Zack Bates and Sarah Reith Courtship Kaput

[snickerz]

The Reiths don't have small children, do they? Maybe Adddallleeeee was sent along for Sarah to practice on. Zach & Michaella could watch & judge her mothering capabilities. That and the fact that Michaella is her "real" mother. And that her real mother can't be bothered with her.

[xReems]

I cringe whenever I think of Zack asking Sarah to court. That poor guy was so nervous and the whole procedure (I don't know what else to call it) was so awkward. Zack reminded of a zoo animal who has spent his entire life in captivity and never learned how to behave naturally around other animals. I wonder if he and Sarah ever started feeling comfortable around each other? If not, that could be why the courtship failed.

Maybe she realized that they didn't have much to talk about or he might have been suffocating her. He does look like one of those obnoxious clingy men, especially with the way he got over emotional. You know one of those over sweet and emotional guys who think they're being sweet but are just too much? Yeah, that's what Zack reminds me off. I think he got way too emotional and let that get the best of him.

Eh, she dodged a major bullet, so good for her.

[Georgiana]

I've always wondered if maybe some of the "smaller" QF/ATI families have a more mitigated stance towards childbearing. The Bates/Duggars certainly believe in having as many babies as possible until death/menopause, but I wonder if there aren't other families who quietly believe that it's OK to take a few years between kids or hold off for health concerns. I suspect there might be families who do believe there are reasons to at least use the rhythm method. I can't imagine Zack EVER considering this, however.

If Sarah did hold even the smallest belief that there might someday be a reason why she might want to abstain from birthing for a time, I can imagine that the prospect of marring someone like Zack would have been terrifying. Especially if she had reason to fear medical concerns or had watched someone close to her have a difficult pregnancy. I can even see her parents calling it off for something like this.

Plus, she's a pretty girl who tours with her family (so she's not as isolated as most SAHD are). There are other fish in the sea.

[NJMom]

I'll bet one of the reasons that the Bates got this 10 episode show from TLC was because Zach and Sarah were courting. Isn't that pretty much how 19 Kids and Counting got started....with Josh and Anna's engagement? I wonder if their show will be renewed after this summer. Then again, I can't see how the Duggar's show keeps managing to get renewed. I guess we'll see a Jinger/Joseph graduation party at their house in an episode, I'm sure TLC was right there filming it.

[gilora]

I have a huge problem with their sending Addalee with Zach, when he was supposedly going to "court'. She is a fairly small child, and would need attention and caring. I know Michaella was with them, but that's beside the point; why do you send a very young sibling along as a chaperone??

Because nothing quells the "urge" faster or better than a small child. Except maybe 2 small children.

[xReems]

I'm hoping that they don't show a segment explaining the failed courtship. It's bad enough Kelly gave Sarah the 3rd degree burn by pointing the finger at her for calling it off..it would be a slap in the face for Sarah if they explain on camera what happened. That would be rude and inconsiderate on their part then. According to Kelly, in the comments section, Anna gave her, surprisingly, some advice on how they should have held off on filming the courtship video until the engagement. As much as Anna annoys me, she was right with giving that advice to Kelly. No one knew Josh was in a courtship until he announced his engagement. Zack should have held off on filming the courtship video until he was about to propose to her. Like I said, he definitely let his emotions get to him and the poor boy just ran with it. Bad move, Zack, bad move.

[FaeT]

I'll bet one of the reasons that the Bates got this 10 episode show from TLC was because Zach and Sarah were courting. Isn't that pretty much how 19 Kids and Counting got started....with Josh and Anna's engagement? I wonder if their show will be renewed after this summer. Then again, I can't see how the Duggar's show keeps managing to get renewed. I guess we'll see a Jinger/Joseph graduation party at their house in an episode, I'm sure TLC was right there filming it.

Oddly enough, In all of the nearly 60 pictures, I don't remember seeing a film crew.

[Sprocket]

Sorry, we all misunderstood. It wasn't a courtship, it was "dating with a purpose." :roll:

Dear Randy,

Yes, dating can also have a commitment to purity, if the two involved are committed to that resolve. Although, regular dating doesn’t always focus on any type of commitment… often, dating is done just for fun and one person could easily date several dozens of people before settling down to pursue a more serious relationship. During that time, purity is often not a priority. We have a pastor friend that chooses to call it “dating with a purpose,†and shares the same desire for purity. I don’t think the goal of trying to find the right person to marry is embarrassing. Ending a relationship, whether you call it dating with purpose or courtship, obviously can be heartbreaking… but if purity, friendship, and discernment to find God’s will for your future have been achieved… they can have peace with their decisions, rather than guilt. God bless, Kelly

ETA:

Dear Randy,

I like both of those titles of description of the relationship (referring to “dating with purity†and “dating with purposeâ€â€¦ both distinguish a difference from traditional dating). Thank you for your input. Love, Kelly

[Sprocket]

Dear Randy,

Sometimes hindsight is the best teacher! After we had already filmed, Anna Duggar wisely relayed that it might be best to wait to film during engagement when a relationship is a little more certain… but we had not thought through that. I guess it will be up to each of the children to decide. They asked Zach, and he asked the Reiths about filming. It seemed that it was done respectfully and innocently, and it was certainly part of Zach’s life. It was a growing experience… and a learning one. Sometimes embarrassment can lead to humility (recognizing our weaknesses apart from Christ’s strength), so in that reguard, if the end result brings greater humility and discernment… then the old hymn rings true, “It Will Be Worth It All.†I hope he and Sarah will both be able to look back with confidence, knowing that Christ was at work in each of their lives all the while. I guess we’ll wait on the greater picture to unfold, and take each step as a lesson of life with faith to face a new day, a new challenge, and a new joy! Love, Kelly

And I wonder how much they were paid for that part of "Zach's life"???

[xReems]

I take back what I said in my previous post about the courtship video--I have no problem with it being filmed, if both parties are okay with it, but what bothered me is the fact that this video was shown twice on television-one when they did the special on TLC and the second time on 19 Kids and Counting. Sarah was in the video, so I wonder if Gil, Kelly, and even Zack made sure if it was okay to put that video on tv by asking Sarah. This was a personal thing that should have been kept private but clearly this family is money hungry and will do anything for attention, even if it ended up costing his son's courtship and marriage.

[Witsec7]

I take back what I said in my previous post about the courtship video--I have no problem with it being filmed, if both parties are okay with it, but what bothered me is the fact that this video was shown twice on television-one when they did the special on TLC and the second time on 19 Kids and Counting. Sarah was in the video, so I wonder if Gil, Kelly, and even Zack made sure if it was okay to put that video on tv by asking Sarah. This was a personal thing that should have been kept private but clearly this family is money hungry and will do anything for attention, even if it ended up costing his son's courtship and marriage.

It's likely a blanket release was signed prior to putting it on teevee.

[Deleted07]

ppffft a lot of the leghumper comments on the Bates blog pretty much sound like the Christian version of "Sarah is a little spoilt bitch, thank god you didn't marry her! - She's not good enough for you!". Or at least thats my interpretation of some of their words!

[desertvixen]

I suspect that if Zach and Sarah had ever been left alone, they would not have immediately had sex. They have enough internal controls based on years of indoctrination. But super-controlling parents can't believe this. So they invented courtship, which is a way for parents to say, "Let me be involved in this! You need me here, too! You can't handle this on your own!"

This... they believe their control is the only thing keeping their kids from turning into Godless savages. Which doesn't say much for their parenting.

[divadivine]

Just looking at Sarah's family band blog website Southern Raised, and I can't seem to find any photos or posts featuring Zach, except for one from August 2011...

http://southernraisedbluegrass.com/pics ... estival-1/

They obviously went through and deleted some posts, I seem to remember quite a few photos of him and her on their band blog with him following her around to various music festivals and such, and also their announcing the courtship, all having been taken down!

This is all thats left:

*awkward*

OH SWEET JESUS.... those FUGLY Matching Shirts..................... STUPID FUNDIES STOP THE MATCHING OUTFIT THING YOU LOOK LIKE TWITS!!!!!

[FloraDoraDolly]

This... they believe their control is the only thing keeping their kids from turning into Godless savages. Which doesn't say much for their parenting.

Forget about sex. I doubt Zack would have even kissed Sarah on the mouth if the two of them had been left alone. He has such a difficult time just sitting next to her and talking to her.

[Jezebel Duggar]

Somebody please quote those two things she wrote and ask her. LOL

You got it! I doubt it will be there for long, but here is what I posted:

By Belle D, July 14, 2012@7:38 am

Kelly, in this post you list what you call three main goals of the courtship. Yet, in an answer to a commenter on your “It’s Official†post you said “By Gil, June 28, 2011 @ 5:52 am Dear Karen,

For us, courtship is like a pre-engagement stage. It allows them the chance to get to know each other on a closer emotional level than just getting to know each other on a friendship basis. The difference between dating and courtship is in the goals & commitment involved. Often people date for fun and companionship, but not neccesarily with marriage in mind. They may have dated quite a large number of people before settling down to the person they decide to marry. Courtship comes after spending time with the person and their family and getting to know them enough to sense God’s leading them toward marriage. During courtship they can “date†(We prefer chaperoned time together to avoid temptations that accompany being alone together). Its different from what most people call dating though, because there is a definite plan to move toward engagement and then marriage. Love, Kellyâ€

So which is it Kelly? When you announced the courtship, you said the definite plan was engagement and marriage. Now you say there were 3 other main goals. Everyone knows the goal was marriage, so for you to say it was a success is ridiculous. Why don’t you just admit it was not a success?

And if (as you posted last year) Zach sensed God leading them toward marriage, what happened? Did God decide to pull a U-turn? Or was Zach just attracted to her, as the rest of us when we date? I don’t think your series will be a success if you keep the attitude that the Bates are better than most everyone else, and your way of doing things is better than ours.

[formergothardite]

You got it! I doubt it will be there for long, but here is what I posted:

:clap: I doubt it will last long, it shows how they are lying to make it look like it wasn't a complete failure ending with Zack having a broken heart just as if he had dated.

[donks]

The look on that girls face in the brown shirt pic says it all: frozen smile, scared eyes. She's horrified!

[formergothardite]

You would think that going the whole, buying matching shirts and posing for tons of pictures together (not touching!) and then breaking up would make the break-up way harder than if they had just gone the dating route and then breaking up. I didn't sit around posing for engagement like pictures with the first guy I dated, I think we had like one photo snapped at a party. No matching shirts.

[Deleted07]

I also noticed at the Reiths site and blog, that they are not allowing comments, I tried to leave a comment of support but I had to login and there was nowhere to register. Very interesting.

[donks]

I also noticed at the Reiths site and blog, that they are not allowing comments, I tried to leave a comment of support but I had to login and there was nowhere to register. Very interesting.

I bet all the Bates leghumpers were planning a mass attack with their poor grammar and worse spelling. Like, DAMN. Leave that poor girl and her family alone!

[formergothardite]

That outfit does not flatter Zack at all.

[FaeT]

I also noticed at the Reiths site and blog, that they are not allowing comments, I tried to leave a comment of support but I had to login and there was nowhere to register. Very interesting.

Maybe you can email?? She definitely needs support right now. What is with fundie families and their obsession with everything being the woman's fault? Sarah pulled out and now everyone is giving support to the Bates family. Josh Beasley kills his wife and everyone throws tons of support to his family while conveniently not supporting her family. I hope people can see through this misogynistic bullshit. But sadly, I doubt it.

Go Sarah!

... is there a fundie support blog for people like Sarah and D&C Keller (and Suze keller, too I suppose)? A place where they can all talk to each other about how fucked up all this shit is?

[Sprocket]

I take back what I said in my previous post about the courtship video--I have no problem with it being filmed, if both parties are okay with it, but what bothered me is the fact that this video was shown twice on television-one when they did the special on TLC and the second time on 19 Kids and Counting. Sarah was in the video, so I wonder if Gil, Kelly, and even Zack made sure if it was okay to put that video on tv by asking Sarah. This was a personal thing that should have been kept private but clearly this family is money hungry and will do anything for attention, even if it ended up costing his son's courtship and marriage.

But I wonder how it was put to the Reith family. I would imagine (given that she was in total shock that he asked her to begin courting) that it was something along the lines of, "hey there will be a film crew here while you're visiting, is that okay?" Not, "hey, there will be a film crew here when I awkwardly ask your daughter to enter a courtship/pseudo propose marraiage."

[marmalade]

That outfit does not flatter Zack at all.

His ass rivals Rachael Ray's; talk about a Lard Lad! If you don't know her, google her. Classic "pear" figure, but not as flattering as soemone like JLo.