File Under: When you thought Lori couldn't be any crueler...

[emmiedahl]

She is lucky she has never had a really stubborn kid. None of that stuff would have fazed me as a child, and I doubt it would work on my oldest daughter. Some kids have strong enough personalities that the only way to deal with them is to get them on your side. Make them want to behave and earn rewards and please you.

[NurseNell]

If I had to put money on which of Lori's kids will reject Pearl methods, I would put money on Steven the one who recently graduated from dental school. The two daughters seem to be mommy pleasers. I just get a feeling that Steven might be the one who won't pick up the plumbing line.

And she couldn't go to his graduation because of a headache (I think that's what it was). I had a co-worker who was near the end of her cancer fight but she was not going to die until she watched her daughter get her college diploma. She was there in a wheelchair. An ambulance had to be called at the end of graduation to transport her to the hospital. She died a few days later. Lori's son was graduating from dental school, she should have been there.

[NurseNell]

She is lucky she has never had a really stubborn kid. None of that stuff would have fazed me as a child, and I doubt it would work on my oldest daughter. Some kids have strong enough personalities that the only way to deal with them is to get them on your side. Make them want to behave and earn rewards and please you.

Silly Emmie, that's too logical. Lori isn't into logic.

[SealFan1963]

First of all she needs to learn to spell raisins. Is she too stupid to use spell check? The only thing they are teaching their children is that someone bigger and stronger than them can force them to do anything and that their feelings/needs do not matter.

They broke that child's spirit and just reading it made me so sad. There is so much about these fundies I just don't understand, especially the need to control every aspect of their 'blessings' lives.

[lilwriter85]

First of all she needs to learn to spell raisins. Is she too stupid to use spell check? The only thing they are teaching their children is that someone bigger and stronger than them can force them to do anything and that their feelings/needs do not matter.

They broke that child's spirit and just reading it made me so sad. There is so much about these fundies I just don't understand, especially the need to control every aspect of their 'blessings' lives.

I wonder if she has her browser spell check turned off, her misspelling are pretty constant. I do think Lori comes off as very stupid in a lot of her postings. She lacks logic on many subjects and literally thinks that the Bible holds all the answers to life.

[BlondeAgent007]

As a general guideline for introducing new foods to kids, the rule of thumb is that a child needs to be exposed to a new food at least 7-10 times before they will even TRY it. Our natural reaction is not to stuff anything we can into our mouths, for fear that the food might be poisonous or generally not safe to consume. Little kids also have to see their parents eating the food as well. You teach your children to eat a variety of foods by modeling that same behavior. If Mom pushes her veggies around her plate, drinks iced tea instead of milk at dinner, and gets really excited every time she opens a bag of potato chips, chances are the kids are going to model that same behavior. Once the food becomes familiar, common, and normal, the child will eventually try it on their own. Force feeding will only result in negative feelings and memories surrounding said food.

[lilwriter85]

And she couldn't go to his graduation because of a headache (I think that's what it was). I had a co-worker who was near the end of her cancer fight but she was not going to die until she watched her daughter get her college diploma. She was there in a wheelchair. An ambulance had to be called at the end of graduation to transport her to the hospital. She died a few days later. Lori's son was graduating from dental school, she should have been there.

I was touched when I read about your co-worker going to her daughter's graduation despite being very ill. I think Lori said something about having neck pain on the day of her son's graduation. My boyfriend's mom is a retired occupational therapist and she has told me several stories of some of her past clients going to be family events despite being pain or not in great shape. A couple of years back, she had an ALS patient who had to go on a ventilator and a week later he attended his son's state championship baseball game, despite still being very self-conscious of the ventilator.

Another FJer and I discussed the dental school graduation, in another thread and we both suspect that Lori exaggerates her neck pains and health problems to get out of certain things. I do realize that chronic pain can really do a number on people, but I still get the feeling that Lori's issues aren't as bad as she makes them out to be.

[TrueRebel1]

Wow. I truly believe that force feeding children (or requiring a "clean plate"), only encourages eating disorders and overeating. What is so wrong with encouraging children to taste everything on their plate, but only eat what they are hungry for? Also, I've heard that often when young children (especially toddlers) dislike a particular food, they actually can't digest it right or are sensitive or allergic to it.

[NurseNell]

I was touched when I read about your co-worker going to her daughter's graduation despite being very ill. I think Lori said something about having neck pain on the day of her son's graduation. My boyfriend's mom is a retired occupational therapist and she has told me several stores of some of her past clients going to be family events despite being pain or not in great shape. A couple of years back, she had an ALS patient who had to go on a ventilator and a week later he attended his son's state championship baseball game, despite still being very self-conscious of the ventilator.

Another FJer and I discussed the dental school graduation, in another thread and we both suspect that Lori exaggerates her neck pains and health problems to get out of certain things. I do realize that chronic pain can really do a number on people, but I still get the feeling that Lori's issues aren't as bad as she makes them out to be.

You're right, it was neck pain. And I'm on the same page with you, she manipulates her family with it.

It was so sad when Diane died. Her daughter graduated with a BSN but after her mother's very sudden cancer diagnosis (3 months from diagnosis to death) she went on to medical school. We all know her Mom would be so proud.

[lilwriter85]

You're right, it was neck pain. And I'm on the same page with you, she manipulates her family with it.

It was so sad when Diane died. Her daughter graduated with a BSN but after her mother's very sudden cancer diagnosis (3 months from diagnosis to death) she went on to medical school. We all know her Mom would be so proud.

I also think Lori manipulates her friends and extended family with her neck pains and other issues. It seems all her friends and family constantly pamper her and some of the readers buy into it as well. I think at some point, a relative or friend of Lori's will get fed up with her. I agree your friend would be very proud of her daughter.

[Koala]

And I'm on the same page with you, she manipulates her family with it.

Yeah, I've got a feeling that there's very little in that house that Lori doesn't control. She can sing her submissive wife song all day, but I think she just does that for the opportunity to "teach" and "mentor" (read control) other women.

Everything she posts is about 1 of 2 things:

1. How selfish and god awful women are, and how she, god's own special gift to womanhood, is here to correct them and teach them how to do things the right way.

2. How she controlled her kids when they were young. Even with the title of her first post about Emma being force fed "Emma Isn't The Boss!" you can practically see her smiling with glee over the fact that she (through her son) is able to control that poor baby.

I also like the passive aggressive jabs she took at her father and daughter when she was sick and they didn't bring her exactly what she wanted.

I just wanted a potato, something soft and filling. I asked my dad to stop by my favorite health food store and pick up some vegetable soup.

He brought me chicken noodle. No potatoes...I asked Cassi to buy me some potatoes. The next day I went to put a potato in the oven and all the potatoes were green with brown spots all over them. No potatoes...

The next day, she bought me some good potatoes and made a big pot of vegetable soup for me. I couldn't wait to finally have some potatoes. I went to get some soup and there was not ONE potato in the whole soup!!! I almost lost it. I did shed a few tears. I wanted to text her, "Where are the potatoes???" Make her feel bad, you know.

And a jab at her mom:

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2012-05-13T16:00:00-07:00&max-results=4&start=52&by-date=false

See how good Lori is? She's even mentoring her own mom. :roll:

[FaeT]

Wow. I truly believe that force feeding children (or requiring a "clean plate"), only encourages eating disorders and overeating. What is so wrong with encouraging children to taste everything on their plate, but only eat what they are hungry for? Also, I've heard that often when young children (especially toddlers) dislike a particular food, they actually can't digest it right or are sensitive or allergic to it.

THIS. Along with the fact that children/teens tend to develop eating disorders as a way to control something when they have no control over anything else, I'm really surprised more of these children don't have serious eating disorders. More than likely bulimia since not eating would be cause for punishment.

[Georgiana]

This. I really feel sorry for Emma and any other future grandchildren of Lori and Ken. I don't think anyone can train their taste buds to like anything. I like a lot of different foods, but there are several foods that I can't stand either due to the taste or texture.

Also, a lot of foods kids refuse to eat even when force is attempted have to do with food allergies. Some allergies are severe enough to show external symptoms right away, but many manifest symptoms that could be taken for many things by the parent (e.g. runny nose/sinus stuffiness, nausea, etc.). Many times, parents miss those allergies, but kids will pick up on them right away. They know even as small children that they hate food X, but they may not be able to consciously link it to the symptoms or express that. They just want to avoid it like the plague. Survival instincts, because food allergies can get worse the more you expose a person to the food.

I HATED milk for my whole life. I fought it since I was 2. But it took until age 10 for me to express to my doctor that I didn't want to drink my milk because it made me feel sick. A few tests later, it was confirmed that I was severely lactose intolerant. Not an allergy, but you get the drift.

Although I will say, I became a MUCH less picky eater after living in China. Not having a choice as to what you eat (you know, when you actually only have one meal option and it is literally eat this or go hungry) really brings out the flavor in all food. Or maybe it's the fact that not liking it becomes less of an option? For most foods, if you eat them enough you grow at least to neutrality on them. HOWEVER, it was my adult choice to subject myself to those conditions, and there is a lot more going on in children refusing food than just taste.

[lilwriter85]

Yeah, I've got a feeling that there's very little in that house that Lori doesn't control. She can sing her submissive wife song all day, but I think she just does that for the opportunity to "teach" and "mentor" (read control) other women.

Everything she posts is about 1 of 2 things:

1. How selfish and god awful women are, and how she, god's own special gift to womanhood, is here to correct them and teach them how to do things the right way.

2. How she controlled her kids when they were young. Even with the title of her first post about Emma being force fed "Emma Isn't The Boss!" you can practically see her smiling with glee over the fact that she (through her son) is able to control that poor baby.

I also like the passive aggressive jabs she took at her father and daughter when she was sick and they didn't bring her exactly what she wanted.

And a jab at her mom:

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/searc ... date=false

See how good Lori is? She's even mentoring her own mom. :roll:

I have read some of the jabs she has taken at her parents and I found those jabs to be awful. Nobody's parents are perfect. I would never try to mentor my own mom. Lori does seem like a control freak. My guess is that she has managed to control and manipulate her parents, kids and extended relatives. I think the only person she can't control is the great Ken.

[NurseNell]

I also like the passive aggressive jabs she took at her father and daughter when she was sick and they didn't bring her exactly what she wanted.

And a jab at her mom:

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/searc ... date=false

See how good Lori is? She's even mentoring her own mom. :roll:

Wow, she really is a bitch!

[BabyFullOfSin]

I get so angry when I read stories like this, I can't even think straight.

All I can say is poor poor baby

[lilwriter85]

Wow, she really is a bitch!

Yup she is. I actually think she is almost as ZsuZsu. As I said before, somebody is bound to get fed up with her at some point. If she does end up in a nursing home someday, I can see her being the old lady who verbally abuses the staff members for not catering to every single need or want.

[latraviata]

it's only "effective" in that the children learn that to protest anything will bring them pain and so they give up (as opposed to "learning"). Makes for strong resentment and estrangement in adulthood.

So very, very true!!

[latraviata]

You *can* teach your tastebuds to like a greater variety of foods... but that's YOUR tastebuds, nobody else's. And it involves not stressing yourself out over it and WANTING to increase the foods you eat. It does NOT involve shoving food down somebody else's throat, dear God.

Whatever happened to "whoever hurts these little ones"? I'd like to tie a millstone around her neck.

The best stimulant for children to eat is a pleasant atmosphere at the table.

Of course children are picky sometimes, when it happened at my table, I remained rather stoic about that. Ok if you don't want to eat fine, but you are not getting something else and you can't leave the table until we are all finished, which was the rule anyway.

When they didn't like something, I gave them a very tiny bit (one or two Brussels sprouts) , just for being polite. No problem here and a cheering well done when they ate it and they always did.

No anger at all, sociability, conversations and the like and very important, take plenty of time to sit all together and enjoy!!

Eating shouldn't equal torture but something to enjoy.

[easternabeille]

Wow. I truly believe that force feeding children (or requiring a "clean plate"), only encourages eating disorders and overeating. What is so wrong with encouraging children to taste everything on their plate, but only eat what they are hungry for? Also, I've heard that often when young children (especially toddlers) dislike a particular food, they actually can't digest it right or are sensitive or allergic to it.

Too true! My husband was made to clean his plate as a child, and often his parents and sister referred to him as a 'garbage can' and would give him the leftover food off their plates to eat. This led him to gaining weight after he stopped participating in sports as an older child and gave him a raging eating disorder as an adult. Psychologically he could NOT leave food on his plate, and would have to finish off all leftovers in the house, just like he was taught/forced to as a child. Of course his family would still mock him for his weight. My husband is much better now, but I've had to change lifestyles and habits to accommodate his eating habits. I no longer cook large portions of food to keep for later and leftovers, and I've learned to only serve small portions of food. I also can't keep certain foods in the house because of this. On a side note my parents didn't care one bit what I ate, or if I didn't like something, and I was never forced to have a clean plate or to eat something. The only rule regarding food my parents had was that I needed to try one bite, and if I honestly didn't like the food then I didn't need to eat it. Of course they also made it a point to always serve a variety of foods, including ones I 'didn't like' when I was growing up. The only foods I refuse to eat now are blueberries and raisins :)

I also seem to remember reading a newspaper article about a toddler that the parents assumed was an extremely picky eater. If I remember correctly he would only eat jello, jelly and one or two other soft foods and would scream and cry if his parents tried to feed him anything else. Lucky for him his mother wasn't Lori and took him to a doctor where he was diagnosed with severe acid reflux, which had scarred the inside of his throat. So he wasn't actually a picky eater, it's just that most foods hurt him!

[salsa]

She now says she tries very hard to never be mad at my dad

(from the post on her mother's marriage).

There's that "always" and "never" business again. :roll:

I hope this child doesn't grow up with an eating disorder. She's now learned that even eating is a power-play by her parents. One day she'll be a teenager and just may find ways to not eat, or to throw up what she eats just because it's something she can control.

[latraviata]

Too true! My husband was made to clean his plate as a child, and often his parents and sister referred to him as a 'garbage can' and would give him the leftover food off their plates to eat. This led him to gaining weight after he stopped participating in sports as an older child and gave him a raging eating disorder as an adult. Psychologically he could NOT leave food on his plate, and would have to finish off all leftovers in the house, just like he was taught/forced to as a child. Of course his family would still mock him for his weight. My husband is much better now, but I've had to change lifestyles and habits to accommodate his eating habits. I no longer cook large portions of food to keep for later and leftovers, and I've learned to only serve small portions of food. I also can't keep certain foods in the house because of this. On a side note my parents didn't care one bit what I ate, or if I didn't like something, and I was never forced to have a clean plate or to eat something. The only rule regarding food my parents had was that I needed to try one bite, and if I honestly didn't like the food then I didn't need to eat it. Of course they also made it a point to always serve a variety of foods, including ones I 'didn't like' when I was growing up. The only foods I refuse to eat now are blueberries and raisins :)

I also seem to remember reading a newspaper article about a toddler that the parents assumed was an extremely picky eater. If I remember correctly he would only eat jello, jelly and one or two other soft foods and would scream and cry if his parents tried to feed him anything else. Lucky for him his mother wasn't Lori and took him to a doctor where he was diagnosed with severe acid reflux, which had scarred the inside of his throat. So he wasn't actually a picky eater, it's just that most foods hurt him!

Oh dear lord, can't you post that story about the little boy on her website?

[slickcat79]

Yeah, I've got a feeling that there's very little in that house that Lori doesn't control. She can sing her submissive wife song all day, but I think she just does that for the opportunity to "teach" and "mentor" (read control) other women.

Everything she posts is about 1 of 2 things:

1. How selfish and god awful women are, and how she, god's own special gift to womanhood, is here to correct them and teach them how to do things the right way.

2. How she controlled her kids when they were young. Even with the title of her first post about Emma being force fed "Emma Isn't The Boss!" you can practically see her smiling with glee over the fact that she (through her son) is able to control that poor baby.

I also like the passive aggressive jabs she took at her father and daughter when she was sick and they didn't bring her exactly what she wanted.

What, Lori can't train her taste buds to want something else? She can cry over having to eat something she doesn't want, but won't let a small child get away with it :roll: Guess we need to break out the plumbing line.

[Koala]

My only comfort is that she only has "positive" 2 comments so far. I am guessing she is deleting a shit load of others. Hopefully her readers are starting to see her for what she is.

[Dinorah]

Obviously force feeding a child is never ok, but the saddest thing is that it sounds that it's really about controlling the granddaughter, notabout worrying she isn't getting enough to eat or might become a picky eater.