be living with her family

You are woefully ignorant of spiritual and emotional abuse.