Zack Bates and Sarah Reith Courtship Kaput

[IReallyAmHopewell]

aybe Sarah's thinking twice about quitting her bluegrass band

Funny, I thought JOINING the band was why Zach was interested in her! That and her amazingly small family!

[OddlyAmused]

Maybe Sarah's thinking twice about quitting her bluegrass band and her nice life (for a fundie at least, with all the touring and performing she does) instead of settling with Zach in a small shack in Tennessee, where she'll always have 20 people from her hubby's family being in their business. Not counting all the "babysitting" she'd have to do with the Bates younglings from time to time.

Thanks but no thanks.

Not just the family (though that would be bad enough), but also the television cameras. It's entirely possible that while she might like performing with her family, she might not want her life to be on television for people (like us) to examine. Then again, the family probably wants to have the information released only on the show so they can get more people to watch.

[velly]

Is it mean of me to get a tiny bit of pleasure in the idea of failed courtships? it proves how stupid the system is as well as delay these people breeding even longer... Less breeding time means fewer little fundies.

As if they'd let the courtship failed... this would indicate they have a say in the matter and isn't that all fundies stand against?

[sonny]

Several things I noticed about the Bates/ Reith courtship. I noticed that Kelly stopped answering questions about Zach and Sarah since December. Southern Raised has taken down all of the pictures and blogs about the couple off their website. They even removed the pictures they took when they vacationed with the Bates.

[lilith]

Maybe we should ask Baylee, being the bates' bff and all.. :roll:

She'll show up soon, she can never resist a Bates thread.

[Fundilicious]

Several things I noticed about the Bates/ Reith courtship. I noticed that Kelly stopped answering questions about Zach and Sarah since December. Southern Raised has taken down all of the pictures and blogs about the couple off their website. They even removed the pictures they took when they vacationed with the Bates.

I noticed this too. The posts about the courtship, etc. is still up on the Bate's site, but I noticed everything was taken off of the southern bluegrass blog. So it will be interesting to see if both parties (the Bates and Reiths) are just keeping quiet for TLC, or the courtship is off and the Reith's are disposing of anything that would remind them of the fact. Only time will tell.

[Maude]

I noticed this too. The posts about the courtship, etc. is still up on the Bate's site, but I noticed everything was taken off of the southern bluegrass blog. So it will be interesting to see if both parties (the Bates and Reiths) are just keeping quiet for TLC, or the courtship is off and the Reith's are disposing of anything that would remind them of the fact. Only time will tell.

I wouldn't be surprised if the courtship was ended. As has been pointed out, they just looked really awkward together. Sarah didn't seem the least bit interested in Zach.

[FloraDoraDolly]

Courtship might work better if the people involved were from the same church/community and actually knew each other before they began courting. Somewhere (probably on the old Free Jinger forum) someone counted the number of times Josh and Anna saw each other before they got married. It was amazingly low, like seven or eight. And of course, none of that time was spent alone where they could really talk.

[Maude]

Courtship might work better if the people involved were from the same church/community and actually knew each other before they began courting. Somewhere (probably on the old Free Jinger forum) someone counted the number of times Josh and Anna saw each other before they got married. It was amazingly low, like seven or eight. And of course, none of that time was spent alone where they could really talk.

Josh and Anna seem oddly suited to each other though. A fluke/coincidence, or was Anna just malleable enough, do you think?

[lilith]

Josh and Anna seem oddly suited to each other though. A fluke/coincidence, or was Anna just malleable enough, do you think?

I think they have simply managed to prolong the honeymoon period. They have TLC money, heaps of family support for free babysitting, meal prep, cleaning etc. They live in Grandma's house. The stresses of real life that make or break a relationship haven't come up for them yet. They have much more freedom than they had in their fathers homes before marriage, and few of the responsibilities that go with adulthood. And they get to have sex.

So I think they are happy, and I think they feel love for each other. I'm not sure if that will last as they grow up and their personalities grow out of the narrow moulds their parents allowed them.

[ceg045]

Josh and Anna seem oddly suited to each other though. A fluke/coincidence, or was Anna just malleable enough, do you think?

I dunno, this is a movement that prides itself on weeding out any trace of "rebellion" (what some might call individuality) from their children, particularly the girls. The desired end is a production line of cookie-cutter children with personalties as unvarying as the polos, khakis, and frumpers they wear day in and day out. If you drink the Kool-Aid, as both Josh and Anna seem to have done, it's no great surprise to me that you'll be "happy" with your mate. Josh gets a submissive wife who thinks everything he does is just swell, and even if she doesn't, it's not like Anna's going to confront him about it. Lazy slug that he is, however, I'm guessing he doesn't bother her for much other than the occasional boink following a vat of chickenetti.

[Maude]

I think they have simply managed to prolong the honeymoon period. They have TLC money, heaps of family support for free babysitting, meal prep, cleaning etc. They live in Grandma's house. The stresses of real life that make or break a relationship haven't come up for them yet. They have much more freedom than they had in their fathers homes before marriage, and few of the responsibilities that go with adulthood. And they get to have sex.

So I think they are happy, and I think they feel love for each other. I'm not sure if that will last as they grow up and their personalities grow out of the narrow moulds their parents allowed them.

That's very true. It'll be interesting to 'see' how things turn out once the cameras stop rolling.

[Ms Lucy Fur]

Courtship might work better if the people involved were from the same church/community and actually knew each other before they began courting. Somewhere (probably on the old Free Jinger forum) someone counted the number of times Josh and Anna saw each other before they got married. It was amazingly low, like seven or eight. And of course, none of that time was spent alone where they could really talk.

I was looking at the courtship stories on ylcf which extoll the virtues of Gawd and daddy led matcmaking, blah blah horseshit, etc. anyway, some of these fools meet, cort, get engaged and married in 6 months, some in less time. It's like waking up in vegas, hungover and married.

[FloraDoraDolly]

I think they have simply managed to prolong the honeymoon period. They have TLC money, heaps of family support for free babysitting, meal prep, cleaning etc. They live in Grandma's house. The stresses of real life that make or break a relationship haven't come up for them yet. They have much more freedom than they had in their fathers homes before marriage, and few of the responsibilities that go with adulthood. And they get to have sex.

So I think they are happy, and I think they feel love for each other. I'm not sure if that will last as they grow up and their personalities grow out of the narrow moulds their parents allowed them.

Josh and Anna do seem to get along well, but their Instagrams make them sound more like teenagers playing house than like an adult married couple with two kids. Josh in particular seems to be about seventeen years old mentally (physically he looks closer to forty). Like you said, they don't have to deal with the stresses of real life. In addition to having sex, they get to watch TV and eat as much as they want. In this economy, a normal married couple of undereducated twentysomethings with two kids is probably struggling to buy groceries and pay the electric bill.

[Mela99]

I think they have simply managed to prolong the honeymoon period. They have TLC money, heaps of family support for free babysitting, meal prep, cleaning etc. They live in Grandma's house. The stresses of real life that make or break a relationship haven't come up for them yet. They have much more freedom than they had in their fathers homes before marriage, and few of the responsibilities that go with adulthood. And they get to have sex.

So I think they are happy, and I think they feel love for each other. I'm not sure if that will last as they grow up and their personalities grow out of the narrow moulds their parents allowed them.

I agree with this. I think Anna firmly believed she wanted nothing more than a husband and jumped at the chance when Smuggs came along. He looked good on paper.

As for Smugs.. I think any girl would have done. He wanted a helpmeet and someone to purge his sinful desires.

[Minerva]

I was looking at the courtship stories on ylcf which extoll the virtues of Gawd and daddy led matcmaking, blah blah horseshit, etc. anyway, some of these fools meet, cort, get engaged and married in 6 months, some in less time. It's like waking up in vegas, hungover and married.

And that's probably why a surprising number of them avert immediate disaster despite their marriages being nothing short of reckless. This is the closest thing to excitement they've ever had, and they cling to it unreasonably like a 1st year university student repeating the same stupid drunken night over and over again.

[Jezebel Duggar]

I think you misspelt control. :whistle:

I stand corrected! (...well, sit actually)

[GeoBQn]

From the Bates family blog:

 

 

Quote

Many have asked for an update on Zach and Sarah’s courtship that was announced last June. After prayer, Sarah decided to end the courtship several months after it began. We have not posted any updates or answered any comments about it until now, in order to give both Zach and Sarah time to heal.

 

Any parting of a relationship causes pain, and although we would love to avoid heartaches in life, it is through these very trying times that character and faith often grow. For Zach, it has been a time of learning, thinking, and drawing closer to Christ.

 

Zach is grateful that he and Sarah hadn’t chosen the traditional path of dating, since it protected them from wrong goals and further pain. The three main goals of their courtship were 1. to maintain purity, 2. to discover if they were the right life partners for marriage, and 3. to honor God first and foremost in their relationship. In that sense, their courtship was a success, as they achieved each of these goals.

 

Although the relationship did not progress into engagement and marriage, their time together was focused on strengthening their walk with the Lord, and therefore ended in friendship. Zach is grateful for having developed a relationship with Sarah and her family. He has learned valuable insights from the example of their family harmony and love for God. In spite of the pain of parting, he is full of memories and experiences that have encouraged him, strengthened him, challenged him, and humbled him. He can appreciate the growth that has taken place in his life as a result of these circumstances.

http://gilbatesfamily.com/2012/07/12/courtship-update/

 

While Kelly claims that Zach is glad that he went the courtship route because it "protected them from wrong goals and further pain," I have to believe that he is hurting. After all, he's been told all his life that going the courtship route was the key to finding his true love. Not to mention the fact that he popped the question on national television, so that moment will live forever on the Internet.

[SpeakNow]

From the Bates family blog:

http://gilbatesfamily.com/2012/07/12/courtship-update/

While Kelly claims that Zach is glad that he went the courtship route because it "protected them from wrong goals and further pain," I have to believe that he is hurting. After all, he's been told all his life that going the courtship route was the key to finding his true love. Not to mention the fact that he popped the question on national television, so that moment will live forever on the Internet.

Isn't the whole point f courtship to guard your heart and avoid pain? I think it has failed on both accounts

[Jessica]

Thank goodness. When he asked her to court him she looked horrified and disgusted but was keeping a smile just to be polite.

[JenniferJuniper]

Wonder if the upcoming TV show had any impact on Sarah's and/or her parents' decision to cut off the courtship.

[jockosmom]

So does this mean pieces of his heart are gone, never to be replenished? I would think ending a courtship would hurt a lot more than ending a dating relationship. If you go into a courtship with serious intentions (as these fundies are supposed to do) and then it doesn't turn into marriage, I would think that would be more devastating than ending a casual dating relationship where you went into it just to get to know the person a little and have some fun.

[alysee]

Saw that coming from a mile away! Sarah looked terrified when he was proposing unlike Anna who seemed genuinely happy.

[Guest LilaFowler]

I would say he can go after Jana Duggar now, but I think Jana deserves much better.

[nokidsmom]

So does this mean pieces of his heart are gone, never to be replenished? I would think ending a courtship would hurt a lot more than ending a dating relationship. If you go into a courtship with serious intentions (as these fundies are supposed to do) and then it doesn't turn into marriage, I would think that would be more devastating than ending a casual dating relationship where you went into it just to get to know the person a little and have some fun.

+1. I could never understand how courtship was supposed to be "safer" when the parties are encouraged, indeed raised, to enter into it with such amazingly high (and IMHO unrealistic) expectations.