Zack Bates and Sarah Reith Courtship Kaput

[FaeT]

Gil just made a comment "first this kiss then this kiss then look at all these kids!" ... that's really says a lot ..

The girls sing about happy housework?!?! I think I just threw up a little

[deelaem]

ooo yes, Zach and Jana should get together. Jana needs to find a headship so she can get out of there. :clap:

What difference would a fundie marriage make in her life, other than saddling her with a bunch of kids that she'll no longer have her sisters' help with? There is really no way that fundie marriage will make any of these poor young women's lives any better.

[FaeT]

Isn't courtship supposed to bring you to the one that GOD has chosen for you? So basically, either God was wrong or after he had a long talk with himself (ie, praying) he decided that he should enter into this relationship with the expectations of marriage. Because going out to dinner with someone a few times/Dating is worse than entering into a relationship with the complete hope that it will lead to marriage. Yeah, I would take my steak at Longhorn over courting some db that I didn't even know and was expected to marry.

Silly, heathen. Obviously they misunderstood what God was telling them. :naughty:

[marmalade]

Kelly spun it around and interpreted the failed courtship as successful. Nothing like deluding yourself into believing whatever's convenient!

Amen. They broke up, just like people who date who find they aren't compatible do. And in THEIR case, there was even MORE investment in it because they claim it is designed to lead to marriage. I would think that would lead to MORE hurt than the break up of a couple who had been dating for an equal amount of time (sounds like 6-8 months if they broke up "months" ago and they began the courtship a year ago). She's admitting that he's LEARNING from the experience, just like we heathens learn from our break-ups.

They're such sanctimonious hypocrites. I don't want gentle Jana anywhere near that creep Zach.

[xReems]

This is exactly like dating, except they throw parents and God into the mix. They can say whatever they want but Zack has given a piece of his heart away, even if he remained pure. He still showed her his emotional side and opened his heart up to her-that's giving a piece of your heart away. What's amazing is that it was Sarah who ended the courtship and not Zack. She did tell her dad how she thought Zack was an amazing man and I truly do believe that she wanted it to work out and be with him. My guess is that either she wasn't ready to give up her singing career with her family and a housewife or she didn't feel comfortable with the cameras being around her, while thousands of people see intimate details about their courtship. Lets face it-the Bates are turning into the Duggar family and sometimes having the cameras around constantly can be a bit too much for some.

[nokidsmom]

What difference would a fundie marriage make in her life, other than saddling her with a bunch of kids that she'll no longer have her sisters' help with? There is really no way that fundie marriage will make any of these poor young women's lives any better.

Agreed. And after spending years raising their own siblings, only to turn around and spend an unknown number of years raising a bunch more kids, plus homeschool them, plus keep up the house, with no guarantees that your headship can even support it, is no improvement.

[Little_Eyes]

Amen. They broke up, just like people who date who find they aren't compatible do. And in THEIR case, there was even MORE investment in it because they claim it is designed to lead to marriage. I would think that would lead to MORE hurt than the break up of a couple who had been dating for an equal amount of time (sounds like 6-8 months if they broke up "months" ago and they began the courtship a year ago). She's admitting that he's LEARNING from the experience, just like we heathens learn from our break-ups.

They're such sanctimonious hypocrites. I don't want gentle Jana anywhere near that creep Zach.

THIS! How does preparing for marriage from "hello!" make you less likely to have heartbreak? Honestly, I think it would mean more heartache, because you're putting all your eggs in one basket and becoming so emotionally invested in the idea of marriage with this person, even when you really don't know the person themselves.

However, I get the impression that Zach is pretty down about the break up. If that is the case, I feel bad for him, but getting your heart trampled on is part of growing up and finding the person that's right for you. I don't think Sarah was.

(Oh wait, not in Fundiedom. Jesus is going plop your soul-mate in your father's study! I'm such a silly librul.)

[IReallyAmHopewell]

My take: Zach wants to get into music. The Reiths are already traveling and performing. She IS lovely looking which helps. She had probably met him only in the flash mob when they were building the new house for the Bates. He bird-dogged her and decided she had fewer sibs so maybe wouldn't be hung up on have umptee-billion-kids.

So since they were never alone together that lets them keep all the pieces of their hearts?? What crap. She's singing with joy and he's stunned that his studliness was rejected!

He'll probably focus on doing Gothards so-called Law School now to hide his pain.

Would Jim-Bob allow one of his daughters to marry someone with a failed courtship behind him?? And one who couldn't afford a 40 year old trailer debt free?? hmmmmm....They are going to have to have a courtship or SOMETHING new to carry the show this year.

[missbrooklyn]

They obviously had to explain things before the show airs, or there would be a lot of crazy heathens (i.e., me) wondering wazzup. I hope Sarah left his ass for someone else. And I hope that person is a Duggar, maybe even JD. Damn, I miss the soap operas.

[purpleeee]

ElphabaGalinda, marmalade, xReems, Little_Eyes, totally agree re dating. Here, I'll translate for Kelly. Heathen (Hindu) me may not use the same vocabulary as you, Kelly, but I think the same about premarital relationships …

[Any two people today can be grateful they didn't choose] the traditional path of [fathers telling their daughters whom to marry], since [starting a relationship to get to know each other] protected them from wrong goals and further pain. The three main goals of their [relationship] were 1. to maintain [respect for each other], 2. to discover if they were the right life partners, and 3. to honor [their values] first and foremost in their relationship. In that sense, [any broken-up relationship] was a success, [if it] achieved each of these goals. In spite of the pain of parting, [anyone can have] memories and experiences that have [helped their spiritual/psychological growth]. [Anyone] can appreciate the growth that has taken place in [their] life as a result of these circumstances.

I hope more fundies get real about this!

[Witsec5]

I don't watch the Duggars or the Bates at all. Can someone catch me up on why Zack is a tool a la Smuggar?

[keen23]

Gil just made a comment "first this kiss then this kiss then look at all these kids!" ... that's really says a lot ..

The girls sing about happy housework?!?! I think I just threw up a little

It's probably not the same as the Happy Working Song from Enchanted huh?

kfvQMtQ1SbQ

[TinyDancer87]

Wow. I'd be super pissed if my mom put on the blog for the whole world to see that someone dumped me! Kelly should have said "things didn't work out, and they called it off", not that Sarah called it off.

For Sarah to have done this takes guts for a fundy. Hardly any women get to call the shots, so I give props to her and her parents for giving her the liberty to figure out whats best for her. If I were her, I'd be completely scared of the thought of marrying such a country bumpkin as Zach Bates. I think Sarah, and Jana, are too good for that.

[darkplumaged]

Would Jim-Bob allow one of his daughters to marry someone with a failed courtship behind him??

I don't think a failed courtship is that big a deal in fundieland, so long as the courters have remained PURE. Even Christopher Maxwell had a courtship (or two?) before meeting Anna Marie.

[Deleted07]

Well it certainly taught the Bates a lesson, don't announce a courtship to begin with, or let it be filmed!

One (and I hate to say it!) 'smart' thing at least the Duggars did was not to show Anna or anything about their courtship until the actual engagement question was popped and she had said YES! Makes for much less pressure!

But I agree with everyones elses sentiments, Sarah was horrified when he asked to court her. I often suspected the Reiths were fundie-light with their love of catchy bluegrass, and their small family of musicians. Glad she was able to have a say about her future, and her father didn't just make her go through with it!

But yeah way to stay classy Kelly Jo, telling the world Sarah called it off. Making sure you let everyone know that your widdle Zacky did nothing wrong... :roll:

and again, just echoing everyone elses thoughts that courtship is in NO freaking way 'protecting your heart' or any better from casual dating, the only difference is theres a hands off rule attached. Which heck a lot of women have anyways, I know I do...

:naughty: urgh these people just irritate with their sanctimonious bullshit, covered in bible spew. :hand:

[lilwriter85]

I don't think a failed courtship is that big a deal in fundieland, so long as the courters have remained PURE. Even Christopher Maxwell had a courtship (or two?) before meeting Anna Marie.

I agree with you, failed courtships probably aren't a big deal. Josh Duggar had a courtship/engagement that ended and if Mike Keller knew about it, maybe he was ok with Josh courting Anna.

[slickcat79]

Granted, I don't actually know much about them, but I got the impression that the Reiths are less fundie than the Bateses or the Duggars. They're certainly way less insular than the Maxwells. It seems somewhat more legit(!) to stay with your family when you're actually traveling around and performing together, instead of just hosting a bunch of conferences and peddling books. They're all pretty talented and they all contribute to their family "business". Since she didn't seem that into Zach to begin with, I have a feeling that any guy Sarah would actually want to end up with won't give a rat's ass about a failed courtship. All normal people understand that their partners have probably had previous relationships that didn't work out. It's part of life, and I hope Sarah and her family understand that.

[aelar]

Isn't it pretty common when courtships fail for people to say the girl called it off? Because girl's reputations are more fragile (grrr...) and having the boy call it off, or having them say it was mutual might make (stupid) people wonder what was wrong with her, and therefore hurt her chances of making a fundie marriage.

[Deleted07]

Isn't it pretty common when courtships fail for people to say the girl called it off? Because girl's reputations are more fragile (grrr...) and having the boy call it off, or having them say it was mutual might make (stupid) people wonder what was wrong with her, and therefore hurt her chances of making a fundie marriage.

I think at least if they had of said it was Mutual, it would have at least protected BOTH but namely Sarah. But no, Kelly Jo had to piss all over any woman who dared to come to a conclusion on her own about what to do with her life and who dared to deny a MASTER Bates!!!! :naughty:

[nokidsmom]

I think at least if they had of said it was Mutual, it would have at least protected BOTH but namely Sarah. But no, Kelly Jo had to piss all over any woman who dared to come to a conclusion on her own about what to do with her life and who dared to deny a MASTER Bates!!!! :naughty:

Yeah, nice parting shot too. Bet Sarah is even more relieved about her decision now. And if Zach is still hurting over this (I think he probably is) wonder how he feels about his Mom dissing Sarah over the internetz.

[lilah]

ooo yes, Zach and Jana should get together. Jana needs to find a headship so she can get out of there

I'm sure that TLC would be beyond thrilled at the prospect of a crossover wedding special.

Oh and add me into the people throwing up a little at the happy working song while the boys get to do obstacle courses and rapelling in the woods. I wonder what Johannah would prefer to do. Poor little peanut. Oh and I wonder if Sarah was totally blindsided by the courtship proposal.

[donks]

Saw that coming from a mile away! Sarah looked terrified when he was proposing unlike Anna who seemed genuinely happy.

I think she saw herself a barefoot broodmare follwed by stairstep dull-featured offspring.

No chance of a decent life and she wanted out. She did the right thing IMO. Yuk, who'd want to marry into that clan? Or in the case o f the Bates, KLAN.

She stuck it out for a while so it seemed like she was actually considering going through with it.

[patsymae]

Didn't Zach have to go through Daddy to get permission to court Sarah? Maybe Daddy rethought the proposition of having Bates as in-laws--just on a musical level that would probably kill him. If it wasn't Daddy's idea to kill the courtship, I at least give him props for letting Sarah make a decision.

[bananacat]

I am really surprised that Sarah was even allowed to break it off. Doesn't that mean she didn't trust her fathers judgment? It's nearly outright obeying him.

However, there will never be a Bates-Duggar marriage unless some of them rebel and do it non-fundie style. Those parents hate each other so hard that they can barely contain it under their fake smiles.

[Seven Severn]

Wow. Good for Sarah! No doubt she saw up close what a bloated bumpkin? tool? asswipe? he is. She escaped the noose!